Massage

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Against allopathy

Alternative medicine

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Alternative articles

Massage therapy is the marginally gentler sibling of chiropractic therapy. The wonderful world of sensuous masseuses and relaxing massages commonly seen on television as well as proven techniques of sports massage belies a weird, dingy and sometimes downright baffling reality full of New Agey, wooey, pseudoscientific shysters.

Contents

[edit] Types of massage

Massage is divided into a variety of "modalities", and each is rife with an unwarranted aura of self-importance. This list is broken into two sections, true massages, and therapies associated with massage. This list is non-exhaustive.

[edit] True massage

[edit] Shiatsu

This is like acupressure (though here you say ki instead of qi), but in spite of all the bullshit the session can amount to a massage that feels good. Still not worth more than 60 bucks.[1]

[edit] Sports massage

One of the more effective forms of massage, it helps to prevent build up of lactic acid in muscles, helps prevent cramps, and done correctly, aids in keeping muscles and tendons flexible.

[edit] Swedish massage

As devised by the Swede Per Henrik Ling, this is the most common and well-known form of massage. You'll find that this is quite relaxing, and may soothe some of your aches and pains. Improved circulation is also a benefit. This modality consists largely of variations on three strokes: effleurage, petrissage, and tapotement. Don't be fooled into thinking this can provide anything more than temporary relief and benefits--but it can be great for things like loosening up tight shoulders when you're tense.

[edit] Associated therapies

[edit] Acupressure

See the main article on this topic: Acupressure

Acupressure is acupuncture without the needles. Recalibrates one's "qi," a mysterious undetectable energy which apparently violates the laws of thermodynamics.[2] It must work, because it's thousands of years old, right?

[edit] Reflexology

See the main article on this topic: Reflexology

Reflexology is the practice of diagnosing and treating illness through a person's hands and feet. Reflexologists believe that all parts of the body are connected through lines, and that by treating a corresponding line on the hands or feet they can cure a person's ills. A reflexologist might claim to be able to discern that you have a liver problem by palpating the base of your arch, and further claim to be able to heal you with more focused palpation. Hopefully their finger won't slip on the rather small space available on your foot and accidentally ram the corresponding spot for your kidneys. There is no evidence for reflexology,[3] and it amounts to nothing more than an expensive foot massage. Note that in many large cities, in particular Las Vegas, if a guy wakes up in the middle of the night with any type of organ-foot related distress, no matter how implausible, there is a 24-hour reflexology shop within 5 minutes drive staffed by young, busty asian girls ready and willing to provide enthusiastic relief.

[edit] Reiki

See the main article on this topic: Reiki

Reiki was invented in 1922, making it a relatively recent development in the history of theraputic massage. It borrows from many of the principles of shiatsu and acupressure. Practitioners lay their hands on the client along "meridian lines" and "chakras" in order to fix imbalances with their "aura." Advanced practitioners claim the ability to apply their healing vibe to patients in other places and times. Controlled studies of reiki have shown it to be of no measurable benefit, other than lining the pockets of the practitioner.[4]

[edit] Structural bodywork and Rolfing

See the main article on this topic: Rolfing

The principle behind this therapy is the lengthening of muscle fascia by thixotropy (melting-fascia is a colloid). This is supposed to get rid of "chronic holding patterns" - basically bad posture - by allowing for more range of motion.[5] Structural bodyworkers and Rolfers believe most muscle pain is caused by these chronic holding patterns causing muscles to over-extend, over-contract, or whatever. This was devised by biologist Ida Pauline Rolf, but to date, there are no scientific studies to back it. And it hurts.

[edit] Trigger point therapy

Trigger points are permanent localized muscle contractions caused by injury or strain.[6] These are quite real, and treatment for serious occurrences should be left to doctors.

[edit] Evidence

In spite of the woo surrounding it, massage does have a place in evidence based medicine, especially as a treatment for psychosomatic illnesses. For an example, treating anxiety patients with massage therapies results in substantial drops in both subjective and objective measures of anxiety,[7] and it may prevent or reduce soreness from exercise[8]. In spite of some treatments being effective, one should be wary of any claims of treating specific conditions, unless recommended by a medical doctor.

[edit] Legal and medical issues

Unlike many other lines of alternative medicine, massage therapy is not all bad. It can do things like increase circulation, relax you, and provide pain relief. However, many massage therapists exaggerate their abilities and present their therapy as a cure-all.

Legally, massage therapists are bound by a strict code of ethics concerning claims they can make about their ability to diagnose diseases. Pathology education for massage therapists is meant to flag any contra-indications, but the limited information also given on how certain massage techniques can aid the infirm quite often raises the habit of thinking that massage alone can heal.

Also, on the matter of diagnosis, massage therapists may sometimes overstep their bounds and suggest to a client that they have a certain condition, even though their knowledge of the condition is limited to what they remember from a small entry in their pathology manual. Few therapists are taught with humility. With each class, their instructors reinforce the idea that massage is a powerful tool and that the students will be able to change lives.

Also, "massage parlor" is sometimes a euphemism for a brothel.

[edit] Accreditation

With respect to massage therapy, like most alternative medicine, the government faces a dilemma: legitimize it by creating legal standards for it, or not recognize it at all and, e.g., let acupuncturists use dirty needles.[9]

There are proven techniques in massage therapy which can really help people,[10] but there is also quite a bit of bullshit in the field. As an example, the National Certification Examination for Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork in the United States asks questions relating to Traditional Chinese Medicine and to Cranial-Sacral Therapy alongside questions concerning anatomy.

So, in order to become a nationally certified massage therapist, one must be familiar with a good deal of woo. Until real medical professionals step into the accreditation process and make a viable standard for all therapists to follow, the world of massage therapy will continue to be rife with pseudoscience.

[edit] Footnotes

  1. It's not like they charge everyone everywhere 60 bucks (local currency or US Dollar)
  2. Or a really bad way of explaining things.
  3. Reflexology: A Close Look Stephen Barret, M.D. Quackwatch.org
  4. Effects of reiki in clinical practice: a systematic review of randomised clinical trials
  5. Structural Bodywork, Steiner Education Group, June 2008.
  6. Travell, Janet G., and David G. Simons. Myofascial Pain and Dysfunction: the Trigger Point Manual. Baltimore: Williams & Wilkins, 1983. Print.
  7. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry: Massage Reduces Anxiety in Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Patients
  8. British Journal of Sports Medicine: Does post-exercise massage treatment reduce delayed onset muscle soreness? A systematic review
  9. http://www.reuters.com/article/2010/03/19/us-acupuncture-infection-idUSTRE62I00220100319 Acupuncture can spread serious diseases
  10. http://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/massage.html
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