Joe the Plumber
Joe the Plumber (R-Ohio) (a/k/a Samuel Wurzelbacher)
is the brains behind the Republican Party is neither a real plumber nor does he have a real job, other than trailing Sarah Palin around like a puppy.
 Great Republican tradition
He may have caused John McCain to lose the 2008 U.S. Presidential Election due to widespread fears that Mr. the Plumber would be appointed Secretary of Labor, causing the stock market to go higgledy-piggledy.
In the other great Republican traditions of mindless stupidity and historical revisionism, a campaign ad made for his bid for Congress blames gun control for the Holocaust, the Armenian Genocide, and slavery. His campaign manager opines that Joe is "a student of history".
 Career success
He was allegedly going to start a career as a country music singer (failed to record a successful album), a writer (failed to gain an advance), a foreign war correspondent (failed miserably in putting together a halfway decent report), a conservative cause spokesman (failure still pending), and run for Congress in 2010 (failed after God said "aw hell no").
 Political ambitions
Stop the presses!!! Joe the Plumber left the reservation in May 2009 and decided he didn't like the GOP after all. A long career in the Constitution Party awaits, perhaps? Joe the Plumber, on 16 February 2010, after his 15 minutes of fame had for the time being passed him by, said "He [John McCain] really screwed my life up."
Stop the presses again!!! As of October 2011, he began a run for the House as a Republican. Despite a record that is less than truthful, nobody will have to guess where where he stands. Marcy Kaptur was his Democratic opponent and she defeated him decisively. 
 Career advice
Perhaps Joey could consider going to community college or whatever and studying to get a plumbing license so he can become a proper legal plumber. After all plumbing is the one job he's done with a modicum of success.
 See also
- Bill the Cat
- Billy the Kid
- Bob the Builder
- John the Baptist
- Kermit the Frog
- Larry the Cable Guy
- Mike the Headless Chicken
- Rosie the Riveter
- Sonic the Hedgehog
- Thomas the Tank Engine
- Malekith the Accursed
- ↑ "Higgledy-piggledy" means "a real mess."
- ↑ Brad DeLong. "When Reactionary Goldbug Austrian Plumber-Economists Attack!!" Brad DeLong blog. 2008 December 3.
- ↑ Mary Ann Akers. "Joe the Plumber Wants to Make Love to Washington." The Sleuth. The Washington Post. 2009 March 20.
- ↑ Melissa McEwan. "Poor Joe the Plumber Looks Lonely at His Own Book Signing." AlterNet. 2009 February 27.
- ↑ 
- ↑ Michael Winter. "Joe the Plumber: God told me not to run for office." USA Today. 2009 July 01.
- ↑ Eric Kleefeld. "Joe The Plumber: Quitting The GOP?" Talking Points Memo. 2009 May 11.
- ↑ Richard Adams. "Joe the Plumber dumps on John McCain and Sarah Palin." The Guardian. 2010 February 16.
- ↑ Brian Browdie. Joe the Plumber confident he can beat Marcy Kaptur in Ohio congressional race." New York Daily News. 2011 October 27.
- ↑ AmericanUnity. "Meet Joe the Plumber." The Drudge Report. 2008 October 16.
- ↑ "Samuel Wurzelbacher for Congress." Joe For Congress 2012. accessed 2012 April 19.
- ↑ Marcy Kaptur coasts to win in 9th District congressional race