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Ted Nugent
“”"The Nuge" is a splooge.
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| —Urban Dictionary |
Ted Nugent (born 1948) was an American rock musician and raving lunatic with a fondness for wailing lead guitar, and an insatiable appetite for "underage poontang"[1][2][3][4], firearms, killing things, and dodging the draft. Now all washed up - due to the death of the record industry and not at all to do with his formulaic, derivative, unlistenable music - he is a radio DJ somewhere irrelevant. Every four years, he says, this year he'll run for Governor of Michigan, at last; the population humors him by claiming they'd support him until he decides that he's not running after all. In true stopped clock fashion, he has converted his home into a wildlife preserve and is adamant about hunting being a method of procuring food as opposed to just shooting things.
In February of 2013, World Net Daily proudly announced that the man who said "real Americans are working hard, playing hard, white motherfucking shit kickers who are independent" and that African-American rappers appearing on MTV are "big uneducated greasy black mongrels."[5] will be gracing their website once a week with his special brand of wisdom. Ted Nugent openly said he believes some non-whites are subhuman. [6]
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[edit] Home town
Ted Nugent is from that American success story, Detroit, Michigan. There is no truth to the claim Nugent single-handedly turned Detroit into its present wasteland. There's even less truth to the claim that lazy freeloaders on welfare are solely responsible for it, a claim Ted Nugent backs wholeheartedly.
[edit] Music career
Noting that guitar abuse isn't necessarily music, Nugent claimed to be the "loudest guitar in rock"– not the best, not the most talented, but the loudest. Tim Brookes doesn't seem to think so.[7] Turned down a joint from his hero Jimi Hendrix, soo uncool.
[edit] Politics
Far right.
Except when he's EXTREMELY MODERATE![8]
[edit] Something Corporal Klinger never tried to get out of the Army
According to a legend which seems to be true, Nugent avoided the draft during the Vietnam War by getting a psychological deferment. He showed up at the draft board looking and acting like he was homeless and schizophrenic. He also urinated and defecated in the pants he wore to his draft board physical. Some hold that this was not an act.[9] Deferment granted.
Naturally, he is now one of the most vocal proponents of what is popularly known as the Global War on Terror.
[edit] Onstage ranting
On 8/24/07, Rolling Stone reported "Decked out in full-on camouflage hunting gear, Nugent wielded two machine guns while raging, “Obama, he’s a piece of shit. I told him to suck on my machine gun. Hey Hillary,” he continued. “You might want to ride one of these into the sunset, you worthless bitch.”"[10]
He then got incredibly offended when the Secret Service investigated him. Making threats against presidential candidates is TOTALLY protected speech!
[edit] Homeschooling
Ted homeschooled at least one of his children for a a while, further . ... proving . . .... that . . ..... if . . . . . . .........errrr?
[edit] See also
- Grand Funk Railroad - musical contemporaries, fellow Michiganders, and sometime political kindred spirits of the Nuge, albeit even more eccentric.
[edit] External links
- Ted Nugent doing a decent version of a George Harrison tune. Go figure (and yes, it was in the '70s, when he still played the occasional good tune).
- "New Ted Nugent Cologne Tested On ‘Every Goddamn Animal We Could Find’" -- a 1998 classic from The Onion. Now read it and go punch a duck.
[edit] Footnotes
- ↑ Ted Nugent's Jailbait Problem
- ↑ Greg Abbott under fire for allying with rocker Ted Nugent
- ↑ A Clip from VH1's Behind the Music.
- ↑ Still unconvinced? Have a listen.
- ↑ http://mediamatters.org/blog/2013/02/08/nugent-says-obama-has-a-racist-agenda-after-wee/192587
- ↑ Second casino cancels Ted Nugent shows over his ‘racist remarks’
- ↑ Tim Brookes: Who Is The Loudest Guitarist?
- ↑ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urYGhhMOToU&list=UU1yBKRuGpC1tSM73A0ZjYjQ&index=7&feature=plcp
- ↑ http://www.pensitoreview.com/2007/08/28/ted-nugent-befouled-himself-to-avoid-vietnam-draf/
- ↑ http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2007/08/24/ted-nugent-threatens-to-kill-barack-obama-and-hillary-clinton-during-vicious-onstage-rant/