|Part of the series on|
|A baker's dozen on sex|
Sexual intercourse is a polite term for fucking. Though it does feel reallllllllyyy good, the primary function in a biological and evolutionary sense, is to make babies. In heterosexual intercourse, the sperm from the penis enters the vagina if protection isn't used, which could lead to a pregnancy if the sperm reaches the woman's egg in the fallopian tubes. Homosexual intercourse does not have such messy outcomes, although you run the risk of being shouted at by homophobes.
 Why conservatives fear the penis and vagina
As can be seen by illogical conservative support of abstinence-only sexual education, conservatives fear their children might learn about penises and vaginas. Fortunately for conservatives, America has the world's highest teen pregnancy rate which proves that America's children know very little about human anatomy and birth control, proving that abstinence-only sexual education is working.
 Use in traditional America
Originally named Cross Keys, a village in Pennsylvania, popular with the Amish, in 1814, was renamed "Intercourse". In early 19th century usage, "intercourse" referred to nonsexual social interaction.  Another possible explanation is that the village may originally have been called "Entercourse", to refer to a nearby racecourse. It should be noted that Intercourse is not far from the village of Blue Balls, Pennsylvania, which may be a commentary on the sense of humor of Pennsylvania Dutch settlers.
 Christmas and sex
A lot of Americans do it over the Christmas holiday, people tend to like it just then, this could be a seasonal effect or due to the warm fuzzy holiday feeling.  Serious scientific research is possible here. Comparing birth statistics and figures for condom sales in the Northern hemisphere eg USA, Canada, UK with similar statistics for countries with similar cultures in the Southern hemisphere eg Australia, New Zealand could indicate which factor is more important.
 See also
- ↑ http://www.coolnurse.com/teen_pregnancy_rates.htm
- ↑ That, or it's because America doesn't punish teen pregnancy, since unmarried women getting pregnant is a capital crime in some other countries.
- ↑  The Village of Intercourse
- ↑ It's High Time for Conception: Studies Show Peak Times, Weather for Sex
- ↑ To be fair, the condom you bought in large quantities during December can probably last till valentine's day