Kim Il Sung
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Kim Il "Crazypants" Sung, originally Kim Sŏng-ju (15 April 1912 – 8 July 1994) is the great military leader who single-handedly conquered the Japanese with his bare hands the dead leader of North Korea and the inventor of the "Juche" ideology, a bizarre variant on Stalinism that borders on unintentional self-parody, including declaring Kim-il Sung to be "Eternal President" of North Korea.
According to official North Korean mythology, Kim Il Sung, the "Great Leader," is immortal, arose from the grave to be with us forever, and lives in the hearts of every Korean, who all bubble over with intense love and adoration toward Him, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. According to everyone else, he was a failed guerrilla leader who spent much of WWII unsuccessfully attempting to free Korea from the iron fist of the Japanese so it could be seized by the iron fist of Kim Il Sung instead. He eventually gave up and fled to Siberia, where he remained until the Soviet Union selected him to lead their newly organized North Korean puppet government. At the time, he had not actually lived in Korea for 26 years, and had not been involved in the country's politics or the resistance against the Japanese for at least five years. His primary historical accomplishment involved starting a war of conquest that was so poorly planned and executed that it resulted in his enemies crossing North Korea's southern border, conquering its entire territory, and then crossing the country's northern border to focus on bigger, more important threats. But, of course, you would be foolish to believe these imperialist lies.
According to Juche philosophy, Kim Il Sung was not Stalinist and this was just anti-communist propaganda performed by USA and pro-capitalist mass media, like CNN, Fox, Disney, Microsoft, and Wikipedia, but actually Kim Il Sung had based upon the Juche Idea copy-pasting some concepts extracted from Trotsky and his Permanent Revolution theory, and also added to this some philosophical concepts extracted from Lao-Tse and his Taoism.
[edit] See also
- Kim Jong-il, his batshit crazy son
- Kim Jong-un, his even crazier grandson