Arnold Schwarzenegger

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"I do not make decisions [as governor] based on what have I learned through my Bible studies, what have I learned in my religious classes in school. I'm a big believer in separation of church and state, and I think that's what; the law is."
BURN THE RINO!
Everything I have, my career, my success, my family, I owe to America.
—Arnold[1]

Arnold "The Governator" Schwarzenegger was Onan the Bavarian the governor of California, and a former Mr. Universe body builder kinda guy. He also starred in many major motion pictures, which is not to call him an actor.

He was born in Austria, making him ineligible to run for President; nonetheless, eight attempts have been made by Congress to alter if not remove the natural-born-citizen clause from the U.S. Constitution. The time frame of these attempts of course overlap with Obama's rise to prominence, and is now used—conveniently without ever mentioning Arnold, naturally—by Birthers to prove that Congress was, like, in on it, man.[2] It also makes us wonder in awe whenever he pushes for English to be the only and official language of the United States.

He has allegedly sexually harassed women. These allegations prompted Doonesbury creator Garry Trudeau to nickname him "Der Gropenfuhrer" in a comic strip arc.

At the 2004 Republican convention, he cited Richard M. Nixon as his inspiration for joining the Republican Party, which also explains a lot.[3]

He was shacked up with Maria Shriver, a Kennedy clan member. In a true display of family values, he fathered a child with a member of the household staff and kept it secret from Shriver for many years.[4]

California suffered big under his leadership, as he and the state legislature could not come to terms on the 2009 budget. Thus, as it was delayed, many state services shut down partially until the state finally agreed on a budget, which still kept the services underfunded. At one point in late summer 2009 the state issued IOUs to pay its bills. After this fiasco, Californians were ready for a change, and in a fit of hopeful nostalgia returned Moonbeam to the office in 2011. To be fair, Arnold was very much an advocate for combating climate change and governed while actually separating church from state.

In 2014, he returned to his woots roots by touting his own brand of bodybuilding supplements.[5]

[edit] Footnotes

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