This page is a goat.Talk:Goat

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[edit] Citeh

What about Shaun "The Goat" Goater?

Can I add this? I had it on the CP article Goat but they didn't like it.

Conservative Christians often buy goats for Malawi orphans[1] whereas liberals like Madonna prefer to keep Malawi orphans as household pets [2].

Auld Nick 08:27, 31 May 2007 (CDT)


They can be eaten too. Very nice when curried. Spica 08:28, 31 May 2007 (CDT)
Done. αιρδισΗταλκ 08:36, 31 May 2007 (CDT)

Isn't anyone going to add the creationist view of goats? I mean, every animal article has to have a creationist view... Sterile 08:42, 31 May 2007 (CDT)

....er, no. ;) Spica 08:43, 31 May 2007 (CDT)
...er, *yes*! ;) Spica 09:37, 31 May 2007 (CDT)

I added the goat marriage info, but I'm still a newby at this links stuff. if anyone could make them wiki-like I's be grateful.--Bob_M (talk) 11:23, 31 May 2007 (CDT)

Hey...I'm tryin' to write a serious article here!!!! Whoa, Stacey, whoa!!! Hold on, brbDocSock 11:59, 31 May 2007 (CDT)

I take offense at this slur. My edit was totally serious and factual in every respect.--Bob_M (talk) 12:43, 31 May 2007 (CDT)
Even at the bit about good eating? Oh. That was my bit......LOL Spica 15:44, 31 May 2007 (CDT)

What creatures are part of the "goat" baramin? --Kels 18:37, 31 May 2007 (CDT)

That is a stupid fucking question. Baramin?!? Obviously the term baramin is of questionable legitimacy in this context. They are part of the holobaramin that includes goat, rhinoceros, elephant, narwhale, and other horned animals. Jesus friggin Christ, but youre an idiot.--PalMD-yada yada 18:40, 31 May 2007 (CDT)
Don't call me an idiot, you cretin! I'd have my doctorate in Creation Science if the cheque hadn't bounced! --Kels 15:46, 1 June 2007 (CDT)


Why such goat on RW - you worship goat?--Subhuman cabal member 15:15, 1 June 2007 (CDT)
I will use small words for you, so even a caveman can understand. Goats good. Goats pretty. Goats tasty. DocSock 15:23, 1 June 2007 (CDT)
Subhuman understund big words. Look - understund! Subhuman get your goat! Subhuman make joke. Subhuman funny! Subhuman laugh HA Ha Ha! Subhuman not pray to your goat!--Subhuman cabal member 15:29, 1 June 2007 (CDT)

This needs more Harry Potter references. All that stuff about Albus Dumbledore's brother doing 'unspeakable magic' with goats needs to be in here. 59.91.210.114 11:47, 6 August 2007 (CDT)

[edit] References

  1. A Ministry of Hope in Malawi
  2. Madonna takes custody of Malawian baby

[edit] Lambs

So are goats the only animals of worship around here? I used to know a woman who made a roast-beef-style roast lamb, and used the drippings to make a yorkshire pudding. MMM mmm was that good. --jtltalk 17:16, 1 June 2007 (CDT)

I think you just described most of the British women of a certain generation. Cooking the roast lamb, that is. Mmm, yummy, indeed, although the roast potatoes never come out as good as when roasting beef. humanbe in 12:01, 6 August 2007 (CDT)

[edit] Funny Shit

Okay this is the funniest shit I have ever seen. Good job, guys!-AmesG 22:13, 19 June 2007 (CDT)

[edit] Dont!one11

mess with teh goatses!!!!!1111!!--DoxXox-DawkT0wk 17:49, 17 August 2007 (CDT)

I've got maggoats in ma goats. Goat Speed! humanbe in 19:52, 17 August 2007 (CDT)

[edit] Colbert

Can someone dig out utube or some such on when Colbert went apeshit on goats a couple weeks back? That would make a nice section (if quoted tastefully... mmmm, tasty goat...) or link under "see also". humanbe in 20:05, 17 August 2007 (CDT)

[edit] Goat escapes horrifying attack (but woman doesn't)

I know that it's not really funny but did anyone see this item on the BBC website? Genghis Khant 06:19, 20 August 2007 (CDT)

[edit] Scary Question

So I have to ask...does all the goatspeak around here have something to do with the...uh...internet meme from a website whose name is similar to "goat"? Please respond without illustrative images. For the sake of my innocent eyes and pure mind. Thank you.--GoatHave a cold one! 13:58, 29 August 2007 (CDT) Not that I necessarily have a vested interest or anything...

Quote: "I will use small words for you, so even a caveman can understand. Goats good. Goats pretty. Goats tasty. DocSock 15:23, 1 June 2007 (CDT) " Goattalk 14:09, 29 August 2007 (CDT)

No, it's just that on the inherent humour scale of animals, goats rank quite highly - cf Professor Calculus, etc ... --Goat שְׁלֹום!

I always assumed it was to separate us from the sheep. Goat 14:48, 29 August 2007 (CDT)
Monkeys are perennially funny (anything with an "M" and a "K" in the same word is automatially funny), but we wanted to be original. --Goat 14:55, 29 August 2007 (CDT)
Milk? The Mikado? Amtrak? Damask? Amiskwia? Denmark? Smoke? The Montauk Project is hilarious, though... Totnesmartin 15:03, 29 August 2007 (CDT)
Monk? (the TV detective)
Monks? (strange dudes living in communes) --84.151.207.130 (talk) 19:15, 5 February 2013 (UTC)
Goats are good in so many ways, but are separate from Goatse.--PalMD-Ars longa, vita brevis 15:27, 29 August 2007 (CDT)
Gotcha. Will cheerfully accept goat domination, as long as chimps are granted special status also. Just wanted to measure the moral decadence of the mob. --GoatConvertHave a cold one!15:42, 29 August 2007 (CDT) <--Will also cheerfully accept moral decadence
You'll need a yardstick with the zero in the middle in order to do that, I fear. humanbe in 15:49, 29 August 2007 (CDT)

Are 'manky', 'mink' and 'monk' inherently funny? 86.134.53.34 (talk) 09:45, 13 April 2015 (UTC)

[edit] 9/11

Shouldn't there be a mention that G.W.Bush was so entranced by the story of My Pet Goat that he couldn't pull himself away to deal with the attacks on the World Trade Centre? Genghis Khant 07:17, 5 September 2007 (CDT)

{{fact}}(?) Fascinating if true - never heard it before (being a furriner) Susan Jayne Garlicktalk 08:28, 5 September 2007 (CDT)

Well I'm not a native either but in Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 911 he sits there for seven minutes (I think) listening to schoolkids read My Pet Goat after being told about the attacks. Of course being a deceitful librul liar Moore could have stretched it out a bit. Genghis Khant 08:52, 5 September 2007 (CDT)
This has to be included. Here are two links to verify. http://www.cooperativeresearch.org/essay.jsp?article=essayaninterestingday http://www.buzzflash.com/editorial/04/08/edi04057.html it was "My pet Goat". Go for it Genghis - it's perfect. Be bold.--Bobbing up and down 08:57, 5 September 2007 (CDT)
I'd have done the same thing in his situation, TBH. I mean... My Pet Goat? Who wouldn't? --AKjeldsenGodspeed! 09:30, 5 September 2007 (CDT)
Personally I keep it next to me all the time for emergencies.--Bobbing up and down 09:35, 5 September 2007 (CDT)
BTW, it's called The Pet Goat. And can he be faulted, really? Damn fine topic... if he had stopped reading, the terrowists would have pwnzord!!! Goatspeed, humanbe in 19:29, 24 September 2007 (EDT)

[edit] Rebuttal to a stupid claim

"Creationists believe that goats co-existed with dinosaurs, since goats appear in historic hieroglyphs."

Such stupid nonsense! How can goats coexist with dinosaurs if goats appeared in historic hieroglyphs and dinosaurs are nowhere to be found in them? --Crazyharp81602 17:54, 22 February 2008 (EST)

Dinosaurs weren't what?PFoster 17:55, 22 February 2008 (EST)

That's because the goats wouldn't allow the dinosaurs to be depicted along with them. If they had been, they might have diminished the majestic glory that rightfully belonged to the goats. :nods: --AKjeldsenGodspeed! 17:58, 22 February 2008 (EST)

Goat-butting not re-butting? 82.44.143.26 (talk) 15:40, 18 June 2010 (UTC)

Ironically, dinosaurs appear frequently in historical hieroglyphs (so frequently, in fact, that they have their own category devoted to them), but to accept the claim "dinosaurs and goats co-exist in hieroglyphs" you need to accept evolution and the evolutionists' weird definition of "dinosaur" ...
(Mmmhhhhh, tastes like dinosaur) --84.151.207.130 (talk) 19:11, 5 February 2013 (UTC)

[edit] Legendary Goats

Perhaps we should remain true and faithful persons of faith, and not give in to the liberal sillyness of "politically correct speech", by using the correct term of "Satanic Goats", or if necessary, the slightly softer but less offensive terms of "Pagan goats" or "Heathen Goats". The Devil doth dwell in those horns and cloven hooves, don'tca know. --WaitingforGodot 12:59, 3 July 2008 (EDT)

Mmmm. New editor wants to edit the famous goat page straight off. And the "Legendary Goats" section at that. A brave place to start I must say.--Bobbing up 13:13, 3 July 2008 (EDT)
This will end in tears, mark my words. --AKjeldsenCum dissensie 14:17, 3 July 2008 (EDT)
Heidrun and Trent will not like this *menacing music* --*Gen. S.T. Shrink* Get to the bunker 14:20, 3 July 2008 (EDT)

Excuse my ignorance... but Where's the (tasty goat) cheese section?

Masteri 19:35, 27 January 2009 (EST)

[edit] Goat card

What about this goat? --"ConservapediaUndergroundResistorGoatspeed! 16:17, 31 January 2009 (EST) --->
Goat card.png
The pic's a bit too cute. We want one with big curly horns and a straggly beard and nasty big pointy teeth Yours trulyDear Sir 16:22, 31 January 2009 (EST)
GOAT! Sorry, but I can't recreate it. It's either this one or nothing. --"ConservapediaUndergroundResistorGoatspeed! 16:28, 31 January 2009 (EST)
What about this pic? ωεαşεζόίďWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 16:33, 31 January 2009 (EST)
How about Heidorun or Lord Jerboa? Bastard wisest Phantom Hoover! 16:33, 31 January 2009 (EST)
No Jerboa, you'll have to make it yourself. But I am going to do a sand cat one, as well as a RWW one. --"ConservapediaUndergroundResistorGoatspeed! 16:35, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Do Human or tmtoulouse; the gods of RationalWiki should have cards. Bastard wisest Phantom Hoover! 16:41, 31 January 2009 (EST)

(unident) Human's going to have a vodka image. I don't know about Tmt. I also have a Fall Down one, if I can upload it (worrying about feeding the troll). --"ConservapediaUndergroundResistorGoatspeed! 16:42, 31 January 2009 (EST)

What image are you using as Fall down's image? Bastard wisest Phantom Hoover! 16:45, 31 January 2009 (EST)

Nice card, CUR. It'll go great with all the others on this page. Star of David.png Radioactive Misanthrope 16:47, 31 January 2009 (EST)

For FD, I'm having a screenshot of his sock list. Oh, and the Garnering cards can't actually be played with. That's the curucial difference. In my game, you could actually play it. It's parody, but is functional. The Garnering cards aren't functional. --"ConservapediaUndergroundResistorGoatspeed! 16:48, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Why couldn't you play the Garnering cards? Bastard wisest Phantom Hoover! 16:49, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Look at them. No damage or effects. --"ConservapediaUndergroundResistorGoatspeed! 16:51, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Are you seriously trying to piss off Human? If not then chuck the vodka and get some Scotch. A large Macallan, I think. Redchuck.gif ГенгисRationalWiki GOLD member 16:52, 31 January 2009 (EST)
They do have damage and effects. Bastard wisest Phantom Hoover! 16:53, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Oh. Well, there are no instructions. --"ConservapediaUndergroundResistorGoatspeed! 16:54, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Because they are meant to be played to the rules of Magic: The Gathering. Bastard wisest Phantom Hoover! 17:05, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Ah-ha! But my game is different! Look! --"ConservapediaUndergroundResistorGoatspeed! 17:06, 31 January 2009 (EST)
There's already a Human card. ωεαşεζόίďWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 17:16, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Hi :) ħumanUser talk:Human 22:28, 31 January 2009 (EST)

[edit] Picture

This goat is much prettier than Stacie. There are more here and they're not copyright. Proxima Centauri 09:49, 5 February 2009 (EST)

[edit] Orchestra (mixing desk)

As amusing as the orchestra is, it really slows down loading the page, so I zapped it for now. Perhaps we could just link to it? ħumanUser talk:Human 14:37, 28 February 2009 (EST)

[edit] Rhyming words

In the list of words goat rhymes with, "eukaryote" is listed twice. If this was intentional, just revert my edit.

[edit] FYI

The search phrase "how many time are goats mentioned in the Bible?" now nets us about 50-100 views a month. Various combinations of gerbiling and goat net us about the same amount. Gerbiling alone nets us way to many. tmtoulouse 17:45, 1 August 2009 (UTC)

Why "way to[o] many"? Do you think we're not attracting the right sort of person? Redchuck.gif ГенгисYou have the right to be offended; and I have the right to offend you. 17:56, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
Exactly, the kind of person who has to actually google gerbiling to know what it is? Naive, sheltered and probably home schooled. tmtoulouse 18:03, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
Should gerbiling have one L or two? The number of urban dictionary definitions would suggest two Ls is the more common form, but the number of google hits suggests vice versa. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 18:25, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
A more significant question is, who's been gerbil(l)ing the goats? --Kels (talk) 18:27, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
Firefox prefers beguiling. ħumanUser talk:Human 18:52, 1 August 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Iz back

YAY! Totnesmartin (talk) 09:14, 7 September 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Odd wandalism

What's with the odd wandalism to this article recently? Is it spambots? Tetronian you're clueless 21:40, 8 November 2009 (UTC)

Probably. It attacks the same section of the article, leaving only "comment5" or somesuch. Nothing we can do but watch and revert when necessary. Aboriginal Noise Punkrock 21:44, 8 November 2009 (UTC)


[edit] Rationalwiki Goat

Define more - or does it merely eat unwanted RW pages? 82.44.143.26 (talk) 19:13, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

He does many useful things. One of them is that, indeed. She also eats my homework. ħumanUser talk:Human 07:11, 23 March 2010 (UTC)


Is this [1] an appearance of RW Goat? 82.44.143.26 (talk) 15:39, 18 June 2010 (UTC)

RationalWiki does not condone the goat based vandalism of Thirt-Fourth Street. Scarlet A.pngmoral 15:52, 18 June 2010 (UTC)
I approve of that story, though the ending is sad and abrupt. WėąṣėḷőįďWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 17:49, 18 June 2010 (UTC)

[edit] Goat fortifications.

Have you ever searched for Goat Towers in Google? Pretty fun. Sen (talk) 21:09, 22 December 2010 (UTC)

[edit] You're about a quarter of a century too late.

"The domestic goat (Capra hircus) was the first animal to train humans into protecting them full-time."

Very funny, except that a now-dead rational historian beat you to the punch before most of you rational smart-asses were born:

"They [Archaic-era Americans] domesticated the dog and the turkey, or as some would have it, the dog, who knew a soft touch when he saw one, domesticated his master."

George Brown Tindall, America: A Narrative History, first ed., (New York: Norton: 1984), p. 4. SirRagingPooterTheWizardDog (talk) 01:21, 12 July 2011 (UTC)

Does Mr. Tindall claim that the dog was the first animal to domesticate its human caretakers? Picon small.pngAcer Blue 21:26, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
Sounds like someone has a problem with goats... Is there a section for goat haters? It's like racism, but with goats. TheCheatI run on alcohol 15:32, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

[edit] "Happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat"

It's a fact, I saw it in a Hugh Grant movie. And he has sex in public toilets, so his word is at least as as good as that of any US senator. VOXHUMANA 03:51, 27 June 2012 (UTC)

[edit] Has anybody ever considered what would happen...

...if cats and goats got together and goats taught cats to use tin openers? If cats could open tins of tuna on their own, there would be no need for human beans and then where would we be? (Just outside London as a matter of fact.) Going for a lie down and one of my pink pills now. Mick McT (talk) 14:12, 26 July 2012 (UTC)

There is already a significant disadvantage in cats become autonomous, because they do not have thumbs. I think that's about all they would need to start wreaking havoc... --Eira OMTG! The Goat be Praised. 06:15, 27 July 2012 (UTC)

[edit] Goats on the road

That's all Scream!! (talk) 00:22, 13 December 2013 (UTC)

[edit] Gold Status

What would it take to improve this to gold quality? More goat perhaps?ZeroIsLogic (talk) 06:04, 26 February 2014 (UTC)

This ΨΣΔξΣΓΩΙÐWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 08:13, 26 February 2014 (UTC) ---------->

[edit] Bizarre omission

No mention of goatees (whether or not point 35 of [2] still applies). 82.44.143.26 (talk) 17:28, 10 March 2014 (UTC)

[edit] Goat Simulator

Just visiting. Love the site. Just think you should include this in the Goats in Popular Culture section. It is called goat simulator ( http://goat-simulator.com/ ). It is a computer game where you play as a goat on a rampage.

[edit] Gary the Goat

It seems goats have now gotten into the comedy business. If you're in Australia you should try to catch his show.

Gary's YouTube channel — Unsigned, by: 198.178.8.81 / talk / contribs

[edit] Fresh material

(for someone more qualified than I). Abu Mohammad al-Maqdisi, the foremost jihadi thinker of our day, claims the Prophet Mohammad condemned polytheists and unbelievers who claimed eating a dead goat who died of its own was ok cause Allah provided it. From this he concludes those who believed this errant teaching, worshiped the lawmakers who changed God's law, and hence modern parliamentary democracy is no different, or something to that effect. nobsIt all depends what ISIS is. 00:09, 30 November 2014 (UTC)

[edit] Alpine ibexes

The Internet has recently discovered that the alpine ibex, a wild species of goat, will climb sheer rock walls in order to get salt deposits. They crave that mineral.—Ryūlóng (琉竜) 10:27, 10 January 2015 (UTC)

[edit] Oxford-Cambridge goat race

This was mentioned on the text services on BBC News channel today and may be of interest here. 86.153.165.177 (talk) 10:01, 12 April 2015 (UTC)

[edit] Goats and woo

There was a 'health-nut opinion/woo' a while ago that 'chlorophyll as such' was Good For You to which the rebuttal (probably in both senses) was 'The goat that lives on yonder hill, Lives all day on chlorophyll.' 31.51.113.254 (talk) 12:17, 17 April 2015 (UTC)

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