Recipe:Fruitcake

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Ingredients:

  • One pound TNT
  • Six liters gamma-ray-emitting radioactive nuclear waste (preferably green)
  • Nine gallons cement
  • Four pounds rotting meat
  • Six ounces lead
  • Nine ounces horse hair
  • Six ounces cat hair (optional)
  • Cup of flies (garnish)
  • Six ounces solid gold (what they heck, why not?)
  • Deceit (optional)
  • Glowing crackers (optional)


Directions:

  1. Mix together the organic ingredients and let sit for five minutes.
  2. Add deceit, gold, lead, and cement. Let set.
  3. Add the TNT and nuclear waste together.
  4. Take a jackhammer and use it to stir the two mixtures together.
  5. Bake inside nuclear furnace
  6. Cut with chainsaw
  7. Serve fresh!
  8. Set leftovers out as fly bait

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