|Some dare call it|
|What THEY don't want|
you to know!
| Christ died so that we may|
write articles about
|A multi-chef broth|
|Devil's in the details|
|The pearly gates|
The homosexual agenda (sometimes gay agenda and not to be confused with the gay daily planner) is a metaphorical boogeyman created by the Religious Right in the United States. The agenda's slimy lavender appendages are trying to infiltrate and corrupt
all of our precious bodilfy fluids every facet of traditional American culture, most notably family values.
The prime purpose for the metaphor is to give the LGBT rights a shady, vicious and fictional purpose (usually rooted in anti-Christianity, anti-Islam and/or pro-communist conspiracies) and thus keep it dehumanized.
Those who believe in the homosexual agenda often cite Michael Swift's satirical essay, "Gay Revolutionary," as evidence for their views. In doing so, they generally omit the first line, which reads: "This essay is an outré, madness, a tragic, cruel fantasy, an eruption of inner rage, on how the oppressed desperately dream of being the oppressor."
Brokeback Mountain is also apparently a centerpiece of the agenda, being a clever propaganda piece by which Hollywood can brainwash unsuspecting red-blooded Americans into going along with the homosexual agenda!
 Exposing their fabulous plot
According to the Christian Post, the homosexual agenda consists of:
To others this might be known as "being treated like a human being" — the horror!
An earlier iteration of this conspiracy theory was referred to as "Homintern," a play on the Soviet Comintern. This theory posited that gays controlled the arts and media and used them for the purposes of propagandizing and recruitment. More recently, the term "Sexual Bolshevism" has been preferred by Metapedians, although this phrase has its history in Weimar Germany.
It is a little known fact that many homosexuals do have an agenda which is mainly geared toward them being treated with the same dignity and respect as everyone else. What greedy jerks.
 Stealing our rainbows!
“”Rainbow: Sign of the Covenant with Noe. Its 7 colors (from the top down: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet) recall the 7 Sacraments (7 is the sign of Covenant and completion). In St. John's vision of Heaven, a rainbow makes an appearance – over the head of the angel who gives John a book to eat (ch. 10), and surroudning [sic] the throne of God.
Everyone's favorite nutjob, Scott Lively, created a video trying to reclaim the rainbow as a Christian symbol, in a delightful little ditty, The Rainbow Belongs to God, which goes: "Who is the one that dares to defy God's covenant truth with lies?" Answer: The Gays™ and the gay agenda.
 A typical gay agenda
- 8:00am - Wake up.
- 8:30am - Go to
a sauna orgywork.
- 9:00am - Work.
- 12:30pm - Have
naughty fun through the company bathroom gloryholea sandwich at your desk, working through lunch.
- 1:30pm - Work.
- 5:00pm - A quick after-work
bowl of sex-enhancing methbite and a drink with your colleagues.
- 6:30pm - Get home and
swipe Grindr for more anonymous sexunwind for a bit.
- 7:00pm - Make dinner with your partner.
- 8:00pm - Eat
- 9:30pm - Watch
German fisting pornan episode of House of Cards.
- 11:00pm - Go to bed
with the intent to spread AIDS.
- Iowa House representative reveals the non-existence of the homosexual agenda!
- Barney Frank admits the agenda and codifies it!
- Lewis Black: Gay Banditos
- The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths
- The Gays are Coming: A Short History of Homophobic Documentaries
- LZ Granderson: The Myth of the Gay Agenda (TED Talk)
- The Homosexual Agenda Revealed! on Betty Bowers
- ↑ http://atheismwethinkmore.tumblr.com/post/115793613755
- ↑ Sometimes pro-Islam, when the fantasy is in the mind of a Christian fundamentalist, which only goes to show how delusional these ideas actually are.
- ↑ Michael Swift: "Gay Revolutionary", Fordham University
- ↑ Homosexual agenda pushed in movies like Brokeback Mountain!
- ↑ Understanding the Homosexual Agenda, The Christian Post (Singapore edition)
- ↑ The Homintern, New York Times
- ↑ Christian Symbols
- ↑ That's not even the craziest part, see the full video here, please!