User:Forerunner/List of British monarchs

Henry I (1100-1135)
The youngest son of William I.

Stephen (1135-1154)
A grandson of William I through a daughter, Stephen warred with Henry I's daughter Matilda over who had the strongest claim to the English throne. Naturally as these were Medieval times, the more distant male relative won.

Richard I (1189-1199)
The second son of Henry, Richard "the Lionheart" was the leader of the Third Crusade against Saladin and so was only in England for six months of his total reign. In the six months he actually was in England, he faced nationwide pogroms after someone misinterpreted the traditional Country Club rules of "No Jews Allowed" at his dinner party as an order to commit genocide aptly dubbed the holocaustum. Finally returning to England after being held for a literal King's Ransom by the Archduke of Austria, Richard was hit by a crossbow bolt while out hunting. Without any children, his younger brother John succeeded as king.

Richard II (1377-1399)
Grandson of Edward III through his eldest son Edward, Prince of Wales. Richard gained a reputation as a tyrant during his reign, and was unpopular already for his refusal to cut his food budget alongside a tax hike. In the Peasant's Revolt Richard withdrew his promise to put and end to slavery serfdom ( SAME THING! ) after the Mayor of London murdered the rebel leader in front of him during a truce. An organization of disgruntled landowners called the "Lords Appellant" was formed which forced him to have his own government executed after accusing it of embezzling the military budget (odd that in a time where everyone is an asshole, only Richard is the tyrant). Richard also attempted to end the border wars among English landowners in Wales by liquidating the assets of troublemakers and putting them under the administration of an emerging Welsh middle class.

At the end of his reign, Richard decided to finally liquidate the former Appellants and killed or exiled their ranks, taking their land and handing it to his own friends. In his final year Richard essentially rendered Parliament useless and transferred all powers to his friends (ah, there's the tyrant). The exiled Appellants returned under the command of his cousin, Henry Bolingbroke, who nabbed the throne and put Richard in jail. When Richard's friends launched a counterrevolution, Richard just happened to die from a disease with all the hallmarks of starvation.

Henry V (1413-1422)
Henry V's reign is known for two things: ending the Hundred Years War by being crowned King of France, and being such a religious fanatic he had his best friend's face thrown into a bonfire for not being Catholic. Upon his death the crown went to his son, Henry.

Henry VI (1422-1461)
Henry VI's reign on the other hand is known for two other things: starting the Hundred Years War again and losing almost everything, and being extremely mentally handicapped to the extent he didn't know there was a civil war.

Edward IV (1461-1470)
Taking over the throne at the age of 19, Edward becomes infamous for his lack of interest in politics and is well known as being lazy when there wasn't a war to fight. In regards to his political interest, he is known for getting married to a virtually-unheard of woman while his advisor Richard of Warwick negotiated a marriage alliance with France. Naturally Warwick was pissed off at the wasted diplomacy and decided to take over the country with help from nobles who simply hated Edward marrying a common-as-muck lower-upper class girl (because Elitism). Edward and his family were forced out of the country and were sheltered in France as refugees.

Henry VI again (1470-1471)
Henry was let out of his prison to serve as a puppet ruler for Warwick, but reigned for only a year when French-backed Yorkist forces invaded England and regained control. In the ensuing invasion Henry's only son, Edward of Westminster was killed and he himself mysteriously died in jail.

Edward IV again (1471-1483)
Regaining control of the country, Edward promptly returned to his past time of doing nothing. When forced to actually do something, he decided to make his brother Richard of Gloucester a regent for the entire north of England to give him less of a country to worry about. Edward eventually died in 1483 of pneumonia from falling in a fishing pond. He was succeeded by his son, Edward.

Edward V (1483)
Edward V's reign is virtually nonexistent. Due to administrative meddling by Edward IV's in-laws (which he, naturally, ignored) half of his council consisted of his mother's unpopular family and the other half their upper-class enemies. Edward was then placed under house arrest by his uncle Richard to protect him from harm, where he lived happily ever after mysteriously disappeared.

Richard III (1484-1485)
Richard III's reign was heavily polarised. While loved in the North as a wise and saintly politician looking out for the poor, he was hated in the South as a power-grabbing child-killed who, according to Utopia writer Thomas More, was also some sort of demon. Eventually he was betrayed in battle by his allies and killed, allowing his distant cousin Henry Tudor to take over the throne.

Henry VII (1485-1509)
Henry VII brought England into the Early Modern Period with centralised governance, which he achieved through his Sith mind tricks magnetic personality and use of the secretive Star Chamber to keep the nobles under control. This soon resulted in Henry becoming paranoid and the noble class was purged of Richard's betrayers (apparently making him King wasn't loyal enough) and forced Richard's nephews under "house arrest" to prevent a challenge to his legitimacy (the irony of which was lost to him). Henry died of tuberculosis in 1509, and his second son Henry succeeded.

Edward VIII
Eldest son of George V. Famously predicted correctly by his father to abdicate within a year. Infamously a close friend of Adolf Hitler who taught his nieces how to Nazi Salute.