Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/February 2008


 * It only took half a year and several revisions, but this article now actually has content. You have to wonder how one becomes addicted to gender.
 * Go! Go! Maestro! What does he mean opinion?
 * Er, only liberals think that homeschooling means being schooled at home.
 * "There are 61 entries in Category:US Supreme Court Cases." O RLY?
 * While I may be incorrect, I am  NEVER WRONG! Thank you.
 * In her classic fawning behavior, BethanyS writes a one-line article about a single, made-up, *magical* word from her favorite book, that even fan-friendly Wikipedia wouldn't allow
 * Not content with brainwashing children, two-bit lawyer Andy sets out to brainwash legal experts, and become the leading resource for making shit up about the Constitution.
 * Is (Sir Winston) Churchill going to go the same way as Dawkins? UPDATE: The countdown to bannination begins here. It is! It's a Dawkins all over again. Update banhammer after this. (but only 2 hours ! Is Andy going soft? The final word here - it's just growing too ridiculous.
 * The motivation, it rises to... bottomless depths: Create a good entry, get a 2-hour block for (accidentally?) using "CE" instead of "AD".
 * Angelina Jolie is only the UN Goodwill Ambassador when she says something CP can approve of - other than that, she's just an actress
 * An incredibly polite Bohdan asks Thehellraiser to 'please stop' what he's doing.
 * New definition: IMPROVED means ''inserting a little anti-liberalism
 * Their There They're slipping!
 * A new user emerges at CP, and Poe's Law is in full effect. And BrianCo is smelling parody. Update: Andy deletes Liberal Insanity and almost 4 hours later CPAdmin1 deletes all of the remaining ones... or not?
 * Huh, apparently PhyllisS is Home-Learnded
 * I think we can now trace back to where Iduan went wrong. Don't block daddy's little girl.
 * After 2300 years of searching for an honest man, Diogenes makes the mistake of coming to CP a few weeks ago, and reams Andy out about "CollegeRepublican". He ends with "And finally, will your response to this be manly, or will it be cowardly?".  The response was of course deletion and burning of evidence.  He comes back again, provokes more of Andy's manliness here, and earns a five year block. The crime? "messing with Andy." Crocoite, you're an ass.  Update:  User "Scheisssturm" (the CP name police apparently couldn't be bothered to look it up in a German dictionary) puts it back in.  Counting the milliseconds.... 42 minutes, to be exact.
 * No Encyclopedia for Old Men: the final sentence of this comment wins the award for understatement of the year.
 * This just in from the Department of Irony: the first sentence of this article reads as if it was written by someone who doesn't speak English very well. Oh, wait...it was written by a homeschooler. Now I understand...
 * Andy Logic: Apparently Duke is one of the most crime ridden universities in the country, so when accusations of a crime there have taken place, any good person should immediately dismiss them as bogus.
 * PJR still appears to rely on Entropy or some such misunderstanding of Information Theory to disprove evolution.
 * I guess this is called zero-demand planning: The new Supreme Court course will begin on... January 2... January 7... January 14... February 7... yeah, whatever. This is hardly surprising, looking at the enrollment. Even assuming they're not mostly socks (bad assumption), almost all the "students" have very few edits, mostly 5 months ago. About the only student to edit recently has made Liberal edits, and will likely soon be blocked for 90:10 violation.
 * Andy seems to have become a strange parody of himself. And as a bonus we get a glimpse of the next liberal bashing article: Liberal Punctuation.  Liberals don't like others to ask questions as evidenced by their limited use of question marks
 * Yet another in Andy's long line of spurious claims in an attempt to belittle minorities and validate himself.
 * Captain Kangaroo lays down the law about citing references. "You show me yours and we'll show you ours. You first."
 * Creationist scientific method at work: state the conclusion, then look for the evidence that supports it. (Second paragraph.)
 * Is there a more blatant violation (see last sentence here) of Commandments 1 and 2? This is made funnier by the fact that Karajou reverts it. Twice.
 * Phy's boyfriend Kektklik bites it from DanH, for saying that rape isn't so bad. But doesn't Phyllis Schlafly Sr. agree?
 * Is this really the final chapter of the Iduan saga? UPDATE: No more blocking/unblocking privileges. UPDATE 2: WTF??? Update 3: Final appeal, and final stab in the back.
 * Wow....just WOW! (Especially since this is his reaction to somebody calling out his habit of using multiple question/exclamation marks)
 * It took them a few months, but übervandal MexMax they finally removed some obvious parody on the "Liberal Intellectualism" essay. How long til they find the rest?
 * Does Crocodile ever look at the comments after his quotes?
 * Iduan recently saw 'a Oscars show'.
 * Iduan is so desparate for sysop powers, he will... remove others' support for his sysopship. Way to asskiss, Iduan!
 * We knew this was coming so it shouldn't surprise us. Liberals are Satan. Update: Nelson Mandela was "influenced by ideas that find their origin with Satan."
 * CrisWa says we shouldn't kill all the homosexuals. It would be Impractical!  Update:  Even DanH thinks that's going overboard
 * A productive edit, but with a sarcastic summary, will get you blocked. You don't fuck with teh homeskooolerz! Or imply that they're Shakespearean monkeys!
 * Oh dear someone's using logic on Andy's talk page.
 * The CP Commandments explicitly point at the MoS when it comes to "how to flag an article or section of an article which is uncited" (and that is to use the "uncited" template). Of course, Crocoite and Andy stand above such silly rules, and thus, "liberal friendship" needs no citations.
 * Behold, the Minister's son, whose great works have distinguished him from the common man. As for his sister, her works don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy, crazy, crazy world. Also beneath consideration, apparently, is the minister's son who insists upon using a girl's name (he's counted as a minister's daughter, I guess). Although such people are extremely rare, Wikipedia has an article about them, and they even have their own websites and organizations.
 * Does Andy really know what sort of guy his daughter hangs out with?
 * A long overdue update? Also, do you know what pretzels have their shape?
 * Crocoite's idea of how to work on a wiki: "You don't like the way I do it? Too bad! You can't stop me!" (Yeah, that isn't exactly news...)
 * Crock o'shite, you are the best apple polisher! This fawning praise certainly brought a tear to my eye! But, wait, there's more! The sickening love-in continues.
 * Here is a delightful combination of Schlafly statistics, religious holier-than-thou and... Google fights?
 * If gay kids are murdered, they probably brought it upon themselves
 * Andy's latest bout with OCD and paranoia gives us an article on liberal friendship. We can't wait for Liberal grading. Update: And here it is! Proving Poe's Law once more. And now, Andy's Seal of ApprovalTM
 * CP is so patriotic they know how to spell their own country's name - Update: CPAdmin1 apparently refreshes WIGO every minute.
 * I think reporting on vandalism is okay when it's this funny. "Mr. Schlafly, tear down this blog!"
 * Do you want to weep for your country (or, if you're one of "them for'ners," weep for America)? Then look no farther!  Apparently, one unfortunate picture showing one looking away from the flag is proof positive of one's lack of patriotism.  Also, another Karajou gem - if you were in the military, and still disagree with me, you must be deranged or lying about being in the military.  Or maybe you're just smarter than me.  Either way, you're not welcome at CP.
 * Finally having realized that 90/10 threats against people with less than five edits look silly, Ed creates "Don't complain" - the title says it all, really. Update: When the Wikipedia-hate goes too far: Here at Conservapedia, as at Conservapedia, we're... Update 2: You're welcome.
 * Conservapedians would never be guilty of deliberate ignorance. I don't know what you're talking about.  Update #1, and Update #2. That's right folks, we now report vandalism the truth being censored on CP!
 * Andy blathers pontificates on the merits of his 90/10 rule.
 * The heat must be getting to Karajou's head - yet another user blocked without making a single edit.
 * Karajou: Coward. Update: "pwned".
 * Andy shows his aptitude for conservative denial. Apparently, the fact that 7 people have all been murdered (and several more gravely injured) for the exact same reason is "biased," "dubious," and "meaningless". Translation: It was right-wing nutjobs doing the killing, which has to make all conservatives look bad by association, so we'd better stuff that one down the memory hole. Of course, if a liberal — or someone we think is a liberal — should kill someone, you'll be certain to hear about it from us first.
 * "[T]he entire military is overwhelmingly-conservative" - so sayeth Karajou. (How does he know that? Easy, he was in the Navy!) Update: your father's service means nothing.
 * SSchultz is sailing far too close to the wind on this one... And sure enough: silly liberal, tricks are for kids.
 * (A)Schlafly giveth, (R)Schlafly taketh away.
 * Accusing one's ideological opponents of mental illness is a liberal trick. Good thing that self-respecting conservatives would never do that.
 * The Assfly's appreciation of critical thinking in math is only ok if he does it. He'll have none of it.
 * Conservapedia quotemines itself! Hillary Clinton shows her liberal style by telling somebody that he should be ashamed of himself. Too bad that entry #28 goes on to say "'while never saying that about a fellow liberal'" - I guess either Hillary or Obama are now conservatives.
 * It's getting harder and harder to believe this guy isn't a parodist...
 * Sigh. Liberal Logic, Liberal Denial, Liberal Hysteria, Liberal Intellectualism, Liberal Obfuscation, Liberal Redefinition, Liberal Style, Liberal Supremacist, Liberal Tools, Liberal Tactics, Liberal Deceit - and now, Liberal Tricks. Andy - seriously - I'm WORRIED about you, bro. You're showing some classic symptoms of paranoid delusion. You need to get a hobby or something. Go for a walk. Hug your wife. Get a puppy. Something. Update: This article evolved was created by God to become a serious bashfest. Current favorite: You oppose killing whales, but not offensive content on TV? You damn liberal hypocrite!
 * Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd....he's OUT, again.
 * "If you withhold truth just for the sake of spreading your view it means that your view is misguided." I wonder how Karajou will react...
 * "Mr. Schlafly, I have here a list of ex-sysops. Can you tell me why some of them have seemingly retired?  For example, why did tmtoulouse retire?
 * We all make tyops, spelig erors and grammatical faux pas, but the "social issues" section here is a gold mine. All we need now are some patent miners to get "Liven"'s hard-core liberal stance removed!
 * " [blah blah blah "] is the new "[...]".
 * Andy's daughter, young Phyllis junior (Phy?), apparently is consorting with a wandal! And still, Andy begs the boyfriend to stay.  Ain't it grand to have no principles whatsoever?  Also, little Phyllis seems to be an evolutionist!. Update Iduan gets even more desperate and sucks up to Andy once again by praising his daughter's beau.
 * Conservapedia uses blog as a main page news source: the ironically titled "Intellectual Conservative." Thanks, Crocoite!
 * Breaking news: Wikipedia only has 3687 editors! (Alternate punchline: The other 6.5 million registered editors belong to completely minor religions...)
 * CP Priorities: You could wildly upload Goatse pics after just 8 days of editing (plus three days of being blocked for violating the first CP Commandment), but before you get the right to simply edit the site 24/7, Andy needs to see some identification - I guess it's so Karajou has an easier start when it comes to threatening and blackmailing you the moment you step on his feet. And so you won't add the aformentioned goatse pic to all the pages while everyone is asleep.
 * What relevance could the accused's immigration status could have in this news? Oh yeah, legal citizens never crash. They also apparently have the right to kill children. And Karajou's response to accusations of xenophobia is straightforward (bye bye Sawneybeane). Update: Because he also "whinned" about it, Jdellaro also received Kara's infamous "last warning"
 * A newcomer tentatively wonders how best to deal with Northern Irish political sensitivities, and a kind Foxy Gentleman takes the trouble to explain gently how such matters are handled in the Schlafly Blogosphere. Speaking of Schlafly & his ideology, another contributor brings up the IRA.
 * It dissappeared down the memory hole, we don't want to know about that.
 * Crap about Kangaroos is fine, the same kind of crap about Australian Aborigines isn't.
 * Joaquin shows that his knowledge of psychosis has grown since he started working with Andy.
 * Now here's a first. I've imagined many amusing things happening to Andy, but never forming part of a meal.
 * Well yes, one generally does feel more stress when they actually have to think for themselves. For some interesting reading, check out Andy's source.
 * Lesser being, cease your feeble attempts at providing information to my holy ground this very instant. You should only make broad articles like those I create.
 * MexMax, Conservapedia edit/upload/block-rightsholder, blocks the entire site, unblocks a couple old-school Cabal users, and fires off a Parthian Shot before meeting his ultimate fate. Samwell Incident Redux? Update: This never happened... right?
 * How many extremist traits can you spot on CP?
 * Andy's team gets pwnd in contest, again. However, Iduan and Andy decide to change the point system to try and garner more bonus points. Which quite rightly annoys Fox. UPDATE: Crocodile Rock takes a dig at Andy for trying to change the rules in the middle of the game.
 * FIRST!!!!111! Plus ca change, plus c'est le meme chose. Something fuckin' tragic happens. A Conservapedian jerks off over it.
 * How many extremist traits can you spot on CP?
 * Andy's team gets pwnd in contest, again. However, Iduan and Andy decide to change the point system to try and garner more bonus points. Which quite rightly annoys Fox.
 * FIRST!!!!111! Plus ca change, plus c'est le meme chose. Something fuckin' tragic happens. A Conservapedian jerks off over it.
 * Gee, Wally, I'm waiting until I get married to have sex, maybe longer!
 * I <3 persecution complexes! "Whenever someone disagrees with us, it must be because they're mentally disturbed or against free speech."
 * Best satire ever, here: "Liberal response: Lots of college shootings. We need fewer guns. Conservative response: Lots of college shootings. We need fewer colleges."
 * Here at Conservapedia, hate speech against gays is fine, but hate speech against groups we like is a felony!
 * I present to you... Conservaphobia - "the hysterical, irrational opposition to conservatives, conservative speech and Conservapedia" (emphasis not in article).
 * PJR is slipping. A self-confessed agnostic has to correct him on his Bible passages.
 * More Schlafly "liberal" tirades coming. Be excited.  B.E. Excited! (But I don 't think User:BenKerrs has a long career ahead of him as a CP editor. How long before the razor-sharp intellects in charge rumble him?) Yup, this BenKerr guy is for the chop. I give him about five more minutes... BenKerrs=Bonkers! Update: Andy's "weapon of gun" phrase is almost screaming for a lolcat.
 * Connected to the ban of ModerateCatholic: A "Moderate" is just "a liberal who hasn't realized it yet" - of course, Andy has to one-up Kara: "Or a liberal who is hiding that fact in an attempt to pull youngsters and others over to the liberal side."
 * "Moderate Catholic" is not only objectionable as a user name, but is also a contradiction in terms - according to Andy. However, the name officially wasn't the reason for the block. It was for "picking a fight on the Deceit talk page" - the evidence clearly shows that a mere six weeks ago the editor was in a fightin' mood!
 * One of the safest countries in the world has gun control. This of course doesn't mean that it's so safe because of gun control, but rather that it would be even safer without gun control! PS: Gun Control now causes more rape, according to Andy, and the assault rate has increased in New Zealand because people are no longer allowed to walk around with automatic weapons (which surely was commonplace 20 years ago).
 * Crime rates are going down everywhere (another made-up assfly statistic, about a topic he knows nothing about) except you know... those areas where it wentup
 * Something you won't learn on CP because it can't be tidily sloppily attributed to atheism: the deadliest school killing in U.S. history happened in 1927.
 * Evolution! On CP, it's not even a silly theory anymore, it's just an atheistic idea
 * Is it even worth reporting school shootings anymore? Moreover, is it worth WIGO-ing the massive erections that Assfly gets from them?
 * Conservapedians' idea of improving stub articles is to stick random, unrelated images on them. Update: Until WIGO does the sysops' work for them, yet again.
 * I wonder what the charming Patricia thinks of her husband's hate-filled rants? Maybe Mormons, as Mike Huckabee might want us to believe, aren't Christians after all. Update: Another embarassment for the great liberal-basher, as it looks like Mrs. C got her husband to back down after all.
 * Just what do you do when the really great site that you found turns out to be a hoax on vigilantes? Blame it on (liberal) deceit and write some crock o' shite as a way of covering your embarassment. That's what.
 * Removal of Andy's junk = 1 week block. What? Andy's junk violates the CP Commandments? No, it doesn't! After all, regular users don't get to decide who violates the Commandments! PS: Arguing after this block = Promised perma-ban!
 * Interestingly, so does my calendar. Nevermind that wikipedia says the day is named after Christian Martyrs and that its also known as. Curiously, adding the Saint before Valentine's Day is a great way to remember what?  That's right, an Al Capone ordered massacre!
 * The assault on CP's rather more... unusual articles on homosexuality begins. When will Ken start crying about his babies?
 * With logic like this, I really can't wait (any longer) for Andy's Critical Thinking in Math class.
 * Is Iduan a lackey? No, he couldn't be, could he?
 * The story of a man and his delusions: "Damn, the Statistics didn't work Let's try turning it around Fuck, that won't work either" IDUAN COMES TO THE RESCUE but he just won't quit
 * Further proof that Andy tends to fixate on one side of an issue.
 * This(which is entirely and demonstrably true) earns a five year ban.
 * Big developments coming! Conservative's going to bloviate about some right-wing, unheard-of pundit for a couple months, then nothing will happen, again!  Exciting!
 * RobS stops by to say, "Hey Andy!" Long time no hear.
 * Suddenly, referencing Wikipedia became good practice.
 * Damning evidence that homeschoolers are better at board games Homeschoolers are the bestest
 * Hee Hee. Update: Murder is awful, so that's why I categorise this article as abortion, rather than as a hate crime.
 * If only this would happen to the real one.
 * You know things are bad when they put this idiot in charge of quality control.
 * The latest liberal myth? Falling in love.
 * Incredible, but the creator of this new article is not Conservative, but Ed Poor. Wait, MRSA is a "gay plague"? MRSA runs rampant in high school locker rooms...Is Ed calling our valuable high school athletes gay?
 * Crocoite digs deep for quality examples of Hollywood's rampant culture of death.
 * Schlafly statistics to the rescue!
 * CP finally posted something that was interesting... until the part where it calls Robert Spencer "one of the nation's leading experts on the Islamic religion". *sigh*...
 * PJR tries to say something half intelligent, but can't get past his narrow-minded view of atheism. The idiocy that spews forth from his brain is that atheists don't believe they have any emotions, because they can't see them. And love can only come from a Christian god.
 * Nelson Mandela. African American.UPDATE: HelpJazz blames his racism/fundamental stupidity on "Political Correctness."
 * Probably not WIGO worthy, but... OMG, SHE spoke.
 * But what if reducing an article does make it better?
 * Fallout from the last competition - The guillible Bethany wouldn't think Andy would copy this from this easily found page (first entry of first google search to be precise). Well, at least its a .gov site.
 * Andy misinterpets OurMike's point. Selective reading at its best.
 * Love, with added improvements UPDATE! A slight Change to the article, by a concerned citizen. Now, to wait for the BanHammer...(also, note how Andy seems to deny the atheists, as "materialists", feel any emotion, yet he constantly refers to "liberal hate".)
 * True to form, Andy pounces on Richard Dawkins' retirement with this gem on the mainpage. Some highlights: not only was Professor Dawkins (oops!) never a professor, but atheists can't experience "love," only "substitute love!"
 * Psst, Andy..When posting misleading headlines on your blog, you should make sure the article doesn't contain something really damaging to your other positions like the president's approval ratings are at historic lows too . Proper grammar helps too.
 * Who is the mysterious stranger called Temlakos? You will never know...
 * Randy Quaid is not a Scotsman
 * Andy at his best: a rational explanation of why "virtually all" media has a liberal bias.
 * The irony! It burrrrrns!
 * It's official: Thomas Pyncheon is garbage.
 * It's not copying, it's not breaking the first CP commandment, it's Fair Use
 * Sysop Fox sez:"Lol - rewording material is not plagiarism, and permission is not needed therefore."' for this gem of an article. It only looks the same it is not totally the same.
 * They do say you can't polish a turd. At Conservapedia, they mean it! One editor foolishly tries, but cops a 5 year block as Crocoite swiftly returns the Dawkins article to its former glory! English, motherfucker, do you speak it?
 * OH NOES!
 * Iduan meets CP's newest feature: The Guard Dog. It blocks him for a day (For making many edits in a minute? Or for making many removing edits? Who knows, transparency on CP is a no-go) and then Iduan blocks himself for 5 years after asking Philip why (Philip later says its a mistake and unblocks him)
 * Crocite whips it out in an attempt to lay down the law. but not, mind you, for our "liberal enjoyment." That really is ironic.
 * They have been so popular that Conservapedia is right out of night editing rights.
 * All actors hold the exact same opinions (liberal ones, of course)
 * It's official, they have rat eaters at CP. What's next, kittehs?
 * Bethany wouldn't mind if people messed with her user page... LOL whoops, it's been protected since June hahahaha...
 * Fact tags is evil, and so are AFD notes. Crocoite simply won't discuss it, period. Oh, and did we mention that placing the AFD note (twice) was evil enough for a week-long timeout? Kinda begs the question why CP has Fact and AFD templates to begin with... Update: Still not discussing - and Bethany assists.
 * Ooh, nice quotes there; "Grow up. Forget about what's done. It's done and you can't change the past. It's impossible." It seems as though Bethany is completely unfamiliar with her sysop tools, which allow her to, erm, unblock people.
 * Even an omnipotent God has limits.
 * It is now 'liberal games' to edit an article because it's wrong, and there is zero evidence even presented that it's right.
 * Uncle Ed essentially admits he uses deceit in the front of the trusworthy encyclopedia. Update: And the hammer of justice sweeps in and, err... politely asks him to stop.
 * Justice may not be swift but boy, it is long!
 * Ed Poor makes another absolutely magnificent edit
 * Another editor is blocked for reverting Andy's pet project despite Andy being proven wrong over and over and over ... Are the sysops really that loyal that they'll let Andy make an ass of himself or is that their goal?
 * Want edit rights? It seems it depended on whom you asked, but then no, no it doesn't.
 * Feebasfactor wants to prove a negative
 * Heath Ledger was an icon for liberals
 * Assfly gets totally pwned by Sergeant Schultz. See it while it lasts.
 * "Moniter(sic) the Google rankings of our Theory of evolution and Atheism articles and don't be surprised if they go up in next 2-12 months. :)" Okay then, Ken, We'll do that. Translation: "Just like before, I'll visit various creation/evolution forums and spam the link, using a few sock names to make it look like I'm merely a curious visitor."
 * Dan claims independent candidates for the Republican party.
 * Andy can't comprehend that chirality, informally known as the handedness of molecules, an analogy, has nothing to do with hands. As a bonus, Assfly seems to expect atheists and God to act in exactly the same way (anyone here create the world in the past week?)
 * Schlafly statistics to the rescue again? Let's see if all the boxes are ticked... Completely made up statistic? Check! Completely unrelated statistic (suicides vs. drug use)? Check! Insensitive assertion that 100 suicides are insignificant? Check!
 * Scholarships, the new liberal gimmick
 * COI much? Ok, then.
 * C&P editors cannot even cut and paste properly nowadays.
 * For small values of improved. "...a novel of immorality" wha?
 * Is Ed actually saying Wikipedia was useful? And right about something?  On the Main Page!?  That ain't gonna last... Update Can I call 'em, or what?
 * Ah, the power of Conservative Dishonesty. Teh Foxpuppet  replies to to user TheGuy, including a condescending little "take a wikibreak" comment, immediately after blocking him for a month.  Dude, if he's pwning you in an argument, be a man for once and just admit it and move on.
 * The requirement that CP accounts use the person's real name seems a bit arbitrary. Accounts are blocked for this&mdash;by ASchlafly (30 since mid-November), TK (9), DanH (4), Iduan (2), BethanyS (2), DavidR (1), MexMax (1).  But the funny thing is: one never sees blocks for this from such stalwarts as Karajou, Crocoite, Conservative, LearnTogether, or HelpJazz.
 * I guess you have to have them, to have them...
 * Sometimes, it's really, really hard to tell parody comments from the real thing
 * Iduan apparently ordered the Secret Book of CP Rules via Amazon - he finally realized that fact tags are evil