Silverbrain.pngMichele Bachmann

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We have checked [Michele Bachmann] 13 times, and seven of her claims [have been found] to be false and six have been found to be ridiculously false ... She is unusual in that regard that she has never gotten a rating higher than false.

—Bill Adair, PolitiFact.com[1]

[Michele] Bachmann is a religious zealot whose brain is a raging electrical storm of divine visions and paranoid delusions... Bachmann is exactly the right kind of completely batshit crazy... crazy in the sense that she's living completely inside her own mind, frenetically pacing the hallways of a vast sand castle she's built in there, unable to meaningfully communicate with the human beings on the other side of the moat, who are all presumed to be enemies.[2]

—Matt Taibbi

Bachmann, prowling the back alleys of Capitol Hill.

Michele Bachmann (née Amble) is a psychotic Republican Congresswoman from Minnesota's 6th Congressional District who enjoyed a brief tenure as the religious right's pin-up girl following the implosions of Sarah Palin and Christine O'Donnell.

In 1978, she married Marcus Bachmann, whom she had met while they were undergraduates in college. They decided to marry under orders from a vision that she, Marcus, and a college friend simultaneously had.[3]

She ran for President in 2012[4][5][6] and briefly led the polls in Iowa, where she lived as a girl. On August 13th, she won the Ames Straw Poll, narrowly beating Ron Paul and showcasing her strength in the first caucus state.[7] For a while, some Americans thought that she could beat Mitt Romney to the Republican nomination.[8] She dropped out after a dismal showing in the Iowa caucus.[9]

Contents

[edit] Political positions

Guide to:

U.S. Politics

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Persons of interest

Despite her relatively short political career, Bachmann has established herself as a unique brand in American politics, mostly due to her scary ability to immediately occupy an utterly extremist position on any given issue.

[edit] Religion

Bachmann is a dyed-in-the-wool fundamentalist who frequently claims that she's acting on direct orders from god himself. She got her law degree from a tiny Christian university that specializes in teaching "the law from a biblical worldview" and would like its students to become "change agents" for bringing the law in line with Christian morality. She worked as a research assistant for notable dominionist John Eidsmoe and helped him produce a book that argued for turning the United States into a theocracy.[1]

[edit] Health care

Bachmann and other Republicans have been praying for the failure of Obama's health care reform, and she is fighting in practical ways to try and get it repealed.[2] Americans on the Religious right teach that denying health care to impoverished sick people is doing the will of sweet Jesus, though Christians outside the United States may struggle to understand that doctrine. It might also be connected to the fact that high-income-earners who don't want to pay taxes are the backbone of the Republican party. In addition, she has also jumped on Rick Perry for permitting mandatory vaccinations against HPV. [3]

[edit] Taxes and Government

Interestingly, Bachmann used to be an attorney in the Justice Department's tax division (representing the IRS) for several years - in other words, one of the people most of her current Tea Party fans would probably consider evil incarnate. Nowadays, she compares taxation to slavery. Like any good Republican, she's also in favor of minimal government intrusion into citizens' lives (unless it is for a noble cause like correcting people's deviant sexual behaviour, of course).[4] Despite her free-market stance and opposition to federal assistance to, well, anybody, she has banked over $250,000 in farm subsidies.[5][6] A counseling agency that she runs together with her husband also received $27,000 in state funds since 2007 for the treatment of low-income patients.[7] Since the agency in question is overtly Christian,[8] it is questionable whether they separate their professional care from proselytizing. Marcus Bachmann is on record saying one should not ask confused people how they feel, but rather employ fundamentalist Christianity as a guiding principle and “call sin ‘sin’”. He'd also have parents exorcise their kids' gayness through "discipline".[9] Still, it's nice to know Bachmann doesn't have to look too far for someone who specializes in mental health issues.

[edit] Homosexuality

Bachmann seems to believe in a homosexual agenda to target and encourage young children to be gay, and thinks the Lion King is part of that conspiracy.[10] She thinks her lesbian step-sister’s lifestyle is part of Satan.[11][12] Fighting same-sex marriage has been her top legislative priority, both in the Minnesota State Senate and the House of Representatives. Notably, she campaigned to amend the Minnesota constitution to outlaw same-sex marriage[13] - despite the fact that the state had already passed a law prohibiting it. She does all that on the very best authority because God told her personally that he does not like gays. When a group of gay rights activists held a rally against her plan in front of the State Capitol, she took in on herself to spy on them, hiding behind some bushes.[14] In a 2005 incident, a couple of lesbians attempted to talk to her in the bathroom after a campaign event and the police were called in after Bachmann screamed that she was "being held against my will."[15] Her husband claims that his counseling clinic, Bachmann & Associates, can cure gayness, while publicly denying that it engages in "reparative therapy."[16]

[edit] Historical scholarship

Bachmann is often known for putting a new spin on historical events:

[edit] Everything else

Bachmann first rose to nationwide prominence in the run-up to the 2008 election, when she called on the media to take up Joe McCarthy's work of investigating "anti-American" leanings among candidates. She has also announced that she refuses to fill out 2010 census forms for her family, and has encouraged her supporters to likewise refuse, too.[22] The fact that this might result in Minnesota being undercounted and thus maybe losing a seat or two in Congress has not occurred to her, but has occurred to some others in the GOP.[23] Her "reasoning" is that the Census will be used to set up the FEMA concentration camps everyone knows are coming in 2011. All of this despite the fact that a Census is specifically called for in the sacred text...err, the other sacred text. In Minnesota, she prevented preschool education despite scientific evidence that it works; apparently, teaching children the Bible and Christian values is more important than getting them a start in life that reduces crime and drug abuse, improves overall educational achievement and earnings.[24]

[edit] Batshit crazy quotes

Still hungry for more? Check out ThinkProgress' list of the ten nuttiest things she's ever said.

[edit] Possibly Worse More Dangerous than Batshit

[edit] See also

[edit] External links

[edit] Footnotes

  1. Daily Beast: Bachmann's Unrivaled Extremism
  2. http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2011/jul/4/bachmanns-pledge-quandary/
  3. CBS: "Bachman blasts Perry for HPV vaccine mandate, calls it "government injection"
  4. Rolling Stone: Michele Bachmann's Holy War
  5. Teabagger Queen Michele Bachmann Cashed In On $250,000 In Welfare
  6. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/republicans/8599673/Michele-Bachmann-closes-gap-on-Mitt-Romney.html
  7. Blog: religionclause
  8. Mission statement: "Bachmann & associates believes in providing all clients with quality Christian counseling ..." Website
  9. Marcus Bachmann Talks About Homosexuality
  10. The Bachmann Record: Revealing quotes
  11. Michelle Bachman's lesbian sister
  12. Bachmann described her lesbian step-sister as leading “a very sad life” that’s “part of Satan”
  13. Michele Bachmann Says Anti-Gay Marriage Amendment Was Answer From God
  14. Minnesota Post: Michele Bachmann's memorable moments
  15. Bachmann's Unrivaled Extremism, Michelle Goldberg
  16. John M. Becker in Truth Wins Out I Received ‘Ex-Gay’ Therapy at Marcus Bachmann’s Clinic
  17. [1]
  18. [2]
  19. Hoot-Smalley
  20. Bachmann mangles Revolutionary history
  21. Bachmann says Americans Worried About "Rise of the Soviet Union", CBS
  22. Rep. Bachmann Refuses To Fill Out 2010 Census
  23. To quote: "D'oh!!"
  24. http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/06/10/984140/-The-Education-Theocracy-of-Michele-Bachmann-haunts-Minnesota-to-this-day
  25. Think Progress - Bachmann: We should ‘make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers’ against health care reform.
  26. Crooks and Liars - Michelle Bachman is one crazy person.
  27. Chicago Sun-Times - Rep. Michele Bachmann tells Chris Matthews on "Hardball" media should probe Congress for "anti-America" views. Transcript.
  28. StarTribune - Bachmann calls for 'covenant' to defeat health care overhaul.
  29. Bachmann: The one who created this lei also created our freedom" Does she mean that Paradise Flower Farms is responsible for our freedoms?
  30. Think Progress - Bachmann’s Plan: To Deal With Debt, We Must ‘Wean Everybody’ Off Social Security, Medicare
  31. Bachmann warns of abortion in schools
  32. http://www.cnn.com/2011/POLITICS/01/25/sotu.response.bachmann/
  33. http://stfubachmann.tumblr.com/
  34. In an interview with Greta Van Susteren after significant drops in the polls; contains a list of gaffes. 'I haven't had a gaffe', Bachmann insists on RawStory
  35. Alex Seitz-Wald. "Bachmann: Teaching Only Evolution Is ‘Censorship’." ThinkProgress.org November 30, 2011.
  36. YouTube video of Bachmann's House speech on Earth Day 2009
  37. Bachmann May Have Leaked Classified Information During GOP Debate on the continuation of federal aid to Pakistan, on RawStory
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