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Fun:Mead

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Mead is one of the most glorious substances, proof positive that any gods must be benevolent, or at least that demons are not all evil. It has even entered into some mythologies, most notably the Norse, where the goat Heidrun serves the gods and einherjar with ever-flowing mead, instead of just goat's milk.

In reality, it is the end product of taking one of the sweetest substances in creation (honey), water, yeast, and converting it into holy alcohol by process of fermentation. Due to the wide variety of additives and yeast choices, mead is categorized by ingredients and gravity (dry or sweet) after fermentation is complete.

Those who Refuse[edit]

However, there are some misguided fools who refuse to consume this holy brew. Some conservative Christians refuse to consume any kind of alcohol, despite the story in the Bible that Jesus himself did so. Muslims are forbidden from drinking alcohol on earth (or at least wine, depending on one's interpretation of the Quran), though they will be allowed to do so in paradise (and how!).[1] Extreme vegetarians (vegans), on the other hand, take issue with any use of honey,[2] as it is "stolen" from bees. They clearly misunderstand the divine nature of these gifts, and are unaware that honeybees produce way more honey than they themselves can use (and that it's therefore our duty to help them with the excess!).

Mead is not to be used in conjunction with kool aid, for it may possibly lead to unwanted results. However, it goes well with many goat dishes. It is also not meant to be confused with beer, as many unknowing low-fantasy authors do. (If your fantasy novel features nomadic barbarians guzzling mead at every opportunity, ask them how they carry around the beehives. Or who they stole it from.)

Quick and easy orange mead[edit]

All you need is an empty 2-litre/4-pint plastic milk bottle, 2 jars of honey, 1 sachet of bread machine yeast, 1 orange, a handful of dried fruit, some warm water and a balloon.[3]

If you're determined to try and make mead "right" rather than "quick", you might need to read the RationalWiki article Recipe:How to make Mead.

Footnotes[edit]

  1. http://www.guidedones.com/metapage/frq/islamicpar.htm
  2. http://www.vegetus.org/honey/honey.htm
  3. http://amazingmead.wordpress.com/2012/07/09/quick-n-easy-orange-mead/