New Hampshire
New Hampshire, also known as "New Hampsha'" or "Cow Hampshire", is one of the original thirteen British colonies to throw off the yoke of government and form the United States. It was the ninth state to ratify the Constitution, making it binding. Seen by many as the Eli Manning to Vermont's Peyton Manning.
The capital is Concord, which (like its namesake in Massachusetts to the south) is pronounced "conquered". The largest city is Manchester, which is known as "ManchVegas" to the locals for reasons no one really knows. The only part that counts[1] is the city of Nashua, a popular shopping destination for Bay Staters who don't want to pay sales tax. Libertarian stronghold, or at least as close as there is going to be to having one.
The proportion of New Hampshire people without strong religious beliefs is higher than in the United States generally. [2]
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[edit] Government, or not
New Hampshire has no broad-based state taxes (income, sales, etc.), and rakes in most of its cash from tourists via a "rooms and meals" tax. The state only does two things - build roads and sell booze - and it does them both very well.
Since there are no real taxes levied directly by the state, the individual towns are forced to foist onerous property taxes on their inhabitants in order to pay for schools.
[edit] Libertarian takeover
Approximately 505 libertarians have moved to New Hampshire in the past few years as part of the Free State Project[3] trying to make New Hampshire a free state by all moving there en masse. Meanwhile, the state's population grew during the same period by 52,000, of whom 51,495 were not related to the Free State Project. This means the new 505 Libertarian voters are offset by 51,495 new non-Libertarian voters, a ratio of about 102 to 1.
[edit] Tourism
The state is a four-season tourist trap, with a strong ski industry, and several annual events of note, including "Bike Week" centered around the speedway in Loudon,[4] and "Fall", when all the leaves turn pretty colors for a few weeks.
[edit] Who cares?
- The "Old Man of the Mountain", the state's ubiquitous symbol, fell down. (He should have gotten Life Alert.)
- Live Free or Die ("oh lord, tell me why" - Bill Morrissey)
- "New Hampshire: Ain't Quaint" (a proposed slogan...)
- Drivers are not required to wear seat belts and motorcyclists are not required to wear helmets; "Darwin Awards" wholesale outlets are located on all major highways.
- Our very own nuclear power plant; the highest electricity prices in the nation.
- "First in the nation" Presidential primary tests candidates' and press teams' resistance to pneumonia.
- Yet another misspelled early settlement: Strawbery Banke (now a "living museum").
[edit] Notable New Hampshirites
- P.J. O'Rourke — writer
- E.E. Cummings- Poet
- Robert Frost- Poet
- Dan Brown- fiction writer and pseudohistorian
- Christa McAuliffe — first teacher in space (er, not to be morbid here, but...)
- Adam Sandler — shitty actor
- Seth Meyers- comedian
- Ken Burns- historian
- Steven Tyler- Aerosmith front man, though the massholes take all the credit
- John Sununu- 2 of them, one a chickenhawk ex senator, the other a vaguely racist ex governor/chief of staff under George H.W. Bush
- Tom Rush — folk singer
- Gene Robinson — openly gay bishop
- Josiah "Jed" Bartlett — brilliant, though fictional, President of the United States
- Sarah Silverman - comedienne
- The entire congressional caucus as of January 2013 - every one a woman, a first for any state.
- Franklin Pierce - 14th US President.
- Carlton Fisk-used the force to guide a baseball into fair territory for the Sawx
[edit] Footnotes
- ↑ Or at least that's what us Massholes think -- we're probably wrong about that.
- ↑ Poll: Mississippi most religious; Vt., N.H. least
- ↑ http://www.freestateproject.org/, see also a feature on NPR
- ↑ It should be noted that New Hampshire is one of about 30 states with no law requiring motorcyclists to wear protective headgear, so part of the enticement is that they can let their fair locks fly free in the wind as they enjoy the picturesque sights and ornery locals.
