Virginia is a
state, ahem, commonwealth in the United States of el norte amerigo, named after some tramp trying to whitewash her reputation.
 The two Virginias
Virginia is actually two different states, although between them they must still share two Senators:
- The real Virginia, which is part of the real America and is more Southern in nature, if you will.
- The fake Virginia, which is also known as the Socialist People's Republic of Northern Virginia, consisting of Arlington, Fairfax, Alexandria, Falls Church, Reston, Ashburn, and the surrounding environs.
Virginia is the location of Jamestown, the first permanent English settlement in America.
- Yes, Virginia, there is no Santa Claus.
- Catholic girls start much too late.
Virginia was one of the original thirteen colonies to escape British tyranny and form the fledgling United States. It traitorously deserted the Union in 1861 to join the Confederacy. This cost them the territory of West Virginia, where the population were more patriotic (and would rather burn couches than crosses). However, in the aftermath of losing the Civil War that ensued, Virginia once more became the proud and stalwart owner of a star on Old Glory, and home to large numbers of U.S. Government offices and employees.
Given the contemporary reputation of West Virginia, many Virginians feel that it is only right and proper that West Virginia is the southernmost state in Yankee territory, and no longer affiliated with the Old Dominion.
The Roxy Music song Virginia Plain has nothing to do with this Virginia. Neither, in fact, does the statement above, under "mythology".
Leave Virginia alone, she's not like you and me.
Education, especially universities, in Virginia is a tale of two extremes. Many of its public colleges and universities are considered amongst the best in the nation, private universities, however, are a mixed bag. Here is a guide:
- University of Virginia
- Virginia Tech
- College of William and Mary
- Virginia Commonwealth University
- George Mason University
- University of Mary Washington
- Mary Baldwin College
- Virginia Military Institute
- Christopher Newport University
- Radford University
- Longwood University
Though Virginia is classified as a Bible Belt state, it is actually home to two great extremes: The southern part of Virginia is home to Jerry Falwell, Liberty University, and generally rampant fundamentalism. Northern Virginia is home to godless liberal communists who commute to Washington DC. Each is equally ashamed of the other and wish to become an independent nation.
- Wacky terbacky
- Commuters to Washington, D.C.
- Slugs (a peculiar subspecies of said commuters to Washington, D.C. that don't feel like paying for the bus)
- Firearms. Virginia is a conveniently located place to easily purchase guns to sell in northeastern cities, where they are typically heavily regulated.
- Bruce Hornsby and the Range
|The Bible Belt|
| Alabama - Arkansas - Florida - Georgia |
Kansas - Kentucky - Louisiana - Mississippi
Missouri - North Carolina - Oklahoma - South Carolina
Tennessee - Texas - Virginia - West Virginia - Jesusland