Margaret Thatcher
“”Although not a direct insult, Margaret Thatcher is used as a yardstick to test public hatred for politicians. Although Tony Blair has tried hard in his ten years as Prime Minister he will be devastated to leave office without even 50% of the villification Maggie achieved. 'Mrs. Thatcher the Milk Snatcher', 'Maggie' or 'Crazy Old Bitch' as she was affectionately known, steered the UK through important and necessary structural economic changes to ensure the competitiveness of Britain's economy.
She did this in the most despicably mean-spirited and evil manner, by forcing hardship and unemployment upon millions of people, removing role models and providing a whole generation with a substandard education. This is conclusive evidence of sexual equality as she proved a feminine ability to be more ruthless than the most evil men. |
| —Urban Dictionary[1] |
Margaret Thatcher was a conservative Prime Minister of the United Kingdom during the 80's. She is known for being the first, and so far only, female Prime Minister.
In many ways, Thatcher was the British equivalent of Saint Ronnie. While Reagan reaffirmed American hegemony over Grenada, she kept the Union Jack fluttering happily over a flock of penguins the strategically vital what in fortunate hindsight turned out to be potentially oil-rich[2] the otherwise completely obscure Falkland Islands. Upon her death, the entire British left united for a street party not seen since before the miners' strike of 1984–1985.
Contents |
[edit] Economics
Thatcher used an economic system called monetarism during her time in government, which many people thought would be a good idea. It certainly was successful, if her goal was to nuke the working class[3] and destroy British industry. Unfortunately, Thatcher herself couldn't see what the fuck she was doing to everything and everyone, leading to the introduction of the poll tax. However, the poll tax was a brilliant idea as it led to Thatcher's downfall.
Thatcher's economic ideas (like those of Saint Ronnie) caused a marked rise in unemployment,[4] along with budget deficits (later hugely overshadowed), and a trade deficit. On the other hand, she did succeed in reducing inflation from nearly 17% to about 5%, while helping to stabilize GDP growth at about 5% growth a year.[5] She is also largely to credit (or blame, depending on your ideology) for the UK's transition from an industrial to a service economy; economists are largely (but not completely) in agreement that a service-based economy is better then an industrial one.
The overall picture of her economic policy can best be described as "murky". Perhaps her most devastating long-term legacy was the Big Bang,[wp] which she pawned off to New Labour and (to the name's credit) blew up in everyone's faces in 2007.
[edit] MRSA Outbreak in the NHS
In 1990 the internal market was introduced by the Thatcher government. This meant that hospitals could send their patients to other hospitals, often hundreds of miles away, to obtain cheaper treatment for the patients.
However, this backfired big-time for Ol' Maggie. A patient was sent from Kettering General Hospital, Northamptonshire, to a hospital in London. This patient had been tested for and was positive with methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA). Subsequently many patients in the London hospital contracted MRSA; they were then moved out of the London hospital to other hospitals with the result that further patients were infected with MRSA. The spread of MRSA was assisted by poor hospital hygiene, which had declined as a direct result of the Thatcher government's policy of contracting out (or 'outsourcing') hospital cleaning services to private companies. The private companies were happy to take the NHS contract money, but provided sub-standard services in return.
[edit] Neo-colonial offspring
In 1982 Mark Thatcher, the only son of Margaret and Denis Thatcher, competed in the Paris-Dakar Rally with minimal preparation. He and his support team (co-driver, Charlotte Verney, and their mechanic) ended up getting lost in the Sahara Desert for six days, resulting in a full-blown and highly embarrassing international rescue mission being launched. They were eventually found in the desert, 50 km from where they should have been, by an Algerian military plane. It was not the last time that he would manage to knock Mumsy off the front pages of the UK's newspapers.
The Saudi Arabian Government felt unable to place the multi-billion pound Al Yamama arms deal with Britain without going through a consultancy firm consisting of Mark Thatcher and an old school chum. "Working" for a small percentage, this resulted in a £30 million fee for Mark Thatcher's legendary -- if not mythical -- business skills, which principally consisted of being the Prime Minister's son.
In 2005 he plead guilty to his part in financing an attempted coup d'état in Equatorial Guinea. While, of course, a grateful nation can only applaud the ageing playboy's single-handed effort to restore the British Empire, for some reason the residents of South Africa and Guinea itself took a rather dimmer view. Thatcher was sentenced to a five-year custodial sentence (suspended) and ordered to pay a half-million US dollar fine.
Carol Thatcher is the daughter of Margaret Thatcher. She is supposedly a journalist, but there is very little evidence of this in the UK press. She's been known to take the (gentle) piss out of her mama, allegedly. She has also been employed as a radio presenter despite having an obvious speech impediment.
[edit] Random collection of titbits
[edit] Milk Snatcher
As Minister for Education (1970-74) she stopped the free issue of milk to schoolchildren aged seven and over. This led to the often heard chant: "Margaret Thatcher, Milk Snatcher."
[edit] Cuddling up with Rupie
The Thatcher era sparked the 30-year domination of the British media by News International. It was, by all means, a success.
[edit] Living in the past
It turns out when East and West Germany were going to be reunited, Thatcher told the Soviet government to stop it.[6]
[edit] Not only living in the past, but supporting white supremacy
Until it was clear that Nelson Mandela would become President of South Africa, Thatcher tried in her full power to prevent the end of apartheid, calling the ANC a "typical terrorist organisation."[7]
[edit] Alzheimer's
In 2008 her daughter Carol revealed that Baroness Thatcher had been suffering from Alzheimer's disease for up to eight years.[8]
[edit] Quotes
“”I always bat for Britain.
|
| —Margaret Thatcher after securing a lucrative business contract for her own family. |
“”Don't worry about the Germans beating us at our national sport. We beat them at theirs twice in the twentieth century.
|
| —After Germany beat England in the World Cup |
“”The Mummy Returns!
|
| —After her terrifying, undead corpse was resurrected for a Conservative general election rally in 2001. |
[edit] Is Thatcher dead yet?
Thatcher was so hated that, years before her demise, an online deathwatch titled "Is Thatcher Dead Yet?" was created so that people could learn immediately of her death. On April 8 2013, the website finally updated.[9] News of her demise was marked by, among other things, several street parties in celebration,[10] as well as a general outpouring of frothing hatred on Twitter, with #nowthatchersdead (leading some of Cher's detractors to mistakenly rejoice) and #nostatefuneral trending within an hour after her death was announced, and going strong throughout the day.
One interesting side-effect of her death was the revival of the song "Ding, Dong! The Witch Is Dead" (from 1939's The Wizard of Oz), which climbed into the top 5 of UK charts within days of her death.[11]
[edit] External links
[edit] Footnotes
- ↑ Urban Dictionary
- ↑ "Oil billions beckon Falkland Islands," BBC News, April 19 2007.
- ↑ UK inequality fastest rise of OECD countries - OECD, Reuters
- ↑ The overall unemployment rate during Thatcher's tenure increased from 5 to 6% with a peak of nearly 12%
- ↑ All of these stats, and explanations of them, can be found in Mishkin's Macroeconomics: Policy and Practice
- ↑ Thatcher told Gorbachev Britain did not want German unification
- ↑ Nelson Mandela and Margaret Thatcher: the meeting that never was, The Grauniad
- ↑ Alzheimers Notes: Margaret Thatcher and Alzheimers disease
- ↑ http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/breaking-former-prime-minister-margaret-thatcher-has-died-following-a-stroke-8564521.html
- ↑ Margaret Thatcher's death greeted with street parties in Brixton and Glasgow
- ↑ 'Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead' closer to number one spot as it reaches top five following Margaret Thatcher's death