Fun:Hangover

A hangover is a terrible and vicious thing which looms up at you around 6 AM. God puts hangovers in your head to make you feel guilty that you're not going to church on a Sunday morning. If out and about at such hours of a Sunday morning (an inexplicable behaviour pattern, usually only performed while returning home from the clubs and in search of greasy food or sex), and not in church nor intending to go to church, the Lord will cause you further suffering by making you have to deal with those that are. This takes many forms, none of which are desirable.

Symptoms
The symptoms of a proper hangover are such that, upon waking, you spend the first ten seconds thinking you are dead, then the rest of the day wishing you were.

More specifically, symptoms include the following: • 2

Diagnosis
Diagnosis is often simple:


 * "Did you drink a lake of booze last night?"
 * "Did you consume more than five different types of alcoholic beverage last night?"
 * "Did you fail to eat more than a few crackers, then drink wine before beer, followed by whiskey, vodka, tequila and then some Sambuca?"
 * "Do you recall the floor repeatedly swinging up and hitting you in the face?
 * "When you awoke, were the surroundings unfamiliar?"
 * "Was a black, Muslim, Radical Christian Marxist terrorist elected President of the US last night?"

It is also possible to misdiagnose a hangover. The condition is frequently mistaken for actual death, the sufferer believing that they have been transported across the dark and choppy waters of the River Styx, hence the queasiness and appalling pain.

Cures (other than Jesus)
There are many known cures for hangovers. None of them work. • 2