Dog

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If you are a dyslexic agnostic, you might be looking for god.[1]
So many people get reformed through religion. I got reformed through dogs.
—Lina Basquette, star of The Godless Girl, who bred and judged Great Danes after retiring from silent films
A common chihuahua gettin wuvved on cuz he's a good boy... yes he is!

The domestic dog (canis lupus familiaris) is the most widely kept companion animal in human history, although more homes in the United States own cats.[2] Dogs are commonly referred to as "man's best friend," due to their versatility and their fawning nature, but they still have a lot of disgusting habits, like eating their own (and any other) feces or vomit,[3] that are best not graphically described (oops). In view of their power, strength, speed, agility, voracity, and sharp claws and teeth, making an enemy out of a dog -- especially a large dog -- is a gigantic blunder.

Contents

[edit] History of human domestication by dogs

Wook at his widdle face!!
Dog, n.: Not a cat.
Blackadder III

Modern dogs are generally believed to have genetically diverged from their wolf ancestors roughly 13,000 years ago.[4] It is not known whether this was a result of humans actively domesticating the wolf (artificial selection), or rather the result of evolutionary pressure that favored canines who were less frightened by, and therefore more willing to approach, humans (which would be natural selection). It is quite possible that it was a combination of both factors, with wolves being naturally selected to evolve into something similar to so-called "village dogs" (that are domesticated but not really owned), before being selectively bred from there. In any event, the relationship between dogs and humans greatly improved the chances of survival for both and brought them together in the situation they are in now.

Over time, the selective breeding of canines by man has resulted in the many different breeds of dog that we know today. Dogs (Canis lupus familiaris), gray wolves (C. lupus) and dingos (C. lupus dingo) are currently regarded as all being the same species. Red wolves (C. rufus) and coyotes (C. latrans) are currently regarded as different species, but all can interbreed and produce fertile offspring. It'll probably change again. It should be noted that dingos are the descendants of mostly-domesticated dogs that, independently of humans, migrated to Australia and became feral.

Cats dispute these theories, but have offered no evidence to support their beliefs and refuse all entreaties to debate the point logically, instead remaining generally aloof and condescending.

[edit] Vaccination woo

Canine Health Concern, a pet "charity," has alleged that greedy drug companies and veterinarians have been trying to scare dog owners into vaccinating their pets more than necessary, warning that conditions such as epilepsy and autism may have developed in puppies as a result of over-vaccination.[5] There is no evidence whatsoever to back up this claim, and other animal charities have found no link between the onset of these conditions and recommended pet vaccinations. They also maintain that these vaccinations have been thoroughly tested for safety and are vital to pets’ health.

Please have your dog vaccinated. Seriously.

[edit] What they eat

A potentially useful canine

Dogs will eat practically anything. They work on the principle that it's best to eat everything they encounter, because if it turns out not to be food they can just gack it up on the carpet.

This doesn't mean they should eat everything. Chocolate, onions, ginger, and grapes are examples of foodstuffs which are generally harmless to humans but not at all good for dogs. However, despite various scary stories, if your dog eats a half a gram of chocolate or licks a grape it will probably not keel over and die. The dose makes the poison.

As with people food, a number of dog food companies have tried to distinguish their product as all natural or organic or free of GMOs; Blue Buffalo is one such company. A site called Dog Food Advisor[6] condemns practically every major national brand of dog food to perdition on the basis of ingredients they don't like, which seems to include every grain product under the sun. Similarly, Pet Food Advisor[7] seems to feel that food allergies are super commonplace among dogs, and that any grain consumption by dogs is bad because their saliva lacks amylase -- although potato ingredients, which are just as starchy, seem to be fine for some reason.[8]

[edit] Dogs in dogma

In Judaism and Islam, dogs are considered unclean (but hey, what isn't?[9])

[edit] It shouldn't happen to a...

  • In 1998, two teenaged Boy Scout counsellors were fired for killing a dog. Unconfirmed reports suggest they had caught a stray, hung it by the neck from a tree, slit its throat and then pelted it with stones until it was dead. (Alternative suggestions are that others hung the dog and the counsellors put it out of its misery or that the counsellors killed a stray dog that looked about to attack.) Whatever the case, what happened was sufficiently serious to get the boys fired. This wouldn't be newsworthy except for the fact that one of the teenagers was the youngest son of the then-first-term governor of Arkansas, Mike Huckabee, and that Da Guv allegedly used his influence to keep law enforcement from investigating the case.[10] Fuck you.
  • In 1983, a certain man by the name of Mitt Romney put his Irish setter in a dog carrier, strapped the dog carrier to the roof of the family station wagon, and started out on a twelve-hour drive from Massachusetts to Ontario for a family vacation. The cops pulled the Romneys over as the poor dog brought to life the sayings "scared the shit out of him" and "the shit will fly" all along the freeway. Recently, the neologism "Romney" was created to mean "to defecate in terror."

[edit] See also

Icon fun.svg For those of you in the mood, RationalWiki has a fun article about Dog.

[edit] External links

[edit] Footnotes

  1. Well... actually, contrary to popular belief, words don't appear backwards to most people with dyslexia. Check out the other wiki for more information.
  2. http://vetmedicine.about.com/cs/diseasesall/a/aa051303a.htm
  3. See Proverbs 26:11
  4. 1000 Inventions and Discoveries, Roger Bridgman. (Note that this is over twice the age of the Earth, if you believe in Young Earth creationism.)
  5. Daily Mail article: “Vaccines ‘are making our dogs sick as vets cash in’”
  6. http://www.dogfoodadvisor.com
  7. http://petfoodadvisor.net/
  8. Their site also includes a video promoting "Mercola Healthy Pets," so take that as you will.
  9. See the Wikipedia article on Islam and animals.
  10. Snopes.com article
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