John Major

I didn't see his face, didn't know what he looked like — well, not until I saw John Major on the telly.

John "Back to Basics" Major was a British Conservative Prime Minister (from 1990-97), chiefly remembered for playing cricket, speaking like Marvin the Martian, and knocking boots with, a fellow MP—an affair which ended in '88 but wasn't brought up until 2002. (Nice to see he hasn't lost the knack for understatement.) Despite being the only person to ever gain more than 14 million votes in a British election, just a couple of decades ago, nobody really remembers who he is.

Although mostly useless, he did inspire a lot of sketches on the comedy show Spitting Image, in which he was portrayed as a boring all-grey character who ate only peas.

Who?
Despite being in recession, Major lead the Conservatives to a fourth consecutive win. His victory was largely down to his Thatcherite backing and convincing moderates and even left-leaning people who disliked Labour to keep them out.

All of his parliamentary colleagues regard him as an honest, but ineffective man and the worst person in the world to be Prime Minister. His ineffectiveness stemmed from the fact that Thatcher promoted him too quickly. Sadly, he populated his cabinets with arrogant fools and thieves. (Also known as Tory MPs.)

He left office in 1997, after the Conservative Party was defeated by New Labour, led by the far more interesting Tony Blair. Despite his landslide, Blair got a half million fewer votes in '97 than Major got in '92 (though lower turnout is a possible factor).

#JM4PM
He speaks the most sense out of all the former Prime Ministers. He's actually quite unusual, a PM who's regarded more fondly now than he was when in power.

Quotes
Fifty years on from now, Britain will still be the country of long shadows on cricket grounds, warm beer, invincible green suburbs, dog lovers and pools fillers Amongst our achievements is industrial peace through achieving a labour-market surplus I am afraid I am going to have to vaporise your planet. It is blocking my view of Venus ''Disclaimer: These quotes were found in a disused mine in the 18th century and were only recently brought to our attention.