Megachurch
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“”‘When two or three are gathered together in my name.’ Not just one. But not a hundred either. Two or three.
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| —Simone Weil |
A megachurch is a money-sucking device invented for the purpose of getting Baby Boomers, Generation Xers, and upscale families in the exurbs and suburbs back into church, creating a ready-made Republican Party voting bloc, and, of course, making its owners mighty rich.
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[edit] Gimmicks
Megachurches use a lot of gimmicks to attract people (especially young people and Gen-X types): rock music in the service, Christian motorcycle clubs, skateboarder ministries, "spiritual warfare", etc. Megachurches have chucked out the old hymns and sing a lot of repetitive "praise and worship" choruses. They are known for huge buildings with plush carpeted auditoriums, Jumbotrons, and modern sound systems, and incorporate bookstores, snack bars, fitness centers, schools, day cares, parking lots the size of several football fields (gotta love that suburban sprawl), and the kitchen sink. Many of them follow either evangelical or Pentecostal beliefs, and their politics and social views lean towards the conservative/fundamentalist end of the spectrum. Some of them are associated with a prominent televangelist or (chiefly before the '70s) radio preacher.
[edit] Church placement
Generally, people are born into a church, they are baptized (if their church does youth baptism), they go to Sunday school, they take lessons in their church's catechism, and they are confirmed as a teenager (or baptized, if their church believes strictly in adult baptism). Or, if they convert as adults, they will take catechism instruction and then be baptized.
By contrast, joining a megachurch can be more like a job interview. Instead of catechism instruction, the prospective megachurch member may be put through a rigorous series of classes to determine what "spiritual gifts" (read: skills the church can exploit for $$$) the prospective member has, at which point they are assigned to such groups as the skateboarders' ministry or the "Gearheads for God" assembly.[1]