Recipe:Trilobites in Aspic

Description
A very slightly sought after delicacy, trilobites in aspic is an extreme challenge to the modern chef. If necessary, larks' tongues can be substituted.

Ingredients

 * Trilobite DNA
 * Growth medium (dilute ocean water)
 * Plankton, krill, etc.
 * Aspic

Making Trilobites

 * 1) Extract trilobite DNA from sample found in incompletely mineralized fossil at natural history museum.
 * 2) Call Michael Crichton to get his secret process for transforming the DNA into trilobite eggs. Discuss the anthropogenic climate change farce and its effect on trilobite growth rates. A Ouija board might come in handy.
 * 3) Hatch trilobite eggs in sterile ocean water at a lower salt concentration than currently present.
 * 4) Introduce larger and larger prey for them to eat as they grow, eg, plankton, then sea urchin larvae, then krill.
 * 5) Harvest your trilobites after their third molt, while the shell is still soft, freeze until you have enough for dinner.

L'art de Cooquing

 * 1) Thaw the tasty trilobites.
 * 2) Sautee lightly in Devonian fern oil (you did get some fern DNA as well, right?).
 * 3) Put them in aspic (whatever that is) and chill.

Service

 * 1) Serve on a bed of lettuce, with cocktail sauce (see here).
 * 2) Be careful not to let any live trilobites escape into the environment.

Makes a great appetizer before a nicely stuffed roast pterodactyl holiday dinner.

Note: Young Earth Creationists may be able to find more fresh items than the rest of us.