Talk:Marital rape/Archive1

Problems
I think this article is necessary, but it's got some problems in terms of style and composition - I've started to try to hammer it into shape...PFoster 11:48, 28 February 2008 (EST)
 * This is important, and it is in dire straits. You're a hero for starting the work, PF :-) - 11:55, 28 February 2008 (EST)
 * No offense to the original author, but I took out some stuff that may be more relevant to an article about divorce or sex ed, while trying to stay on point...PFoster 12:06, 28 February 2008 (EST)
 * Trying to help whip it into shape... human  14:11, 28 February 2008 (EST)
 * I don't get the connection between chastity and "knowing your rights", for lack of a better term. Also (not being a fundy or an avid studier of fundies in their natural habitat, I may be wrong here), do fundies really advocate no sex education until marriage? Lurker 14:59, 28 February 2008 (EST)
 * Well, "abstinence-only" and a lack of discussion of things like homosexuality, masturbation, contraceptive techniques, etc. fall in with American Christian fundy ideas aof what sex education can be....and it's not a stretch to say that telling young women that they have the right to say "NO" is part of that.PFoster 15:02, 28 February 2008 (EST)
 * It't not a huge stretch, maybe, but it definitely is a stretch. Chastity is a complete different area than treating women as property. Lurker 15:06, 28 February 2008 (EST)
 * Lurker: Yes, you are right. This article is in the process of being whipped into shape, as such there are still a number of non-sequiturs in it. We don't even have a "legal" section yet... human  15:27, 28 February 2008 (EST)

"comes home drunk from a night out at Hooters feeling a little frisky,"
Awww... I enjoyed writing that bit...not the bit about the baby shaking; that was somebody else. PFoster 14:30, 28 February 2008 (EST)
 * Yeah, I thought it was funny too, but by the time I was done cleaning out the baby shaking reference (that no one will ever understand), the Hooters got lost as well. Partly I'm trying to broaden the scope from just focussing on Xtianity & American perspectives.  I would like to see sections on various religion's perspectives - and legal ones, as well.  This issue is very broad.  After all, before various "emancipations", women were legally property, not people, etc.


 * Perhaps at some point we can figure out a way to put some of the witty stories back in without potentially trivializing the issue we are discussing? human  14:43, 28 February 2008 (EST)
 * Trivializing? HA!  As if you're one to talk!Ghost of TK 15:00, 28 February 2008 (EST)

Titling
I'm glad someone moved this to the more sensible title. human  15:18, 29 February 2008 (EST)
 * Your welcome. ^_^  -- 15:37, 29 February 2008 (EST)

UK case of Marital rape
There was a case of this that got into the UK media a few years ago - some bloke married a Phillipino lady (I think) and either tried to or actually did have sex with her whilst she was asleep (she woke up, ISTR). It went to court and the husband got convicted of marital rape. I'll see if I can dig up a link or two about the case. Spica 15:03, 1 March 2008 (EST)
 * Cool, I'd love to see some legal stuff in this article. human  16:23, 1 March 2008 (EST)

Places and Such
I'm only familiar with the US, which is why I put in the bit about the US. Thanks to everyone for making it more world conscious. Researcher 00:18, 29 September 2008 (EDT)

1983 perspective
"The women who call for help are generally angry with their husbands and fearful of future attacks; most want information about divorce as opposed to counseling. A very important finding, however, was that although forced sexual intercourse may occur frequently, most women do not view this as rape. One reason is that the same type of victim self-blaming that so often occurs among rape and wife abuse victims is likely, e.g. 'I was provocative at the wrong time'; 'I haven't made myself available enough', affecting perceptions of the act. The image of the stranger-in-the-bushes type of rape is so strong that many women are likely not to even consider that such acts might be rape. And finally, while the women are angered by or fearful of the attacks, the majority still do not consider it a problematic issue, often feeling that such acts are the man's right". The question of marital rape, Victoria R Garnier Barshis, doi:10.1016/0277-5395(83)90031-6, Women's Studies International Forum, Volume 6, Issue 4, 1983, Pages 383–393.

I wonder if the stigmatization of marital rape has the unfortunate effect of making it harder for the victims to get over, because now they think of it as being a bigger deal than people might have considered it to be in the past. Blaming the guy also detracts from attempts at problem-solving; for instance, if the victim doesn't tell herself 'I haven't made myself available enough' then maybe she won't attempt to solve the problem by making herself available more. Landmartian (talk) 20:00, 28 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Are you serious? 20:10, 28 February 2015 (UTC)
 * >problem-solving Wot? 20:19, 28 February 2015 (UTC)
 * To clarify: You can't hope to know if it has had that effect if you trivialize it yourself. 20:21, 28 February 2015 (UTC)