Rudy Giuliani



And my attitude about my legacy is Fuck it! Conservatives all nodded when Rudy Giuliani said, “I do not believe that President Obama loves America.” As opposed to Giuliani, who happened to be mayor on 9/11, so that made him America’s Mayor, a hero whose great act of heroism was “nothing fell on his head.” To paraphrase Donald Trump, I like mayors who don't let towers collapse. Truth isn’t truth.

Rudolph "Rudy" Giuliani is a decrepit former Republican Mayor of New York City, one-time World Hero, one of the more hopeless candidates in the 2008 Presidential election, and shameless shill and ratfucker for Donald Trump. Before 9/11, he was best-known for dressing up in drag bringing down the Mafia commission.

Like a bad case of groin rash, he resurfaces every 4 years to pontificate about America-haters.

Mayorship
Giuliani ordinarily wouldn't have stood a chance in such a heavily Democratic city, but a combination of a sky-high crime rate and ridiculous corruption in the state Democratic Party in the early 1990s meant there was something of an appetite for change. But even then, he would likely have gone down in flames but for a ballot initiative on Staten Island secession that year; this drew an unusual number of voters from said borough (which is somewhat more Republican-leaning than the rest of the city) and led him to a narrow victory over incumbent David Dinkins.

Giuliani was essentially a fiscal conservative, but was socially liberal on issues such as abortion and gay rights (he started as a Democrat and has only been a Republican since the 1980s). Under his stewardship, the gentrification of New York City began in earnest. While some unambiguously good things came of this, notably his breaking the nearly century-long stranglehold organized crime had on the Giuliani told his officers to ramp up the use of force against vagrants, street vendors, and streetwalkers, even arresting them for jaywalking. Even the thing he gets the most universal credit for, getting the infamous squeegee men off the streets (which actually was was a significant problem on many levels), really happened months before he took office and (by his own admission) had nothing to do with him.

He wasn't well-liked, and after a string of sex scandals and the unprovoked shooting of Amadou Diallo — in which NYPD officers unloaded 41 bullets on an immigrant outside his home (all four officers walked) — he knew he would never be remembered as one of the great mayors.

September 11th happened. Rudy was a media darling for a while, and his book became a best-seller. Then he decided to run for President and remind everyone why they disliked him. Regrettably, his campaign was hijacked by the American Taliban, morphing him into a kind of proto-Palin. Since then, he's stopped talking sense altogether, endorsing all manner of far-right fundie nutcases.

Office-seeking
There's only three things he mentions in a sentence: A noun, a verb, and 9/11.

You kind of feel bad for him because cancer took away a senate seat that should've been his. And the sad thing is, he could've been President if the election were held in the days after the WTC attacks. The proffered seat denied was what darkened Rudy's soul and convinced him to milk 9/11 as the basis of his career.

It wasn't just the cancer that made him drop out of the senate race. He also had an affair with Judy Rankin and then publicly put his wife through the wringer in the divorce process. So… the sympathy only goes so far there.

Why he should never be president
Freedom is not a concept in which people can do anything they want, be anything they can be. Freedom is about authority. Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do.

This may be contrasted with Benjamin Franklin's famous quote: They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.

During the 2008 campaign, Rudy wanted to use "Rudie Can't Fail" by The Clash as his theme song. A rudie is a "rude boy", Jamaican and British slang for young Jamaicans who are stereotyped as irresponsible hoodlums. "Rudie Can't Fail" is a punk-reggae song celebrating said irresponsible living.

His strategy for the election was to do nothing until Florida voted. And crowing about how he single-highhandedly saved the world on 9/11. (Continuously.) Unfortunately, that didn't work at all. In fact, it ended up with Giuliani becoming one of the first candidates to drop from the race, which he did on January 30, 2008. Moral: Don't ignore Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada, Wyoming, and South Carolina, even if they are the "flyovers".

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here
After dropping out, Giuliani endorsed McCain, possibly to try and angle for the VP slot (which didn't happen). Later, in a feeble attempt to try for both President and Vice-President, Giuliani and another also-ran decided to make trouble at the Democratic National Convention: They established an on-site "war room" to grab media attention and spew nonsense about the Obama campaign. Just like their respective campaigns, this was a laughable failure.

That which is not alive cannot die
So when [Trump] first announced it, he said, "Muslim ban." He called me up. He said, "Put a commission together. Show me the right way to do it legally." Giuliani never gives up, evidenced by the fact that it was possible to contribute to his 2008 primary bid some time after the election.

Ghoulinani's name came up in speculations about Trump's pick for Attorney General, or even Secretary of State. They have Rudy on tape talking about having tricks up their sleeve and laughing maniacally two days before the FBI letter blew Hillary Clinton's campaign out of the water. In addition, Rudy has Putin connections. Trump didn't appreciate Rudy almost blowing their cover and gave him the axe. "It didn't work out," said Rudy, wistfully looking at a phone which never rings.

Well, at least he's not keeping Rudy on in a "cybersecurity" job — excuse me? [whispers] …what? [whispers] Oh for fuck's sake.

Rudy the ratfucker
Giuliani finally wormed his way into an actual position (sort of) in the Trump Administration when it was announced in April 2018 that he would be the new lead counsel on the team representing Trump in the ongoing federal probe into Russia's election interference. While working as Trump's attorney, Giuliani admitted that he has not registered as a lobbyist for foreign governments, a violation of the Foreign Agent Registration Act (FARA), which can result in a 5-year prison sentence and $10,000 fine, though it is rarely prosecuted. Giuliani has clients from Brazil and Colombia. More alarmingly, Giuliani represents the city of Kharkiv, Ukraine, whose mayor belongs to the pro-Russia Party of Regions, as well as the which advocates the violent overthrow of the Iranian government.

A whistleblower came forward in September 2019 reporting that Trump himself and, through his lawyer, Giuliani, had been attempting to put Trump's personal interests before that of the United States, an impeachable offense. In defending the actions to get Ukraine to meddle in the 2020 US presidential election on behalf of Trump, Giuliani insinuated that the whistleblower is part of the deep state conspiracy theory.

During the years of the Donald Trump administration, and particularly during the time of the Trump-Ukraine scandal (when Giuliani was attempting to acquire "dirt" on Hunter Biden in order to ratfuck Joe Biden in the 2020 election), Giuliani started accumulating acquaintances with many shady politicians and other unsavory types, particularly Russia-friendly figures from Ukraine. In October 2019, two Soviet-born associates of Giuliani, and  were arrested in America for campaign finance violations. Parnas ran a scam company fittingly named "Fraud Guarantee", which paid Giuliani $500,000. By 2020, with the presidential election coming up, many other shady characters were known to be in Giuliani's orbit — names like (a Russian agent and troll), Kostyantyn Kulyk (a military prosecutor charged but never convicted of corruption, with ties to a Ukrainian warlord working for Russian intelligence), Oleksandr Onsychchenko (a Russia gas industry tycoon who fled his native country when accused of embezzlement),  (an energy tycoon with deep ties to the Kremlin who was wanted in the United States on bribery and racketeering charges),  (a banking tycoon known for financing Russia-supported mercenary troops in the East Ukraine), and Andriy Telizhenko (previously known for trolling  with bullshit that Ukraine had interfered with the 2016 U.S. presidential election on Hillary Clinton's behalf, a claim that was later debunked). The aim of this group was clearly to play interference in the 2020 presidential election, on Donald Trump's behalf.

On September 10, 2020, Derkach was sanctioned by the US Treasury for attempting to interfere with the election. Kulyk, Onyshchenko, and Telizhenko got sanctions slapped on them from the US Treasury for the same reason on January 11, 2021.

As part of a criminal investigation connected to Giuliani's dealings with Ukraine, on April 28, 2021, the New York Times reported that federal investigators in Manhattan executed search warrants at Giuliani's home and office. A search warrant was also instigated at the home of a lawyer close to Giuliani who had also represented Firtash.

Rudy the insane insurrection inciter
What they [Giuliani and Sidney Powell] were proposing I thought was nuts. You know, the theory was also completely nuts, right? I mean, it was a combination of Italians and Germans. I mean, different things have been floating around as to who was involved. I remember Hugo Chávez and the Venezuelans. She [Powell] has an affidavit from somebody who says they wrote a software in and something with the Philippines, just all over the radar.

In late 2020, "America's mayor", having been exposed to the Donald Trump virus, went completely insane.
 * October 5, 2020: Giuliani goes on Fox News and engages in science denialism, by ranting nonsensical, incorrect information about the science on using facial masks during the COVID-19 pandemic. (In an ironic twist, Giuliani is coughing throughout the interview.)
 * October 14, 2020: The New York Post publishes a story alleging that (son of 2020 presidential candidate Joe Biden) dropped off a laptop at a Delaware computer store for repair and that the device contained nefarious emails and photos. The repairman purportedly gave a copy of the hard drive to Giuliani, who then provided information to the Post. Upon further examination, though, the story smelled of bullshit, with Giuliani and others in the Trump circle unable to present any evidence to Giuliani's outrageous claims, such as a claim that the hard drive contained "numerous pictures of underage girls”. (Making outrageous claims with zero evidence was going to be a major motif of Giuliani in the months to come.) Media interviews with the repairman in question revealed a very nervous man, with conflicting stories and bizarre references to the Seth Rich conspiracy theory. As a result, no major media outlet or social media company gave much credibility to the story, a wise choice considering how bad the New York Post  and how quickly Giuliani's credibility was declining.    Even longtime journalists at the New York Post wanted nothing to do with this bullshit. Some intelligence experts believe that this attempted story was actually Russian disinformation propagated through a Ukrainian lawmaker named  who had been in contact with Giuliani at least two times prior to the "story" breaking.
 * October 23, 2020: Satirist and prankster releases his second film using his  character,  The most shocking scene in the film comes when Giuliani is shown in a hotel bedroom with actress  (who played Borat's daughter Tutar in the film, and is impersonating a journalist in the scene). During the scene, Giuliani laid down on the bed and shoved his hands in his pants, with some suggesting that he might have been fondling himself.
 * November 3, 2020: Election day for the 2020 U.S. presidential election.
 * November 7, 2020: Joe Biden wins the 2020 U.S. presidential election.
 * November 7, 2020: In response, Giuliani arranges a press conference at the Four Seasons. This, unexpectedly, did not refer to a location of the Instead, this referred to Four Seasons Total Landscaping in Northeast Philadelphia, a landscaping business in an industrial area located near a sex shop, a crematorium, and a jail.
 * November 14, 2020: Donald Trump puts Giuliani in charge of all election lawsuits speculating that (fanciful) massive fraud took place and that (in contrast to reality) Donald Trump should be president.
 * November 19, 2020: Knowing of no rational argument that would align with Trump's demented worldview, in a news conference on November 19, Giuliani spins up a wild conspiracy theory that "votes (were) counted in Germany and in Spain by a company owned by affiliates of Chavez and ". The conspiracy theory espoused by Giuliani refers to voting machines made by a company started by engineers born in Venezuela but founded in  in 2000. Smartmatic voting machines were only used in one county in the 2020 election, making the claim seem bizarre even at face value. Giuliani then brought up that Smartmatic's chairman "is a close associate and business partner of George Soros, the biggest donor to the Democrat Party, the biggest donor to antifa and the biggest donor to Black Lives Matter." It is no secret that Smartmatic's current chairman,  is involved with Soros's  it is also no secret that these well-trodden tropes of Soros funding Antifa and BLM, popular in conservative conspiracy land, are false.     As an added bonus, during the conference, Giuliani's hair dye (or some other form of makeup) melted and ran down his face, leaving many professional hairstylists aghast.
 * November 21, 2020: Giuliani turned up in a Pennsylvania courtroom to personally argue one of his ridiculous fraud lawsuits, only to have District Judge completely eviscerate it. This is just the beginning of the Trump legal team's spectacular losing streak in court.
 * November 21, 2020: An affidavit Giuliani cited during the November 19 press conference that claimed that there were several precincts in Michigan with over-votes ("of 150%, 200%, and 300%", as Giuliani claimed), was found to be using Minnesota county names.
 * December 1-2, 2020: On November 10th, a woman named Melissa Carone filed an affidavit that as a "contractor for " she "witnessed nothing but fraudulent actions take place". This was enough for Giuliani to tap her as a "star witness" at a Michigan House and Michigan Senate Oversight Committees panel on Trump's baseless fraud allegations in early December. The allegations, delivered loudly in a sputtering, slapdash, conspiracy theory-oriented manner, were easily deemed "not credible" by a judge two days later.  Her loud, eccentric performance went viral and earned widespread speculation on social media that she was drunk the entire hearing. On December 28, 2020, Dominion Voting Systems filed a strongly-worded cease-and-desist letter against Carone, calling her claims “outlandish” and warning her that “litigation regarding these issues is imminent.”.
 * December 7, 2020: After spending more than 10 hours in a hotel ballroom with more than a dozen Arizona Republican lawmakers, maskless and not social distancing like one should when in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic, Giuliani is admitted to the hospital with COVID-19, causing the Arizona legislature to panic and abruptly shut down for a week.
 * December 13, 2020: The tally of the Gish gallop of lawsuits alleging electoral fraud by Giuliani and other Trump allies at this date: 1 win, 59 losses.
 * December 18, 2020, days after the Electoral College had certified Joe Biden as the winner of the 2020 U.S. presidential election, a group of high-level kooks showed up at the White House. The kooks were were not officially invited, but were let in by a junior staffer and gained access to Trump anyway. The kooks included Giuliani, conspiracy theorist Patrick Byrne, Trump's bogus election fraud lawyer Sidney Powell, felon/Lieutenant General Michael Flynn, and others. What ensued was a prolonged and heated exchange between the kooks and White House lawyers. The kooks managed to convince Trump that by various connivances the election could be overturned even though they knew this would have been illegal and/or unconstitutional. Trump was convinced by the kooks and sent out the notorious "be there, will be wild" tweet in the early morning hours of the 19th, setting the stage for incitement of the coup attempt on January 6th, 2021.
 * January 6, 2021: Famously, this was the day of the amateurish attempted coup from various Donald Trump cultists. Before the attempted coup, Giuliani riled up the crowd by telling the protesters that there should be a "trial by combat" to settle the election. (Could this be... Joe Scarborough fucking thinks so!)
 * January 8, 2021: Giuliani appears on Steve Bannon's "War Room" YouTube channel and blames the coup he incited... on "fascists" in the "Democrat party". Since Bannon's "War Room" had been in trouble with YouTube before for advocating violence, this projecting bullshit was enough to get YouTube to permanently boot Bannon off of their platform.
 * January 25, 2021: Dominion Voting Systems, tired of Giuliani's bullshit over their product, sued Giuliani for defamation, seeking $1.3 billion in damages.
 * March 5, 2021: House representative (D-CA) also tires of Giuliani's bullshit and sues Giuliani (along with Donald Trump and Mo Brooks) for allegedly inciting the Capitol riot.
 * September 11, 2021: On the 20th anniversary of his greatest moment in the spotlight, Giuliani shows just how far he has fallen from that peak by giving a rambling, nearly-incoherent speech (that had many on social media question if he was severely intoxicated) at his annual dinner commemorating the anniversary of 9/11. During the speech, he bizarrely strung multiple non sequitur topics together, ranging from bad Queen Elizabeth impersonations, to out of nowhere denying that he "never had a drink with" or "was with a woman or a young girl with" (only to backtrack a short bit later and admit that he has met him a couple times), to taking confused vulgar potshots at Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
 * January 21, 2022: Reports emerged that Giuliani, with the help of the Trump administration (and even an anchor from One America News Network), was the primary coordinator in December 2020 of a campaign to steal the election by disrupting the process. Specifically, the scheme was to have illegitimate electors from seven battleground states that Joe Biden won sign fake certificates falsely claiming that Donald Trump was the victor and attempt (and fail) to persuade governors to sign the bogus certificate, or put pressure on Vice President Mike Pence that no winner could be declared in these states due to the existence of these bogus certificates. The scheme was quite clearly bullshit, enough so that several of the appointed Trump electors refused to go along with the plan, forcing the campaign to replace them with other willing stooges.

According to a $1.3 billion lawsuit against Giuliani by Dominion Voting Systems, all of his conspiracist bullshit-pushing was only a means to the end of selling product. Giuliani has become a product 'influencer' and has been hawking gold coins, silver, nutritional supplements, cigars, a "conservative alternative" to AARP, and protection from 'cyber thieves'. Yes, Mr. Kremlin wants to protect you from cybercriminals.

Due to the multiple false statements Giuliani made about the 2020 U.S. presidential election, on June 24, 2021, a New York state appeals court suspended Giuliani's license to practice law in that state.

Some time after Trump lost the election, probably in January 2021, Giuliani requested but did not receive a presidential pardon, presumably for unspecified criminal acts.

Videos

 * Giuliani praises Putin's leadership - It's almost as if they want Obama to come into their house and screw their wives and make the kids watch, or something.
 * Rudy's greatest legacy