Princess Diana (formally titled "Diana, Princess of Wales," Diana Mountbatten-Windsor, née Spencer, 1 July 1961 – 31 August 1997) was a member of the British Royal Family and the first wife of Charles, Prince of Wales (they married in 1981 and divorced in 1996).
 Woo lover
“”For years I've been trying to bury my troubles under mountains of food, but after I binge, I worry about my figure. And I make myself throw up. It's a terrible vicious compulsion. But now that I'm getting regular colonics, I don't worry so much about what I eat. I know all the excess food will be washed away, along with the poisons that cause my terrible headaches. My migraines are caused by food allergies, and I haven't had one since I started the treatments.
She also wore an amethyst crystal given to her by a dowser who used a pendulum to diagnose lead poisoning while watching her on television. One may wonder how she came to suffer from lead poisoning; however, it appears to be true - she got it from a pencil.
Diana died in a car crash in Paris 31 August 1997. The paparazzi were blamed for causing events that led to the crash, as was her driver, who was believed to be drunk at the time. Her death place has become a magnet for grief tourism, and her death is considered the impetus for the current craze of it in Europe, with the "outpouring" of grief being unprecedented at the time in the UK.
She has also been the subject of a conspiracy theory that says she was killed by the Royal Family and MI6 has been repeatedly implicated in the event — with one former agent claiming the incident was similar to other planned assassinations. Various motives for this have been proposed, such as the Royals discovering that Diana was pregnant (both the coroner at the time and subsequent blood tests showed this wasn't the case) or possibly about to marry her boyfriend of the time, Dodi Fayed. As he was a Muslim, such a thing would have been a disgrace (the Royals are more devoutly Christian than most people realise). Dodi's father, Mohamed Al-Fayed, has been one of the key people keeping the conspiracy wheels turning and the Daily Express front page is stuck in a 1997-shaped time warp.
A more likely theory is that, given the number of flowers thrown at her hearse during the funeral, Diana was murdered by florists who wanted to boost sales.
 Other Stuff
Reasons to like her:
- She helped create a culture of tolerance towards HIV+ people.
- She campaigned against landmines.
- She helped modernise the British royal family, and took her children to theme parks etc, which has made them more human in the long run.
- About the only member of the royal family, male or female, to be particularly photogenic at the time.
Reasons to hate her:
- She should have never married Charlie, because she definitely wasn't in love with him. But she was young...
- Thinking that "Squidgy" was a sexy nickname.
Reasons to be indifferent to her:
- That hoo-ha after her death. Manufactured by a guilty media, and not by her.
- Keeping poor Madelaine McCann off the front page of the Daily Express.
 See also
- Elizabeth II
- British Historic Society, a faux society being used to exploit Princess Diana's memory to sell cheap "replica" jewelry.
- ↑ Royals don't really have surnames. If they did, the inbreeding would become hilariously obvious.
- ↑ "Famous Enema Practisioners." Internal Cleansing Systems.
- ↑ Di Cures ALL Her Ills with Weird Water Therapy Globe Vol. 40, Number 22 (copy of article text, original source unavailable)
- ↑ Princess Diana believed in healing powers of crystals