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You thought I was joking about the Muntjac, right? Yeah so did I, but apparently I was wrong.
A Muntjac is a small deer.
Muntjac are nature’s loan sharks. Be aware of them at all times, because they will often attempt to outsmart you and exploit your naivety. Never accept an offer of lunch from a Muntjac, or any similar proposition. It is reasonable to assume this is the first step in a confidence trick. If you are put in this position, simply tell the Muntjac that you are late for a busy meeting. The Muntjac will be trying to give an impression of friendliness and will not press the issue. In situations where you are engaging with Muntjac who will not respect your personal boundaries, you should raise your voice and attempt to make the conflict known to those around you. Do not give the impression that you are crying for help, simply let the Muntjac become aware that you are in a public place where a hostile crime is not a wise course of action for him. Be careful to allow the Muntjac to make a dignified exit. If the Muntjac feels trapped, or that you are being aggressive towards him, he may not consider his actions rationally, and the situation may become violent.
With careful planning and a sure hand, you can reverse the power dynamic and practice deception upon a Muntjac. It is a bold maneuver that should not be attempted without prior expertise on the subject of Munjac, so do not attempt this if you are new to the concept. The key throughout is to remember that the Muntjac is inherently dishonest and so does not trust any person who appears to be misrepresenting themselves in any way. Changing your story or getting a lie wrong is a surefire way to blow any credibility you had with the Muntjac.
First of all, attempt to engage the Muntjac on a neutral topic, such as sports or soft drinks. Do not allow the Muntjac to begin any rigid theme of conversation, as you will have to lead the conversation later on, and it will be difficult to do this if the Muntjac has already launched upon a topic to talk about.
Being careful not to give signs of dishonesty, follow these steps -
- Tell the Muntjac you have arranged to meet a man in order to pay a safety deposit, but are unable to make the appointment.
- Tell the Muntjac you will pay them heavily if they remain in this location and deliver the deposit for you. The Muntjac may not believe you entirely, but it is not importance. It may even be wise to give the impression that you would not really like to leave him with your money. You only need to explain the situation and keep the Muntjac occupied for a short while.
- Allow some time to pass.
- Bring out $350 dollars, and count it. Remark in dismay that you are $50 short, and that you won't be able to pay your deposit, let alone compensate the Muntjac for his generosity.
- Incited by the appearance of real money, the Muntjac will offer to contribute the rest of the deposit. The Muntjac imagines he will leave soon after you do, and the whole sum will be his in any case.
- Agree to this. Take his money, and place it in an envelope. Then, place your own money in the envelope. At this point, exchange the envelope for another with identical appearance. This will be tricky in a physical sense, but is conceptually straightforward with the use of strong visual cues, such as the appearance of a sticky label that has been imperfectly removed.
- Allow some more time to pass.
- Thank the Muntjac for his generosity and take your leave.
There will be more Atlas Shrugged tomorrow. Next week: squirrels, and their nationalist tendencies.
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