Mike Pence



Despite the hysteria from the political class and the media, smoking doesn't kill.

He looks like he’s from the 1950s, but he thinks like he’s from the 1650s.

Michael Richard Pence served as the 48th Vice President of the United States from 2017 to 2021. He is also formerly the 50th Governor of Indiana, a representative from the state's 6th District, and the only man in the world who thinks MILF has a comma in it. A Republican, notorious Christian fundamentalist, and supporter of the Tea Party, he was a potential candidate for the Republican nomination for the presidency in 2012 and 2016 but chose not to run. In spite of his previous denouncement of Trump and endorsement of Ted "Vote your Conscience" Cruz, he was later chosen as Trump's Vice President.

The sad part is Pence didn't do much for Indiana; that was all Pence first came to national prominence when he introduced and subsequently signed a bill into law that would allow private individuals and companies to discriminate against LGBT people on "religious freedom" grounds. However, after hundreds of businesses pointed out the economic impact of such a bill, he quietly backed down, tail tucked between his legs.

Despite bearing an eerie resemblance to Pence is incredibly boring ("Born to be Mild"), which is why walking infomercial Donald Trump chose him as his VP, in order to make Trump's mad ramblings more palatable to fundie Republicans. However, if he continues to rub the Republican establishment the wrong way, he may eventually come to regret not choosing a VP who's less acceptable to the far right. Pence is also completely crazy and thinks Jesus wanted him to be a politician. He wants the line between religion and politics completely erased. Furthermore, he's an outright Dick Cheney fan, "I frankly hold Dick Cheney in very high regard in his role as vice president."

Bio
He was born, raised, and educated in Indiana. Born into an Irish Catholic and Democratic family, Pence and his family idolized the first Irish Catholic president, John F. Kennedy. He converted to Evangelical Protestantism during his college years and became a Republican.

He studied law at Indiana University in Indianapolis and briefly worked in private practice before moving to the more content-free life of a think-tank whore and right-wing talk radio presenter in the 1990s. In the latter capacity, he reportedly styled himself "Rush Limbaugh on decaf", indicating his comparative dullness in comparison to the rabid shock jock, although in retrospect maybe he knew something about Limbaugh's drug problems too.

He unsuccessfully ran for Congress in 1988 and 1990; in the latter race, he was widely criticised for finding unusual uses for campaign funding, including mortgage payments on his house and entrance fees for golf tournaments. He finally succeeded in entering the House of Representatives in 2000. In 2006, he lost badly to John Boehner in the election for House minority leader, but he became Republican Conference Chairman in 2009, which is nearly as good.

While in Congress, he served on committees concerned with agriculture, the judiciary, small business, and foreign relations; he introduced 90 bills, of which zero became law. He also proposed a constitutionally-enshrined government spending limit and spoke in favor of the gold standard. He voted for the Iraq War and Patriot Act and supported immigration restrictions, campaign finance liberalisation, every free trade treaty there was, and partial privatisation of Social Security.

He was the only candidate in the 2012 Republican primary for governor of Indiana and polled 49.6% in the general election to defeat Democratic candidate John Gregg; this was a sharp fall from the vote for his predecessor Mitch Daniels but still enough to keep the Republicans in power.

Although a climate change denier in the past, in a rare episode of sanity Pence said he now supports the scientific consensus on climate change (somewhat).

Trump VP pick
During his first CNN interview with Trump, Pence's initial answer on waterboarding was a rather creative cop-out, we'll give him that: "I don't think we should ever tell our enemy what our tactics are." Trump rather patronizingly said that Pence was "entitled to a mistake" — voting for the Iraq War, one of the most common sticks he uses to beat Hillary with. That isn't even discussing the frickin' gold chairs they were sitting in. Yes gold chairs that looked just like Saddam Hussein's or Vladimir Putin's or Bashar al-Assad's or… Just an all-around disaster of an interview. Notably, perhaps foreshadowing what would happen later, he was not the first choice — John Kasich turned down the job because he was staunchly anti-Trump.

Religious views
When the conversation turned to gay rights, Trump motioned toward Pence and joked, “Don’t ask that guy — he wants to hang them all!” My deepest-held conviction, @VP, is USA is being ruined by fake-Christian pharisees like you, who devote lives to ignoring Jesus to further their petty ambitions, by being greedy, judgmental warmongers, who enable adulterous liars like Donald J. Trump. We're awake to that, girl! Pence converted from Catholicism (and from being a Democrat) in the 1990s and became an evangelical Christian. He is a creationist (pro-"intelligent design") and opposes evolution and has used the "just one of many theories" gambit. Though he doesn't like to talk about his religion, his political career has been marked by the social conservatism characteristic of evangelical Christianity, and he has associated with dominionists. He may also have argued in favor of taxpayer-funded conversion therapy.

Mulan review
As a radio show host, Pence was known for his range of… interesting opinions on a wide variety of topics, to put it lightly. In 1999, Pence argued in an op-ed that the Disney film Mulan was liberal, feminazi propaganda:

If he really hated the movie that much, just sticking to the valid criticism that it was the typically cheesy Disney fakelore would have sufficed. The fact that actual ancient Chinese history had     Pence willfully ignores. It also doesn't seem to have occurred to him that many young men find each other attractive, with or without openly admitting it, and that this has never brought the army tumbling down. Unless maybe it did occur to him and people were right to call his statements alluding to conversion therapy dog whistles.

Sex
Pence recommends abstinence-only sex education. He has falsely claimed that "condoms are a very, very poor protection against sexually transmitted diseases".

Global warming
Pence has claimed that climate change is a myth and part of a "liberal environmentalist agenda" to raise taxes.

Tobacco smoking
Decades after there is any scientific doubt that tobacco smoking kills, and denialists are hard to find, Pence claimed in 2000, "Despite the hysteria from the political class and the media, smoking doesn't kill."

Homophobia and transphobia
Besides already drafting a religious freedom act during his time as the governor of Indiana, he was in favor of the North Carolina HB2 bill that would give the right to discriminate against transgender people in North Carolina. He was also the one responsible for Trump signing the transgender ban in the United States military in July 2017.

Views on science
Like most fundamentalists and creationists, Pence is anti-science. He wanted to replace science classes with teaching the Bible instead.

The fall guy
Mike Pence didn’t have the courage to do what should have been done to protect our country and our constitution, giving states a chance to certify a corrected set of facts, not the fraudulent or inaccurate ones which they were asked to previously certify. USA demands the truth!

Pence's unfailing support for Donald Trump has cost him dearly. After years of securing evangelical support for Trump, he was unceremoniously thrown under the bus for failing to selectively overturn the results of the 2020 U.S. presidential election when presiding over the certification of the electoral college results on 6 January 2021. Trump, seeing his last chance at remaining in power slip away, egged on the protestors in a speech on that day, mentioning Pence no less than 13 times. Shortly thereafter, a mob of insurrectionists stormed the U.S. Capitol, and many of the rioters were prepared to execute Pence for failing to stand up for their doomed cause (their antics included the setting up of a gallows). After this debacle, Pence, now disgraced and shunned by the Republican Party, retired to an isolated cabin in Indiana to contemplate his misguided deal with the devil and assume his new role as a martyr for Trumpism.

This was Trump's way of shifting the blame as he had promised the mob that he would win but had failed to do so. A scapegoat was required, and for Trump, there's no problem that this was his most loyal aide.

Despite the incredible level of abuse from Trump, including that during the riot Trump said that he though Pence should be hanged for not following through on the coup, Pence repudiated nothing about his former boss except the attempt to overturn the election and he never mentioned death threat. In the aftermath of Biden's speech where he declared Trumpism a threat to democracy, too, Pence seemed very conciliatory to the same people who threatened to lynch him.