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from Tmtoulouse (Talk), group Site wide (urgent) at 15:23, 18 April 2014

Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?

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Keep up to date with what is going on at the extremist blog Conservapedia with our rolling reports of the bizarre happenings there. We report; you decide which entries make it to the Best of Conservapedia! If you are contributing for the first time please read the instruction manual. For the older entries, see the archives.

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What is going on?

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[edit] April 2014

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26The Demyer Test for political suitability: How do candidates respond to having shoes thrown at them?img
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19Conservapedia on April 6th:
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221,300,000 views at Conservapedia in March 2014! 8th best number of views in a March since 2007! More views than io.wikipedia.org! (you know, the Wikipedia written in Ido, a fork of Esperanto....)

[edit] March 2014

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41The real reason Crimea joined Russia? To avoid same-sex marriage!img

[edit] February 2014

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45Andy: The latest story from CNN gives as an example a 10-month-old child, who would instinctively fight any overt attempt at euthanasia (just as an unborn child does).img

The source which he claims to have read: Mother Linda van Roy, from Schilde, Belgium, is among those backing the bill. She could do nothing to help her terminally ill baby, Ella-Louise, in the last hours of her life. Ella-Louise, who was 10 months old when she died just over two years ago, would never have qualified for euthanasia. ... That's why she's campaigning for a change to Belgium's euthanasia laws, to give the choice of ending their suffering to older children whose bodies are wracked with pain.

No surprise that his course on writingimg was terminated prematurely...

[edit] January 2014

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49Detective Schlafly finds a new mystery: why have liberals turned against Justin Bieber?img
With his amazing skills of deduction, he solves the case: 'cuz Bieber's pro-life.
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58Andyland: Conservapedia proven right! Hawking says black holes don't exist!img
Reality: Of course there's black holes; Hawking just thinks they might be grey.
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42Andy's anti-intellectualism on display: "eloquent wisdom" now equals "liberal claptrap."img
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42Conservapedia proven rightimg as Overrated Sports Star Tom Brady falls in defeat... to even more Overrated Sports Star Peyton Manning.
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92Andy takes his misunderstanding of physics to a whole new level:
"uncertainty principle: an underlying chaos (uncertainty) at the atomic level in the physical world after the Fall of man, which renders a perpetual motion machine and life beyond 120 years impossible"img.
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17 Ken wins his latest argument with the evolutionistsimg. Admit it. The man in the picture is pretty fat. You can't explain that!
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30Andy: "Evil contributes to the reasons why non-conservatives exist"img

[edit] December 2013

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65Another Schlafly Insight™: Jesus preached about multiplication of negative numbersimg.
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24Proving that he has no idea what irony is, Karajou uses a tongue-in-cheek Fox opinion piece to claim that Santa is white conservative.img
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37Fresh from his "South Africa was better under apartheid" spiel, Andy declares Phil "Blacks were happy under segregation" Robertson to be his "Conservative of the Year.img
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48Kevin Durant is only #4 in terms of NBA t-shirt sales, because liberals hate Christians.img User: this is why his jersey sales make senseimg (city size, achievements);
Andy:
Tumbleweed.gif
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89Schlafly: Damn those liberals for screwing up South Africa by demanding that apartheid end.img
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20Looking for a shorter version of this article? Just skim it!img Thanks, Andy.

[edit] November 2013

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37Oh, these damned liberals and their relentless cry for tough justice!img
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-20A (presumably suicidal) user asks one of the "hot button" embarrassing questions on the main talk page. How does Andy burn it without arousing anyone's notice? Karajou would just revert it. Ken would oversight it. But Andy vapes it incidentally to a wish for a happy and blessed Thanksgivingimg. Deceit, thy name is Andy.
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28So, you're an offensive lineman, who "toils in obscurity from the media" and you're called Richie Incognito. That's more proof of God's wacky sense of humour.img
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-48Andy: "Reminder: clocks are set back one hour tonight (except in a few locations)."img - you know, like Europe....

[edit] October 2013

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92User: Injecting religion in public schools is wrongimg.

Karajou: The worst things that happened in public schools before (the Engel v. Vitale and Murray v. Curlett Supreme Court cases prohibiting forced Bible reading and prayer in public schools) was chewing gum and running in the hallways. Look what's happening now.img And I demand that YOU WILL SHOW ME ALL OF THE SCHOOL SHOOTINGS before those court decisions. And you only have a few hours to round it all up. (Actually his "deadline" was 15 minutes.)

User: here you go!img Giving a link to a video of him doing a "let me google that for you" search. The Wikipedia article lists over 110 shootings from 1764 to 1961.

Karajou: where's the documentation? Any clown can write a list on Wikipedia; where's the source material?img. And, of course, Karajou's usual "This 'debate' is over."
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62Andy: "Thank you, atheists who destroyed public schools:img U.S. adults rank 21st out of 23 developed nations in math skills." If it is about atheists, why is the U.S. ranked behind countries like France, Germany and the United Kingdomimg?
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56Conservapedia proven right again!img Andy now takes credit whenever there is an earthquake.
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25Apparently not liking the Affordable Care Act and still voting so that the US economy isn't a giant clusterfuck is a contradiction.img

[edit] September 2013

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20Doctor Babyshakes pulls on his grave dancing shoes.img
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27You can't expect self-centered liberal wording to grow, unlike selfless conservative terms.img You know, like "transistor."
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50According to Andy, the decline of the word "conservatism" supports the thesis that conservative words are rapidly increasing.img
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108Now it is really Kenservapedia: in August 2013, Ken not only was responsible for more than half of all revisions (nearly 2000 out of ca. 3,500), he created more than half of the edits which are still in the database at the end of the month (nearly 1,600 out of 2,700 still accessible edits). Kengratulations!

[edit] August 2013

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52Ed Logic: Oops, Typo!img There, all fixed!img *facepalm*
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17The Farmer's Almanacimg is addition #4728291 to the lamestream media.
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13Andy rejects the notion that some divine powers described in the Bible will never be replicated by human technology or science. So Andy believes that the earth will never run out of food.img
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38Conservative makes ad-hominem attack on pro-choice activists.img Apparently, the activists are the ones without any real arguments.
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38The lamestream media covers up a storyimg, says Andy, quoting a story from the BBC.
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16One wonders why the far right didn't secede on March 5, 1797. Oh right. More cretinous open trolling from Ken: Calvin Coolidge was the US's most recent conservative President or maybe it was George Washington.img

[edit] July 2013

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3Yeah,img and more Americans believed that George Bush should lead the country than John Kerry, were they correct?
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-1Ken: It's either détente or eating the bitter fruit that evolution has producedimg. But then again, evolution has also produced the human sense of taste and sweet fruits.
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-41Because creepy ass cracker has a racial element.img
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138"Jesus would never be given tenure no matter how much he walked on water."img Probably because "walking on water" isn't a subject.
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82You know you block too much when Karajou tells you to stop.img
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87On the eve of another perfect doublingimg...
User: "This wordimg comes from an earlier version"
Andy: "No noimg, it doesn't count if it isn't an -ismimg"
User: "Ok, here's an -ismimg"
Andy: "No noimg, we mustn't use the philosophical version"
User: "Well, here's the correct date for the non-philosophical versionimg"
Andy: "... bugger. " *AHEM*(minor-trim)img*AHEM*

[edit] June 2013

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36Andy: "We have a significant number of international visitors"img. No, you don't.
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60Andy: "Will Obama try to bully conservative Russia into handing over his nemesis?"img
Obama: "Nah."
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59Bill O'Reilly was never a conservative.img
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59According to Andy, the Miami Heat are underachievers for "barely winning"img their second consecutive NBA championship.
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108I'll see your parodyimg and raise you my insanityimg. Oh, Schlafly, you spoil us.
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53Yes.img
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0Ken definitively goes backimg on his word.img

[edit] May 2013

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-23Hhmh...It's hard to "recreate an account" when you're blocked forever,img and it's hard to troll when you have no contributions.img But that's no excuse to to shove them "back to the kitchen!img....Or so says Karajou.
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59Andy doesn't get the oldest pun in historyimg: אָדָם is Adam is man is mankind.
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209AugustOimg (quoting Matthew 6:6): But you, when you pray, go into your private room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father Who is hidden, and your Father, who sees in a hidden manner, will reward you openly.
Andy: "This quote is taken out of context. Why didn't you include the context, by which Jesus was urging people not to be like liberals?"img
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196Andrew Schlafly : I will now personally pray for the Oklahoma victimsimg! Andrew Schlafly, four minutes later: Doneimg! - this praying business seems to be very time-efficient, compared with donating - or actually helping...
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128Why show compassion and donateimg for Oklahoma's tornado victims, when the better suggestion is to just prayimg?
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60Andy jumps for joy as Conservapedia is proven right... about a triple murderimg. Also, waiting for all the facts to come in is just liberal denialimg.
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50Keniverse: Paul Kurtz was murdered "at the hand of his fellow atheists", which is why, seven months later, some churches have been vandalizedimg. "Et tu, Bruti?" (real quote from Ken) Reality: He died of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease next to his son.
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0 Aside from the usual nutcasery, Conservative takes five edits to make something that is still spelt wrong.img
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-12 You don't tell User 188img what is or isn't an appropriate username.img MethIsGreat apologized for saying kickassimg (was on a 4-day bender), it's time to accept him/her as part of the community. (Surely he's not a vandal, but simply a big fan of crooner Johnny Methis.)
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62 DTSavage asks a question that Conservative won't be able to answer.img Conservative's response: Your question is insincere because Shockofgod.img


[edit] Footnotes

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