Utah

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Is that a penis between the trains?

Utah is a state in the United States that was founded by Mormons, who were driven to the southwestern desert region by intolerant Christians.

Famously, the Mormons had to pretend to give up polygamy in order to get Utah admitted to the Union.

The most notable Mormon in recent events is one Mitt "Mittens" Romney, former governor of Massachusetts and recent GOP presidential hopeful. Except for a short stint whipping the Salt Lake City Olympics into shape, Mitt has never actually lived in Utah.

Utah is notorious for having the largest concentration of poor Republicans in the country (around Provo and American Fork particularly) as well as being the largest per capita consumers of Jello and Prozac. Their Dutch oven cooking is pretty awesome though.

Contents

[edit] Indigenous creatures

  • Mormons
  • Ski bums
  • Desert rats
  • Jack Mormons
  • Whacky fundamentalist Mormon splinter groups
  • The steady stream of gamblers who clog I-80 west to the casinos in West Wendover, Nevada, every weekend
  • The steady stream of gamblers who clog I-80 east to the Wyoming Downs Racetrack and OTB Parlor in Evanston, Wyoming.

[edit] Fun facts

70px-Utah SR 128.png
  • Utah's state highway sign is supposed to look like a beehive, an homage to the state's nickname, The Beehive State, as well as Utah's original name, "Deseret," which supposedly means "honeybee" in the language of the Nephites, a tribe in the Book of Mormon. In reality, it just kind of looks like a ribbed condom with a hole in it, possibly an expression of the Mormon church attitude toward birth control.
  • You can't detonate nuclear bombs in Utah[1] (if you somehow manage to legally own one).
  • Utah is the only state where a church-owned university has the largest enrollment. Brigham Young University has about 35,000 students, while the University of Utah (the state's second largest school) has about 29,000 students.
  • Of the five states that were originally independent countries before joining the Union (the other four being Hawaii, Texas, Vermont, and California), Utah is the only one that was at war with the United States at any point before joining[2] - prior to annexation the Mormon inhabitants waged a low-intensity guerrilla conflict known as the 'Mormon War' or 'Utah War' against American interests in the area. The war had no full-scale battles and mostly consisted of Mormon militias killing American civilians and seizing their property.
  • Fort Douglas, the army base outside of Salt Lake City, was originally founded to discourage secessionist tendencies in the Mormon population, and is the only fort ever constructed in an American city whose guns point down at the city rather than away from it.

[edit] See also

[edit] External links

[edit] Footnotes

  1. http://www.stupidlaws.com/it-is-illegal-to-detonate-any-nuclear-weapon/
  2. Excluding, of course, Vermont's long-simmering guerrilla conflict against New York before the American Revolution
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