User:Skynet

Skynet is really a semi-aware, fully sentient androgynous female humanoid entity from the hot core of Jupiter; and not the death-dealing mega-computer of SF lore. I regard myself as an interplanetary anthropologist here to learn.

About Jupiter
People say all sorts of things about living on Jupiter but it's really a nice place. At the core, where all the really really hip people live, we've got cool stuff like hydrogen with is compressed into a metal which you can use to play Garrng. Well, you can if you know what you're doing anyway. I'm sure you know what I mean.

Then there's the stuff you can do on the "surface", well, it's not really a "surface" in the way that you earthling would understand it but there are areas where the density changes so you've got to adjust your mass and density and things to move up and down and everything. But here I am babbling along telling you things you already know, I've got to get back to my studies. Catch you all later. Hugs and kisses. Your new friend, Sky.

About me
I'm sure that you all want to know lots more about me. After all, how many aliens do you meet in a week? Lots? Oh. :-(  ... Well, never mind, I'm just another one then. I don't really have a set shape but I can take any shape I like. After a conversation on the wiki I've decided that I need fingers. And your article chastity belt made me decide to have a female anatomy though I found the chastity belt to be very uncomfortable so I took it off and felt a lot better, especially with the fingers. Is that what they're for?

I must say that I'm finding setting up the plumbing to be a lot more difficult that I had imagined. There so much fluid. And it's not constant. As soon as you put some in one one end it needs to come out the other. Is it really supposed to be this leaky? And the liver. It's really complicated. It needs to do so many things. How much of your brain do you normally use to control the liver?

Somebody (OK, User Human) has kindly told me that flavored ethanol lubricant may help with liver control. I've done a few experiments and I've got to say that I'm not entirely convinced. On the other hand strangely, and rather counterintuitively, I seem to be less worried and more relaxed about the issue. I have decided that this needs serious investigation. And will report back on the results of my investigation as I am sure there will be many others wondering the same thing.

If not, my experiences will prove invaluable for the massive Jovian invasion fleet which is on its way. Or was that the thing I was not supposed to mention under any circumstances? Nice stuff stuff this flavored ethanol lubricant. I think I'll hav some morer00ev0 blkll dsgfnmkhjl

DANGER. DANGER. This chemical has unfortunate toxic side effects. Please to ignore my little joke above. Ha Ha Ha. There is no invasion fleet. It was just a, ummmm, temporary hallucination. I now have a new experience - my "throat" is dry, my "head" hurts and I'm back trying to figure out how to make this "liver" thing work on toxins again. I'm starting to think that the best solution is simply to let it do what it thinks is best and stop trying to control it. Is that what you?

My studies
I see many references to some being called "God" and a movement called "religion" which appears to serve him in some way, or which he (or perhaps she, it or they) need/needs in order to exist. It seems that I have much to learn about your customs and primitive beliefs. If I offer you some pretty beads will you give me the secrets of your technology?

My new look!!!
Hello everybody! Just me again.

I wanted to tell you all about the really interesting time I’m having. After learning all about chastity belts on this lovely site I had almost decided to become a girl but I thought I should do some investigation first. I didn’t want to people to notice me too much and I want to blend right in but be respected as well. After all, I’m probably the most intelligent person on the planet.

I thought the best place to investigate would be on this marvelous “internet” thingie so I was looking to see what types of people were most common and what they looked like and everything. Anyway, from looking at the pictures on the internet I decided that the most common people on the planet earth were pretty, half dressed young women with large milk producing apparatuses. (It looks as though gynecology is far and away the most popular hobby as well.)

So, basing my studies on the pictures, I built a lithe athletic body about five foot three inches tall but with appropriately large organs on the chest. Long blond hair seemed to be the best option along with high cheekbones, pretty even white teeth, and big blue eyes, a really slim waist and lips modeled on a being called “Jolie”. (I had a bit of inspiration from something called "Manga" as well.) I also had a divine nail job with little pictures of bunny rabbits.

Anxious to discover if I would pass unnoticed I transported myself to the nearest city. How disappointed I was!! Everybody stared at me!!!! At first I thought it was the bunny rabbits but even when I hid my hands in my hair people still stared, in fact they stared more. It was ever so embarrassing! Then I noticed something else. Everybody was wearing “clothes”! The pictures on the internet didn’t show people with clothes! Why do the people on the street wear them? The internet should have signs sayings “Real Life Is Not Like This” or something like that anyway.

So anyway I got some “clothes” and tried again. Some of the girls on the internet do wear clothes so I modeled my clothes on theirs. This time it was a lot better, but I still don’t pass exactly unnoticed. I’d say that about 50% of the people I meet are really really nice. They keep wanting to buy me flavored ethanol lubricant/solvent and lots of them seem to think I want to get into their cars. So I'm very popular, but I'm not sure that I've got the "respect" thing sorted out yet. Another thing is that the other 50% of the population seem to hate me on sight which I don't understand.