Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/May 2008


 * Does Andy get the joke, or not? It's impossible to tell.
 * With all the Ed Poor talk floating around, take a look at the past for some lulz: once upon a time, a sysop on Wikipedia abused his power and lost it as a consequence when he locked a user's talk page and demanded to know how he intended to "help this project"... shucks if that don't put me in mind a bit of some things he does these days!
 * Cracking the HelpJazz Code: apparently, they thought he was a sock?
 * Speaking of flowers, does anyone consider this picture, on the front page, a little creepy? Baby climbing out of a flower?  I guess this is just one more way of saying, "Happy mother's day!  Remember, all you are is a delicate flower."
 * How come the moonie isn't selling any flowers? Warning: ugly alert!
 * Crocoite unveils his spiritual masterwork. Let there be dancing in the street.
 * One big difference between CP and WP is that CP is not concerned with celebrity gossip. Unless you're a sysop, of course.
 * An Andy Trifecta: simple insults (telling someone else they don't understand a Wiki) Changing the rules (More than one person can have an insight at the same time) and a call for Last Wordism
 * Andy starts a new article chronicling every time someone, anyone, agrees with something Conservapedia has said (for example, a random college student (sarcastically)). Entries to date: one.
 * Andy, known far and wide as a fair judge of others' political views, presents his Political IQ test. I wonder, which would be the correct answer?  Hmmmmm...
 * Karajou puts his foot down against childish things, by acting just like a child. ALSO:  Andy gets pwned.  Not that he notices or cares.
 * Ah, yes, Conservapedia. They are not at all biased in their articles, because they're not over-encumbered with rules about self-promotion, like Wikipedia.
 * Andy's darling daughter doesn't get a say on Conservapedia when she goes against the party line. Instead, she gets a little bit of patented Ed Poo... what?  That was Learn Together?  What the fuck has happened to him?  Anyways, she gets a little bit of patented LT snobbery. UPDATE: Critical alert, reversion has been reverted, prepare for glimpse into the new LT's prefered method of punishment
 * The ever-consistent and not a bit hypocritical Andy Schlafly is suddenly in favour of animal cruelty arrests. So long as the right people are charged, of course.
 * Andy destroys gay pride.
 * Once again, Andy proves that parody is dead.
 * Scene: Freedom777 steps onto the war-strewn battlefield of the Evidence for ID page.  Quietly, he raises his hand, and says, "No more."  Abashed, the relentless tide of vandals subsides in shame.  Freedom777 saves the day on another hideously-vandalized article. And again, and agai-.. nevermind on that one.
 * Et tu, Phyllis?
 * Vandalism: TerryH works in mysterious ways.
 * FOX: Brilliant parodist or complete asshole? Only his stylist knows for sure.
 * Are you proving me wrong, time and time again, to my continued embarrassment? Well, let's quit while we're behind: submit a writing plan, and please begin with "sterilizatinos," Ed's word for (I imagine) sterilized Latinos.
 * Andy's quick to turn his snappy phrases into snappy articles, Conservapedia Terms and Guidelines.
 * Conservapedia Insight Confirmed! A student at Harvard implicitely agrees with us and wrote about it in their newspaper!  But wait... the Harvard Crimson looks a lot different in our CP link...Although we could be wrong? Poe's law strikes again by the way.
 * Unlike Deborah - whose contributions always need a little work - Ed hits a home run every time!
 * Your complaint is what I tell you it is, damn it! UPDATE: - Asking Ed to respond using reason is now a blockworthy "Misuse of Talk Page" UPDATE 2: DinsdaleP is working in accord with the evil Academy... UPDATE 3: There is a disturbance in the Force as PJR restores the offensive reasoning for, um, being reasonable.
 * Kektklik seems to be having a slight problem with user blocks; he has achieved the wiki equivalent of locking your keys in the car.
 * And just to show that the classics never die: Anything related to evolution must be placed beneath the YEC view. Always. Even if it means that the "Creationary view" suddenly replies to something that hasn't even been brought up yet ("Creationists contend that birds being descendants of dinosaurs is unreasonable [...]")
 * Boasting of page count is something that is a Wikipedia fixation. Boasting about page views is still fine and dandy, though. UPDATE: According to Andy it is insight that is important and he can make up some random numbers to prove it to his reflective and fictional 99% degree of certainty.
 * Leniency on the blocking policy? Well, Deborah, now we KNOW you'll never become sysop.
 * Jinxmchue, while "complaining" about porn on Wikipedia links to a wikipedia watchdog site that links directly to porn that was deleted from wikipedia. No searching necessary, just follow the NSFW links in the forum thread and read about personal porn collections.  Family friendly? Not at all.
 * Does DeanS understand what the word "rationalize" means?  Update: Is Andy reading WIGO again?
 * Will Big Bird run afoul of Sam the Eagle?  Stay tuned as the story develops.
 * User VincentMC asks if CP wouldn't mind locking the Richard Dawkins page so that people know not to correct insert liberal bias into it. The response? STFU.  Now.
 * Unwritten Commandment number 6: Don't point out Andy's failings. They don't like that UPDATE: If you don't want to leave Andy alone you big bullies, we'll make you
 * Lets see here, a user is blocked in Early May for an edit made in Late February But the Trusworthy Encyclopedia wouldn't lie would it?this edit which was reverted by the blocker six minutes before the block had nothing to do with it.
 * Ok kids, can you spot the irony in Andy's reaction? NO? need a few hints
 * Conservative searches for an English word on French Google to show how popular his pet project is. But, oh no, not only do they speak a different language over there (whodathunkit?) but the search is not showing what it's supposed to.
 * Hey, Andy, yo mama is a sucky source.
 * Hey, guys, there are non-violent video games too! In fact, let's make a whole page about them so that we can name all of our favourite games!
 * Crocodile links to a blog (that declares it's Not a blog) which quotes a fictional immigrant history ("Most illegal aliens from Mexico fit the following profile, written in the first person for clarity:" By John Lillpop on May 04, 08 ) to make a point. Update Someone reads Wigo? and Croc takes notice.
 * Apparently "young" is a rather flexible concept. Perhaps it refers to anyone with less miles than Saint Phyllis?
 * According to PJR, a phone interview made by a CP sysop counts as a reliable source and shouldn't be removed or called unsourced
 * The orgasmic joy about Operation Illinois did weird things to Conservative: "Conservative deleted "User talk:Conservative/douche" (content was: 'foajfowajdfoajw' (and the only contributor was 'Conservative'))"
 * It's official. Operation Illinois is lame. And because this one will be memory-holed, anyway: Image backup. Update: Vanished.
 * Call to arms. A religion is being oppressed!!!!!! Then again, Maybe it's not UPDATE: once, twice, three times a pwning, but Andy's ready.  When backed into a corner, change the subject
 * So farewell then Adolf Hitler. Were you too popular (#8 CP most-viewed page, 315,700+ views) for you own good? No, wait, he is risen again!
 * Wait, why am I typing this? Conservapedia says that I've become desensitized to indulge in horrible criminal acts! Why waste time like this when I could be shooting people guiltlessly?
 * It's always amusing to see Andy bragging about his students attending...a liberal arts college? Wha?  The other's not much better, since it's full of journalists, and we know how notoriously liberal they are.
 * It's a good thing Freedom777 intervened to protect his Explanatory Filter page, since it was "prone to vandalism"... after all, look at this vandalism-filled history. Swell! Update: DanH introduces Freedom777 to the concept of common sense.
 * Wherein Andy waxes nostalgic for the glory days of Empire.
 * Andy should really watch who he insults, now he's labelling Dean's contributions as absurd, although this time he's actually telling the truth
 * Did Lyin' Ed Moon just assign Fox a writing plan? Or PJR?  It's honestly hard to tell.
 * This edit is either reasonable proof that Ed is a parodist or extreme irony.... However, due to Poe's Law it's hard to tell which.
 * Wow. Some guy with 9 reviews on Amazon says that Conservapedia offers good facts against atheism. Not only that, but the facts against atheism are also 'energizing'. This is a very significant advance, especially as this great christian has a whole 4 star review average on Amazon. This 4 star average is greater than that of books like 'The God Delusion', which only has a pathetic 4 star average after thousands of reviews, not to mention loads of negative reviews due to people that don't agree with Dawkins actually knowing about the book. Now Conservapedia are to go for people with even higher reviews. In other words, they're going to beg Varg to endorse them.
 * Horrors! Now even those liberal video games are spouting evolution over creationism. Bonus point for spotting the Freudian slip.
 * According to CP, liberals (and only liberals) are gullible enough to believe in UFOs, but it's completely believable to see dinosaurs nowadays.
 * Magnetism? No, animal migration is obviously the result of Intelligent Guidance.
 * Deborah puts herself on the fast track for sysopship by giving Andy an example of the new #1 type of Liberal Bias.
 * Oy vey! Lucky for Fox, Ed is part of the ZOG. !שַׁבָּת שָׁלוֹם Anybody wanna ask him what "rat wiki" is, or since when off-site activity is a blocking offence?
 * Conservative's quest to pimp out the Atheism article continues, and he's quite willing to simply override the Featured Article committee. PJR of course slaps him for it, prompting Conservative to send many important mails - and to screw over the committee again.
 * Ed can't be expected to remember all that nonsense! He's been busy selling moon-candy and bothering passers-by all day! Give him a break! UPDATE Yeah, and shove this moon-candy up your arse!
 * "Huh, so the Great Conservative we openly endorsed has made racist comments and was involved in sex scandals. So... erm... let's try to derail the entire issue by showing that other people aren't that much better."
 * Apparently, Ed has really run out of targets: He now apparently accuses fellow sysop Learn Together of quotemining
 * Bias is bad. Remove it, but don't add to it. Thus spoke Ed.
 * Somebody seems to be attempting to make Ed look rational.
 * Ed continues to purge any negative news about Expelled. And it goes on and on and on...including burning threads from the Talk pages.
 * The more things change, the more they remain the same.
 * Now we know - rising oil prices are nothing to do with Iraq or China's increasing demand - it's all down to those liberals!
 * Crocodile DeanS's latest main page thing (from the Conservative voice - surprise, surprise) quotes "an experienced Christian writer with concentrations in Bible & Biology from Bob Jones University" on the subject of DNA. Read it - it's a hoot!
 * Not plagiarism? Just idleness!
 * Conservative still insists on acting like we don't know who he's talking to. As a sidenote, is it possible to fit more references to war in a single caption? Update: That was fast.
 * Conservative proves that irony is alive and well.
 * Can anybody say that this wasn't the expected outcome?
 * JP Holding about JP Holding - proving once again that Conflicts of Interest are completely embraced by CP as long as they're the right interests. And since you can't have too much of a good thing, the same thing again! Check here for the Turkel/Holding link, or simply google for "Robert Turkel" - or hey, even the trusworthy encyclopedia says so!)
 * Told you it'd be a lulzy day. To round things off, Ed repeats his "withdrawing welcome" stunt because of this tiny edit.
 * Ed, Ed Ed, you are completely full of shit
 * Ed should follow his own advice. UPDATE Somebody else has noticed...
 * Awesome arguments have a tendency to be awesome. In an awesome way. In the same argument, a liberal shows that he has no idea what he's talking about. Unsurprisingly. Some people think that it's actually a pretty good idea to give 15 year olds the right to vote. And yet the brave Conservapedians fail at noticing this liberal deceit, and continue to spout rubbish.
 * According to Ed Poor, "general criticisms of the site [... violate the 'no personal remarks' rule in spirit, if not in specifics."]
 * Breaking news ocurred last year, though its never too late to tell us that the Virginia Tech incident was caused by a lack of Shakespeare.