Bronze-level articleSean Hannity

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Sean Hannity is an American right-wing political commentator. And like most American right-wing political commentators, is well known for being an obnoxious prat - at least to the lieberuls opposed to him, to his supporters he speaks nothing but God's Honest Truth. Basically, you know that loud "happy drunk" type on the barstool next to you who's mostly fun when the game is on, but then tends to spout vaguely racist gibberish when the TV is off? That one who's fun to drink with but you're pretty certain he has the IQ of a brick? Well, imagine giving him a television show where he goes point-counterpoint against and gets to talk over uninteresting comedian Alan Colmes.[1] That loudmouthed wingnut is Sean Hannity. He also has a radio show where he's allowed to be even more obnoxious. In 2009 Colmes was dropped from the Hannity and Colmes show and now Hannity has the floor to himself. Currently titled Hannity's America, he can now spout his non-stop drivel without having an annoying leftie commie to keep him in check.

Hannity was discovered by fellow literal-super-heavyweight[2] motor-mouth Rush Limbaugh and did a few stints as his guest host before hitting the bigtime with Fox News. He was also responsible for inflicting neo-Nazi shitstirrer Hal Turner on the world.

Contents

[edit] Education

Education? We're talking Sean Hannity, schooled as a building sewage subcontractor. He subsequently trained as a semi-professional neo-Nazi. NYU dropout. Wanna-b poor person that went to St. Pius Preparatory Seminary School for "young yuppies."

[edit] Personal life

I had a dream. I forgot what it was about.

He is married to his life partner and soul mate, alan colmes. Hannity revealed their relationship in Variety, "It might surprise everybody that alan's the top and I'm the bottom. When people say I'm a pain in the ass, I know what they're talking about."

[edit] "Ode to Sean Hannity"

The Ode to Sean Hannity is a poem written by John Cleese of Monty Python fame. The poem is an addendum of sorts to the pwning of Hannity at the hands of Obama campaign spokesman Robert Gibbs on the special edition of Hannity & Colmes [3] following the second Presidential debate of 2008. The poem was submitted to Keith Olbermann and read as part of the #1 story on the October 8, 2008 broadcast of Countdown with Keith Olbermann.[4]

An Ode to Sean Hannity
Aping urbanity
Oozing with vanity
Plump as a manatee
Faking humanity
Journalistic calamity
Intellectual inanity
Fox Noise insanity
You’re a profanity
Hannity

[edit] White supremacist

Hannity's background as a white supremacist has been glossed over. Learning from David Duke (R-South Africa), Hannity has distanced himself from former neo-nazi pal Hal Turner.

Amid accusations that Hannity staffers and "fan boys" have been purging the web on a mission to sanitize Hannity's record,[5] even Wikipedia has finally acknowledged Hannity's complicity.

Following the 2008 Presidential elections, Hannity declared "underground war, guerrilla war against President Obama".[6][7][8]

[edit] Effusive opinions

Hannity is on record as having spent more than an hour praising the United States of America as "The greatest, best, most free country on God's earth, ever". Fareed Zakaria wore a slightly desperate grin throughout. He also has a rather bizarre definition of the word "peace" that appears to have sod all to do with any acceptable definition on the Internet. Whereas even the usually unreliable Wikipedia calls it "an absence of hostility", Hannity basically likes to think peace means "blowing the shit out of dirty foreigners".[9]

[edit] Scamming via veteran's "charity"

The Freedom Alliance charity, that claims to raise money for wounded soldiers and survivors of fallen ones, was exposed in early 2010 by hard core right wing Ann Coulter wanna-be Debbie Schlussel as only using three percent of its proceeds for the stated purpose.

Hannity apparently insists on being flown around in a private jet, and having access to a fleet of luxury vehicles for he and his family on the ground.[10]

David Frum, however, disagreed with her analysis.[11]

[edit] World records

  • Use of the word "hate" in a single show: 16,535.
  • Career usage of the word "hate": 3.226x1027.

[edit] See also

[edit] Footnotes

  1. "You just contradicted me, you hate America!"
  2. If he's going to keep calling Michelle Obama fat, he's fair game for this.
  3. We totally ripped this typographical joke from Senator Al Franken
  4. Newshounds reports on the poem.
  5. Hannity "fan boys"
  6. War against President Obama (funny how that's been removed!)
  7. Hannity's America (funny– that's been removed too!)
  8. Bill Moyerss' Contemporary America (Hannity hasn't gotten to NPR.)
  9. You Tube - Check Out Hannity's Definition Of Peace
  10. Schlussel's write-up of Hannity's charity shenanigans. This story had originally been broken three years earlier (2007) by the Daily Kos, but they are liberal commies out to smear a great man by asking questions no rich white conservative should ever have to answer.
  11. http://www.frumforum.com/hannitized-is-sanitized
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