Bronze-level articleZombies

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Can such things be?


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The Twilight Zone
All we want to do is eat your brains

We're not unreasonable, I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains

We're at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise[.]
—Re: Your Brains[1]
That's the thing about zombies. They don't adapt and they don't think. Literally, you could have a zombie on one side of a chain link fence and you could be on the other side and they could be trying to get to you and six feet down could be an open door and they will not go through that door in the fence. That's why they're so scary.
—Max Brooks[2]

Zombies are the "walking dead". They are a core aspect of popular culture but also make appearances in both real life phenomena and in the Bible.


[edit] Real zombies?

According to Vodou, the dead can be raised by a sorcerer and kept either in a trance or as a slave. Starting in the 1930s and continuing through most of the 20th century, some people believed that this was based on fact. Starting with accounts of Haitian folklore by Zora Neale Hurston in 1937 and made famous by Wade Davis' 1985 book The Serpent and the Rainbow, it was believed that zombies could be made by poisoning people with tetrodotoxin, the poisonous substance found in pufferfish. The poison would be administered and make the victim appear dead, and due to the climate in Haiti which would lead to a rotting corpse within days, if not hours, burial would be swift — often without checking if the body was actually dead. Following this, Vodou magicians would find and exhume the body, reviving it to zombie-like state.

The assertions by folklore researchers that real zombies have been roaming around in Haiti has been repeatedly criticised by science, not least raising the numerous factual inaccuracies in The Serpent and the Rainbow.[3][4] The symptoms of tetrodotoxin poisoning are well known — and while they include nausea, paralysis and eventual death — "death-like trances" and "zombification" are not listed. Mainstream science theorises that the claims regarding real zombies are far-fetched and that the "case-reports" from Haiti can be explained by the deep cultural meaning of Vodou in the country — that expectations of what the Witch Doctors can do are enough to induce trances in their victims, rather that any clinical effect due to tetrodotoxin or any other chemical that they may be brewing up to create zombie slaves. The most complex part of the powders, part of a recently deceased child's brain was not investigated because none of the scientists felt like being remembered as a super villain by their peers. More importantly drugs made out of dead people (particularly children) are notoriously hard to sell legally; unless it's non-synthetic Human growth hormone taken from cadavers.

[edit] Conspiracy theories

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in the U.S. have released a number of humorous "zombie warnings;" some people took them seriously, thus requiring the CDC to make an official denial of the existence of zombies. This did not appear to satisfy certain writers at the Huffington Post.[5]

Rumors that HR-8791, the Homeland Terrorism Preparedness Bill, is being drawn up in the event of a zombie apocalypse are completely untrue. (It's The Onion, for starters; any real zombie plan is likely deep in the bowels of the Pentagon or an Executive Order, not being read aloud on C-SPAN.)[6]

[edit] Future evolution

There may be an amoeba which may eventually evolve into zombies. The brain-eating Naegleria fowleri is able to swim into its host's body, sneak through to the brain via the olfactory nerve, and eat neurons.[7] The neti pot is one way to help these zombies find some lunch. Fortunately, it took humans a billion years to go from a single cell to their current state.[8] So you can come out of your foxhole.

[edit] Zombies in the Bible

And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent; And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.

Matthew 27:51-53

The big question remains: What did the zombies do after their waltz through town? Go back and rebury themselves? Live on forever (shut up, Larry King haters)? Start Cannibal Corpse? Some consider it odd that the writers of the time did not consider an invasion of zombie saints to be an event worth recording.

As usual, the ever-reliable Thomas Paine provides a great critique of this account:[9]

The book ascribed to Matthew says that there was darkness all over the land from the sixth hour to the ninth hour-that the veil of the temple was rent in twain from top to bottom — that there was an earthquake — that the rocks rent — that the graves opened, that the bodies of many saints that slept arose and came out of their graves after the resurrection, and went into the holy city and appeared to many. Such is the account which this dashing writer of the book of Matthew gives, but in which he is not supported by the writers of the other books.
The writer of the book ascribed to Mark, in detailing the circumstances of the crucifixion, makes no mention of any earthquake, nor of the rocks rending, nor of the graves opening, nor of the dead man walking out. The writer of the book of Luke is silent also on the same points. And as to the writer of the book of John, though he details the circumstances of the crucifixion down to the burial of Christ, he says nothing about either the darkness, the veil of the temple, the earthquake, the rocks, the graves, nor the dead men…
It is an easy thing to tell a lie, but it is difficult to support the lie after it is told. The writer of the book of Matthew should have told us who the saints were that came to life again and went into the city, and what became of them afterwards, and who it was that saw them — for he is not hardy enough to say that he saw them himself — whether they came fully dressed and where they got their dresses; whether they went to their former habitation and reclaimed their wives, their husbands and their property, and how they were received, whether they entered ejectments for the recovery of their possessions or whether they died again, or went back to their graves alive and buried themselves. Strange indeed that an army of saints should return to life and nobody knew who they were, or who it was that saw them, and that not a word more should be said upon the subject, nor these saints have anything to tell us!"

[edit] Zombie Apocalypse

In popular culture, a zombie is a being that rose from the dead or a human turned into a zombie by a virus. If a zombie bites you, you turn into a zombie. Most zombies are very dumb and shamble around and waddle after any human they see. The best way to kill a zombie is to shoot it in the face or behead it.

The Zombie Apocalypse has been a staple of post-apocalyptic film and fiction. It is thought that the origins trace back to the 1954 novel I Am Legend by Richard Matheson (Great book, mediocre movie — though The Omega Man was loosely based on this novel, and the first screen adaptation, The Last Man on Earth, was the closest to the original book). Though the monsters in the novel were not Zombies in the strictest sense, and were indeed based more on vampire legends than the modern concept of the zombie, it began a genre which is usually defined by the following hallmarks:

  • A virus, either synthetic or natural, that causes zombification
  • Alternatively, hell being filled to capacity, and the souls of the damned returning to their human bodies to cause hell on Earth
  • Worldwide (sometimes localised) societal destruction
  • A single survivor or small faction of survivors
  • Gore
  • Zombies

Modern incarnations of the Zombie Apocalypse theme are usually associated with George Romero who produced and directed Night of Living Dead (1968, later remade), and continued with Dawn of the Dead (1978, also later remade), Day of the Dead (2004, ditto), Land of the Dead (2004), Diary of the Dead (2008), and Survival of the Dead (2009). Other notable Zombie Apocalypse films include the British 28 Days Later (2002, which spawned the 2007 sequel 28 Weeks Later) and the Spanish REC (2007, remade in the USA in 2008 as Quarantine). In Romero movies and some others, the zombies are always "shufflers" that move and stumble at a walking pace, while in other films (particularly modern ones), they are "runners" that can move as fast as, if not faster than, a normal human. Purists state that shufflers are scarier because they create a sense of an impending, unstoppable doom, while others believe the runners are scarier because the threat gets up in your face. But really, who cares?

[edit] Handy hints for surviving a Zombie Apocalypse

  • Arm yourself to the teeth.
  • If someone is bitten, DO NOT, under any circumstances, take them with you. Either shoot them while they're still human or just leave them behind. They will turn, and they will attack you.
  • If you run into a small band of survivors they will most likely be former soldiers who will either want to kill you for your woman and supplies or will be set on creating a new society where the "mistakes" of the past are not repeated — be on your guard.
  • Zombies travel in packs — where you see one you can be sure others are nearby.
  • While zombies are slow moving and seemingly easy to outrun be aware that they will ambush you when you least expect it.
  • Swords and axes get stuck in zombie guts. A baseball bat, club, or other blunt weapon is your best bet.
  • Zombies can sustain massive injuries, such as losing limbs and vital organs. The only fool-proof way of killing a zombie is by destroying the brain with a blunt instrument, or a big fuckin' gun.
  • Once you have barricaded yourself into a safe place one of your party will go nuts and will try to hurt you. Make sure you keep a weapon handy.
  • Popular myth has proven that plants can and do repel zombies.
  • Double tap. Remember, they're already walking corpses. There's no indicator for when you've actually re-killed them, and so you need to make sure they're dead. Ammo conservation be damned!
  • Remember — there is no hope.

[edit] Preparedness

Zombies could defeat mankind [10] and we are unprepared. At least one UK city is unprepared for a Zombie invasion![11] The threat is indeed real! 200 dead zombies invaded Leicester on 18 June 2011. [12] Leicester had advanced warning but still failed to act![13]And a similar attack had already happened in Times Square! [14] Are you better prepared?

[edit] See also

Icon fun.svg For those of you in the mood, RationalWiki has a fun article about Zombies.

[edit] External links

[edit] Zombie movies

White Zombie (1932) was the first Zombie movie. At first there were few zombie movies (only a handful in the 1930s and 1940s). Now, just like zombies, they have proliferated and there are many among us. There are now countless zombie-themed movies and TV shows each year.[15]

[edit] Footnotes

  3. Booth, W. (1988), “Voodoo Science”, Science, 240: 274-277.
  4. Hines, Terence; "Zombies and Tetrodotoxin"; Skeptical Inquirer; May/June 2008; Volume 32, Issue 3; Pages 60-62.
  6. The Onion: "(Classified) Bill Defends Against Flesh-Eating (Classified)."
  8. Richard Dawkins puts the common ancestor of humans and collared flagellates at 900 million years ago.
  9. Paine, Thomas; The Age of Reason p202-205
  11. Leicester City Council 'not ready' for zombie attack
  12. Zombie fans invade 'unprepared' Leicester
  13. Zombie enthusiasts plan to 'attack' Leicester
  14. Zombies take over Times Square
  15. IMDB search on zombie
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