Template:Drinkquote

Always be drunk. That's it! The great imperative! In order not to feel Time's horrid fardel bruise your shoulders, grinding you into the earth,Get drunk and stay that way. If she (your girlfriend) is in another room, open two beers and neck one quickly and bring the second into the lounge. When asked why it sounded as if you opened two just say you didnt get the cap off all the way Good people drink good beer A good bachelor drinks his dessert (and sometimes the rest of his meals). A sweet tooth is a danger signal that you're getting too much exercise and not enough cocktails. The whole world is about three drinks behind For if we don't find The next whiskey bar I tell you we must die You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. To alcohol, the cause of and solution to, all life's problems. I'd kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer! Whiskey is the life of man, Always was since the world began. You tipplers all, as you pass by, Come in and drink of you are dry... I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. I drink to make other people interesting. I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid. I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. There can't be good living where there is not good drinking. I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop. I drank to your health in taverns, I drank to your health at home. I drank to your health so many times, I completely ruined my own! Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye, Singin' this'll be the day that I die, This will be the day that I die Whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here? I swear to drunk I'm not g od! So pour me another shot of whiskey. Fill it to the top 'cause I hit me rock bottom this time. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. A long time ago, way back in history When all there was to drink was nothing but cups of tea Along came a man, by the name of Charlie Mops He invented a wonderful drink, he made it out of hops He might have been an admiral, a sultan or a king And to his praises, we shall always sing Look what he has done for us, he's filled us up with cheer Lord bless Charlie Mops, the man who invented Beer A bushel of malt, a barrel of hops, you stir it around with a stick That kind of lubrication what makes your engine tick Oh forty pints of Guinness a day will keep away the quacks It's only eight and ha' in the pub, with one and six in tax *HIC!* You can keep you wine and keep your tay! My curse on him that brings me coffee! I'll drink porter, if I may. It makes me feel content and happy. A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. Come on wine, wine, wine do yer stuff "Are your glasses charged in the West and South?" the Worshipful Master cries; "They're charged in the West, they're charged in the South," are the Wardens' prompt replies. "Then to our final Toast tonight your glasses fairly drain. Happy to meet - sorry to part - happy to meet again, again, Oh! happy to meet again. The man who drinks cold water pure and goes to bed quite sober. Falls as the early leaves do fall So early in October. But he who drinks just what he likes and gets his half-seas over will live, and live until he dies and then lie down in clover.  Take me drunk, I'm home!  Don't worry, I'm not trying to kill you, I'm just a drunk driver!  I'm not as think as you drunk I am.  Drink to me, drink to my health, you know I can’t drink any more.  The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey. By diligent effort, I learned to like it.  What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.  Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.