Fun talk:Wine

Ontario wines are also pretty highly regarded these days. Although the Aussies do make a pretty fine plonk. --Kels 20:23, 19 August 2007 (CDT)


 * There are also British & English wines - think one is made from home grown grapes & the other from imported juice - dunno which way round. Never tried any meself. Let's face it, as long as it doesn't rip the skin off the roof of your mouth and it gets you merry in minutes, who cares? (The Romans grew wine grapes as far north as Lincoln in the UK - global warming anyone?) Keep Your hands to yourself  08:53, 20 August 2007 (CDT)


 * Wales? Keep Your hands to yourself  12:23, 20 August 2007 (CDT)

[1] - Ah! SusanG 06:21, 24 August 2007 (CDT)

Wine goes well with women and song
There are those who like their wine because it adds sophistication
 * to that hearty meal they're serving to their friends.

There are those who like their wine because it helps in the creation
 * of that party feel on which so much depends.

Then there are those who like their wine to come from eastward-facing chateaux
 * on the plateaus of the Loire and all that bunk,

Their motives are not mine; I like lots and lots of wine,
 * but I like it 'cause it gets me drunk.

There are those who take a glass because it helps them to relax,
 * they find it helps their social manner to improve.

It's a jolly useful scheme which I have taken to its logical extreme:
 * sometimes I get so well relaxed I cannot move.

Then there's another kind of fellow, drinks champagne to get him mellow,
 * and he swears by Clicquot, Bollinger and Brut.

I tried some Brut myself, I found it on the bathroom shelf,
 * and he was right, it got me mellow as a newt!

You can gauge your wine by the quality of the vine,
 * the color, the bouquet, and all that bunk,

But it all comes back to the falling-over factor,
 * and the fact that it gets you drunk.

There are those who like to think that it's important what they drink,
 * they haven't got an inkling what it's all about.

They spend their evenings wasting decent drinking time by tasting
 * drops of this and that and spitting it all out!

They wander up and down the tables, 'strewth, they even read the labels!
 * muttering things like, "What a pity the cork has shrunk,

Fruity nose, or too much tannin!" when they ought to get a man in
 * who'd appreciate the chance to get drunk.

They waste their time describing what they ought to be imbibing,
 * which is wine of course, although you'd never think it,

And they use words like "young but promising, precocious, full of fun!"
 * Cor! You'd think they were going to adopt the stuff, not drink it!

And at a meal, the silly asses have a row of empty glasses,
 * a different wine with every dish they eat.

Me? I mix whatever's handy in a stiff all-purpose shandy
 * that goes very nice with fish or shredded wheat.

You can gauge your wine by the quality of the vine,
 * the color, the bouquet, and all that bunk,

But it all comes back to the falling-over factor,
 * and the fact that it gets you drunk.

Then there are those who take delight pronouncing labels right,
 * they roll their R's and use those German glottals.

Me, I couldn't give a monkey's cause the stuff for getting drunk is
 * on the inside, not the outside of the bottles!

So when you have your cheese and wine, invite your local Philistine.
 * Call me drunkard, call me sot, or call me wino.

You'll find me in your kitchen, I'll be gigglin' and twitchin'
 * having a sup and throwing up across your lino.

You can gauge your wine by the quality of the vine,
 * the color, the bouquet, if you insist,

But it all comes back to the falling-over factor,
 * and the fact that it gets you...

Mist-y eyed and mellow, gets you maudlin, mawkish,
 * miserable ...
 * and pissed.

- posted but not authored by Sprocket J Cogswell (talk) 21:18, 9 September 2011 (UTC)
 * 9:20am here, drinking wine and whining. Fucknuts. Aceace 21:21, 9 September 2011 (UTC)