Fun:SCP Foundation

The SCP Foundation is a massive online shared fiction project and community centered around the documentation of the eponymous fictitious organization. In their alternate universe, the Foundation is a clandestine organization dedicated to the location and recovery of anomalies, and does so under utmost secrecy, something that it takes great pains to maintain.

However, we at RationalWiki are mostly dedicated to delivering the truth straight to your doorstep via the interwebs, and we refuse to bow down to the false dichotomy of big players with big agendas. We have quantifiable, unimpeachable evidence that the Foundation [DATA EXPUNGED]

Origins
The SCP Foundation project started with a single post on, of all things, 4chan's /x/ (paranormal) board. Rather than some trite bullshit about there so totally being a cold spot in their living room, viewers in 2007 were met with an image of a sculpture by Japanese artist Izumi Kato and a description of the means to contain it (see SCP-173 below). Soon after, other anons began to compose their own works, and in early 2008, a wiki was created on the site EditThis before migrating to Wikidot.

Site Layout
The SCP Foundation site itself holds six series of anomalies and five series of tales -- pieces of fanfiction -- as of June 2021. While the fanfiction's style and format remains much the same as a typical specimen of its nature, the articles documents on the Special Containment Procedures (SCPs) themselves read like HIGHLY CLASSIFIED government documents, complete with sanitized data, and describe each SCP and how it's contained.

The Foundation
Secure. Contain. Protect.

Departments
This article essay will deal with only the most recognizable departments and personnel. If you're interested, see here for more.

Scientific Department: This department is dedicated to the rigorous study of the anomalies captured, as well as using the compiled data to implement containment measures for them. Neato. However, like all personnel in their field of work, the Foundation tends to go through researchers at a noticeable rate. Nonetheless, there's a variety of shining stars among their ranks.

Security Department: Ah, yes, more cannon fodder. The Security Department is designed to respond to security and containment breaches and to protect other personnel. Can often be seen terminating Class-Ds for no reason.

Mobile Task Forces: The big guns of the Foundation. These fellows are responsible for the apprehension of newly discovered SCPs, each Task Force specialized for a specific… task. The editors on the wiki often come up with Task Forces and tasteful insignias(?) to go along with them.

Not-Quite-Departments
Class-D Personnel: Prisoners, often, but not always, taken from death row to become the Foundation's guinea pigs. In the original canon, all Class-D who haven't been selected to die a variety of gruesome deaths are terminated each month, however this was later deemed a needless waste of resources by most. Sometimes, when access to prisoners is restricted, they're harvested from undocumented residents and political prisoners. We all know who's responsible for that.

O-5 Command: A shadowy cabal who pulls the strings from behind the scenes.

So, just what is an SCP?
Well, that's a bit tricky. The term itself stands for "Special Containment Procedure," not the anomaly itself. However, the anomalies are still referred to as SCPs or "skips," in the parlance of the Foundation crew.

An SCP is a person, place, object, location, phenomenon or even an idea that confounds the conventional laws of physics. There are over [REDACTED] documented SCPs, with new ones being discovered on a regular basis. While some of them are helpful, many are deeply dangerous or at the very least a hindrance. The SCPs are classed according to how easily they can be contained:


 * Safe: SCPs that can be easily contained and the full extent of their… peculiar qualities understood. It should be noted that objects that fall into this category are not necessarily safe, in fact, more often than not, they can be a threat to those who fool around with them.


 * Euclid: SCPs that are not fully understood and and might require more resources to keep under lock and key. Any SCP that exhibits sentient and/or sapient qualities without being too difficult to contain automatically goes here. Not to be confused with the celebrated father of geometry.


 * Keter:  SCPs that are unable to be fully contained or whose procedures need to meet a laundry list of requirements.


 * Thaumiel:  SCPs that are used by the Foundation to contain other SCPs. Anomalies in this category are few and far between.


 * Apollyon: SCPs that are so powerful they can destroy the entire planet and they cannot be contained. Most of them are slow to cause any harm or peaceful with the SCP foundation and Earth with the few exceptions being iterations of SCP-001 like "When Day's Break" where the SCP effectively causes an immediate end-of-the-world scenario. Exceptionally rare.


 * Neutralized: SCPs that have been deactivated, or destroyed, whether accidentally, purposefully, or even by natural causes.


 * Explained SCPs that weren't actually anomalies to begin with; rather, any peculiarities have been fully explained by science.

Prolific SCPs


These are the ones that have garnered the most media attention. You'll find them as hazards in the video games and cluttering galleries in DeviantART. All dangerous, but some more than others.


 * SCP-002 -- "The Living Room" A mass of flesh with an interior that came out of an asteroid, and its interior resembles a living room. Anyone who enters it will likely die in the next few minutes and then turned into furniture.


 * SCP-049 -- "The Plague Doctor:" The ultimate nightmare of skeptics and those who battle alternative medicine and its batshittery. A sentient humanoid clad in black robes and the eponymous mask of his profession, except for the fact that these are actual extensions of his own body. Can kill with a touch. Believes that some humans are afflicted with "the Pestilence," which he remedies by killing them, vivisecting the corpse, and reanimating them as "The Cured." He claims he can cure a disease which doesn't exist, but has no idea what the bubonic plague is. Hmmmmmm….


 * SCP-096 -- "The Shy Guy:" A tall, pale, gangly humanoid with grotesquely elongated arms and jaw. Though normally docile, if its face is viewed in any way (except in drawings), whether directly or indirectly, by any means, it will embark on a mad rampage to destroy whoever viewed it, babbling and screaming all the while. Once it catches up with its victim(s), it will proceed to tear them limb from limb. Mercifully terminated. Most definitely not to be confused with the cute little guys with the masks in Mario.


 * SCP-106 -- "The Old Man:" A rotting corpse-like being in a suit jacket that corrupts and corrodes everything it touches. It can travel through a solid surface into its very own pocket dimension and out the other side. It hunts by dismembering its victims with tendon slashes and its corrosive slime before dragging them into the dimension.


 * SCP-173 -- "The Sculpture:" The OG of Foundation creepypasta. It's a sculpture made of concrete and lengths of rebar, with a few artistic touches in Krylon. As long as it's within someone's line of sight, it remains completely motionless, but when all eye contact is broken, even by blinking, the Sculpture attacks and kills anybody near it by snapping their neck.


 * SCP-426 -- "I am a toaster" When you are around me or even talk about me, I have the ability to make you refer to me in the first person. Anyone exposed to me for a long period of time will start to believe they are toasters and try to copy my functions, leading to their deaths.


 * SCP-682 -- "Hard-To-Destroy Reptile" A large, aggressive, intelligent reptile that is effectively impossible to kill, due to the fact that it can almost immediately adapt to any dangerous situation. Capable of full human speech and an unabashed misanthropist. See here for a comprehensive list of termination attempts.


 * SCP-2337 -- "Dr. Spanko" A sapient, talking corn crake that speaks broken English, heavily including the word "cack". Really likes gummy worms, which he calls "stranglefruits".


 * SCP-3008 --"A Perfectly Normal, Regular Old IKEA" A IKEA store with an infinite interior. Anyone that enters it is trapped inside the store and subjected to hostile living-mannequins at night. Those that were trapped inside formed a community and government to protect eachother and scavenge for resources.

Helpful and Friendly SCPs
These SCPs are friendly toward the Foundation, and/or at the very least put to good use by them.


 * SCP-011 -- "Sentient Civil War Memorial Statue" Exactly what it sounds like, except with an IQ of 133. Which side he fought on remains unspecified.


 * SCP-038 -- "The Everything Tree" An apple tree that fully clones anything under 200 lb. that touches its bark.


 * SCP-043 -- "The Beatle" A copy of The Beatles' containing no grooves. It can be played in its entirety normally until Revolution 9, where a voice (presumably John Lennon or George Harrison) would provide obscure trivia to anything music-related. It will refuse to answer any questions about its identity or The Beatles.


 * SCP-085 -- "Hand-Drawn 'Cassy'" A sentient drawing of a teenage girl. She can travel from one paper surface to another, and can interact with objects drawn onto them.


 * SCP-105 -- "'Iris'" A young woman named Iris Thompson who also happens to own a camera. Any time she holds one of the Polaroid photos, the setting transforms into a real-time image, the objects in which she can manipulate.


 * SCP-131 -- "The Eye Pods" A pair of affectionate, bio-mechanical teardrop-shaped creatures, each with a single, brilliant blue eye. They wheel around their environment at high speeds and all too often experience Newton's second law. Notably very handy in containing SCP-173.


 * SCP-294 -- "The Coffee Machine" A coffee machine… with a keyboard on the front. Just cough up fifty cents, enter your drink of choice, and watch as it pours into SCP-294's verifiably indestructible disposable paper cups! And yes, it pours any liquid in existence, except those from different universes.


 * SCP-458 -- "Never-Ending Pizza Box" A standard Little Caesar's pizza box. Open it, and be greeted with your dream pizza, any toppings, any style.


 * SCP-527 -- "Mr. Fish" A man in a top hat and suit with the head of a fish. The most famous of the "Little Misters," a series of SCPs unleashed released by the mysterious Dr. Wondertainment.


 * SCP-999 -- "The Tickle Monster" A large glob of peanut butter orange slime with a love for M&Ms and helping people. Extremely friendly and playful, and contact with its slime results in a slight euphoric sensation.


 * SCP-3988 -- "Napoleon Boneyparts, Superstar Skeleton" A living, sapient skeleton, formerly complete with a snappy suit and pocket watch.

SCPs Related to Groups of Interest
SCPs used, bought, desired, or created by rival groups for various purposes.


 * SCP-102 -- "Property of Marshall, Carter, and Dark, Ltd." Two beach condos that basically turn their leaseholders into ghosts. Owned by the nefarious auction club Marshall, Carter, and Dark.


 * SCP-882 -- "A Machine" A hodgepodge of metal and machinery that absorbs nearby metal into it. It also causes psychosis to set in after a while. Coveted by the Church of the Broken God, which, though it sounds like a raging secularist organization, is a cult dedicated to "rebuilding" God. Make of that what you will.


 * SCP-884 -- "The Shaving Mirror" A shaving mirror that won't let you perceive any hair removal. Its more insidious quality; if used, over the years the victim will develop an ever-growing indecisiveness that will eventually extend to crucial situations. Implanted in an elaborate scheme by the Chaos Insurgency.


 * SCP-1609 -- "The Remains of a Chair" A chair that teleports to you if your legs are getting a bit tired. Nope, the Global Occult Coalition got their hands on it and threw it in a woodchipper, and now it's a mulch that's currently fertilizing a flowerbed at Storage Site-08. It teleports into the lungs of people who exhibit the traits of the GOC in any way, viz. wearing a uniform, hostile movement, motors. This is why people don't like the bureaucrats.


 * SCP-3312 -- "OwO What's this?" An infohazard that turns regular internet users into self-destructive furries for the company Accelerate the Future to sell fursuits to. Already existing furries are immune to it, and are frequently recruited by the foundation to contain the infohazard.


 * SCP-4319 -- "♡By Girls, For Girls♡" A TERF blog that transforms persons assigned female at birth into a hyper-feminine stereotype if the author thinks you're not womanly enough. Unsurprisingly, this pissed off Ovarit and Kiwi Farms.

Straight Up Terrifying SCPs
The ones that keep you up thinking at night.


 * SCP-035 -- "Possessive Mask" A mask that can't decide whether to be comedy or tragedy. Just kidding. It's actually sentient and leaks black acid from its facial orifices. It exudes a strong urge to wear it and causes rapid degeneration in its host body. See here for the full details.


 * SCP-087 -- "The Stairwell" A hidden stairwell on a college campus that leads to an unknown depth. It also contains an entity/entities that evoke(s) terror into those within proximity. Not as bad a problem if you encounter it in front of you while descending, but if it's behind you…


 * SCP-162 -- "Ball of Sharp" A big fucking ball of fishing line festooned with hooks and needles. Victims are compelled to come into contact with it, ensnaring them.


 * SCP-205 -- "Shadow Lamps" A pair of photographic flood lamps. Every year for six months, it slowly displays the graphic seduction, rape, and murder of a woman by horned male figures. Worst shadow theater ever.


 * SCP-282 -- "Ritual Devil Sticks" A set of Micronesian juggling pins. If the right requirements are met, when the pins are constantly juggled for thirty-six straight hours, shit happens.


 * SCP-354 -- "Red Pool" A pool of dense red liquid in Canada that periodically spawns various monsters, that also happens to be a portal to another dimension.


 * SCP-597 -- "The Mother of Them All" nope nope nope nope nope


 * SCP-616 -- "The Vessel and the Gate" A demonic airplane whose emergency left door converts into a extra-dimensional portal once a month.


 * SCP-666 -- "Spirit Lodge" A yurt that, when entered, induces intense hallucinations in those with unhealthy addictions. The hallucinations indulge the subject for a while, but then proceed to terrify them back into the land of the living. If the subject hasn't been scared straight and decides to enjoy a second round, they die of a heart attack.


 * SCP-835 -- "Expunged Data Released"  A undersea mass of coral. Check the references if you really want to learn more…


 * SCP-939 -- "With Many Voices" Troglodytes that lure their prey with the voices of their previous victims and incapacitates them with a spray that temporarily prevents memory formation.


 * SCP-966 -- "Sleep Killers" A species of bipedal, nearly invisible creatures that unleash a wave of anomalous radiation that removes their victims' ability to sleep.


 * SCP-1299 -- "Drowning Tub" A clawfoot bathtub that fills with water and drowns people. It wouldn't be nearly so bad, but for the fact that it actively hunts if it hasn't been "fed" for a while.


 * SCP-1730 -- "What Happened to Site-13?" Yeah… what did happen to Site-13?


 * SCP-1844 -- "Crater at 31.7° N, 35.1° E" A crater that's literally a gateway to Hell.


 * SCP-3062 -- "The Lone and Level Sands Stretch Far Away" A demonic, reality-bending entity residing in Africa that torments those lost in the desert.


 * SCP-3200 -- "Chronos" A far-flung region of space that is currently tearing spacetime itself apart, causing the timeline of the universe to continuously be destroyed and reset again.
 * SCP-5004-B -- "MEGALOMANIA" Literally just Donald Trump. Yes, really. He's an SCP.

Nontroversies
Of course, the law of entropy applies everywhere, even across the internet. The good folks over at the GamerGate wiki decided that the Foundation was undergoing a K-Class Social Justice Scenario after Mister Metokur lambasted the site's seeming degradation, prompting a response from Dr. Cimmerian. Soon after, the SCP Foundation decided to change their community guidelines to discourage certain controversial subjects being touched upon. While on any other site this would all be well and good, this led to an already somewhat crappy SCP becoming even worse. Nonetheless, it was still a needless back-and-forth.

The Truth about the SCP Foundation
While the above may seem all fun and games, we still haven't addressed the most dire issue facing not just a niche of the internet, but of the world itself. The Foundation is real, and we are working night and day to uncover and expose their occult motives. You might say, "Hold the [REDACTED]on! I thought this was a site dedicated to debunking bullshit claims like this!" That's true. But we're also a site dedicated to revealing truth, however ugly it may be, and we will never betray our mission, even if it entails going up against the biggest and most influential organization in the world. We need you to listen to us. We [DATA EXPUNGED]

Tracing IP…

WARNING: Attempting to access the following without high-level memetic inoculation and/or Cognitive Resistance Value will result in immediate and catastrophic rectal prolapse followed by death.

Implementing Dunning-Kruger Memetic Kill Agent…

You have been warned.



Continued life signs confirmed.

Access granted.

Removing safety interlocks…

Hello, [REDACTED].

We see you were looking for answers. Answers the Rational Wiki thought that they had. But they fish for Leviathan with naught but hook and string.

You, however, have made it this far. Congratulations, and, if it is appropriate, condolences.

We will give you the truth. Not the whole truth, as that is not for mortal eyes. However much you pine, you will not know of the Scarlet King, of the millions of universes that nestle up to ours…

But you had questions, and were willing to pay any price to ask them.

Now we give you answers.

Most of humanity lives in a distorted haze of a world, unaware of what really goes on around them. We call this the Veil. It is a necessary evil. Mankind is not ready to know about the horrors that this world contains, the beings from dying worlds that seek to glut themselves on our own. We seek to keep the world a safe and sane place. To do this, we must make sacrifices, to look into the abyss and to call it for what it is.

We are the strongest and most widespread organization of its kind. We have operatives stationed at every facet of civilian life, searching for threats to normalcy and survival. We have sites on every continent on the globe, and some that are not even on the globe. We hold the largest number of anomalies ever collected, and we do our utmost to keep them safe and prevent them from falling into the wrong hands. There are many such hands clamoring for the SCPs. They seek to disrupt our work and to use these great and terrible objects for their own misguided purposes, as weapons, as bargaining chips, as aid to the impoverished, or even to destroy them outright. We cannot let that happen. Even if many pose a threat to human life, we keep them intact and out of the public eye, with destruction only as a last resort. After all, dangerous or no, most of these are still inexplicable and indeed irreplaceable. We seek to understand them, and that cannot be so easily done if well-meaning fools unleash them on unwitting populaces. We do not seek to hoard all the pieces on the board.

If these revelations are too much to process all at once, and you could not bring yourself to scan a single word more, then we present to you our repository of knowledge/ Venture through this at your leisure, but say not a whispered word to anyone about it. Remember, we operate at every level of society, and we'll know if our trust in you has been broken. The consequences will be swift.

If you have not gone through the above for fear of repercussions, or if you have gone through but simply want nothing more to do with this, know only our threefold mission.

To Secure.

To Contain.

And to Protect.

We die in the darkness so you can live in the light. Never forget this.

Yours, the SCP Foundation