Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/May 2010

You read it here first, folks! The EU is going to fall apart because they don't believe in God. Andy's creation of insightful new terms continues apace! Last week it was Censorability, now it's Open source conservative! Will they license their content with the GDFL? Will they get Eric S. Raymond on board? In Rob Smith's alternate universe: "Commander in Chief to skip honoring veterans and the nations (sic) war dead by not attending ceremonies at the Arlington National Cemetery." In our own corner of the multi-verse (AKA, the article Rob cites) : "Obama will appear at the Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery outside Chicago, the White House said."

"Barack Obama (is) hoping to clean up the Gulf of Mexico oil spill by throwing a lit cigarette on it and setting it afire." The More You Know! Now out in paperback. [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User:Conservative/The_Does_X_have_Machismo%3F_Series&oldid=783282 The Does X have Machismo? Series]. Available at all good stockists. Now. Olé! Olé! Olé!

🇰🇪 starts out work on his Anti-socialism project. Answering the big questions in life, such as 'Do Socialists have Machismo?' Actor Gary Coleman dies of 'Hollywood Values', claims Andy. "Is that really the case?", asks an editor. "It says so at various unspecified websites on the internet, so obviously it's undeniable.  I'm just guessing, but that's how I read it anyway", says Andy. Rather than search for rational, albeit complicated, answers that explain the origin of the species, become a Christian - it's easier (AND YOU GET GIFTS)

While touring the Gulf oil spill area, Obama was photographed inspecting the beach. He obviously wasn't dressed to clean up the area. Therefore he is only pretending to care.

An ophthalmologist says Richard Dawkins does not correctly understand how the eye works, therefore God created everything. Ken: "I am strongly considering doing an open letter to Richard Dawkins at Conservapedia... ...I would have to charge him to debate me as I would do for all other peddlers of nonsense. I think I might cut him a break and only charge him $50 an hour... ...Perhaps, if he agrees to the debate, the hispanic ladies might finally believe he has machismo..." 'Nuff said.

After Ken substantially improves the "Socialism" article, it's finally eligible for Article of the Month. First things first though... RobS with a typical reading comprehension fail, then on to blatant conservative deceit. Last week, a year ago, meh. Whatever.

Andy has a brilliant new concept, "first discovered here (at Conservapedia)", and the stupidity of which we are proud to say was first discovered here at RationalWiki&mdash;censorability. Most exciting of all, it can be quantified! Just like those pillars of erudition Quantifying Mental Strength and Quantifying Openmindedness. A report covering 2000-2008 shows some naughty goings on at the Obama Mineral Management Service. 🇰🇪 launches a stinging attack: "Rationalwiki lacks machismo!!" Later... "Hahaha I showed them! They didn't even mention homosexuality...!" ( Which someone with real machismo would certainly do.... )

<votecp poll=wigo3443 closed="yes">Richard Dawkins officially becomes a clown. <votecp poll=wigo3442 closed="yes">Sarah Palin did interviews? What interviews! <votecp poll=wigo3441 closed="yes">Rob Smith removes ambiguity by ....creating more ambiguity

<votecp poll=wigo3440 closed="yes">Despite his radical islamic beliefs, Osama Bin Laden is in fact an atheist. <votecp poll=wigo3439 closed="yes">So what if he was the principal author of the Declaration of Independence...what has he done for us lately!? <votecp poll=wigo3438 closed="yes">Conservapedia has long been advertised by Andy as a learning resource, but think-tank? Andy loves it and is ready to solve the country's problems! The WayBack Machine is up and running: User: 188 suggested this three years ago! Oh what a way you've come! <votecp poll=wigo3437 closed="yes">Well-known internet user and intellectual heavyweight 🇰🇪 applies his famous brain to one of the most important questions of our time - "Does Richard Dawkins have machismo?" Update Someone points out Ken's complete crap to Andy. Ken responds, explaining that any gentleman failing to grasp the nuance and humor of his essay must surely not be true conservative! Meds kick-in, and Ken's response is subsequently oversighted. Hooray! Still 0 in (diagnosed) mental health problems.

<votecp poll=wigo3436 closed="yes">What is this Evolution nonsense? It's completely bloody useless!

<votecp poll=wigo3435 closed="yes">More Worst College Majors fun: go away and shut up! Is Johnfranklin a Conservative parodying a reasonable person? Ken hears him and a Religion degree is now useful if from a conservative college. Andy: "This blog is not about sources dummy, it's about our random opinions". More: Please stop pointing out my stupidity. <votecp poll=wigo3434 closed="yes">Conservatives still want to water down the Bill of Rights: Senate candidate Rand Paul (Tea Party-KY) says that in the interest of "freedom of speech" Americans should have tolerated segregation, and Andy thinks the predictable uproar is all a big liberal smear over a "hypothetical question" that the Paulspawn got wrong, so wrong. <votecp poll=wigo3433 closed="yes">It's okay if we're the ones using Stalinist tactics. CP attacks a newspaper for using the "Stalinist tactic" of airbrushing", but uses the Stalinist tactic of declaring your opponents to be mentally ill. <votecp poll=wigo3430 closed="yes">It's always about abortion: Andy cites a source that says the Democrat won on local issues, with the Republican rejected for running on a national conservative platform, but he ignores his own source and says it's all about abortion. Bonus: Isn't "pro-life democrat" an oxymoron, Andy? <votecp poll=wigo3429 closed="yes">A little truth comes in. How long until the oversight? <votecp poll=wigo3428 closed="yes">Ken sez "atheism is something I just can't understand... therefore it must be the work of Satan!"

<votecp poll=wigo3427 closed="yes">🇰🇪 calls TK out on his complete bullshit Update TK barks at Ken and takes a swipe at...PJR? Of course TK, being the deceitful monkey-brained freak that he is, oversights the lot. <votecp poll=wigo3426 closed="yes">Karajou doesn't know what he's trying to say. Morgantown, West Virginia's Dominion-Post dubiously airbrushed out three Democrats from a bill-signing photo in a misguided effort to not unfairly increase their exposure as they seek re-election, and Karajou calls out the rag for "lying" b/c airbrushing is Stalinist and politically correct (unless it's Sarah Palin in Newsweek). <votecp poll=wigo3425 closed="yes">Andy continues his "in the past people built cool stuff in religious countries" series with London Tower Bridge, which according to Atheist Wikipedia is often mistakenly referred to as London Bridge. Update: Rcgallup: Andy's wrong, PatrickP: "Don't most Englanders call it that anyway?", Andy: I agree, and cite those nursery rhymes hymns with photos in them"; far more reliable than the MSM! And apparently the real London Bridge is in Arizona now, but Tower Bridge is in London! UPDATE Not wanting to be overlooked amongst this stupidity,🇰🇪 jumps about, waves his arms and shouts 'look at me!' <votecp poll=wigo3424 closed="yes">Our favourite Conservapede decides that what CP needs isn't a Welcome template, but rather a Please Fuck Off template <votecp poll=wigo3423 closed="yes">Ed creates yet another pointless piece of pop culture before engaging himself in some light chit-chat. <votecp poll=wigo3422 closed="yes">Kowardjou reverts an edit because it explains that their quote mine doesn't mean Richard Dawkins agrees with Hitler, only to read it again and realise that the editor shows that Dawkins actually agrees with Stalin and Pol Pot too!

<votecp poll=wigo3421 closed="yes">CP in a nutshell: 'I have no idea what it is, but I'm against it!' <votecp poll=wigo3419 closed="yes">Liberal Democrat candidate lies about serving in Vietnam -- CP's response: Headline news! (along with famous draft-dodger Dick Cheney's endorsement of Meg Whitman); Conservative "family values" Republican Congressman admits to affair, resigns his office -- CP's response: crickets chirping <votecp poll=wigo3418 closed="yes">No, this is not the equivalent of the FBI Incident. <votecp poll=wigo3417 closed="yes">Pointing out that Obama's birth name couldn't possibly be Soetoro is not just bigotry, it's liberal bigotry!

<votecp poll=wigo3416 closed="yes">What's that Andy? A study finds no correlation between class size and learning? But it does when you want it to? <votecp poll=wigo3415 closed="yes">Andy again, this time doing some slight tweaking to a list of undesirable college majors he found on the net. <votecp poll=wigo3414 closed="yes">Andy doesn't understand the difference between correlation and causation: stop saving energy, or you'll decrease our lifespan. Maybe he would've liked the health care bill better if it had included subsidies for SUVs. <votecp poll=wigo3413 closed="yes">Slack-jawed head-scratching, because nobody there--certainly not Jinx McHue--can remember a time when a partisan conservative hack ever acted out or illegally surveilled because conservatives don't do mean things. "I meant hack e-mail, which is the worst!" Jinx would say if he could talk, but he can't, because he's a robot who types under a name that screams parodist. <votecp poll=wigo3412 closed="yes">Outrage as schools ask for money to pay teachers.

<votecp poll=wigo3411 closed="yes">Karajoke's at it again: food safety regulation is an appalling government intrusion into people's bodies and the 'Right to Buy Whatever I Want', yet it is "unfortunate" that the government cannot force a husband and wife to ditch condoms in their bedroom because there is no 'Right to Privacy'. Contradiction? Na, never. <votecp poll=wigo3410 closed="yes">Andy's new double standard: Why don't liberals criticize the Great Wall of China? <votecp poll=wigo3409 closed="yes">Andy's latest what-the-fuckery: "England is not really very English: In parts of inner-London, the schoolchildren who not speak English as their first language now exceed three-quarters. In its entire nation, including all the rural areas, one-sixth of schoolchildren do no speak English as their first language." UPDATE: ther, I fixd iT

<votecp poll=wigo3408 closed="yes">The heart-felt letter from the mother of a victim of conservative homophobia may be a copy-and-paste job, but Karajerk's response is not: "You are a hate-filled bigot who sides with everything God is against". Way to show some Christian Love, you sack of shit. <votecp poll=wigo3407 closed="yes">An early Christmas present from 🇰🇪. Saving us a heap of trouble, our favorite Conservapedian conveniently provides one stop shopping for all his greatest idiocy. <votecp poll=wigo3406 closed="yes">Andy the educator on the entire spectrum of politics, Abortion/Christianity fully encompasses everything. Andy the educator on his claim that teachers unions don't teach kids to read, Fuck off! <votecp poll=wigo3405 closed="yes">TK = Joe McCarthy gone green?

<votecp poll=wigo3404 closed="yes"> A Christian cross that atheists had been attacking in courts for 10 years was stolen. Therefore, it was stolen by atheists.

<votecp poll=wigo3402 closed="yes">One gets the impression Andy doesn't like Elena Kagan <votecp poll=wigo3401 closed="yes">Andy: 'where are the liberal senators' Mother's Day tributes?' Here? Or how about here?

<votecp poll=wigo3400 closed="yes">Conservapedia: Drill, baby, drill! If only so we can accuse Obama of destroying our coastal ecosystems! But Andy, we thought God "served the creature"? Bonus: the referenced article says the opposite of what Rob thought. <votecp poll=wigo3399 closed="yes">Respect your mother...because God commands it! Can't think of any other reasons then? <votecp poll=wigo3398 closed="yes">The only noteworthy application of linear algebra Andy can think of: Analyzing Liberal style on Wikipedia. <votecp poll=wigo3397 closed="yes"> Wouldn't want to resort to | rap music to promote nonsense, now | would we?

<votecp poll=wigo3396 closed="yes">🇰🇪 proposes a multimedia "Dawkins is a clown" contest, soliciting art, music and essays on this important topic. <votecp poll=wigo3395 closed="yes">And so the fun begins...Andy is on a mission to redefine the term 'landslide' UP THE DATE: Despite the lack of overall majority, it's still a landslide. <votecp poll=wigo3394 closed="yes">Andy on Mainpage (six hours or so before the polls close): [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template%3AMainpageright&diff=776004&oldid=775946 Socialists are going dowwwwwn in an historic end to liberal policies! The English press says so!] British press, Andy, British press...plus, he's citing a Malaysian newspaper. UPDATE TK: "Conservatives win", meanwhile, back in reality, only 3 seats have been declared. ANDY UPDATE, NOT BEING CONDESCENDING AT ALL: Kiss my red, white and blue ass Welcome back to the special relationship! <votecp poll=wigo3393 closed="yes"> Tea party failing to kick ass? Well of course, it's conservative says Andy. <votecp poll=wigo3392 closed="yes">Today's logical fallacy, an implied Argumentum ad Populum

<votecp poll=wigo3391 closed="yes">User: "Ken, your broken news item doesn't tie up with the source you provided." TK: "Well, perhaps this non-sequitur will answer your question, weasel?" <votecp poll=wigo3390 closed="yes">CP Sysop RobS on normal editors: "Milk 'em".

<votecp poll=wigo3388 closed="yes">TK bans British Columbia. Or at least, bans all BC DCCNET users. <votecp poll=wigo3387 closed="yes">Andy applauds as Conservatives seem set to win a massive and significant victory in Britain - the land of atheism! Jimmy22: "Uh, it's kind of normal for power to alternate between Labour and the Conservatives, and the polls indicate no overall majority." Andy:"Liberal denial! The media is conspiring to downplay this unprecedented landslide!" Jimmy22: "But, look at the numbers!" Andy:"Conspiracy! Open your mind!" JacobB:"I'm sick of your talk talk talk. Have a vacation."

<votecp poll=wigo3386 closed="yes">Conservapedia tries to get Psygremlin's CPMonitor blog taken down. But we thought it was only liberals who did nasty things like censorship!? Update: They failed! <votecp poll=wigo3385 closed="yes"> Andy, in full-on douchebag mode, blames Spain's unemployment on... gay marriage. Makes perfect sense. <votecp poll=wigo3384 closed="yes">TK Mk 1: "European Socialism, which systematically purges all traces of Christianity from the system there, all religious tolerance whatsoever, in the name of homogenization, and a desire to not offend Muslims." TK Mk 2: "Belgium bans the Burqa!!"

<votecp poll=wigo3383 closed="yes">In order to promote Andy's hatred of violent movies, he skips over SIX references to a student's attraction to thriller NOVELS! and suffered from "mental illnesses that were exacerbated by a lifetime of bullying and harassment." <votecp poll=wigo3382 closed="yes">CP, which isn't the "National Enquirer of the Internet" claims that Obama had an affair. Source? National Enquirer.. Tk vapes it. <votecp poll=wigo3381 closed="yes">Daddy! Daddy! I wrote an essay on that nasty Mr Darwin! Um... actually, I copied it from here, here and here. <votecp poll=wigo3380 closed="yes">HSMom: If I may offer a little assistance? TK: Uh-huh, We don' need none o' your fancy grammar here, bi-yatch. <votecp poll=wigo3379 closed="yes">What kind of evil liberals would portray Arizona as conservative?!....oh, right <votecp poll=wigo3378 closed="yes">User: Let me innocently ask a question on Ken's madness. Ken: One day, all shall be revealed. Except that, thanks to TK, he's talking to a ghost.