SpEak You're bRanes

If anyone needs me, I’ll be outside standing in the rain, scrubbing myself vigorously with a toilet brush and singing Land of Hope and Glory until my skin bleeds steak and kidney pudding and I end up the right shade of pasty-white bovine spongiform British to actually be able to participate in the discussion. Cheerio.

spEak You're bRanes ("A collection of ignorance, narcissism, stupidity, hypocrisy and bad grammar") was a blog dedicated to chronicling the dumbest and most reactionary of reader contributions to British news websites—topics usually range from racism and nationalism to blind obsessions with the death penalty. It started with the BBC's Have Your Say comment sections but has since spread out. Think of it as a British media equivalent of Fundies Say the Darndest Things. The page has since disappeared, but the archived version is thankfully preserved for those who want to while away a few entertaining hours.

Its last article was published on February 2012, and the site closed in November 2015.