Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/December 2010

Logic, Tzoran-style: We don't just believe something (the virgin birth in this case) is true. We know it. Why? Because "it's documented in the Bible". That elevates it from belief to fact. After Andy gives carte blanche for parodists to post stupid 'essays' his blessings to scholarly efforts, TeacherEd reveals his latest work. Look familiar, anyone? Update: other parodists contributors get in on the act! But Ken, wanting to be the sole producer of such quality work, deletes it and blocks the perpetrator.

 The Bible says gluttony is a sin --> Christians are thin --> Atheists are fat. QED. Oh, also something about lesbians. CP uses Wikileaks: Round 2. Like last time, Wikileaks is still a site full of criminal hackers and terrorists. Unless, once again, it supports your POV. But this time, the source used hasn't been proven wr...oh. SOURCE: 788 scientific papers were retracted from 2000 to 2010. The source says this was an impressively low retraction rate, but goes on to wonder why so many of the retracted papers involve American scientists. CP: SCIENTISTS ARE LIARS!

CP is really calling the kettle black, followed by calling it Hitler. This just in: GOP mostly conservative. Damn those modern journalists and their use of the correct word (at least for anyone who owns a google). Andy demonstrates the triumph of home-schooling by "Americanizing" theatre to theatrer. After editing a page about peanut butter on aSK, 🇰🇪 gets an idea ...... wait for it ..... BANG! UPDATE: And..... It makes the front page! And then disappears after a half dozen edits, in favor of the Baby Jesus, perhaps?

Well, this isn't going to end well Prognostication CP style: The START treaty is unlikely to pass thanks to Republicans. Reality: The START Treaty Cloture vote passes 67-28 and, barring direct intervention by g0D, will probably be ratified Wednesday. At this rate, and if CP's future-telling abilities hold true, George Soros could end up as Republican candidate for the 2012 Presidential Elections. Update: START is ratified. And nothing says 19th century like controlling the Internet After a new editor asks for help, Ed "Bad Touch" Poor obliges in the only way he knows.

Kowardjerk: Do as I say, not as I do. Damn those liberals and their use of modern synonyms Update: Gasp! Liberalism has even infected the Conservabible! <votecp poll=wigo3941 closed="yes">Wikileaks is a site full of criminal hackers and cyber-terrorists. Unless it supports your POV, then it's fine. Oh, except that particular story has been proven false. <votecp poll=wigo3940 closed="yes">Oh, goody. Now Conservapedia is telling us that fairies are real. They "are thought to have reached North America unnoticed on the boats of the early colonists." Way to go, Amanda! Right up there with unicorns, dragons, and sasquatch. PS:Rationalwiki is very proud to announce the first of these articles is a clear case of Poe's Law originating from this very website. Congrats Everybody! UPDATE: 🇰🇪 reverts on the grounds that fairies are unbiblical and that (unlike angels and demons) there is no real evidence of their existence.

<votecp poll=wigo3939 closed="yes">American diplomat Richard Holbrooke died on December 13. What has he accomplished? Don't try Conservapedia. <votecp poll=wigo3938 closed="yes">Conservapedia's War on Soccer continues as Andy restores deletion associating the sport with (gasp) Socialism and Hollywood Values!!!!! <votecp poll=wigo3937 closed="yes">Only "Bad Touch" Poor could make a spelling correction creepy. <votecp poll=wigo3936 closed="yes">We don't care much for round these parts. <votecp poll=wigo3935 closed="yes">All public school superintendents are godless atheists! No comment necessary.

<votecp poll=wigo3934 closed="yes">TK: "DO NOT remove posts by administrators, or anyone else for that matter, TerryB. This coming from TK? Oh the irony! <votecp poll=wigo3933 closed="yes">CP user one-ups Foxnews and gets taken in by the Weekly World News.The story takes a bizarre twist as Ken blocks poor Willminator.

<votecp poll=wigo3932 closed="yes">12/7: "Obama's Tax Cut Deal With Republicans Infuriates Liberals. and it's a Conservative win on taxes!; 12/8: "Anger of House Democrats boils over concerning President Barack Obama's tax cut deal with congressional Republicans."; 12/14 - No! Wait! It's a phony "tax deal" being pushed by Harry Reid through Congress. <votecp poll=wigo3931 closed="yes">Breaking news from JPatt: August 23, 2009 December 12th, North Carolina Senate member and gun control advocate R.C. Soles Jr. shoots an intruder. <votecp poll=wigo3930 closed="yes">CP: UK atheists cut down Christian Holy Tree!!!! Reality: A 'holy tree' in Glastonbury is vandalised, and there are several hypotheses as to who or why - including that it might have been modern-day Puritan Christians who saw it as an object of worship. <votecp poll=wigo3929 closed="yes">It was unusually cold in one place for one week, so by Andy logic Global Warming is false.

<votecp poll=wigo3928 closed="yes">Unicorns and dragons are real. The Bible says so. <votecp poll=wigo3927 closed="yes">The attempt to repeal "Don't Ask Don't Tell" has failed; therefore, liberals should go build hospitals. <votecp poll=wigo3926 closed="yes">And the new front runner in the race for the coveted conservative of the year award is: Andy Aschlafly (sic)! Go Andy! <votecp poll=wigo3925 closed="yes">TK: Glenn Beck is top celebrity charity giver for raising $1M and atheists and liberals aren't charitable and don't build hospitals; Reality: liberal Oprah Winfrey often gives $40 million to $50 million per year as liberals are usually at the top of the philanthropy lists and China has plenty of hospitals and Cuba sends more medics overseas than all the G8 countries combined.

<votecp poll=wigo3923 closed="yes">Elizabeth Edwards dies and Andy dances on her grave <votecp poll=wigo3922 closed="yes">Andrew Schlafly a strawman? That's how Discovery Institutes's news outlet evolutionnews.org sees his "misguided attack on Lenski's work". And what has Conservapedia to say about evolutionnews.org? It is accurately delivering information... <votecp poll=wigo3921 closed="yes">Gentlemen! 🇰🇪 resurrects his aborted anti-abortion project! Óle Óle Óle! <votecp poll=wigo3920 closed="yes">Shorter Andy: "It's cold today, ergo climate change is a hoax."

<votecp poll=wigo3919 closed="yes">Julian Assange is a wanted (alleged) rapist, Wikileaks is a "vandal site." Then, Assange says Obama should resign, and all the nasty qualifiers are dropped and he's a credible source. Bastards. <votecp poll=wigo3918 closed="yes">"Trim a bit" Andy-style: Remove positive story about liberal socialist British PM from halfway down the broken news ticker. <votecp poll=wigo3917 closed="yes">Andy's non-sequitur of the week: "list of RNC chairman candidates grows, indicating the decline of the Democratic party" <votecp poll=wigo3916 closed="yes">[http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template%3AMainpageright&action=historysubmit&diff=831569&oldid=831561 ''Behold! Conservapedia has successfully predicted that someone might possibly consider announcing their intention to perhaps run at some undetermined point in the near or distant future!'']

<votecp poll=wigo3915 closed="yes">In a remarkable display of cognitive dissonance, Andy celebrates the failure of a bill to extend tax-cuts <votecp poll=wigo3913 closed="yes">Only on Conservapedia would the President visiting the troops on the battlefield be a bad thing. <votecp poll=wigo3912 closed="yes">Impotent Rage Department: With no proles left to abuse on CP, TK stokes an old grudge against the only sysop in recent history to stand up to his cretinism and bullying by replacing his signature for hers on the "welcome" message she left for some random user more than 21 months ago. <votecp poll=wigo3911 closed="yes">Andy, beefing up on his reading skills, perceives that an article contains the words "more" and "stars" in the same sentence, and decides to use it to trumpet another example of quote mining Biblical scientific foreknowledge. <votecp poll=wigo3910 closed="yes">"Vandal site." Sounds familiar.