Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/April 2008


 * Conservative tells the truth about the theory of evolution page. Screen capture here.
 * Less lulzy than our regular WIGO's but fascinating if you don't know much about the wacky Unification Church and its founder Sun Myung Moon, i.e. the cult known as Moonies - Ed Poor, a Moonie himself, fights off information about Moon and the Church, and locks both pages, proclaiming himself the leading internet authority on the subject. Meanwhile, reasonable questions are asked but Ed deletes every mention and blocks all parties involved. UPDATE:  People appeal to Andy, thinking that perhaps Ed has gone so far overboard that even Andy will see it.  Will Andy intervene?  no.  He burns it instead.
 * Somehow I don't think love and truth are as useful as statistics and risk.
 * Pwning Aschlafly can get you places (that are not on CP).
 * If only it was this easy. And: Bleach the controversy!
 * "You are only allowed to add criticism of YEC if you also show why the criticism is wrong and unfounded. Also, it must be concise, just like our criticism of evolution is."
 * Say something nice about a lib? Are a Lib? Then it's BULLSHIT!!!
 * The *Sigh* response... Item #1 in the Liberal Style, says Andy. But unfortunately, no-one pays any attention to Andy.
 * Finally Bohdan puts a stop to the anti-liberal neocon rants of well-known conservative Gulik5.
 * "Headlights?!!?!" Do you mean "breasts," Ed? What are you, fourteen years old?
 * Best. Parthian Shot.  Ever. Screenshot, just in case, you know, it get memory holed. UPDATE: Page 63 in the "I've been Pwned Playbook," Pretend you're not hurt and move on; see also "Redefining Douchery," with "Mr." Andrew Schlafly, "J.D." EVEN MORE DrCB, I think you may have started something Maybe  shoulda blocked the good doctor? (Learn Together did it for him... and only then replies to an old discussion to claim victory by default)THE END: Good old Andy, reeling from the vicious beating dealt to him, removes the entire section, thus the great circle of life is complete my son.
 * Confirmed: Ed is a parodist.
 * Ed's got a bad day. A really bad day. UPDATE: Perfection only, please. Update 2: Tom Moore gives some useful advice which Ed immediately deletes, then blocks him.
 * Pointing out inaccuracies on the main page can get easily you into a lot of trouble. Loads. Then again, anything can get you into a lot of trouble on CP. (To be accurate, the 1-week block was likely for pointing out the truth elsewhere. Yes, one unapproved edit means you get a 1-week block on CP.)
 * To the gentleman at the other website. If you're going to put this on your breaking news page, then please note: Bill Gates has retired as CEO now; Steve Ballmer is your man, though I have no idea if he is an atheist or not.
 * Crocoite takes a tiny step out of HypocrisyLandTM and has his username changed to "DeanS". Just because it's so damn catchy. Update: Maybe his trip out of HypocrisyLandTM isn't that far. UPDATE:We just happen to know your real name isn't Zoe Brain!
 * What the fuck is this shit?
 * What's more hilarious in this exchange? That Conservative says about Google searches that his "IP address shouldn't be a problem" (educated translation guess: "I use proxies all the time anyway since I need to get around IP bans on forums I trolled on before") or that PJR points out how absolutely pointless Conservative's Google bragging is because everybody's mileage will vary? Deceit among the high seas! He deletes his talk page, burning all evidence, just for us. Update Simple lulz strike back. Update 2: And so do screencaps.
 * Get your filthy hands off MY article! More laughs from the site that doesn't allow article ownership.  Bonus lulz Copyright?  What's that? Update: Protection War!
 * Stand by.....no, hang on.......No, Stand by... for more amazing developments!.  I will send you a very important private email!   I am marshalling troops deep into the Western Front, and Operation Illinois is ready to commence!  Also, a note - for the dragon to "return," didn't he have to "come" in the first place? (backup image here and here)
 * HelpJazz Kektklik can haz night edit rights! I guess his months  weeks  days hours of requests and hard work have finally paid off! Addendum: Oh for FUCK'S SAKE. Well, that guy is in Andy's class - it's a minor miracle that he only got edit rights and not sysop status for his great efforts in the highly important "The Aquabats" article.
 * Uhhh...you sure you want an answer to that last question, Ed? Seriously, do you?
 * Andy wallows in delusions of adequacy after NFlanders fails to find any Conservative sites recommending Conservapedia. Karajerk thanks NFlanders for his efforts.
 * Introducing Andy's most recent rant, "Liberal Gullibility" - and as usual, you can't argue against it or its examples without being cited and mocked as living proof for it. Update: the conservative counterpart is created, but dies fairly quickly.
 * Conservative attempts to discuss his latest secret message rationally. FAIL. EPIC FAIL. COMBO FAIL. Update: Wait... you mean if something's incorrect on a Wiki, you can fix it? Inconceivable!
 * A user asks for a response and you link to a week old response. Why don't you just tell him to go Copulate himself? UPDATE: Learn Together's act moves into the next stage as he tries very hard to emulate Andy's sneering.
 * Psst, Ed, your racism is showing|
 * Ed Poor shares a brawny vision of the world with Tom of Finland.
 * So editors contributors can't revert without discussion (but sysops can on a whim), and unmarked ideas are OK if conservative... but not if they're liberal! Wow, thanks for clarifying that, Eddie! This was over one single revert that Ed calls "edit warring", in which his edit removed imaginary liberal bias and put forth placement bias instead (it must be conservative bias to him though).Update: Lalalalala, I can't hear you, by the way, did you need that irony meter?
 * Ed proves once again that liberal bias is everywhere, sometimes it's just invisible to those without the omnipotence of sysops.
 * Criticism? What criticism? Update: That was just the warm-up, it seems!
 * One has to hope that the irony is not lost on the poster.|
 * O RLY? The proverbial nail in the coffin.
 * That's right Ed, your wikilinks are silly
 * Parodist alarms are sounding for me, as Deborah tells us about her former fascination with masturbation! Update: definitely a parodist.  Animal rights?
 * Ed Poor asks a VERY uncomfortable question... Update: Lively discussion! Who invented the term first and will thus get credit for insulting Obama the most? Update 2: It's apparently settled, and Andy openly acknowledges that he simply made up the term.
 * Basket-weaving, terrorism, hot man-on-man action. it's all the same to Ed Poor.
 * Roger resurfaces to complain about him being blocked for conflict of interest on wikipedia and his refusal to follow rules.
 * Philip, we ask the same thing about your blog every day.
 * When uploading an image of Fidel Castro, what is more important than saying where you got it from and what license it falls under? Pointing out Google Cuba rankings for the Atheism article, of course! Andy then deletes it on the basis of "trimming" later.
 * Schlafly Speak: "based on" = "shamelessly stolen from", and "not yet consented" = "got caught".
 * We've worked hard to improve our reputation says Learn Together. You have? While we weren't watching, obviously!
 * Yet another Conservative Value: If you see wrongdoing, mind your own damn business!
 * Wait wait... Andy is telling someone that a made up expression (which isn't really made up) is incoherent|
 * Movie Talk, Conservapedia style: Tell up what you think... unless you didn't like it, then Shut the HELL up GET ONE FREE If you haven't seen the movie, your comment will be deleted, unless you're above the rules|
 * Conservapedia goes above and beyond the call of duty by blocking a user for daring to prove his/her point on the hypocrisy of the Expelled article.
 * Welcome to Phyllis' Book Club.
 * Maybe it's petty to pick on a native Spanish speaker, but WTF?
 * Evidence of Nessie had been faked? That's okay, since other people claimed to have seen it, too! And two months later, Ed Poor joins in and tries to get Nessie included on the Dinosaur article again.
 * The true irony in letting this edit stand is that on the Fox Noise page, they go out of their way to paint the channel as centrist including shouting down dissent on the talk page. Update: Reverted.
 * I wonder what the Anti-Defamation League would think of Andy's trivializing the actual causes for the Holocaust.
 * And again, the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing.
 * I think I need a scorecard for this stuff. Let's see, The word of Michael Behe, the most influential figure behind ID cannot be used to characterize ID, but an out of context quote by Darwin is plenty to indict the whole of evolutionary science.
 * So material on CP is distrubuted under GFDL now, Joaquín? I guess somebody forgot to tell Andy.
 * Because we haven't had a classic "Ed Poor makes my brain hurt" moment in a while: "Arguments about evolution" - Darwinism, the Holocaust, and how it's all so terribly unfair to ID and Creationism. PS: Ed, if you can't tell the difference, it may be time to stop editing.
 * CP's front page says, "L.A. Times: 'Expelled could exceed box-office forecasts!'" But strangely, if one bothers to read the article past that misleading title, it actually says that ""Expelled," with production and marketing budgets in the single-digit millions, is expected to make no dent at the box-office despite the widest documentary release ever."   Swell!
 * New user ErskineChilders asks if CP should be able to handle criticism and gets a very direct answer.
 * Commented out but here:Tolerance isn't welcome on Conservapedia.
 * So close, Ed. Now think for a minute just why nobody wants to help.
 * After making some talk edits, DaBoss receives his first 90/10 warning. His one contrib after that warning was to fix minor errors in one of his older reply, but that was too much already.
 * Andy asks a user to identify the copyright violations on his talk page two hours after Kangaroo blocked them. Kind of hard to explain what the violation is now. Maybe a registered letter from a lawyer to the DMCA agent would be a better course of action (kind of hard to block those).
 * If anybody asks you why you have so little respect for "Creation Science", tell them about how Tiktaalik is "actually an antediluvian laboratory chimera" and watch the fireworks. Then again, maybe TerryH had just been asleep at the wheel.
 * Here we go, time for Professor Style!.
 * An unappealing image of Ed Poor forms in my head. Update: Kettleofish questions his source.
 * Uh oh... When someone recommends a new "educational organization" and Ed Poor agrees and compliments their science, I get a sinking feeling that I may have to facepalm soon.......... Yep, I was right! Update OBJECTION!! MORE UPDATE: and nothing classes up a deranged post like a little fairy tale
 * Karajerk makes an uncited, vague reference in regards to something that happened 27 years ago. This is not going to sit well with smart people at all.
 * According to CP, atheism is a religion, but Andy (and thus CP) claims not to "discriminate based on religion" - yeah, right!
 * Bad reviews for Expelled:No Intelligence Allowed?  No problem!   We'll just 'improve' the article and do the totalitarian state thing. UPDATE: A publication must have a higher circulation than Conservapedia has page views to be approved by Andy.   FINAL UPDATE: Actually, let's just remove any links to the most popular movie sites on the intarweb.   Best not to think of it as a movie then.
 * Tell us about it.
 * Ed confirms the two-tier rule structure. Shocker.
 * "You keep saying that "evolution is science"—and by "evolution" I mean here [... "] - Lovely redefinition that is quickly followed by a lengthy rant about sedimentary rock, Dark Matter, and planet Vulcan.
 * Don't call people 'Smart Aleck' - call a spade a spade and just call them a Prick instead!
 * Reasonable discourse? We'll have none of that, thank you very much and Godspeed! PRE-UPDATE: Yeah..both of them.
 * Thousands of evolutionists will see Expelled on Day 1, and then they will all join CP to wandalize the article. Sure thing, Ed. Sure thing.
 * Stand back! Ed's going to try science!  Oooooh.  Mixed results.
 * I think Ed Poor has snapped, blocking then talking to himself.
 * With practically no non-sysop left to bully, Ed Poor rips into TerryH's article, but later feels remorse.
 * Evolutionist style is here! Just think, Schlafly now knows about Liberals, Feminists and Evolutionists... How about something he's really familiar with... like Mama's Boy Style or I'm F***ing Insane Style? (Reading it closely makes me suspect that TerryH is a satirist. Possibly an unconscious one.)|
 * Next up, Old Age Pensioner Values.
 * Concise, dammit!
 * Ed broke yet another irony meter.
 * Once again, Andy is forced to lay out the Basic Rules of CP for an editor. It's so difficult to get decent editors these days. Wait, you'd like to establish clear standards? As in, a policy that sysops might actually be called out on? Well then, so be it - you're just a waste of Ed's precious time!.
 * Why is the irony meter reporting NUMBER TOO LARGE ERROR #46617 DIVISION BY ZERO? Ah of course. Karajou tells a new user not to try 'pushing your religious beliefs here'.
 * Tiger Woods: supremely talented professional golfer, or just another negro whose alleged success is the result of liberal interference?
 * Yes, the kool aid is wearing off of PJR - he's unblocked TomMoore, first blocked for, essentially, calling Ed Poor on his idiocy. Perhaps PJR has come to realize that "making Ed realize his idiocy" shouldn't be a blocking offense.
 * Kenservative sings the praise of Fox News for being "fair & balanced" and their being known for treating evangelical and fundamentalist Christians with great respect. The article is locked so it must all be true in a kind of "the truth shall set you free" kind of way. Fox News publish a review of Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, apparently a big NO NO at the wacky world of Chicaneopedia. It would seem the "fair & balanced" Fox News isn't all what it is made out to be and the trustworthy encyclopedia can't be trusted.   UPDATE:   Allowed, with qualifications, by The Boss. MORE: Of course, it's wrong to say "Fox News's Roger Friedman". It must be clarified that he's a liberal who's not really with Fox News. He just writes a bit on their website...
 * Andy's shameless parsing would make Bill Clinton blush. Just how ambiguous does he think "From 1992 until his election to the U.S. Senate in 2004, Barack Obama served as a professor in the Law School" is, anyway?
 * After his questions were erased and his intelligence was insulted, MilesM snaps.
 * One of the perks of being sysop: Being able to lock your talkpage once people start asking questions about your behavior.
 * It's official! User:C has the hots for Ricardo Montalbán (AKA:Ricardo Gonzálo Pedro Montalbán Merino), and he admits that RW users are smarter than him!
 * There's a chance of libel on the Trusworthy Encyclopedia? No problem, we just have to get a cite from a reliable source.  After all, how hard could that be? UPDATE: Not so hard when you completely ignorethe reliable part. Hi Karajou, thanks for reading
 * Hey, you women out there, Andy knows how to spell your name better than you do.
 * Tolerance is shown some intolerance over at Conservapedia. And Ed succumbs to the urge to disagree by deleting.  Update The revisions continue:
 * Ah, Niandra... So close, and yet so far.
 * Really? I don't see the connection.  Maybe they just need a few more examples.  Update: I see by this that somebody over there is reading my WIGO.  I feel ashamed honored.
 * If there are that few violent criminals, then why, exactly, do you need a largely defensive weapon of gun in the first place?
 * Sure Bodhan HenryS, let's have Kettleklik follow a non-existent guideline on a site that Andy despises. That'll work. Or is this just more sweeping things under the rug?
 * More debate from the Assfly: "look up professor Obama's campaign has nothing to do with him being a Senator..." Seeing how dumb that sounds, he just rambles on philosophically I hear Conservapedia can also cure baldness and genital warts... is that true TK?|
 * Lets take a look at Ed and his Bans for the day shall we? Hmmmm interesting You dare to state a non whitewashed opinion?GONE Who's next? You dare question me? You can just take a walk You vill do nusing vitout my OK So Gootbye God, He's Like a monkey with a mallet|
 * Ed faces resistance from an invulnerable user, a bosom-buddy of the Schlaflinator who cannot be banned. When forced to argue, defend himself, and face criticism rationally... what will Ed do!? UPDATE - Kettleklick plays with fire.
 * Schlafly's made up a new Conservapedia Term!!!! It's "Feminist Style"!  Feminists, you see, have no sense of humor.  Apparently, they don't appreciate the humor behind Andy's butt-pinches.
 * (reason is, user was banned) ...Seriously Ed, why the heck did you revert this edit? A good reason...heck, any reason, would be nice.
 * Deborah fails at reverting wandalism.
 * I can has writing plan? Also, mai conspiracy theery, let me show u it.
 * Point: Mr Andy Sir... I think it might be a little hypocritical to mock Obama while claiming that only liberals do that don't you? Counterpoint: No Point: but you're obviously mocking him Counterpoint: NO Point: But look please look Extra Point: I agree, here's why Counterpoint: NO NO NO!!!! (Reader's digest: "Obama falsely claimed that he was a constitutional law professor", no matter what the University of Chicago News Office says!) More: We won't even refer to him as "Senator" if we judge his acts non-senatorial!  Again: Liberal Mockery is okay as long as Andy does it "carefully."
 * Given how much CP sysops rely on doing everything behind closed doors via mails and IMs, it's slightly ironic to see Andy insisting on a public interview.
 * Andy won't let our poor irony meter recover: Conservapedia, the site that demonizes liberals in every way you can imagine (and then some) presents... "Demonizing conservatives"!
 * "Please support your claim better here, with quotations" - Well, Andy, maybe you should have actually looked at the source supplied in the stuff you reverted...
 * Your work isn't ready yet? Well, screw you, hippie!  This isn't about what you want!
 * Looks like somebody caught JM with his hands in the cookie jar, and Assfly actually does something about it. (The photo's been reverted to its unadorned state on the original site.)
 * Exactly who here is frivolous?
 * If you're going to bash baseball, at least get your geography straight. Toronto isn't in the US Ahem! But it is (North) American. So there!
 * Something tells me Conservative will get slapped for his "Gentlemen at another site" messages: After Bohdan's attempt at damage control spectacularly backfired, Bohdan hastily wipes out the section, only to be confronted by a very disillusioned user.
 * A paragraph scolding a magazine for getting a name wrong... got the name of the magazine wrong.
 * Apparently, Ed Poor is losing some support at home.
 * Aww, isn't Kowardjou cute when he stamps his little feet?
 * WOW. "The atrocities of slavery in America have been widely exaggerated."
 * John 7:53-8:11 is not a True Scotsman.
 * Okay, who's Yousoundperfect?
 * If your two first contribs are on talk pages, you will be perma-banned before having the chance to make mainspace edits. Update: 1 out of 8 edits are in the mainspace? Perma-ban!
 * If you don't make 50 mistakes a day, you were probably blocked after the first one by a d*** in a sysop suit
 * Deborah, one of the most prolific editors of late, is blocked for not doing what she's told (naughty girl!).
 * "Avoid like the plague anything which simply makes some ideological point." My irony meter just burst, thanks to that latest revelation from Lyin' Ed.
 * A battle of wits with an unarmed sysop.
 * And finally, they came for the userboxes, repeatedly. And there was no-one left to speak up for me.  (It's OK to make fun of Bill Clinton, but not Ronald Reagan.  Love that double-standard.)
 * I'll take "Wait, what?" for 400, Alex: "it's not "cross-dressing" in the homosexual sense - it's just a disguise"
 * Who cares about Shakespeare, anyway? If nothing links to it, it's easier to delete it than to actually create something that links to it! Erratum: Apparently, it was just either a redirect or a redundant article. The real deal is this concise article.
 * Welshman unleashes his Parthian Shot. Note that PJR may be on the outs with Schlafly and all the other Elite Cabal of Ignorance at CP, but at least he still gets some love from the rational crowd.UPDATE: A shout-out to HelpJazz, who acknowledges the futility of his quest. UPDATE: AusingP gets blocked for personal remarks by pointing out Ed's personal remarks. UPDATE #3: Same goes for TomMoore and Welshman - three editors contributors banned (FOREVER) for something that was started by Ed Poor.  YET ANOTHER UPDATE:  Ed gets proactive, tries to cut down on future complaints.
 * Gods below, what a screaming drama queen Joaquín is. Have they installed that fainting couch yet?  But then, look at his mentor.
 * Creationism is perfectly falsifiable! It can be falsified by proving that some part of Jesus' life didn't happen the way the Bible says or by proving that extraterrestrial life exists! (Note: Check the history - it's not parody.) So, you can falsify it if you first prove to be false an unfalsifiable assertion of faith.  Folks, you have to get through the hard outer shell of bullshit to get to the juicy center.
 * If it wasn't Karajou posting this on the mainpage, I would have thought it's parody: Disrupting class by taking a cell phone call is perfectly okay, according to CP. I'm sure Andy's homeschool kids are allowed to take calls as much as they like! Update: Ah, so it's a distraction, but only giving a warning should have been fine... especially since "it's the American soldier who ensures that those teachers have a job."
 * Andy will de-liberalize any balanced entry in under 30 minutes, or the next one's free! Example: 21:08 - Praise for a balanced article. 21:35 - Liberal bias removed.
 * Somebody who went to primary/grammar school, vocational school and took on an apprenticeship still counts as homeschooled as long as he is self-taught in something like engineering. That's what you get for cherry-picking your blogs super-reliable sources! (For more info, see our closer analysis here.)
 * After Karajou posted a news item about a teenager being beaten up in a public school, somebody points out that it didn't happen at school, but Kara defends his version. Apparently, he then actually read the article and corrected the news item anyway. The resulting discussion section is a sight to behold: Kara does his 180° turn without even blinking.
 * NEW SYSOP ALERT!!!! Another day, another slap in the face for Helpjazz.
 * Thou shalt not mention the FBI.Or else.
 * Andy simply first points his way around his blog.  And he'll simply second point you if you challenge his grammar, beotch.
 * (Commented out)A first-year PhD student has better credentials than most evolutionists.
 * Simple rules? I thought only Liberals were capable of deceit.
 * RationalWiki brings you up-to-the-minute updates in the title match, TK v. Decency. On the side of TK, we have T-eamK-iller, Joaquin "oblivious" Martinez, Ed "dontbeadick" Poor, and Geo "pavingwithgoodintentions" Plrd.  On the side of Decency, we have Fox, TerryH (cowardly hiding in a corner), Andy Schlafly (also hiding), and Philip "raptorridinjesus!" Rayment!  The parties are dancing back and forth and... PJR throws the first punch!  Which TK ducks!  Stay tuned for more Ides of April updates!
 * I can't decide whether this move should be filed under "Truth in advertising" or "Adding insult to injury".
 * Mmmmm That's a classy graphic they've stuck on the main page. 3D rotating logos always look good, right?
 * The irony meter has just reached all new levels. Come on PJR, any other editor would have gotten an infinite ban, not a measly 6 hours TK Uses the word 'Shame' 9 times in one rant and gets a ban of 40 minutes each!
 * Wow. StevenM is an idiot.
 * Joaquin hangs it up. So will he be banned and stripped of sysopship, like has been done to others in the past when they've taken sabbatical?  Or, will Andy get to the bottom of this?  Bonus speculation Could this be a setup to get back at PJR for messing with his Mind/body cut/paste jamboree article?  Update #2: TK takes his ball, too, blaming... PJR for driving Joaquin away.  But does anyone here actually think TK's leaving?    Update #3: If TK didn't fan the flames of paranoia a bit, well then it just wouldn't be CP, would it? Update #4: Nothing to see here! Move along! (Especially nice how this purge basically comes just a few hours after PJR defended himself - wanna bet that Andy didn't and now will never read it?)
 * According to Andy, getting a name wrong shows that you're clueless about the subject. I guess that means that Andy is clueless about the International Court of Justice for example...
 * Wait wait... there's a word for this... what is it? Oh yeah PWNED Take that TK|
 * Don't mock Andy's mommy, or he'll getcha! Mock your mommy, Andy?  "Either back up your alleged quotations with citations or they will be removed", Andy?  How's this:  A Google search for the quoted string "in-home sales parties for abortions" yields 110 hits.  Every one of them appears to be from your mother.  Even allowing that some of them were copied from others, that's a lot of evidence. UPDATE: The citations have been added, what will Andy do now?  UPDATE: What castle?  Castle?? (and what justification)? UPDATED UPDATE: The gauntlet is thrown. Update^3: "Books are only an accepted source when they got many Amazon reviews, so STFU!"
 * Sociology has surprisingly little to do with sociology. Seems more like a life science to Ed.  Also, Ed's grasp of the Ten Commandments seems rather tenuous - "Thou shalt not do no murder," huh?  See why we say intelligent design makes you stupid?
 * Another gem from Ed Poor: being gay is like being a homicidal spider, which is incidentally kind of the same as getting an abortion. Also, freedom is slavery, and ignorance is strength.  Update: Let's insult banned and retired users!
 * Andy S notes that claim(ing) expertise beyond one's area of expertise is a liberal trick. Nothing like a lawyer claiming medical knowledge? eh Andy?
 * First, Ed blocks a user for complaining at the Administrative Abuse board, which he considers to be an insult to him (but calling people "a dick" is not an insult, note). Wow.  Then, he reverts and blocks a user for pointing out that he was wrong, but now PJR is asking the same questions. How will Ed squirm out of this one? And Tiberius tells it like it is But Kajagoogo reverts! And Blocks!!!
 * Seriously, why does CP even keep AFDs around when sysops will just make arbitrary decisions anyway?
 * You can just see TK waving his banhammer. Pity he aint got it back! (yet) Update - TK rejects your reality and substitutes his own!
 * The way Andy thinks:'We don't categorize people by race.' Hmm, I better change things so that's actually true.
 * If Andy's goalposts are on wheels, then Ed's are strapped to a SPACE SHUTTLE: "What part does evolution play in modern biology? - Oh, but allow me to redefine the term "evolution" first!"
 * Man, the quality of D-Days around here have been really going to pot lately. Big event that will shake atheism to its foundations...not so much. By the way, thanks for the inside info Ken - I for one can hardly contain my anticipation.  I'm expecting a billboard in Times Square.
 * Actually Bohdan HenryS, that's exactly how you make something better. Discussion and collaboration.
 * Ed Poor retroactively justifies his habit of ordering people to write what he wants them to write by creating the Writing Assignment Policy
 * After reading Andy's brainwashing project, Kektlktliltk is not amused.
 * Criticize anything connected to liberals? Anything goes, from biased and non-notable blogs to no source at all. Criticize something like the PATRIOT Act? Better be really REALLY certain that your edits are extremely precise and that they have very reliable sources. Addition: Ed is like Pringles - Once he pops, he just can't stop.
 * Parole's over. I think Helpjazz can safely interpret this as a "fuck you"...And, oh, yeah eat shit too. How long until the dark times return?
 * Andy goes mad mad mad with WikiPower! He wants to revert the Bible to rid it of liberal bias.  Bonus Stupidity:  Andy discovers that some parts of the Bible may have been written after the death of direct eyewitnesses.
 * How do they manage to continuously pick the most ironic Historical Quotes?
 * A surreal discussion even by CP standards. Andy apparently sings without ever closing his mouth, and video proof means nothing. Also: Andy doesn't like it when people point out how silly he sounds.
 * Aschlafly inserts the strangest rant ever, claiming that Obama tries to use the Theory of relativity to redefine the human body, and thus promote abortion.
 * It was hard to imagine an article longer than two paragraphs that's less encyclopedic than Ed's stubs, but he somehow did it.
 * It's a banner day for Lyin' Ed. First, we're  roleplaying Dungeons and Dragons: Intellectual Dishonesty edition.  Then, moments after blocking a user for sparking debate, Ed comments wistfully on the intellectual pleasures of... debate.  Update: Ed blocks a user (who was well over 90/10) for debating, and reminds us of the real reason for rules like that - showing liberals the door.  It's like watching the text of the 90/10 rule collapse into its real rationale, in public!
 * In the Gospel According to Andy, some parts of the Bible are actually Liberal hoaxes. PJR is not happy with this assertion.  This could get ugly(er). Even Conservatives find this hard to swallow.
 * Ed puts an end to the debate about whether or not the UCLA entry was copied from Wikipedia, and reverts all the recent work to rewrite the article back to the copied version.  Much better! Update: About time - even though it's interesting to note that he just says "plagiarism accusations" and that this issue has no negative consequences for TK.
 * Liberals exaggerate praise.
 * Because you can never have enough pages about ID, creationism, etc., you must have intelligent design controversy. Of course, "opponents of intelligent design go right for the throat, like a bulldog or rottweiler."
 * You guys remember the (formerly featured) Mind/body article that was copy-pasted into existence by Joaquín Martínez? Well, at least PJR is Not Amused by JM's behavior. Update: Seriously, I could watch this all day. Check out JM's interesting ideas of when it's okay to copy-paste (and thus to break the CP Commandments): When the idea is old, when it's just a few sentences, when it's lightly rephrased...
 * Technically, this is an update to the UCLA entry, but it's WTF enough to deserve a spot at the top: Geo deletes the UCLA AFD (where people showed that TK copy-pasted from Wikipedia) because: "Voting has no place here" - that's a great way to organize the AFD process!
 * Statistics/Facts become meaningless when they don't help your case.
 * Switching around photos so the actual photo of Obama is at the bottom while the silly "Obama dares not to lift his hand during the National Anthem" one gets transported to the top is not what I would call "remove placement bias"
 * HelpJazz almost had it this time, but the carrot on the stick got away again.
 * Joaquín joins the "we must protect TK club" by blocking for "bullying" by pointing out even more amazing coincidences in the UCLA article.
 * Hey Joaquín, nice pic but did you know that Viator.com needs permission?
 * I picture TK sitting up begging for a treat after pointing this out. Maybe someone should smack him in the nose with a rolled up newspaper instead.
 * The Stupid Police are out in force today, as TK gets called out on two different articles, by two different people, about his failure to understand the term ad hominem.
 * Somebody suggests to stop the "not a professor" nonsense and focus on arguing against Dawkins' criticism of religion. He is met with this reply that, among other things, has accusations of censorship, states that (rightly) accusations of ad-hominem attacks are a liberal tool, has a comment that blows in the face of the war in Iraq and a statement that the trusworthy encyclopedia is only opinion when it comes to getting sued for libel.
 * I totally agree with you, Bohdan.
 * A higher authority is needed to decide the fate of the "copied from Wikipedia" UCLA page. Maybe the CPanel can return?
 * "The momentum is building..." Because Yahoo, Lycos, and AltaVista place CP's atheism article in high rank... And "Exciting new developments expected in about a week"... though I'm expecting them since 2006.


 * Oxford's liberal teaching methods lead people to prostitution, says Andy. I mean, what sane person would even think of sending their child to Oxford? UPDATE: Oh, snap.
 * Ed reminds me of some Tech Support callcenter workers: Jazz asks a question about a very specific problem and gets a reply that falls even below the "lol i duno" level we're used to (Image available to show the resulting exchange)
 * Yet another great encyclopedic article, moved into the mainspace by . Update: Properly moved by PJR.
 * Somebody brings up the Iraq War on Talk:Deceit. Andy's reply: "Well... yeah... but the Democrats also did bad things, so let's not include it plz kthxbai."
 * How do you keep a straight face and ignore the hypocrisy while posting these two news items in the same place?
 * Was this Conservative's "Ides of March April Ghost of Atheism Google Rankings Yet to Come" event?  A third-rate website containing the musings of an old man, links to Conservapedia, along with dozens hundreds of other sites??  Can you say linkfarm? MOOOOooooo, (I knew you could). Update: Another site less notable than even CP links to the articles and is praised as a major success for it. Here's a full comparison - see if you can spot the two other sites!
 * ED blocks a user, giving the reason as "Insult." Nothing new there, but the message left on the talk page tells a different story.  After some digging, we find the true story: The Doctor left a message summing up TK.  Ed takes offense and calls upon himself to not only delete the post from another users "castle" but to warn the user about personal attacks (the irony is just delicious) So is Ed's head inserted directly into TK's ass permanently? Or does he take it out on the weekends?
 * Another periodic dusting off for the Dawkins talk page. In a curious twist Aschlafly now appears to consider Dawkins' CV the ultimate authority on whether he really does hold a professorship. Meanwhile Ed makes a laudible attempt to resolve the matter once and for all by making a simple request for signed affidavits from every member of the University's Distinctions Committee because the Freedom of Information replies don't mean anything and have zero weight as evidence. And then he gives Mike a three month block just to make sure there won't be any replies.
 * Update to an archived WIGO (TK's copy-pasting of a University article): A user gets a perma-ban for pointing out the violation. Update: Desensitization in action - banning a fellow editor doesn't prevent others from discussing the deletion anyway.
 * PJR takes care of a reported copyright violation! Congrats, just before the 8-month mark!
 * After this discussion, Ed lays down the law: "Bad [user who is not TK ! Bad!"] - Nice to see that Ed is as unbiased as ever when it comes to TK's clashes.
 * Ed's Sunday morning project: Pithy quotes from the good reverend.
 * The Assfly claims to report wandals to the 'authorities' but sure as hell doesn't like it if you mention the FBI.
 * It takes a big man to admit that he's wrong. Kudos to Karajou.
 * Fair use, Joaquin? Can I see your permission slip?
 * Normally I'm against WIGO'ing misspellings, but Karajou - the man who brought you "insultive" - is just the king of these. I know it's "mearly" a little block, but still...
 * Homeschooling WTF: "Prominent people who were educated at home" puts Eragon-author Paolini in the same category as Lincoln and JOHN THE APOSTLE
 * Andy's never-ending battle against liberal bias is a tough job--one never knows where it'll pop up, or from whom...
 * Really, Kektklik: You couldn't find ANYTHING ELSE wrong with this article while you were editing it? Warmer, warmer HOT HOT HOT! UPDATE Finally!
 * PJR finally notices (section "revert") one of the fundamental problems of CP: When most active users are sysops, and most of them warn/ban you for reverting their edits... how do you know whose wrong edits you may revert? And I got a better one: How can the resulting articles be considered trustworthy?
 * throws down the gauntlet.
 * Andy now has a test to see whether editors think for themselves. We'll call this a pass, I think. Update Here's your reward!
 * Come now, Bohdan, you're surely not really that naive, are you?
 * Andy blocks a vandal for calling Christianity "gay," and says he'll report the vandal's IP address. Wait, Andy, I thought we were against making hate speech criminal?  Oh, right, only when it suits you.  Sorry.  I forgot. Update The comedy just writes itself.
 * What the hell is This Andy...Are you saying that the abortion industry blocked the bill themselves? or did the evil liberals bow to the whims? And while we're at it... why did it take you three separate posts to get it right? also note that the great educator misspelled improving |
 * A strange one: Andy includes in Professor Values a report about a Korean miscreant who was, according to the actions that put her in the list, NOT a professor.
 * Those who can, do. Those who can't... become sysops on CP. Here's a recent gem by Joaquín Martínez. The entire text of the article: "Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio Italian painter. [image] IN PROCESS"
 * Professor Mac adds a real professor value, a link to the last lecture by Randy Pausch of Carnegie-Mellon. Andy deletes it, and Mac reposts it, which will no doubt, result in his being banned. Too bad. If the CP'ers listened to Pausch, they might learn something about faith, life and dreams. Update: Infinite Ban for being a "vandal".
 * The irony hurts me, Ed Update You know you're sad when you get pwnd by PJR!
 * Mindless volunteers are the best.
 * Lyin' Ed knows what a scientific reference is. Apparently, it looks like an urban legend website. And while we're at it, Ed why don't you do us a favour and not drink for a while, see how long you can go without having your recommended 1.8L per day. Trustworthy information my ass
 * How long will it take someone to realise that the title of Israel Tourism should be Israeli Tourism or Tourism in Israel?
 * Oooooooh, I can't wait to solve the mystery, Andy!
 * As usual, Conservapedia Commandment #1 does not apply to TK. On second thought, maybe it's better this way: the non-copied entries are dreadfully concise.
 * "'Artist' means a painter" - No, it doesn't, Ed. No, it doesn't.
 * A 1-day block for "time-wasting remarks" - Good thing that the "simple" Conservapedia Commandments ("the only rule page on Conservapedia") prevent "the arbitrary and biased enforcement that is rampant on Wikipedia"!
 * A good thing I'm banned: This edit summary screams for "cp:Army values" ;)
 * Andy sets RationalWiki an essay contest in Writing Homework Eight! Conservapedia began in our class in November 2006. What can you say about its history and future? Terms and conditions apply. All essays must be at least 1100 words, well-structured and absolutely fucking flawless. Management reserves the right to delete any entry containing insight, analysis, lulz or any other factual content contrary to the site's fragile sense of utility and importance. Offending editors will be reported to the FBI. Please submit your entries to wherever you think funniest on Conservapedia. Godspeed! UPDATE: For added Lulz, please note that the man requesting a flawless essay needed six tries to post correctly
 * Ed Poor, well-known sceptical scientist and Woo Fighter.
 * Someone with sense tries to delete a "hypocritical generalisation" from the Liberal article; despite agreement by some, has his own "hypocrisy" exposed - to the deletor's disbelief.
 * I almost missed what you did there... Andy silently omits the article count on the main page. Why? Maybe because it's just a thousand articles away from the mark he set for a new sysop promotion...
 * Seriously, Ed, how hard is it to document a template that consists only of "..." and a category?
 * Dear me Ed, reverting vandalism and telling a user to stop now counts as arrogance
 * Poor Jazz, Andy still beats around the bush by delaying nighttime editing for at least three days. Face it Jazz, if Andy really wanted to give you edit rights he would do it in 3 seconds
 * Ed loves the dirty, dirty, dirty sex.
 * World Treasures - Italy: Colosseum, Egypt:The Sphinx and Khafra Pyramid, France: The Eiffel Tower, United Kingdom: Miranda Waterhouse? WTF!
 * Too bad they caught this one. Given Ed's new definition of swearing, "dick" should definitely be a Conservapedia term.
 * Assfly's response when called on his stupid rhetoric? Claim he's right and stick his head in the sand. Why hasn't this man been disbarred?|
 * "Spurious", huh? I don't think you know what that word means.
 * Apparently, an article that only contains links and effectively no other text becomes encyclopedic because the "links contain encyclopedic content and are very educational."
 * Just when you thought Ken Conservative couldn't get tackier, in his latest "Ides of March April" update, he tops himself. Really, Ken?  A fat joke?  Wow.
 * Assfly fully supports Eddy's dirty mouth. You're going to hell Andy... mark my words.
 * Public school students plotting against a teacher. And homeschoolerz use Conservapedia. The world is ending.
 * More on Ed and his F-Bomb...this rant is just weird, as he makes a logical leap from condemning his foul mouth to condoning North Vietnamese war crimes and Arab slavery. I thought the parodists were supposed to out themselves on April first...Update: "Don't be a dick" is no longer an insult, it's legitimate CP rhetoric!  Update #2: smackdown.
 * Foul mouthed Ed gets a retort in the only language he currently understands. Will he demonstrate his true values and block a user with thousands of edits..? UPDATE How predictable! Ed truly is a f*****g hypocrite LULZY UPDATE Ed goes on to blather out more height-of-hypocrisy verbal diaorrhoea on Fox's talk page. The man has no shame. WE ALL <3 FOX PJR speaks up and challenges Ed's double standards...EPIC UPDATE Ed Poor: "Don't upset sensitive young Terrence" PJR: "Fuck him and fuck you"
 * Lyin' Ed makes it official! Goodbye, family friendly; hello sysop privilege!
 * 90/10 my ass!
 * O RLY? You'll forgive me if I'm a little more leery of TK's word than Ed is.
 * Just how many pro gay edits is too many?
 * This one was so predictable, I started writing the WIGO entry before the actual event happened: See EdBot increasing his pace. See EdBot getting mauled by GuardDog. :D
 * Bohdan asks if Ed can make a bot that creates stub articles. Apparently, CP needs more high-quality stubs like "S-type asteroids", Mimas, Umbriel or Nereid to boost their article count...
 * Lyra proves that you don't just have to be thick as shite to be a Conservapedian, you also must be more gullible than a Lemming and have no sense of humour.
 * Just an April Fool's prank, but hey, coolest Masterpiece ever! No, seriously, I love "Game of Life" and those gliders! For extra Lulz, check out the reactions of CP's art critics BethanyS and Joaquín Martínez
 * TK kicks off a debate by... copying some sort of essay by Newt Gingrich? Even Ed is shaking his head - but do not fear, a Very Important Mail is on its way!
 * It's hard to be more concise than this...
 * Superdelegates are another dysfunctional liberal fix! Except the Republican party has the exact same thing called unpledged delegates.  Schlafly responds 'No they don't.'
 * April Fool's! It's more fun to laugh at, than laugh with.
 * Even sysop support doesn't make you invincible when you forget your limits. Andybody wanna guess how loud Fox's "HELL YEAH!" was while writing this edit summary?
 * Meet Gay man plague. Two of CP's finest brains have collaborated to produce this: one obvious typo and a missing reference, all in less than one line. Oh, and the reference they forgot to include actually says the opposite of what CP claims. Update: After a weird clash between TK and the editor who pointed out the last bit, Ed steps forward and admits he got it wrong. Nice! Doubleplus Update Denied, TK turns his hurt at...Ed!?
 * What do you get when you violate the 90/10 50/50(!?!?!) rule, submit no writing plan to Ed and get reverted twice by Geo (enforcing TK's will)? Why, you get a 1-month block! :D
 * I'll admit, this is blatantly sexist on my part, but: Hey Deborah, from a woman I expect better than this.