|You gotta spin it to win it|
|Stop the presses!|
|We want pictures|
“”I personally object to Mallard Fillmore, not because it is often offensive, or that it relies on tired, sophomoric stereotypes, or that I disagree with its politics, but because it just isn’t funny. Tinsley couldn’t punch (line) his way out of a wet paper bag. If it weren’t for a self-imposed “fairness doctrine” approach adopted by editors to appeas [sic] conservatives, the only place you’d see MF is in Murdoch papers.
|—Comment from Philip Taterczynski|
Mallard Fillmore is a syndicated comic strip written and drawn by Bruce Tinsley. The strip revolves around the title character, a conservative duck-cum-news anchorman. The strip tries to position itself as a conservative alternative to other political comics such as Doonesbury, but is totally lacking in even the latter strip's comic insight or subtlety. It is to the comics page what George W. Bush was to the Presidency: devoid of (intentional) comedy, plot, and sometimes even art.
For those not conversant with American history, Millard Fillmore was a Whig and the 13th president of the United States (1850-1853). So using a clever play on words, Millard becomes Mallard—the common wild duck.
Imagine any conservative talking point produced in a rectangular strip format. You now have Mallard Fillmore! The strip is known for lazy artwork, truly baffling caricatures, and poor or inaccurate sourcing.
Unlike most political cartoons, Mallard Fillmore has a standard three to five week lead time. As a result, Tinsley frequently addresses political controversies that have already passed and been forgotten. An example of this was a controversial comment made by John Kerry on October 30, 2006 not being addressed by Tinsley until November 20 of the same year.
While Tinsley flogs multiple wingnut positions ranging from global warming denialism to taxes his most consistent running theme is the massive persecution complex he feels from "PC" liberals who supposedly suppress conservatives virtually everywhere. This is massively ironic since it's largely accepted that the only reason editors even run Mallard Filmore is to keep conservatives happy who were complaining when the only political cartoon running in most papers was the more liberal Doonesbury.
The main characters in the Mallard Fillmore universe are listed at the comic's page over at King Features.
- Mallard Fillmore
- The eponymous Mallard is Tinsley's anatinaean self-insert mouthpiece. He is a TV junkie who lives in squalor, routinely threatens his co-workers and has a disturbing fixation with pre-teen girls. Given that he's supposed to be the sympathetic character, you can imagine how grim the rest of the cast can be.
- Mr. Noseworthy
- Mallard's boss at the TV station. Noseworthy is a somewhat dorky liberal with a prominent nose and frizzy hair who controls the media. Just sayin'. This impression of Jews controlling the media is more apparent in a strip published in 2005 in which the TV executive is only slightly less stereotypically Jewish than the Jewish characters portrayed in the cartoons from the Egyptian press. The alleged anti-semitic undertones of such characters pale in comparison to the problem that Tinsley's work just isn't very clever or funny.
- One of Mallard's co-workers, she is inexplicably attracted to Mallard in spite of the fact that he regularly berates her.
- Another of Mallard's co-workers, an anchor with an absurdly large chin. Tinsley uses Chet when his other liberal strawmen are simply too subtle.
- A hapless office drone and punching bag for Mallard (and, by extension, Tinsley). He is used to illustrate the pettiest of Tinsley's pet peeves.
- Dave and Rush
- A Vietnamese immigrant and his son who both agree with Mallard on everything.
 Oops! I forgot to tell a joke!
A parody of Mallard Fillmore appeared in the media section of America (The Book). Nine months after the release of the book, Tinsley finally realized that he was being mocked. He responded with a series of strips in which he claimed that the book was trying to convince people that the parody strip was real, concluding with a strip in which he joked about Jon Stewart being a pedophile. Tinsley was criticized for his depiction of Stewart with the traditional exaggerated Jewish nose, described by Stephen Colbert as being "clip art from The Protocols of the Elders of Zion." Tinsley responded during a subsequent interview that he'd been unaware of Stewart's Jewish heritage, and curiously enough, felt the need to criticise Stewart for changing his name from Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz.
 See also
- Ted Rall, Tinsley's nearest equivalent on the left.
- The Far Left Side, demonstrating that delusions of adequacy know no political bounds
- An RW editor ripped Tinsley's "footnotes" a new one on his little website back in 2006
- Today's strip, from the Seattle Pi
- Duck and Cover - Daily mockery of Tinsley's opus
- Mallard fillmore with funny.
- ↑ http://dailycartoonist.com/index.php/2009/11/19/mallard-fillmore-protested-at-newsday/
- ↑ a party that mostly disintegrated when trying to grapple with the issue of slavery
- ↑ Who used to be rather unknown outside of history geek circles but is now "famous for being obscure" and as such most Americans can place his name, though few can name any of his policies or decisions during his administration
- ↑ Believe it or not, that's supposed to be Michelle Obama
- ↑ Fillmore footnotes - Human checks Tinsley's supposed sources
- ↑ John Kerry suggests that students who do badly in school will end-up being shipped to Iraq
- ↑ The Jews control the media
- ↑ The character "Chet" is a good example of the "penis chin", a Tinsley signature
- ↑ Which really speaks to the intelligence of his readers
- ↑ The Interview: 'Mallard Fillmore' Creator Bruce Tinsley