Newt Gingrich
Newton Leroy "Newt" "Moon Base" Gingrich (Originally pronounced "Gingri'k,"[1] now pronounced Ging-rich) is a well-known American politician and paragon of family values, as well as the only living amphibian to have ever served in Congress. Well, when he's not on the lookout for the next former Mrs. Gingrich. He is the star of a new movie called "The Gingrich That Stole Freedom" (not really, but you get the picture).
He is infamous for leading the charge to impeach Bill Clinton for lying under oath about adulterous activities, while concurrently having an affair with a Chevrolet young[2] Capitol Hill staffer, Callista Bisek.[3] His contempt for late 20th century sexual mores leaves him with "political baggage" that is not easily overcome by his post-Speakership conversion to Roman Catholicism.
Contents |
[edit] Contract With America
“”It doesn't matter what I do... People need to hear what I have to say. There's no one else who can say what I can say. It doesn't matter what I live.
|
| —Newt Gingrich (according to Marianne Gingrich)[4] |
Newt Gingrich rose to the position of Speaker of the House after successfully building a movement which groomed up-and-coming Republican politicians, preparing them to run for the House of Representatives. In the 1994 midterm election, he and his ragtag army managed to win a majority of the seats, running on his ten-point "Contract On With America".
However, his skills as a combative back-bencher did not translate to the ability to ride herd on the GOP House members, and he was eventually ousted by his own party.
He started working for Fox News and is a heavy promoter of the Tea Party, the ideological successors to his reign of demagoguery as Speaker, a group in which he fits very well.
He has talked before about shredding the Constitution.
[edit] Comeback?
In May 2011, Gingrich officially announced his candidacy for the 2012 Republican nomination for President. He was off to a rocky start, first daring to criticize new GOP darling Paul Ryan's deficit reduction plan and catching massive flak from his party colleagues as a result. Next came the revelation that he had run up a tab of half a million dollars at luxury jeweler Tiffany's,[5][6] which he didn't think he'd need to disclose. Newt proceeded to take a two-week vacation to the Mediterranean while the other contenders were busy barnstorming and fundraising. Upon his return, he had to learn that most of his senior campaign staffers were fed up with his half-assed approach and decided to desert the sinking ship.[7]
At a couple of points in the campaign (in November and December 2011 and for a moment after winning the South Carolina caucuses in January 2012), Gingrich was the frontrunner, rising above Mitt Romney in the polls in some intervals. Most of the time, though, he was at most the "not Romney" candidate. However, even this "lead" was short-lived. Gingrich lost the spot to Ron Paul, who even more quickly lost it to Rick Santorum. [8] [9] During his surge, front-runner Mitt Romney (or, "officially," a PAC supporting Mitt Romney) unleashed a near-devastating barrage of ads in Iowa targeting him. This was most likely the cause for Newt's poor showing in the Hawkeye State.
Since then, Gingrich's main objective seems to be a quest of vengeance to utterly destroy Mitt Romney pointing out how unfair Romney's been to him. He won a decisive victory over Romney in the South Carolina presidential primaries.[10]
Gingrich announced on April 25 that he would drop out of the race and support Mitt Romney, the "Massachusetts Moderate". [11]
[edit] Newt!
“”[S]omebody said, 'he's a stupid man’s idea of what a smart person sounds like,' but he is more plausible than the other guys they’ve been pushing up.
|
| —Paul Krugman regarding Newt's rise to the top of the woeful field of 2012 Republican presidential candidates.[12] |
Why anyone with the forenames Newton Leroy would willingly acknowledge an apparent relation to a cold blooded semi-aquatic animal is a question that only he can answer. That Newt is a living fossil and closer than any other animal to the transitional form between fishes and land vertibrates That Newt was either created on the fourth day with the creatures that move in the water or on the sixth day with the land animals, God couldn't make up His mind when to do it.[13]
[edit] The law and the Newt
Stephen Colbert has pointed out that Newt Gingrich has broken the law came close to breaking the law but took advantage of a loophole so he could do what the law tries to prevent without also doing jail time. That Newt is really a slippery animal, anyway Newt told a supporter who is spending more money than Newt is allowed "to scrub ads attacking Mitt Romney for possible inaccuracies."[14] Try and stick within the type of campaigning that the law wants Newt.
[edit] Flip-Flopping
In 2011, Gingrich accused Obama of "flip-flopping" on the Libyan uprising, but should have learned that throwing stones when living in a glass house isn't a good idea.
Compare:
| There's almost a conspiracy of silence, if it's an anti-American government. If you're the Iranians, if you are the Libyans, for that matter, if you're the Chinese, you are able to suppress your people and the American government stays quiet.[15] |
To:
| Prior to March 3, I would have strongly recommended an Eisenhower-Reagan model...you should have said nothing. Be very quiet. Condemn the violence. Do everything you can covertly. |
Or how about:
| Exercise a no-fly zone this evening, communicate to the Libyan military that Gaddafi was gone and that the sooner they switch sides, the more like they were to survive, provided help to the rebels to replace him. I mean, the idea that we're confused about a man who has been an anti-American dictator since 1969 just tells you how inept this administration is.[16] |
and:
| Let me draw the distinction. I would not have intervened. I think there were a lot of other ways to affect Gaddafi. I think there are a lot of other allies in the region we could have worked with. I would not have used American and European forces. |
[edit] Secular-socialist machine
Newt's new favorite catchphrase is "secular-socialist machine," which comes from the subtitle of his book To Save America: Stopping Obama's Secular-Socialist Machine. According to Newt, Barack Obama is the most radical president in US history and is using Saul Alinsky tactics and Chicago politics to refashion the US into a dreaded "high-tax low-growth" European state. Apparently, "the secular-socialist machine represents as great a threat to America as Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union did."[17]
[edit] Family life
Gingrich is an orphan; he suffered the incredible tragedy of losing his stepfather when he was only 53 and his mother when he was 60. It is amazing that he was able to overcome the difficulties of not being able to collect Social Security before having his parents ripped away from him. The fates are indeed cruel.
Contrary to rumor, Newt did not divorce his first wife on her deathbed; in actuality, he tried to get her sign off her right to alimony and child support while she was semi-conscious in the hospital, recovering from tumor surgery.[18] Shortly after his second wife was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, he announced his intention to divorce her, and later had his first two marriages declared invalid by Catholic authorities, so that that he could marry his mistress of six years in the Catholic Church.[19] Newt definitely did not want an open marriage; we have to believe that because he says so.[20] His current wife, Callista (winner of the reality show, America's Next Former Mrs. Gingrich), sings in the choir of Washington D.C.'s Shrine of the Immaculate Conception.[21]
Fox News Shrink Keith Ablow claims Newt's infidelity and open marriage policy[22] could make him a superior president.[23] Rush Limbaugh said something similar, which is unsurprising given his own philandering. Other pundits have chimed in, with a fairly consistent and blatant misunderstanding of what an "open marriage" actually is.
[edit] Quotes
“”I have two grandchildren: Maggie is 11; Robert is 9. I am convinced that if we do not decisively win the struggle over the nature of America, by the time they're my age they will be in a secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists and with no understanding of what it once meant to be an American.[25]
|
“”A mere 40 years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. Now it is not only a sport [but] in the Olympics. ... And there's a whole new world of opportunity opening up that didn't even exist 30 years ago or 40 years ago, and no bureaucrat would have invented it. And that's what freedom is all about.[26]
|
“”I, frankly, would be really worried if somebody assured me that nothing in their faith would affect their judgments, because then I’d wonder, where’s your judgment — how can you have judgment if you have no faith? And how can I trust you with power if you don’t pray?[27]
|
“”The literati sent out their minions to do their bidding. Washington cannot tolerate threats from outsiders who might disrupt their comfortable world. The firefight started when the cowardly sensed weakness. They fired timidly at first, then the sheep not wanting to be dropped from the establishment’s cocktail party invite list unloaded their entire clip, firing without taking aim their distortions and falsehoods. Now they are left exposed by their bylines and handles. But surely they had killed him off. This is the way it always worked. A lesser person could not have survived the first few minutes of the onslaught. But out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich, once again ready to lead those who won’t be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challenges America faces.
|
| —PR release from Gingrich's press secretary Rick Tyler[28] |
[edit] External links
- Newt in His Own Words: 33 Years of Bomb-Throwing (collection of quotes and incidents), Mother Jones, May 2011
- SpreadingGingrich First there was Santorum. Then there was Romney. Now it's Newt's turn.
[edit] Footnotes
- ↑ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ndkzs4XHTI0&feature=player_detailpage#t=15s
- ↑ 23 years his junior (which is either bad or awesome depending on your prejudices involving sex and age)
- ↑ Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich Acknowledges Having Affair During Clinton Impeachment
- ↑ Newt Gingrich's Ex Speaks Out and Its Ugly
- ↑ Slate: Gingrich Had Six-Figure Tab at Tiffany’s
- ↑ http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43500870/ns/politics-decision_2012/t/advisers-gingrich-thought-tiffany-credit-line-was-private/Gingrich
- ↑ Newt Gingrich Advisers Resign En Masse Politico
- ↑ http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-12-12/romney-seeks-to-deflect-attacks-from-rivals-over-10-000-wager.html
- ↑ http://www.decodedscience.com/game-changer-in-iowa-paul-gains-substantial-lead-in-two-polls/8205
- ↑ South Carolina poll: Gingrich triumphs over Romney
- ↑ http://www.nj.com/njvoices/index.ssf/2012/04/newt_gingrich_drops_out_of_rac.html Newt Gingrich Drop Out of Race, NJ.com
- ↑ This Week with Christiane Amanpour (20 November 2011)
- ↑ Or perhaps the well known UK newt fancier & one-time Labour luminary Ken Livingstone might have some sympathy
- ↑ http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Elections/Vox-News/2012/0118/Will-Jon-Stewart-go-to-jail-for-running-Stephen-Colbert-s-super-PAC
- ↑ [1]
- ↑ [2]
- ↑ http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=37064
- ↑ Gore, Dangelo.The Gingrich Divorce Myth, FactCheck.org, December 2, 2011
- ↑ Carpenter, Megan. Newt Gingrich’s Second Wife Dishes Hard To Esquire: His Money Woes, His Philandering, His Meltdown, August 11, 2010.
- ↑ http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-16643430
- ↑ Callista Gingrich in the spotlight, Washington Post, December 14, 2011.
- ↑ Ex-wife: Newt Gingrich wanted 'open marriage'
- ↑ Fox News: Infidelity might make Newt better president
- ↑ http://www.quotesandpoem.com/quotes/showquotes/author/newt-gingrich/120470
- ↑ http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2011/03/what.php
- ↑ http://www.slate.com/id/1880/
- ↑ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2Xke_AYffY
- ↑ Be sure to check out John Lithgow's performance of this gem.
| United States 2012 Presidential election articles on RationalWiki | ||
|---|---|---|
| Topics: 2012 U.S. Presidential Election - Democratic Party - Debate:Religious beliefs and public office - Republican Party - Same-sex marriage - United States Electoral College Candidates: Michele Bachmann - Newt Gingrich - Mitt Romney - Rick Santorum - Ron Paul Winner: Barack Obama (incumbent) |
||