Filicide

Let us not obscure the fact that murder is murder.

Filicide is the despicable act of murdering your own child(ren). It is always wrong, no matter how "difficult" your child is.

Most filicide perpetrators are mentally healthy.

Reasons
Experts have identified 5 reasons why adults may kill their own children:
 * 1) "Altruism" — The offender thinks the child is suffering, and thus kills them in an act of "love," or the offender intends to commit suicide and thinks the child could not cope with being left behind
 * 2) Accident — The offender simply intended to beat the child and ended up killing them, or Munchausen by proxy was involved
 * 3) Psychosis — Drug use or severe mental illness causes the offender to kill for no clear reason
 * 4) Spousal revenge — The offender wants to make their spouse suffer
 * 5) Unwanted child — The offender didn't want kids, or doesn't want this particular kid

Some of these overlap with the reasons women induce abortions, though killing a sentient child is obviously far worse.

Female infanticide
Some parents kill female infants because they only want male babies. This may be especially prevalent in societies in which male (but not female) children are expected to look after their aging parents, or in which a dowry is necessary for marriage.

Killing of disabled children
How we treat the most vulnerable in society – in the health system, the justice system and elsewhere – is a litmus test for our compassion and humanity.

When a parent murders a non-disabled child, they may be called "pure evil" or a "monster." (And they'll deserve it.)

But when the child is disabled, suddenly people trip over themselves in order to justify it.

Media outlets choose to focus on the children's disabilities, and the things they were unable to do (e.g. speaking), or things they did (like screaming or hitting, which obviously non-disabled children never do). The children are portrayed as burdens on their parents, as a way of explaining why their death was logical. It may even be called a "mercy killing," "final act of love," "loving sacrifice," or some other euphemism. Other people may be told not to judge the murderer.

Murderers of disabled children may receive sympathy to the point that people argue for a light sentence. For example, the two killers of Alex Spourdalakis were only sentenced for 3 years each, despite the horrific brutality of his murder, and the mother of 14-year-old Annie Marshall (who had been shut in a room and slowly starved to death), received only 5 years in prison.

While the murderer may claim it was an act of altruism, they may have a history of hating the child's disability, suggesting that the act of cruelty was actually because they didn't want the child.

The Disability Day of Mourning keeps a long list of disabled people murdered by their families.

Murder of autistic children
In the wake of this tragedy, I read a lot of articles that asked the readers to imagine how George’s mother must have felt. But I didn’t see a single article that asked the reader to empathize for George, to imagine how it feels to see your mother point a gun at you.

Autism is a heavily stigmatized disability, and not all parents love their autistic children. Frighteningly, autistic children in particular are more likely to be victims of murder-suicide.

Here is an incomplete list of autistic children and young people who were killed.
 * Jude Mirra (8), forcibly poisoned in 2010 by his millionaire mother
 * George Hodgins (22), shot and killed in 2012 by his mother
 * Daniel Corby (4), drowned in 2012 by his mother; his mother may have been inspired by the news coverage of George Hodgins' death
 * Alex Spourdalakis, a boy who loved music and balloons, brutally murdered in 2013 by his anti-vaxxer mother and his godmother; he was a subject of several Age of Autism blog posts and was likely subjected to various biomedical "cures" before he was killed
 * London McCabe (6), a cheerful and loving boy who liked big hats and watching his parents kiss, thrown off a bridge in 2014 by his anti-vaxxer mother
 * Nicholas Ritchett (20), shot and killed in 2015 by his father
 * Austin Anderson (19), who was blind and had limited mobility, left in a field to die without water or medication while his physically abusive meth-abusing mother watched in 2016
 * Katie McCarron (3), an intelligent autistic girl who loved singing and walking in tall grass (among many things ), was suffocated by her mother
 * Je'Hyrah Daniels (4), thrown into a river in 2018 by her negligent and thieving mother who didn't want an autistic daughter
 * Sarah Dubois-Gilbeau (5), who loved acting out movie scenes and Lego comic books, beaten to death by her father who didn't like her autism
 * Thomas Valva (8), died of hypothermia after his father forced him to strip naked and sleep outside in freezing conditions while his stepmother sprayed him with cold water.

Many of them are deeply missed by friends and family members, who said they were loving and a joy to have in their lives. None of these children and young people deserved death.

Some members of the autism rights movement have raised concerns that sympathetic media portrayals could be linked to copycat crimes. For example, 4 days after Autism Speaks released a video in which a mother discussed contemplating murder-suicide, 3-year-old autistic Katie McCarron was murdered by her mother.

Reactions to the murder of kids with disabilities
Some autistic people, such as writer Mel Baggs, have asked that their death not be treated as justifiable if they are murdered.

Lack of services
Conversations about services and conversations about child abuse and murder need to be separated by a brick wall. This isn’t about services. And when we say, give us more funding or parents will kill their kids, we are saying, very literally: give us more money, or the kid gets it.

Anti-autism groups including Autism Speaks claim that lack of services drives parents to murder.

However, this doesn't account for the existence of wealthy murderers, or the existence of murderers who reject help from others. Advocates for autistic people have argued that claiming services will stop murders sounds awfully similar to using children's lives as a bargaining chip.

Frightening comments by parents
Yet there is a controversy because parenting an Autistic child is "hard," which means that Kelli Stapleton's feelings are more important than Issy's life.

If anti-vaxxers think that autism has already "stolen" their child and taken away their soul, then murder must not be so bad, since the victim wasn't even a real person.

Members of anti-autism communities have spoken up for murderers and would-be murderers on social media, telling people to "walk in [the murderer's] shoes" before judging them.

Understandably, this shocked people. Decent parents of disabled children expressed horror at the idea that it is somehow "normal" to want to kill a child. Autistics, including autistic abuse survivors, have asked why no one ever thinks to walk in their shoes, pointing out how hard it is to be an autistic child whose parent hates autism. "I could have been [attempted murder victim] Issy Stapleton," noted autistic writer Kassiane Sibley, whose violent mother threw her against a wall hard enough to dent her skull.

The death of a child is a terrible thing, including the death of an autistic child.

Fighting ableism
There were concrete documented efforts by the autism community to help [Spourdalakis], and she rejected that. She wanted her child cured, and when she couldn't, she resorted to murder.

Members of the autism rights movement have pointed out that the common denominator is likely the horrible belief that children are better off dead than disabled. Some murderers have refused to accept their children's disabilities, and have put them through intensive behavior modification or biomedical "treatments" before deciding to kill them. "The truth is, Kelli didn’t want Issy anymore. She made it look like it was unselfish and loving, but it was not unselfish and loving," said Eileen Stapleton, grandmother of murder attempt survivor Issy Stapleton.

On March 1, many disabled advocates observe the Disability Day of Mourning.