Bronze-level articleJerry Falwell

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The horrid homosexual character pictured here is wanted by Jerry Falwell for leading children to rum, sodomy and the lash, with emphasis on "sodomy."
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Happy Dead Jerry Falwell Day!
—May 15
If you had given him an enema he could have been cremated in a matchbox.
Christopher Hitchens

Jerry Falwell was an obnoxious christofascist demagogue who spewed narrow-minded hatred at every chance, while presenting himself as a pretender to the homilies of one Jesus Christ (of course, Jesus is the Son of God, and God regularly kills or damns people who make him angry by using their freedoms and daring not to believe in a bunch of contradictory, questionably translated 2000-year-old desert scribblings supporting a cult religion made up by a bunch of heatstroke-ravaged barbarians in Iron Age Palestine, so Jesus might have agreed with him). He blamed homosexuals, neopagans, and feminists for the September 11 attacks. He is also known for claiming that children's TV character Tinky Winky was a homosexual (for being purple, wearing a tutu, and carrying a handbag).[1]

He died on May 15, 2007, proving that even God was tired of Jerry's claptrap[2]. The world moved on. As the creator of the Moral Majority, he seemed to take inspiration from Billy James Hargis's "Christian Crusade".

Falwell famously fought it out with Larry Flynt all the way to the Supreme Court over a spoof liquor ad in Hustler magazine in which Falwell talked about his first time with his mother in an outhouse. The Supreme Court ruled unanimously in favor of Hustler, establishing a free speech precedent of the right to parody public figures[3]. They later became friends (finding that they shared more in common than they realized, due to their similar Appalachian roots), and Flynt even wrote a touching column in memorial of Jerry Falwell after Falwell passed on.[4] Unusually for a leading televangelist, he avoided any scandals involving homosexuality, extramarital sex, or corruption.

Falwell's legacy is Liberty University. He rose to national prominence when, because of his racist views, his corporation...erm, "school" was not given tax breaks. This stemmed from the fact that he denied minorities the right to apply to his "school."

Beginning in 1970, Falwell terrorized children annually with his Halloween Hell House.

Falwell

The general impression among people who are not his enthusiastic supporters is that he was a worthless prick; however, it must be mentioned that he was not involved in the sex or financial scandals that was the downfall of many of his contemporaries.

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[edit] Footnotess

  1. 'Gay Tinky Winky bad for children' at BBC news
  2. That, or God liked him so much that He couldn't wait until the rapture to get him. Or God hates loves all the other people because He doesn't want Falwell to preach to them anymore.
  3. http://www.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/historics/USSC_CR_0485_0046_ZO.html
  4. http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-op-flynt20may20,0,2297247.story?coll=la-opinion-center


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