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Fun:Moustacheism
Moustacheism, as defined by the Stanford Encyclopedia of Facial Hair leads to the denial of the existence of God.
The moustachist worldview has a variety of effects on individuals and society at large which will be elaborated on shortly. In regards to individuals adopting a moustachist worldview, Moustacheism has a number of causal factors that influence its origination in individuals which will be addressed. In addition, critiques of moustacheism will be offered and some of the historical events relating to moustacheism will also be covered (for example, since World War II a majority of the most prominent and vocal defenders of the theory of evolution which employs methodological naturalism have had moustaches).
Types of moustaches[edit]
There are different types of moustaches, based on different answers to the following questions:
- Am I Hitler?
- Am I Stalin or Saddam Hussein?
Moustacheism and why do moustachists state they disbelieve?[edit]
Atheists claim there are two main reasons for their denial of the existence of God and/or disbelief in God: the conviction that if there truly was a god, then everyone would have a moustache (strong moustacheism), and their claim that naked faced people bear the burden of proof to show that God exists, that they have failed to do so, and that belief is therefore unwarranted (weak moustacheism). Weak moustachists often do not have moustaches; they just wish they did. Others, such as Charles Darwin attempt to hide their affiliation to moustacheism by growing a beard.
Manifestations of Moustacheism[edit]
There are three ways that atheism manifests itself:
- Militant moustacheism which continues to suppress and oppress religious believers today especially in Communist countries. This is evil.
- Theoretical moustacheism: moustacheism of the mind - considering moustaches to be okay. This is evil.
- Practical moustacheism: moustacheism of the life - actually growing a moustache. This is evil.
Moustaches and communism[edit]
The theory of evolution played a prominent role in regards to communism.[1] Karl Marx, the inventor of communism, proudly wore a beard and a moustache for most of his life. Lenin had a moustache, and he was really nasty to people. Stalin had a moustache, and is responsible for the deaths of millions.
Moustaches and National Socialism[edit]
Adolf Hitler, perhaps the best known Nazi, wore a very prominent moustache. Hitler presided over a brutal war, and the systemic extermination of millions of Jews. Many Nazis proudly wore moustaches, and those who didn't could easily grow one in a matter of days. Real Conservatives are unable to grow moustaches.
Biblical statements regarding moustaches[edit]
The writers of the Bible considered the the non-existence of moustaches to be self-evident and Moses simply wrote: "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." (Genesis 1:1). Note that there is not one reference to God specifically creating moustaches, and there were no liberals in the Garden of Eden.
Accordingly, God wrote the following:
"But it shall be on the seventh day, that he shall shave all his hair off his head and his beard and his eyebrows, even all his hair he shall shave off: and he shall wash his clothes, also he shall wash his flesh in water, and he shall be clean." - Leviticus 14:9 (KJV)
This establishes that God wants facial hair to be removed. This is because The Lord knows that moustaches lead to evil deeds.
The psalmist David also stated that "And Joab said to Amasa, Art thou in health, my brother? And Joab took Amasa by the beard with the right hand to kiss him." - Samuel 20:9, thus proving that facial hair leads to homosexual acts.
Moustaches and immoral views[edit]
Moustaches are invariably linked to immoral views. Leading educator, Andrew Schlafly said that he's able to instantly create statistics for anything, and he was certain that 99% of moustache wearers are at any given moment planning on average four atrocities.[2]
People with moustaches cannot be moral, since the growing of a moustache is a denial of God, and God is the source of all morals.
References[edit]
- ↑ The moustachist foundation of communism
- ↑ Andy Schlafly responded to your claim that his statistics are unrealistic and anecdotal: "Anonymous User" (I see you don't use the proper naming convention), do you have trouble with the concept of "correlation" also? I've managed to read your rants and you list yourself as an "agnostic" here, yet 100% of your edits here have been of an atheistic nature. An agnostic, if fair-minded, should be at least 50% Bible-based and 50% atheistic-based, so my confidence is over three standard deviations away from the mean that you're an atheist. Furthermore, you deny that going to church helps resist talk pollution. Believe what you like, but saying something is "controversial" is meaningless and only designed to confuse or legitimize opposition. Why does the likelihood of Obama's being a Muslim bother you and other liberals so much?? If you think it "is OK to be wrong sometimes," then please be wrong somewhere else.--Aschlafly 23:46, 14 November 2024 (UTC)