Kansas is a monolithic rectangular state somewhere at the point of no return in the midwestern United States. It sits at the western edge of the Bible Belt, and shows no signs of breaking free. It is tilted gently uphill from Missouri, to Colorado on the other side, and is (literally) flatter than a pancake (with the exception of a string of small mounds known as the "Flint Hills" in the eastern half of the state). Don't expect any miracles out of nowhere in this relentless paradox of a state, because nobody's home and there is no room for a stranger. Don't open your eyes because there is a lot of dust in the wind. Just... don't go there.
Kansas is also a band that helped cause punk rock.
One has to give props to Kansas for volunteering to be the guinea pig for starve-the-beast conservatism. Brownback's March to Zero is pushing Kansas closer and closer to insolvency while at the same time yanking investment in their future workforce. Two-thirds of their state budget is taken up by K-12 and public college education. In 10 years they're going to see the results of creating a generation of dumbed-down hamburger flippers.
- At least there's Lawrence.
- "Is there anybody out there? Anybody at all?" -John Lithgow as "Joe Huxley" in the 1983 apocalyptic movie The Day After.
- There's nothing in Kansas.
- There are two Kansas Cities, right next to each other - Kansas City, Missouri (the bigger one where all the sports teams are) and Kansas City, Kansas (the smaller one)
- "There used to be a lot of Tatanka, but the pale man killed them all." -Chief Shitting Bull, Sioux Nation.
- Committing suicide in Kansas is redundant
 Famous Kansas-y things
- "Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore" ... "woof, woof!"
- Evo-lution is bad, m'kay. (Well, it doesn't seem to have taken hold around here anyway.)
- Liberals are all longhaired hippies who dodged the draft. Yes, they still talk about that.
- "Bleeding Kansas".
- Oh! There is a band named "Kansas", responsible for the hit songs Dust in the Wind and Carry on Wayward Son!
- William S. Burroughs (Holy goat, whodathunkit?)
- Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church: the most hated family in the world
- Does Bob Dole count as famous?
- Sam Brownback — screwing the state over as governor since 2011 with unrelenting supply side economics.
- One surfer
 See also
Articles about States of the United States
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|Other:||Bible Belt • Jesusland • Washington, D.C. • Weird states •|