Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/February 2010

And it's official: Canada: 3, U.S.A.: 2, Andy: zero. It is also socialist, liberal, gay-marriage-tolerant Canada's 14th gold medal of the Games, setting a Winter Olympics record. Let the Spinolympics begin. Linking to this article, Ken has uncovered evidence of scientific progress vast deception. Andy strokes his chin sagely and adds another priceless insight to the CBP: "interesting conservative connotations: Jesus tells the Apostles to cast their net on the right side of the boat, and only on the right side do they help themselves and others." Perplexed user: "Er, I'm sure everyone here knows that the terms "right" and "left" to describe politics originated during the early French Republic, right?" Andy's not buying it: "No, John's use of the word 'right' here is a political statement, because I think it is." The president should listen to everyone except those "hate filled" atheists, of course.

Silly liberal attorneys, there's no need to chase ambulances for clients. Just hang out outside abortion clinics! It's much classier. Update: So now ambulance chasing (as well as bailouts, antilife, and Big Brother, to name a few) are conservative concepts? In The News - "Today's Tough Economy Means Lots Of "Belt tightening" Except For Amoral Public Schools Evidently. The Elwood Community School in Elwood, Indiana, is using their own matchmaking Web site for fund-raising. The Web site was created by the school, and students in grades six through 10 can find a compatible boyfriend or girlfriend." Jpatt: "Our prayers are with Dick Cheney while he is in the hospital. Of course, the liberals are praying for different results and not to any God.." AlexWD: "You mean like that conservative Christian pastor who prayed for Obama to die?" Jpatt: "That pastor sounded neither conservative nor Christian, right AlexWD?" (AlexWD banhammered)

Rob, you'll save time thinking up creative excuses if you just come out and say, "It's because we think Barry Soetoro is a soopah seekrit muslim. "Reading Conservapedia can help you lose weight" Gasp! Andy finds conclusive proof that Jesus (and millions of other fishermen) was a right winger. So what does that make trawlers? Unfortunately Andy doesn't know that the left half of the brain controls the right side of the body.

Ed Poor creates a category called Movies about football coaches with 11-year-old daughters. What more needs to be said? UPDATE TK decides he don't need none o' that pop culture, but leaves the red link behind anyway. 🇰🇪 on mainpage: Atheists are BAD! More on Andy logic: Spain has same-sex marriage, socialism, and 20% unemployment. Therefore, Spain hasn't won a Winter Olympic Medal! Bonus points that he linked an article about Spain's economy instead of the well being in the Winter Olympics. Belief in God Helps Relieve Depression. Sure, but so does a double scotch I find. (Or consuming the weed?) User: Surely under Christian Conservatism there would be no female athletes at all. Karajou: Shut up. An arson suspect had books on demons and atheism in his possession. Therefore, he is obviously an atheist. (Despite the fact that atheists obviously don't believe in demons). Additional: There were also three Bibles. (Not mentioned on CP) <votecp poll=wigo3234 closed="yes">Andy thinks that socialist "control, control, control" hampers the production of good athletes. Being challenged on this, he replies, Statistically speaking, I have no idea what I'm talking about. UPDATE After getting smacked around Andy declares victory. UPDATE 2: Andy, seeing his idea soundly falsified, grabs at straws for a save: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Main_Page&diff=756777&oldid=756770 The Soviet Union doesn't count! It was a COMMUNIST country!] UPDATE 3: Andy is back with a vengeance, and will prove his hypothesis with… Spain. <votecp poll=wigo3233 closed="yes">Super sycophancy: Dan (the homophobe, you know him) asks Andy where news items should go and links to an article(sic) by Mommie Dearest. TK obliges. This makes only the second time that story has appeared on the mainpage. <votecp poll=wigo3232 closed="yes">Is there a version of Godwin's Law if you compare someone to Stalin?

<votecp poll=wigo3231 closed="yes">Andy: Those gay dominators are at it again. The mainstream media are ignoring the Boy Scouts' 100th anniversary, and to prove it, I'll link to a mainstream media article about the Boy Scouts' 100th anniversary! <votecp poll=wigo3230 closed="yes">Well, that was fast! <votecp poll=wigo3229 closed="yes">Andy: There is no problem that conservative principles cannot conquer. Pay no attention to that irrelevant Jesus character; we're justified by conservatism! <votecp poll=wigo3228 closed="yes">No witty comment required for this one <votecp poll=wigo3227 closed="yes">Andy seamlessly links losing a hockey match to homosexuality and socialism <votecp poll=wigo3226 closed="yes">Jpatt from website, willfully ignoring purpose of said website

<votecp poll=wigo3225 closed="yes">One revert makes a right: Andy: "Conservatives would never appear in a movie with sex! Contrary to our values!" User: "They would. Example." ASchlafly: "Shhh!" <votecp poll=wigo3224 closed="yes">Shocking, earth shattering news! A conference of conservatives opposes the Obama administration! Up next: water is wet. <votecp poll=wigo3223 closed="yes">Andy is outraged that the big bad lib-burr-ulls at Wikipedia are hiding the massive scandal about Obama's teleprompter use! Of course, they're also hiding the story about Republican Presidents using teleprompters. <votecp poll=wigo3222 closed="yes">"Ed liveblogs a movie", Wiki Crossover Edition: Ed declares WP a failure: "It's errors like this that make Wikipedia useless as a reference source." Thank God for Conservapedia, where he can highlight conservative values like "integrity and concern for one's fellow man" and "liberal platitudes" in the movie <votecp poll=wigo3221 closed="yes">Schlafly Sympathy in action: An elderly Democratic senator has stomach cancer, which is regrettable. But on the bright side, the state now has a RINO Republican Governor who gets to replace him when he croaks!

<votecp poll=wigo3220 closed="yes">The trustworthy encyclopedia finds more trustworthy sources. <votecp poll=wigo3219 closed="yes">Andy can't decide whether "polar coordinates" is a liberal or conservative term.....seriously. <votecp poll=wigo3218 closed="yes">For a conservative, TK don't know much about shotguns Here's a free lesson. Update: Pointing out semi-auto shotguns is worth a block.

<votecp poll=wigo3217 closed="yes">Newsflash: hares are less social than rabbits. Details at eleven, with your anchor, Ed. <votecp poll=wigo3216 closed="yes"> Has Hell frozen over? Twice? Andy passes up the chance to scold Liberals, and has a perfectly rational reason why What is happening to the irrational lunatic we know and love? <votecp poll=wigo3215 closed="yes"> NO! Even math has been corrupted by liberals. What can we do? <votecp poll=wigo3214 closed="yes">TK read between the lines and found the word 'liberal' in this article

<votecp poll=wigo3213 closed="yes">A soldier didn't die! So it's obviously JC's doing. What about all those that did die? was that JC's fault too? <votecp poll=wigo3212 closed="yes">Andy:  Being a liberal keeps you young! <votecp poll=wigo3211 closed="yes">Andy lays down the key to Obama (and future president Bob McDonnell's) electoral success...height Update: They also share another electoral quality...NOT being Hillary Clinton

<votecp poll=wigo3210 closed="yes">Can you all see the word 'Saint' in this sentence? OK, how about now? <votecp poll=wigo3209 closed="yes">Poor Jesus. Andy has him saying "Listen up" in his project that's embarrassing to even Christian conservatives Conservative Bible. <votecp poll=wigo3208 closed="yes">Great news! Ken's pimping of his pet articles is going strong! That video by NephilimFree now has more than more than 6,000 views! To put this into perspective, this video of a cat driving a Roomba is just a few months older and has received more than 4,000,000 hits. Keep up the good fight, Ken! <votecp poll=wigo3207 closed="yes">Oh noes! Bill Clinton watched the "un-American" High Noon 20 times!! Of course, no mention from the same source that Ike watched it thrice and was "riveted". Oh and Andy, besides Clinton-bashing, why keep an "un-American" movie in the "Greatest Conservative Movies" list? <votecp poll=wigo3206 closed="yes">Conservapedia refutes old naturalistic scientific theory on the origins of life with a new one

<votecp poll=wigo3205 closed="yes">Fashion designer guy kills himself three days after his mother dies, but it's down to him being gay. Way to exploit the depression of others to your own political ends, Andy. You tit.

<votecp poll=wigo3204 closed="yes">A law has been passed in South Carolina, requiring terrorists to register with the state. "It's absolutely incredible that we have these guys running our government!". Indeed. Incredible.

<votecp poll=wigo3203 closed="yes">A new Andy Insight™!

<votecp poll=wigo3202 closed="yes">Uh-oh: The Schlafly brothers are at it again! Andy: Galaxies colliding is atheism, not science. Roger: Are you serious? Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Andromeda_galaxy&diff=next&oldid=753615 Yes. It's not science's job to predict things.] Moare: Andy suddenly decides that information he recently called "unsupported, implausible, atheistic liberal junk" isn't so bad after all (as long as you don't use the word "billions").

<votecp poll=wigo3201 closed="yes">"There will be no curiosity, no enjoyment of the process of life. All competing pleasures will be destroyed. But always— do not forget this, Winston— always there will be the intoxication of power, constantly increasing and constantly growing subtler. Always, at every moment, there will be the thrill of victory, the sensation of trampling on an enemy who is helpless. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever." says JacobB. Of course, the caveat applies: "If the universe lasts that long!"

<votecp poll=wigo3200 closed="yes">Astronomy á là Aschlafly:  11-13 billion years ago Once upon a time, in a galaxy 2.51 ± 0.13 million light years 'far, far away... ''

<votecp poll=wigo3199 closed="yes">The Countdown to BMcP's banning continues. Will today be the day?  Update: Another one bites the 3 billion year old 6,000 year old dust.  Update 2: 3....2....1....Godspeed! <votecp poll=wigo3198 closed="yes">Finally TK passes along the RW suggestion. <votecp poll=wigo3197 closed="yes">And lo, it came to pass; Andy finally reverts all BMcP's nonsense about the universe being more than 6000 years old and the utter claptrap about celestial objects being lightyears away. Is this the end of BMcP? <votecp poll=wigo3196 closed="yes">DouglasA and Uncle Ed engage in some self-congratulatory banter as they show off their Shakespearean erudition about the phrase "methinks the lady doth protest too much" from Macbeth. Which is to say, Hamlet.

<votecp poll=wigo3195 closed="yes">Gibbs mocks Palin's notes written on hand. ANDY: Liberals' antics are childish!! I mean, what kind of juvenile ass mocks someone for using notes while speaking in public?

<votecp poll=wigo3194 closed="yes"> Ed's cryptic stubs grow ever more ominous. <votecp poll=wigo3193 closed="yes">AWOL? Or at least Away without any notice: RJJensen - CP's real prof and usually an industrious insomniac - Didn't edit for 17 days. (returned 12 Feb)'''.

<votecp poll=wigo3192 closed="yes">Jpatt reads too much into an NPR article about a billboard that no one has claimed responsibility for, to claim that Bush's popularity is making a comeback. Soon he may be more popular than Nixon? <votecp poll=wigo3191 closed="yes">DMorris is jealous of TK's power. UPDATE: TK responds with a giant middle finger <votecp poll=wigo3190 closed="yes">It's not much of a surprise to anyone but 🇰🇪 that Conservapedia's web traffic has increased since 2000...perhaps because the site was created in 2006 <votecp poll=wigo3189 closed="yes">TK asserts that just stating a doctrine doesn't make it the Word of God... and proves said statement by quoting from Paul's epistles. <votecp poll=wigo3188 closed="yes">TK's fine with buying food supplies for Afghanistan...but not actually paying to send them there!

<votecp poll=wigo3187 closed="yes">Andy's delusions continue: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template:Mainpageright&curid=85316&diff=752586&oldid=752579 33% of Iowans support the Tea Party movement. Can any future candidate win without their support?] Ask someone who beat their champion. <votecp poll=wigo3186 closed="yes">Ed Poor, 4 December 2008: Ian McKellen's take on the Bible is gossip and doesn't belong on CP. User on 7 February 2010: Ian McKellen's extreme opinion is that he's an atheist and against capital punishment! Oh, and that gossip thing again. <votecp poll=wigo3185 closed="yes">Yes Ed, I'm sure that's a mistake we'll all make.

<votecp poll=wigo3184 closed="yes">It's Sunday, so that means another Andy insig- No! Wait! OMG! It's a insight! Oh wait... no it's not. It's been plagiarised from these guys.

<votecp poll=wigo3183 closed="yes"> Conservative makes 10 edits to trash talk Obama for not firing Harry Knox, a member of the administration's coalition for faith-based initiatives. Knox is known for having a tolerant, rational view of equality regardless of sex or sexual orientation, and he recently came under fire for speaking out against  Emperor Palpatine. Ten edits and the result is a redundant tirade riddled with grammar errors. What more is needed to "insure" (sic) the perception of CP as the lunatic fringe? Update: CP sysops prefer to leave their grammar in its errant state after a liberal user kindly points out the typo. <votecp poll=wigo3182 closed="yes">Karajou makes yet more comedy gold in this weak week's toon. <votecp poll=wigo3181 closed="yes">DouglasA's heart is in the right place. Sadly, we all know that'll result in death by. <votecp poll=wigo3180 closed="yes"> makes RickD an unperson. <votecp poll=wigo3179 closed="yes">Arresting and shackling a twelve-year-old for petty vandalism is "tyranny", according to Andy "FBI Incident" Schlafly.

<votecp poll=wigo3178 closed="yes">Conservapedia for Dummies Chapter Three: How to Adjust the Truth. User: "Conservative bias exists. Can we make one 'political' bias page?" JacobB: "That's silly. Liberal bias is a serious problem. Liberals deny they have a liberal bias and twist facts to fit their bias. Besides, everyone knows that people Google 'liberal bias' more than just 'bias'." "Besides, a page on 'conservative bias' is pejorative, and we can't have that on a conservative-biased site." RickD: "Liberals are incorrigible liars, unlike conservatives. Objectively, liberals are the worst liars." TeaKakkke: "I'll delete conservative bias because a dirty liberal made the article." Lies, and bullying. <votecp poll=wigo3177 closed="yes">Karajou thinks there is no room in "Chiristianity" for liars. <votecp poll=wigo3176 closed="yes">Andy cries Liberal interference when a six year old child is suspended for taking live ammunition to school. <votecp poll=wigo3175 closed="yes">RobSmith really doesn't like President Barack Obama <votecp poll=wigo3174 closed="yes">This would only ever happen in one of those liberal-progressive countries...wouldn't it?. UPDATE: User questions, Andy replies with a totally unrelated question of his own. Career Limiting Move: No, JacobB, you're supposed to agree with Andy.

<votecp poll=wigo3173 closed="yes">Conservative predicts that theist bullies will crush defenseless atheists in the first round of a Texas steel cage death match debate in Godless Canada. <votecp poll=wigo3172 closed="yes">TeaKakkke thinks it's absurd that the U.S. Census wants personal information. <votecp poll=wigo3171 closed="yes">Gambling: Highly addictive and can threaten the addict's capacity for a normal, healthy life. Except, that is, when Obama advises people not to "blow a bunch of cash in Las Vegas," at which point it of course becomes every red-blooded right-winger's duty to do just that. <votecp poll=wigo3170 closed="yes">Criticizing a Democratic idea with politically-incorrect language: Perfectly fine for Republicans, but a big no-no for Democrats. <votecp poll=wigo3169 closed="yes">Must be a slow news day, if Andy can only point at a "gossipy" WP article. Funny thing is, whenever I think of gossipy wiki articles, there's only one that comes to mind. <votecp poll=wigo3168 closed="yes">Resident parodist JacobB helpfully removes references to an old universe. Er... actually make that any reference to any age whatsoever, even "older" Population II stars are verboten. UPDATE: The author doesn't approve, but JacobB isn't hearing it. <votecp poll=wigo3167 closed="yes">TeaKakkke in big bold letters on the front page: "Barack Obama Seeks $1.1 Trillion Tax Hike!" The FoxNews article reports, "President would increase taxes on some businesses and wealthy individuals by a total of about $1.4 trillion over the next decade, while cutting taxes for workers and other businesses by about $330 billion." Isn't that what he campaigned to do, TK? <votecp poll=wigo3166 closed="yes">User: "Jesus performing a miracle healing seems to violate the second law of thermodynamics." Andy: "Do you believe eating an apple to feel better, or taking an aspirin to alleviate a headache, also violates the Second Law of Thermodynamics?" <votecp poll=wigo3165 closed="yes">Eek! President Obama's hatching another commie plot to turn the public schools into his own personal breeding ground for a private army of left-wing Alinsky socialist schoolchildren! (Of course, a Hitler Youth poster is a perfect illustration for this shocking piece of news.)

<votecp poll=wigo3164 closed="yes">Remember, folks: It's only all right to snatch kids off the street and spirit them across international boundaries to your hotel orphanage if you're a Baptist wingnut from Idaho. <votecp poll=wigo3163 closed="yes">A U.S. Air Force Academy decides to show their respect of freedom of religion by establishing a Wiccan prayer circle. Jpatt's response: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template:Mainpageright&diff=751240&oldid=751233 OH NOEZ!! We must coexist with evil]. Followed by an bought to you by TK. MOAR Insanity! A user challenges the headline: But the Air Force is just providing a place for cadets to worship, there is no mentioning of the Air Force adopting Wiccan practice. TK: Yeah, we conservatives have "common sense." Jpatt: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Main_Page&diff=751262&oldid=751261 Amen to that. The headline will stay as it is]. User: You're not getting my point here.