Washington, D.C. (District of Columbia), usually referred to as just "DC" or "The District" (by those in the DC Metro area) or "Washington" is a federal district wedged between northern Virginia and Maryland, and the capital of the United States. The Executive offices, Supreme Court, and Legislative Capitol Building are all located there.
Washington is an anomaly in many ways:
- It has no representation in the Congress, despite clearly being a part of the U.S. In spite of this, it still has three votes in the Electoral College, as if it were a small state.
- It is a planned city on a coast renowned for horribly unplanned cities (with the exception of Manhattan). This, however, doesn't make much difference as the downtown grid is covered with avenues slashing across at odd angles, turning a sensible layout into an insane patchwork of zig-zags. There is a Washington, D.C. street design conspiracy theory about this odd layout.
- It is literally built on a swamp, making for really nasty humidity in the summer.
- Despite enormous amounts of money passing through it, a majority of its inhabitants are poor minorities.
- The Moonies own one of their two daily newspapers.
- If you look at a map showing D.C. and its surrounding area, you will notice that Washington along with the cities of Arlington and Alexandria, Virginia, look like a diamond road sign. This is because in its original plan the District of Columbia straddled the Potomac River with Arlington and Alexandria incorporated into the District. These cities were returned to Virginia on 9 July 1846.
Washington, D.C. has a population of 581,530 crammed within 61.4 miles², not including a daily influx of 5,358,282 visitors attempting to photograph the cherry blossoms.
A somewhat alternative version of the design, building and expansion of the district is presented by David Ovason in his book, The Secret Architecture of our Nation's Capital: The Masons and the Building of Washington D.C.,
- The Beltway
- That stinking hole of corruption and depravity
 The site of major (and minor) protests
Over the decades Washington D.C. has been the site of major protests and marches. These include:
- June/July 1932 - Bonus Army - World War I veterans marched and protested to demand the payment of their bonus from WWI early, which was not due them until 1945 but badly needed during the Great Depression. Some of the Bonus Army marchers stuck around in makeshift camps and wouldn't leave until late July when troops led by soon-to-be-WWII-heroes Gens. MacArthur and Patton forcibly evicted them with bayonets and riot control gas. President Herbert Hoover ordered the assault stopped but MacArthur ignored him.
- August 28, 1963 - March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom. This is where Martin Luther King Jr. gave his "I Have a Dream" speech (probably the most important Civil Rights march in US history).
- November 15, 1969 - National Mobilization to End the War. Anti-war groups from across the nation (the United States) came to D.C. to march, party, and get gassed (both by their own doing and by the cops...), though not necessary in that order, protesting the war in Vietnam. 
- September 19, 1981, Solidarity Day March. Various union groups organized a march to protest Reaganomics. 
- March 26, 1991 - A wide variety of anti-war, union, and worker groups came to protest against U.S. involvement in the First Bush Gulf War. 
- October 16, 1995 - Million Man March, organized by Louis Farrakhan of the Nation of Islam (may not have actually had one million men show up).
- October 4, 1997 - Promise Keepers shows up at the mall to "Stand in the Gap" and promise to, well, something. Nobody is quite sure what but it had something to do with this.
- 2002-2007 - too many protests to count against the Iraq War organized by one of two rival antiwar groups, the ANSWER coalition and United for Peace and Justice. Several of these were quite large and drew in excess of 100,000 people. The ANSWER protests drew criticism for their lineup of flaky speakers trying to inject every other possible issue into the protest ("free the Cuban Five", "independence for Puerto Rico", "free Mumia", Palestinian and immigrant rights issues, ad nauseam) instead of keeping it focused on opposing the war. The more mainstream UFPJ's protests were better received.
- September 12, 2009 - Tea Partiers show up en masse to party. Organizers make wild claims of 600,000 to 2 million in attendance, but the D.C. Fire Department estimated 60,000 to "in excess of 75,000". The date was based on the 9/12 Movement, one of Glenn Beck's concoctions.
 Notable imports
- Slugs commuting in from Fake Virginia and Maryland
- Your tax dollars
- Steelers fans packing the Redskins stadium to embarrass them on their home turf
 Notable exports
- Minor Threat, punk band and inspiration for the straight edge movement
- Fugazi, and almost everybody on Dischord Records
- Angel, worst hair metal band ever
- The Blackbyrds, a pretty good R&B vocal group from the 1970s ("Walking in Rhythm", "Rock Creek Park")
- Frequent scandals and the like
 See also
- ↑ By the unwashed heathens in other, lesser parts of the country, except for that state in the Pacific Northwest and its neighbors to the south and to the east, where people use "Washington" when referring to The State of, and "D.C." for That One-Time Malarial Swamp on the Banks of the Potomac.
- ↑ See, Boston, which city's roads were laid out on random cowpaths, according to local legend.
- ↑ It is a perfect square. Each side is ten miles (16 km) long.
- ↑ See the Wikipedia article on Arlington County, Virginia.
- ↑ See the Wikipedia article on Alexandria, Virginia.
- ↑ http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/11000.html
- ↑ Ovason, David, The Secret Architecture of our Nation's Capital: The Masons and the Building of Washington D.C., Perennial NY 2000
- ↑ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vietnam_Moratorium
- ↑ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solidarity_Day_march
- ↑ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:RebIWW2.jpg