Conservapedia:Parthian shot/Iduan2

It's been a lot of fun, but I suppose the dream is over. When I first came to Conservapedia I was a skeptic. I wasn't sure how well this site could do - or even whether it would last. Then though, by some chance, I decided to join, I edited a bit, and I haven't looked back. I realized that Conservapedia's future is certainly bright. I began to develop an interest in both the mainspace and template-space, and I compiled many articles that I am proud of. In the mainspace: HTML table formatting, Eddystone Lighthouse, XYZ Affair, Gang, Waves and Marquis de Lafayette. In the template space: every single clean up template - as I designed a standardized look through Template:Template (and thus Template:CPCN, Template:Expand, Template:CPLock, Template:CPGram, Template:CPPOV, Template:Stub), Template:History Terms and Template:Baseball. My final edit statistics include 981 mainspace edits and 210 template edits.

However, recently I've come to feel isolated from the community. Now this is not to say that the community has been cruel to me, many of you have been incredible in fact. Yet, I've felt like there was absolutely not trust placed in me. About a month ago I tried to get sysop rights, because I have been active in reverting vandalism and thus I come upon articles that should be deleted frequently, I have been active in cleaning up grammar, and many protected pages could use the minor cleanup that I've been willing to do, and also many templates are protected, and sysop rights would allow me to access those. The need was obviously present. However, I was ignored in all of my attempts, and then, I asked for night rights - as if you take a look at my edit history, aside from the weekend edits, most of my edits are late, as I do stay up late, and if I'm up, I might as well have the option to edit CP. Surprisingly, I was also ignored here. Then even more surprisingly, a user with next to no experience was given night rights, and this user turned out to be a vandal. I could not at the time understand how a user with no where near the record that I had was trusted so quickly, and this prompted more requests, yet eventually I made my peace, and for a while I did not ask for rights at all.

Until recently. Two days ago I asked for night rights and was again rejected, however what pretty much set all this into place was the fact that I noticed that once again, an editor with far less experience than me was given night rights. It's really hard to express in words my feelings over all of this. Even now I'm a little upset, as I have dedicated my time to Conservapedia - I have never vandalized a page, and I have been willing to do many tasks to better Conservapedia, yet still no one can trust me to edit at night. I loved to edit Conservapedia, but the feeling of being unwanted was driving me away. I was still upset today, so I sent an email to Andy explaining that I really felt like I needed to become sysop, as not only did I need the rights for my editing, but also because I felt I had established myself as a consistently good user, and I needed to know that in return I had achieved some trust. I also told Andy that if he felt I did not deserve these rights, then I need him to talk to me on AIM (private) so that I can have some idea of how to proceed. If not, I would leave Conservapedia after the contest, as I do not wish to create a huge fuss by interrupting the Contest. The reason I don't want to create this fuss is because I still love Conservapedia. I take great enjoyment editing it, and I do not wish for it to decline in any way.

Andy did not grant me sysop privileges, and apparently he felt I wasn't even good enough to speak to, because he did not talk to me either (he said he was unaccustomed to AIM - which frankly, is a lie, as through both other Conservapedians and an alternate username I discovered he was online almost all the time, but I guess I'm used to that double standard). And thus, at the conclusion of the contest, I will be blocking myself indefinitely and leaving Conservapedia. Andy, I really do admire what you've done here - in my eyes you're a great man and I hope that you have the great success with Conservapedia you deserve, in fact, honestly, I even hope that I'm invited back (obviously with rights), but as I said in the email, I wouldn't have cared if you had given me the chance and then taken it away the second I made even the smallest mistake, but I needed that chance. &mdash; Unsigned, by: Iduan / talk / contribs