Fun:Montana

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Montana: "I see dead things."

Montana is unique among the states of the United States. While many states proudly display wildlife, farm animals, flowers or trees as part of their twenty five cent commemorative piece, Montana simply has a skull.

Inspired, some think, by early Eagles album covers?

The official state nickname is "The Treasure State."[1]

Contents

[edit] Awesome destinations

It should be noted that these destinations don't take long to get to, despite the size of the state; Montana is unique among the states by having no speed limit on interstate highways during the daytime.

[edit] Missoula

Missoula is the hippest little town between Seattle and Minneapolis, full of Grateful Dead fans, radical environmentalist wackos, Rockin' Rudy's, and the like. Missoula can be easily spotted from the sky by the big peace sign on the hill.

[edit] Glacier National Park

An absolutely stunning national park in the north-west of the state with only glacier in the continental US. It is proof of global warming for anyone who has visited the park in five year intervals. A national park since 1910; it has only one major road, the Going to the Sun Road[2]

[edit] Not so awesome destinations

[edit] Butte

Butte is a rough and ready little mining hamlet famous for three things: child abuse, St. Patrick's Day, and the Berkeley Pit. The majority of Buttians are Catholic because they know hell is a very real place. Butte has voted Democratic in every election since Montana attained statehood, but this is probably because of massive vote fraud by tommyknockers sabotaging the voting machines.

[edit] Havre

Tumbleweed.gif


(This is what you might actually see while driving down 1st Street (U.S. 2) on a windy day.)

[edit] The greatest Montanananans

  • The best thing to come out of Montana in recent years is Senator Jon Tester, who, when confronted by the Republican incumbent during a debate that he wanted to weaken the USA PATRIOT Act, replied "weaken hell, I want to repeal it!"
  • Some people think the worst thing to come out of Montana, as of late, is Max Baucus.
  • The single greatest Montana of all time was Joe Montana.
  • Norman MacLean had a spiffy movie made about him and his brother fly fishing. Reportedly fly fishing became a brief fad in 1992 because of it.
  • Rick Jore, a State Representative from Ronan was the only member of the Constitution Party to hold an elected office. Despite (or because of) his repeated bashing of public education he was made chair of the House Committee on Education by the state Republican party.

[edit] Cranks

  • The Montana Freemen were a group of cranks from the sovereign citizen movement who thought they could get rid of all their debts by filing bogus liens at the county courthouse and then floating worthless checks against those liens. An attempted 1994 foreclosure on their property followed by a 1996 standoff with the FBI put an end to that silliness.
  • Stan Jones, Montana's perennial Libertarian candidate for U.S. Senate, is a notorious consumer of colloidal silver. No word yet on whether he will change his name to Papa Smurf.
  • Elizabeth Clare Prophet and the Church Universal and Triumphant who prepared for a prophesized nuclear war by collecting weapons and armored vehicles, presumably to finish off the survivors.

[edit] Not much to do with Montana

Vasily Borodin would have liked to have seen Montana.

[edit] Footnotes

  1. One has to wonder how it got that name.
  2. Immortalized in the opening sequence of The Shining
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