Fun:Conservapedia, The Musical/If You Were Gay (I Wouldn't Talk To You Anymore)

Andy: Ahh, all alone in my study with my favourite Bible... "The conservative's Bible". (Andy's roommate bursts in, wearing stereotypical clothing, e.g. latex black and ultra short shorts, to signify obvious stereotype and a victim for Andy to play on) Rod: Hey Andy! Andy: Hey Rod... Rod: Andy, you'll never guess what happened to me on the subway this morning! He was talking to me, and smiling to me, and he was being really friendly! Andy: That's really interesting. Rod: And, heh, I think he was coming onto me! Andy: So why are you telling me about this (pace increases) Hm? Why should I care? I don't care. What did you have for lunch today? Rod: Hey, don't get so defens-- Andy (loud): I am not getting defensive! --- Rod: Hey, I just think this is something we should be able to talk about, that's all. Andy: You want to talk about this? Fine.

If you were gay, It wouldn't be Okay. I mean 'cuz hey, Jesus don't like that way. Because you see If it were me, I'd drop down on my knees And I would pray (So I'm not gay?).

If you were queer, (But it's not bad!) Year after year, (Being gay is fine!) I'd be in fear Because you're near to Hell. And so if your behind was sore, I would yell get away. Cause you're a gay (It's in my DNA!).

I'm happy Being friends with you. (But you said you hated me because I am gay) And you know it matters to God, If you do it in the ass. (But it's not wrong) Oh yes it is!

If you were Gay, You must go 'way (Why are you so ignorant?) You could not stay; (But I was born this way!) We'd send you on your way. Don't count on me (But we are friends!) To always be Supportive of your way, Or happy that you're gay. I'm really in dismay That you chose to be gay And as they say: When life is through, you'll pay, You're gay! IF YOU WERE GAY