Political parties of Canada
The following is a list of registered political parties in the country of Canuckistan[1][2]:
[edit] The major parties
[edit] Bloc Quebecois
- Name in English: (none) Apparently this party only runs in the French infested part of Canuckistan, screw bilingualism!
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: Bloc Québécois[3]
- Political positioning: Slightly center-left, but mostly pro-Quebec sovereignty.
- Party color: Light blue.
- Party leader: Mario Beaulieu.
A separatist party that works within the confines of the federal system to look out for Quebec's interests until the province achieves sovereignty. They very awkwardly became the Official Opposition, just from the one more seat they happened to win in Quebec. This role as the largest party on the other side of the government, as the first party to question the government, and as the party with the longest time accrued to question the government, lasted from 1993 through 1997. Their Opposition Leaders were Lucien Bouchard, Michel Gauthier, and Gilles Duceppe.
They did have left of center policy positions on their platform, however. They supported the Kyoto Accord, abortion rights, legalization of same-sex marriage, Environmentalism, decriminalization of cannabis, abolition of the Canadian Senate, withdrawal of Canadian troops from Afghanistan, opposition to the Iraq War, and legalization of assisted suicide. Nevertheless, the policy most associated with them is the 1995 Quebec referendum, the second independence referendum in Quebec history. 50.6% of voters said no, with Montreal's overwhelming "No" tipping the balance.
Almost wiped out in the 2011 election; their three remaining seats, from previously over 40, aren't even enough to give them official party status in parliament anymore. The party is likely dead unless they somehow stage a miracle in four years, as the Quebecois seem willing to put aside the question of separation for now.
[edit] Conservative Party of Canada
- Nom en français: Parti conservateur du Canada
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: Conservative/Conservateur
- Political positioning: Center-right to radical right.
- Party color: Blue.
- Party leader: Stephen Harper
- The Ruling Idiots (as of early 2014)
It's very tempting to call it the Party of Stephen Harper. Ever since he pushed for the merger, the Conservative Party has followed almost everything that Harper wants. He rules with an iron grip, and throws everyone under the bus (including Mulroney) to maintain control. After the wingnuts were decimated during Brian Mulroney's reign, the Tories expanded their member base by devouring the Progressive Conservative Party and forming the Progressive Party Refoooooooooorm! Party Social Credit Party of Canada Canadian Reform Alliance Party.
This merger(those mergers?) effectively pushed the federal party hard[4] to the right, to the dismay of the old guard and many of the Provincial versions of the Progressive Conservative parties. Their all-around unpleasantness had them working with minority governments for most of Harper's tenure, and Harper managed to eradicate what was left of the Progressives so the provincial parties would pledge their allegiance to his dumb ass. Essentially the Canadian equivalent to Blue Dog Democrats or Rockefeller Republicans, as they tend to lack the GOP's social conservatism, climate change denial, anti-science sentiment, religious fervor, and penchant for voter disenfranchisement (doesn't stop them from trying anyway). Good luck trying to find any other differences. With the growth of the NDP in Quebec and the collapse of the Liberals, they finally gained a majority of parliament, with only 40% of the popular vote, in 2011. Now everyone is regretting that choice.
[edit] Liberal Party of Canada
- Nom en français: Parti libéral du Canada
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: Liberal/Libéral
- Political positioning: Centrist.
- Partly color: Red
- Party leader: Justin Trudeau.
AKA the pricks who want to get back into power and seem more and more likely to do it. Molded from centrism, but considerably to the left of the American Democratic Party, the Liberals have been in power significantly longer than the Conservatives during Canada's history. Incredibly cocky, they've described themselves as "The natural governing party of Canada," which was admittedly accurate for 80 of 110 years between 1896 and 2006. They tend to steal the most popular ideas from the platforms of third parties and proceed to take all the credit (because they clearly have no ideas of their own), such as the post-war welfare state originally proposed by the NDP. Whenever they suffer a blow to their image, they have been known to bend to the demands of other parties to patch themselves up, such as the drastic spending cuts of the 1990s advocated by the Reform Party. If the effects of such demands don't end up helping the people all that much, the voters are happy to go "Oh, wait, this policy sucks and we're happy to throw your asses out." Their supporters consider it pragmatic-thinking Realpolitik, while their opponents allege flip-flopping and corresponding lack of principles. In effect, they're the Canadian equivalent to Nancy Pelosi or Joe Biden. They were knocked down to a third party rump with only 33 seats in 2011, but it allowed the Conservatives to squeak into a majority. Under the command of Justin Trudeau, son of Pierre Trudeau, the Liberals are attempting to position themselves to the left wing as a way to undercut the NDP and dethrone Harper.
[edit] New Democratic Party
- Nom en français: Nouveau Parti démocratique
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: NDP/NPD
- Political positioning: Center-left.
- Partly color: Orange.
- Party leader: Thomas Mulcair.
A social democratic party founded in the mid twentieth century by rural farmers and urban unionists. They were consistently the smallest (or second-smallest) party in parliament for most of their existence, with their only noticeable accomplishment being party leader Tommy Douglas successfully campaigning for the institution of universal healthcare. Their fortunes took a dramatic turn when Jack Layton took over as head of the party in 2003. With the help of a fairly brilliant presentation of the party platform, he brought the NDP to greater stature than ever before, to the point where the NDP is now dominant voice on the Canadian left (think Bernie Sanders or Dennis Kucinich). In the 2011 election, he eradicated the Bloc Quebecois, crushed the once-invincible Liberals, and set up the NDP as the Official Opposition for the first time ever (and possibly ending the threat of Quebec separatism), with himself as Leader. Jack Layton died a few months after the election, and Thomas Mulcair was elected to replace him. Suffice to say, we know Jack Layton, and Thomas Mulcair is no Jack Layton - they're having a hard time doing much in provinces that aren't Quebec or British Columbia, so their status as the Official Opposition after 2015 will likely end.
[edit] Almost major parties
[edit] Green Party of Canada
- Nom en français: Le Parti Vert du Canada[5]
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: Green Party/Parti Vert[6]
- Party Leader: Elizabeth May
Formerly the party which participates in the debate without getting anyone elected; now the party which got one person elected without participating in the debate - Hmm. Also known for having extreme anti-GMO, radiophobic and several other pseudoscience positions.[7]
[edit] Forces et Démocratie
- Name in English: None, another Quebec only party
- Political positioning: Center-left.
- Party colours: Green, blue
- Party Leader: Jean-François Fortin
Party formed by a disgruntled Bloc Québécois MP and a disgruntled NDP MP, which criticized the four parties with seats in Quebec for focusing more on gaining power than representing constituents. A Quebec nationalist (though not explicitly separatist) party.
[edit] Really minor parties
[edit] Animal Alliance Environment Voters Party of Canada
- Nom en français: (sans nom)[8]
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: Animal Alliance/Environment Voters
[edit] Canadian Action Party
- Nom en français: Parti Action Canadienne
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: CAP/PAC
- In the spirit of bilingualism, we should salute to these PAC-man's CAP's.
[edit] Christian Heritage Party of Canada
- Nom en français: Parti de L’Héritage Chrétien du Canada
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: Christian Heritage Party/Parti de l'Héritage Chrétien[6]
- Who says theocracy is out in Canuckistan? See also dominionism.
[edit] Communist Party of Canada
- Nom en français: Parti Communiste du Canada
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: Communist/Communiste
- Told you that Canuckistan is infested with Communists!
[edit] First Peoples National Party of Canada
- Nom en français: (sans nom)[8]
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: FPNP
- Apparently the First Peoples only communicate in English.
[edit] Libertarian Party of Canada
- Nom en français: Parti Libertarien du Canada
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: Libertarian/Libertarien
[edit] Marijuana Party
- Nom en français: Parti Marijuana
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: Radical Marijuana[9]
- Polling for pot. (Not to be confused with Pol Pot)
[edit] Marxist-Leninist Party of Canada
- Nom en français: Parti Marxiste-Léniniste du Canada
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: Marxist-Leninist/Marxiste-Léniniste
- When one communist party just isn't sufficient.
[edit] neorhino.ca
- Nom en français: neorhino.ca[10]
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: neorhino.ca[3]
- "All the other parties have election platform. We rather choose a happyform to explain our views." [sic]
[edit] Newfoundland and Labrador First Party
- Nom en français: (sans nom)[8]
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: NL First Party
[edit] People's Political Power Party of Canada
- Nom en Français: Pouvoir Politique du Peuple du Canada
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: PPP
- When one P just isn't enough. And you can't party in French.
[edit] Pirate Party of Canada
- Nom en français: Parti Pirate du Canada
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: PPCA
- They have beaten the Ninja Party of Canada in every riding they've run in.
[edit] Western Block Party
- Nom en français: (sans nom)[8]
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: WBP
- Alberta's utterly irrelevant answer to the Bloc Quebecois.
[edit] Work Less Party
- Nom en français: (sans nom)[8]
- Short-form Name/Nom abrégé: Work Less Party[3]
- Did they miss a word? We thought it was "Work Less and Party!"
[edit] See also
[edit] Footnotes
- ↑ Source for all the names: Elections Canada (In Canuckistan we have a separate group of bureaucrats to promote the gerrymandering. Better yet, you can't even elect these guys!)
- ↑ By no means do the parties have to be major, they simply have to register and pass the test on this list
- ↑ 3.0 3.1 3.2 Since when does the full name become the short name when it isn't any shorter? Though the accents aigus gets annoying after a while.
- ↑ We'd normally make a "that's what she said" joke, but that would get us spied on by the CSIS.
- ↑ It is not clear whether they are intentionally altering the sort order by inserting the article "Le" in their name
- ↑ 6.0 6.1 So getting rid of Canada from the name is the way of abridging the name. Very creative.
- ↑ Yep, they're kinda nutty.
- ↑ 8.0 8.1 8.2 8.3 8.4 Apparently this party only runs in the English infested parts of Canuckistan, screw bilingualism again!
- ↑ For some really f**ked up reason the short form name is longer than the actual name.
- ↑ Their website is partially English and partially French (On the same page, and they are not corresponding translations), So we have no idea whether the name is English or French.