Margaret Thatcher

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There is no such thing as "society," only individuals and families.
—Margaret Thatcher, not understanding 400 years of basic political philosophy[1]
If Satan lived in Britain, he would look something like this.

Margaret Thatcher was a Conservative Prime Minister of the United Kingdom during the 80s. She is known for being the UK's first, and so far only, female Prime Minister.

In many ways, Thatcher was the British equivalent of Saint Ronnie. While Reagan reaffirmed American hegemony over Grenada, she kept the Union Jack fluttering happily over a flock of penguins the strategically vital what in fortunate hindsight turned out to be potentially oil-rich[2] the otherwise completely obscure Falkland Islands.

Upon her death, the entire British left united for a street party not seen since before the Miners' Strike of 1984-1985.

Contents

[edit] Economics

Thatcher used an economic system called monetarism during her time in government, which some thought would be a good idea. It certainly was successful, if her goal was to nuke the working class[3] and destroy British industry. Unfortunately, Thatcher herself couldn't see what the fuck she was doing to everything, leading to the introduction of the poll tax. However, the poll tax was a brilliant idea, as it led to Thatcher's downfall... by her own party members.[4] The 2011 biopic The Irony Lady chalked up the coup to a couple of weak-willed men who were intimidated by/envious of Maggie.

Thatcher's economic ideas caused a marked rise in unemployment,[5] along with budget deficits (later hugely overshadowed), and a trade deficit. On the other hand, she did succeed in reducing inflation from nearly 17% to about 5%, while helping to stabilize GDP growth at about 5% growth a year.[6] She is also largely to credit (or blame, depending on your perspective) for the UK's transition to a service economy; economists are largely in agreement that a majority service-based economy is better than an industrial one, however one must ask how much of a majority is too much.

The overall picture of her economic policy can best be described as "murky." Perhaps her most devastating long-term legacy was the Big Bang,[wp] which she pawned off to New Labour and which (to the name's credit) blew up in everyone's faces in 2007. The UK's current housing crisis is also largely her doing, simply because affordable housing was too "socialist" for her.[7]

[edit] MRSA outbreak in the NHS

In 1990 the internal market was introduced by the Thatcher government. This meant that hospitals could send their patients to other hospitals, often hundreds of miles away, to obtain cheaper treatment for the patients.

However, this backfired big-time for Ol' Maggie. A patient was sent from Kettering General Hospital, Northamptonshire, to a hospital in London. This patient had been tested for and was positive with methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA). Subsequently many patients in the London hospital contracted MRSA; they were then moved out of the London hospital to other hospitals with the result that further patients were infected with MRSA.[8] The spread of MRSA was assisted by poor hospital hygiene, which had declined as a direct result of the Thatcher government's policy of contracting out (or 'outsourcing') hospital cleaning services to private companies. They were happy to take the NHS contract money, but provided sub-standard services in return. Essentially, lower wait times for more deaths.[9]

[edit] "We in Scotland"

The extent of Thatcher's overreach was exposed to the British public again in 2014, with another unintended side-effect: her spectacular ability in stoking Scottish nationalism, with the SNP using her as a scapegoat for any and all of the country's grievances.[10] Even Conservatives should agree that "being 400,000 people away from dissolving the Union" is not something you want to be remembered for.

[edit] Thatcher the liberal?

Despite her status as a ruthless (and in many ways, as shown above, utterly incompetent) politician, Thatcher displayed some tendencies of reason. On entering parliament in 1959, she soon got busy introducing a bill to force local councils to open up their meetings to the press and public. When homosexuality was decriminalised in 1967, she was one of the few Tories to vote in favour; she later legalised homosexuality in Scotland in 1981, and Northern Ireland the following year. Nonetheless, for reasons unclear, Maggie thought it would be a brilliant idea to introduce a new amendment to the UK Local Government Act 1988 (the 28th), banning local authorities from "publishing material with the intention of promoting homosexuality," or "promoting the teaching in any maintained school of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship."[11] Notably, no one was ever prosecuted under Section 28,[12] meaning that either this wasn't an actual problem in the first place, or people actively welcomed the "promotion" of homosexuality. It was eventually repealed in 2003.

Her scientific background led her to attempt to talk Reagan out of his preposterous Strategic Defense Initiative;[13] she was also the first leader of a major industrial country to warn of the dangers of global warming.[14] Her government launched two TV channels dedicated to minorities — the nationwide Channel 4, and the Welsh-language S4C. An act regulating the police put them under closer supervision, which cut down drastically the number of malicious arrests and imprisonments of the innocent which had brought parts of the force into disrepute.

Thatcher is sometimes seen as role model for feminists, for being the first female ruler of a major country (India, once run by Indira Gandhi, doesn't count, apparently). But as she argued, "I owe nothing to women's lib." Previous governments had women (Barbara Castle and Shirley Williams) in ministerial positions, and her Conservative successor John Major appointed Virginia Bottomley and Gillian Shepherd; Thatcher only had Janet Young in the cabinet, and then for just two years.

[edit] Neo-colonial offspring

In 1982 Mark Thatcher, the only son of Margaret and Denis Thatcher, competed in the Paris-Dakar Rally with minimal preparation. He and his support team (co-driver, Charlotte Verney, and their mechanic) ended up getting lost in the Sahara Desert for six days, resulting in a full-blown and highly embarrassing international rescue mission being launched. They were eventually found in the desert, 50 km from where they should have been, by an Algerian military plane. It was not the last time that he would manage to knock Mumsy off the front pages of the UK's newspapers.

The Saudi Arabian Government felt unable to place the multi-billion pound Al Yamama arms deal with Britain without going through a consultancy firm consisting of Mark Thatcher and an old school chum. "Working" for a small percentage, this resulted in a £30 million fee for Mark Thatcher's legendary — if not mythicalbusiness skills, which principally consisted of being the Prime Minister's son.

In 2005 he pleaded guilty to his part in financing an attempted coup d'état in Equatorial Guinea. While, of course, a grateful nation can only applaud the ageing playboy's single-handed effort to restore the British Empire, for some reason the residents of South Africa and Equatorial Guinea itself took a rather dimmer view. Thatcher was sentenced to a five-year custodial sentence (suspended) and ordered to pay a half-million US dollar fine.[15]

Carol Thatcher is the daughter of Margaret Thatcher. She is supposedly a journalist, but there is very little evidence of this in the UK press. She's been known to take the (gentle) piss out of her mama, allegedly. She has also been employed as a radio presenter despite having an obvious speech impediment.

[edit] Random collection of titbits

[edit] Milk Snatcher

As Minister for Education (1970-74) she stopped the free issue of milk to schoolchildren aged seven and over. This led to the often heard chant: "Margaret Thatcher, Milk Snatcher."

[edit] Cuddling up with Rupie

The Thatcher era sparked the 30-year domination of the British media by News International. It was, by all means, a success.

[edit] Living in the past

It turns out when East and West Germany were going to be reunited, Thatcher told the Soviet government to stop it.[16]

[edit] Not only living in the past, but supporting white supremacy

Until it was clear that Nelson Mandela would become President of South Africa, Thatcher tried in whatever power to prevent the end of apartheid, calling the ANC a "typical terrorist organisation."[17]

[edit] Celebrity admirers

Proving why charisma is a bad thing, Sir Mick Jagger was apparently shocked that Brits still have "all this residual resentment" towards her.[18] (Yes, this is the same frontman whose own multi-national is situated so he can pay corporate taxes of 1%.[19])

A rather more notorious admirer was Jimmy Savile.

[edit] Er...

Most newly elected Prime Ministers tend to get cracking on the problems the public voted them in to solve. Not our Maggie, though. One of her government's earliest acts was to try to import some trained dolphins to find the Loch Ness Monster.[20] Later Prime Ministers who lined up to praise her never mention this. We can't imagine why.

[edit] Is Thatcher dead yet?

Thatcher was so despised that, years before her demise, an online deathwatch titled "Is Thatcher Dead Yet?" was created so that people could learn immediately of her death. On April 8, 2013, the website finally updated.[21] News of her demise was marked by, among other things, several parties in celebration,[22] as well as a general outpouring of frothing hatred on Twitter, with #nowthatchersdead (leading some of Cher's detractors to mistakenly rejoice) and #nostatefuneral trending within an hour after her death was announced, and going strong throughout the day.

One interesting side-effect of her death was the revival of the song "Ding, Dong! The Witch Is Dead" (from 1939's The Wizard of Oz), which climbed into the top 5 of the UK charts within days of her death.[23]

[edit] External links

[edit] Footnotes

  1. Margaret Thatcher: a life in quotes, The Guardian
  2. Oil billions beckon Falkland Islands, BBC News
  3. UK inequality fastest rise of OECD countries, Reuters
  4. The Day Margaret Thatcher Resigned, CBC
  5. The overall unemployment rate during Thatcher's tenure increased from 5 to 6% with a peak of nearly 12%.
  6. All of these stats, and explanations of them, can be found in Mishkin's Macroeconomics: Policy and Practice [1]
  7. Thatcher’s legacy: A shortage of affordable housing, The Globe and Mail
  8. A major outbreak of MRSA caused by a new phage-type (EMRSA-16), PubMed
  9. Competition Can Be Fatal: Evidence From The NHS Internal Market, Royal Economic Society
  10. If Scotland votes for independence, it’ll be Margaret Thatcher’s fault, Washington Post
  11. The law effectively banned schools from telling weeping teenage bullying victims that being gay was OK, and state funded marriage counsellors from suggesting to couples in loveless marriages that one or both of them might be gay. (Thatcher was lucky that George Takei wasn't in the country.)
  12. The Section 28 battle, BBC
  13. Reagan and Thatcher: The Difficult Relationship, History Today
  14. Margaret Thatcher: an unlikely green hero?, The Guardian
  15. Margaret Thatcher 'gave her approval' to her son Mark's failed coup attempt in Equatorial Guinea, The Guardian
  16. Thanks margaretthatcher.org
  17. Nelson Mandela and Margaret Thatcher: the meeting that never was, The Guardian
  18. Mick Jagger's admiration for Maggie, The Guardian
  19. Even the OECD says it's dumb.
  20. http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/thatcher-dolphins-could-hunt-loch-574093
  21. Former Prime Minister Margeret Thatcher has died following a stroke, The Independent
  22. Margaret Thatcher's death greeted with street parties in Brixton and Glasgow, The Guardian
  23. 'Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead' closer to number one spot as it reaches top five following Margaret Thatcher's death, The Independent
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