Fun:North Carolina

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Wheee, airplanez!
North Carolina: First in Flight, 48th in Education
—Sign seen in Family Guy[1]

North Carolina is one of the original thirteen British colonies that revolted and formed the United States in the late eighteenth century. They briefly tried to leave the Union about ninety years later, in an intramural disagreement over certain economic issues. But they was "fail".

Politics[edit]

Did you know that Panthers owner Jerry Richardson received a statue for his 80th birthday? Of course he did. For your grandpa’s 80th birthday, he received a 50% cut in Medicare benefits from Pat McCrory.

Although still a solidly conservative Southern state, NC demographics are shifting as more and more Yankees relocate there to escape the horrors of the Northern Winter. In 2008, it even went for Barack Obama! The Solid South is no more![2] However, they then did a complete 180 in 2010 and elected a Republican majority to the state legislature for the first time in 100 years, who have been busy defunding public education and loosening up concealed weapons laws, among other things. Polarization has risen between the solidly conservative rural regions and the Democratic strongholds in the Research Triangle, Appalachia, and Charlotte Metro.

North Carolina has a section of its constitution banning atheists from holding public office[3] but this appears unenforceable as it violates the United States Constitution, though the state has proven with the HB2 issue that they really don't give a shit about federal law. Atheist Cecil Bothwell has been elected to public office amid controversy. [4] [5]

Amendment 1[edit]

In May 2012, North Carolina passed Amendment 1 61-39, banning same-sex marriage.[6] This was overturned on October 10, 2014, when a federal court decision found the state's denial of marriage rights to same-sex couples unconstitutional. [7]

HB2[edit]

As North Carolina is temporally locked,[8] history regularly repeats itself there. Despite the defeat of Amendment 1, on the 23rd of March 2016, the North Carolina State Legislature signed House Bill 2 (HB2, which sounds like a cheezy designer drug), in response to the Charlotte City Council's so-called "bathroom bill", which allowed transgendered individuals to use the bathroom of their gender. HB2, which prohibits any individual using a bathroom which does not match their designated sex at birth, municipal minimum-wage changes, and (best of all) filing discrimination lawsuits in state court. This is a significant blow for the proletariat as well as to the trans and intersex community in the area. Even the privilieged cis scum who voted for it are feeling it, and now you apparently have to significantly LOOK like your gender to avoid discrimination;

Linda Hovensky, a 54-year-old resident of Charlotte, was tased multiple times by police officers as she was forced outside of the ladies washroom with her pants down and in front of a large crowd.[9]

Many people, corporate/social media entities and music industry puppets have taken up a boycott of the state, costing NC significant revenue as a result. HB2 has even provoked the wrath of--*gasp*--Beyoncé.[10] Shit just got real.

As with Amendment 1, US DOJ notified NC that HB2 is unconstitutional, rendering it unenforceable, and gave the state legislature five days to respond (a very generous amount of time considering they passed this call for cruel and unusual punishment in less than 10 hours). Then the Republican House Speaker, Tim Moore, of the NC General Assembly, effectively told the DOJ where to shove it.[11] [12] Cue Donald Trump inviting Tim Moore to his next rally.

And then the DOJ sued.[13]

Famous exports[edit]

(Some of these are not like the others.)

Nicknames[edit]

  • The Somewhat Less Racist, Slightly More Transphobic, Carolina.
  • If the Gerry-Mander Cartoon From 200 years Ago Was A State.

Footnotes[edit]