Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/March 2011

March 31st has been named in honor of Terry (with a Y) Schiavo...who may or may not be related to Terri (with an I) Schiavo

First Conservapedia lauds the closing of book stores, now they wax lyrical over potential budget cuts for the Smithsonian. As CP struggles to cope with a DDoS attack, Andy posts his revenge fantasy a news story on the main page. Uncle Ed: PLINO doesn't rhyme with Rhino...true, but only if you don't know what the word "rhyme" means Pot / Kettle Department: Andy slams Facebook for providing "a skewed view of what's really going on." Ken: Can anyone get me a copy of this study? Ken a few minutes later: anyone who gets me a copy of this study is an atheist

Pavlov would be so proud - Jpatt: "Oldest woman in America doesn't have a birth certificate because- Birth certificate? BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!! OBAMA!!! WHERE IS YOURS???????" (Also, somebody should tell her that she is destined to die within two years.) Shorter Ken: Let me explain that that my "atheism and obesity" claptrap isn't about name-calling, by calling you names. Andy continuing his anti-feminist rhetoric: [http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template%3AMainpageright&action=historysubmit&diff=859090&oldid=859057 Geraldine Ferraro has died. The feminist advocate for the so-called "Equal Rights Amendment" supported identical treatment of men, women, boys and girls.] Perish the thought! What? A woman dares to aspire to run a restaurant? The misogynist that is Andy Schlafly is outraged! UPDATE: Andy's not a misogynist; he sees no reason why a woman shouldn't aspire to be a gas station attendant. UPDATE 2: Naive user: Here is a chapter from Proverbs in which a working woman is described as virtuous. Andy: We'll see what the Conservative Bible has to say about that!

Hey Schlafly, wtf is wrong with a woman having a career and not being a stay-at-home mom? Andy the book-burner educator once again celebrates bookstore closings. The Huffington Post "will likely lose more contributors the more it censors"...Andy speaks from experience

Andy: Things were in "pretty good shape" after the Great Flood killed everybody off. There's no pleasing him. You'd think a movie where a pregnant teen doesn't have an abortion would be a good thing, right? [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Essay:Greatest_Conservative_Movies&curid=38288&diff=858886&oldid=858885 Wrong. "Juno pushes feminism and marginalizes the essential role of fatherhood."] Detroit's population has declined by 25% in the last 10 years [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template:Mainpageright&diff=prev&oldid=858743 thanks to... abortion!] <votecp poll=wigo4115 closed="yes">Andy: Anything that a human does is only foolish if other less-intelligent animals do it, too.

<votecp poll=wigo4114 closed="yes">The Mooniefication of Conservapedia continues unabated. Also, our readers don't know none o' that thar foreign crap. <votecp poll=wigo4113 closed="yes">I'm sure it's just a coincidence that Andy's translation of the Bible matches his personal agenda perfectly. <votecp poll=wigo4112 closed="yes">Kowardjerk: I think you're wrong on this matter my good man, now let us discuss this maturely and allow me to demonstrate that in this case..... BLOCKED FOREVER! <votecp poll=wigo4111 closed="yes">[http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Main_Page&curid=110595&diff=858644&oldid=858642 ''Unemployment down slightly = due to conservatives, unemployment back up slightly = due to liberals. Blah blah blah lamestream media...''] <votecp poll=wigo4110 closed="yes">Andy trims the Barack Obama article, removing pictures and some content. Sudden pangs of doubt about the content? Not a bit of it! - he's just wrestling with a bandwidth monster.

<votecp poll=wigo4109 closed="yes">"Give it up Liberals, 62% of E-MAILS support Walker". Which would be great, if it wasn't for the 57% of VOTERS who are against him. Give it up, conservatives. UPDATE: Walker lied about the number of emails supporting him. <votecp poll=wigo4108 closed="yes">This just in! Americans are souring on Obama's Afghanistan war. <votecp poll=wigo4107 closed="yes">Maybe they are. Something tells me the Koch Brothers won't raise the money. <votecp poll=wigo4106 closed="yes">And yea, at that precise moment did all doubt leave the disciples that the Conservative Bible Project was anything other than a pointless blog designed to reinforce the views of its creator. <votecp poll=wigo4105 closed="yes">'The UN will never agree to this'...posted several hours after the UN agreed to it

<votecp poll=wigo4102 closed="yes">Left hand, meet right hand, you two need to talk. <votecp poll=wigo4101 closed="yes">The unconservatively named Fukushima causes Joaquin to have to insert invisible characters into the name of the town's name in order to create the page, despite pleas to Andy for help. The spam filter is to blame, but Joaquin gets around it.

<votecp poll=wigo4100 closed="yes">First the liberals used black holes to draw people away from the Bible, now they are using plate tectonics to draw people away from the flood! <votecp poll=wigo4099 closed="yes">Can you believe Chris Matthews? Using the tragedy in Japan to push his own agenda We would NEVER do that. I repeat, NEVER. <votecp poll=wigo4098 closed="yes">We all know that liberals and atheists are less charitable than Christians and conservatives. So a user twice requests that Conservapedia do something for the people affected by the Japan Earthquake. Andy's reply: "This is not a blog." Meanwhile, liberal Seth Meyers on liberal Saturday Night Live ends his "Weekend Update" with a plea for help (at 38:00). <votecp poll=wigo4097 closed="yes">Did you know that pretzels are Christian symbolism? I didn't. <votecp poll=wigo4096 closed="yes">Meanwhile, Western Europe has been paying something in the region of $8-$9 a gallon for roughly the last 5 years. THANK YOU, AMERICA. <votecp poll=wigo4095 closed="yes">Countdown to Perfection! Because nothing is more perfect than nothingness, or Conservepedia's lack of content. Or in this particular case, the lack of meaning behind Andy's "Conservative Words." Might I suggest saddlebacking? Tea bagging? No?

<votecp poll=wigo4094 closed="yes">Someone doesn't like rock music ... or PhDs <votecp poll=wigo4093 closed="yes"> THIS JUST IN: Radiation harm from Chernobyl disaster overhyped - anti-energy chicken little liberals exploit nuclear tragedy in Japan to scare people away from nuclear energy UPDATE: The more you know..., also here. <votecp poll=wigo4092 closed="yes">I have never used the phrase "irony meter" before now. Andy boasts that WP's editor retention rate is only 12%. Any guesses on what Conservapedia's editor retention rate is? UPDATE: Apparently, Conservapedia's retention rate is two thirds (if you cherry pick three specific editors who joined during a particular period of time) <votecp poll=wigo4091 closed="yes">The mind of a moderately functioning retarded adult in action: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Debate:Is_global_warming_man-made_or_Heaven-sent%3F&oldid=856176 Global warming is a hoax, but temperatures increasing by even a single degree increase food production and good old America deserves credit for that. But maybe goddidit to go easy on old people in the winter.] <votecp poll=wigo4090 closed="yes">Methods of contraception: non-encyclopedic. Abortion: very encyclopedic.

<votecp poll=wigo4089 closed="yes">This just in: The Bible explains dead fish better than atheists can. <votecp poll=wigo4088 closed="yes">Those with an antichristian [sic] and anti-American agenda, such as liberals, homosexuals, atheists, evolutionists and leftists, have attempted to remove the Christian origins of our language by replacing common phrases, such as Shrove Tuesday, with secularized versions. In other news, IT'S MARDI GRAS!!! <votecp poll=wigo4087 closed="yes">Andy claims yet another nonpartisan phrase for conservatism. <votecp poll=wigo4086 closed="yes">Andy: Test scores are unusually high in public schools. 20 minutes later he does some marking: 86/90, 87/90, 89/90, 57/60, 89/90, 90/90, and 88/90.

<votecp poll=wigo4085 closed="yes">Operation: Let's email the attention whore Ken begins. Feel free to let him have it know what a fine job he's been doing not being on CP due to "other commitments". <votecp poll=wigo4084 closed="yes">Andy: We rank number one for secularized language! Oh, wait, I mean, like in Cuba, and such.

<votecp poll=wigo4082 closed="yes">The Republican spending cuts in March have retroactively lowered the unemployment rate in February <votecp poll=wigo4081 closed="yes">Andy: Comparing someone to Hitler is liberal claptrap!