User talk:Christian scientist

Greetings, Christian scientist, and welcome to the , where science rules and dreams come true! 00:00, 17 December 2009 (UTC)
 * Well, thank you kindly! What exactly did you mean, though, by that last bit? Does this mean that I'm going to become a twelve year old living in some shack, and then find a set of radioactive videotapes in my dumpster, and they're going to cause brain damage, and then my life will become a six-part avant-garde movie which looks into the consciousness of somebody whose mind is slowly shutting down because of radiation poisoning? I'd...I'd really like it if that particular dream didn't come true, if that's okay. Christian scientist (talk) 00:10, 17 December 2009 (UTC)
 * Oh, that's just a lie I tell every newcomer. It's more welcoming than "Thank you for coming.  Now surrender your soul and your livelihood," but a lot less truthful.  : )   00:18, 17 December 2009 (UTC)
 * That's why I say "welcome to the cesspit of the internet." Much more accurate. 00:20, 17 December 2009 (UTC)
 * But then they run off before I can suck their blood! : (   00:20, 17 December 2009 (UTC)
 * Oh they don't actually believe me. That's the irony of it. They think I'm kidding and then they stay so you can suck their blood. 00:25, 17 December 2009 (UTC)
 * Well, thanks for the warm welcome, and thanks for being so self-incriminating! When the FBI busts this little vampirism-wiki thing you've got going, it's going to be real easy for me to turn informant and avoid criminal charges, and I really appreciate that. Christian scientist (talk) 00:33, 17 December 2009 (UTC)
 * We may be vampires, and we may sparkle, but... oh shit, I wasn't supposed to mention that par-- [[Image:Flag of Soviet Canuckistan.svg|30px|IN SOVIET CANUCKISTAN, BEAVER DAMS YOU!!!]] Yossarian The Man from the USSR 04:53, 17 December 2009 (UTC)