2017 United Kingdom general election

It’s almost as if Theresa May looked at Hilary’s campaign and said let’s do that

The 2017 UK general election was announced by Prime Minister Theresa May after saying she wasn't calling a snap election. Seven months after David Cameron, the previous Prime Minister, tried to win back UKIP voters with a referendum and got more than he bargained for. Disgraced, Cameron resigned, and (then) Home Secretary Theresa May succeeded him. Seeing her parliamentary majority, May then attempted to push for a larger majority for Brexit negotiations. She needed the consent of two-thirds of Parliament to trigger a snap election. Jeremy Corbyn, Leader of the Opposition, surprisingly agreed to her request causing collective panic. Bring on the obligatory pictures of politicians eating "commoner food"!

But then, in a shock, it turns out Corbyn had the right idea after all. Theresa May likes her parliament the same way she likes her men: Well-hung. Tory Remainers must be seething right now.

Ulterior motives
It should have been a slam dunk for the Tories. Labour under Corbyn were disunited and unelectable to many. It's easy to see why she'd push for a snap election; She'd get an extra two years, while Labour would be "in chaos". The likelihood of the Conservatives thrashing the opposition would have been very good politically. Other motives include:


 * The timing also seemed to be designed to discourage students from voting. The date is slap-bang in the middle of many university and A-Level exams. That went well.
 * There is an ongoing police investigation into electoral spending "errors" at the 2015 General Election, which could have lead to several seats being re-fought by a scandal-hit government — unless there's an election first.
 * May had to work with David Cameron's 2015 Conservative manifesto, some of which she wanted to discard.
 * Finally, as she was not Prime Minister at the election, and became PM without being voted in, she had no mandate, which she needs for her credibility.

Neither party even had time to prepare a manifesto. Why state your own policies when you can sling shit at other parties! The Libertarian Party had one ready, though:

Conservatives on the Issues

 * Brexit: This wouldn't be as big a problem if May could have gained a mandate, given that she was an unelected PM. If May retained or increased her majority, she would have a strong position for any kind of Brexit deal. Merkel and Macron would recognise that the majority of Britons are behind May, and couldn't haggle over any of those issues.
 * Health care privatisation: If you don't all vote Conservative, it will undermine our position and we'll have less money to give the NHS. Funny that.
 * This is a great opportunity for Tory MPs to earn some money creating companies related to healthcare, buying stock in private healthcare companies or just getting money under the table from said companies.


 * Immigration: Under Cameron, Tories took on the image of being nationalistic, for working people. Brexit claimed to fulfill that by ending freedom of movement, however as you may have noticed that has yet to happen under the watch of the Conservatives. Beyond that the party has a terrible record on controlling immigration failing to decrease Tony Blair's massive increase in net migration.
 * Austerity: The Office for National Statistics lists total disability benefit spending in 2014-15 as £41,000,000,000; that's a sizable chunk but less than family benefits at £44,000,000,000 and pensions at £108,000,000,000 (surprise!). Unemployment benefits, often in the news as those lazy "scroungers" who just need bootstraps,   is in its lowest ebb at £3,000,000,000. The other two sections are housing benefit at £27,000,000,000, a huge amount of which goes to private landlords and "Personal social services and other benefits" at £34,000,000,000.
 * The social care policy was an attempt by David Cameron to alleviate the looming social care crisis, i.e. the biggest domestic issue facing this country. Clearly it was a waste of time, and it's much easier to just buy peoples' votes.


 * Trident submarines: "Love thy neighbor"? "Cast the first stone..."? Subversive hippy nonsense.
 * Climate change: If sea levels rise, it will be harder for immigrants to get across the channel. Brilliant strategy. The world is coming to an end in 100 years anyway, and we are making sure of it!
 * Internet encryption: We're sorry, we appear to have wandered into China by mistake. (When she was Home Secretary she tried to do the same with television, but members of her own party declared it to be too Orwellian.)
 * Fox huntingThis again?: Tories looking after the toffs as usual. Labour also wants to end badger culling. No comment expect to say that is the most profoundly British thing we have ever seen.

Conservative Party
May is offering a vision: One nation conservatism, British unionism, controlling immigration, clamping down on the excesses of political correctness, reintroducing grammar schools, skeptical of globalism, openly championing values and traditions the left thinks of as antiquated or conservative but are in reality mainstream sentiments in the UK.

Labour Party
The progressives have put a candidate up to no avail at every election since the 1990s. It's always been the same group (Abbott, Corbyn, McDonnell et al.), and who's chosen has always been completely arbitrary.

Scottish National Party
People are reacting to the centrism of the Blair years, which we see with the rise of Corbyn, SNP and UKIP respectively.

Democratic Unionist Party
DUP made their name on being "hard men" for their communities during the Troubles. Fortunately, there appears to be a wave of next-gen candidates in all the parties—even Sinn Fein and the DUP. (They really do need Foster, Adams, Kelly, Wilson, Robinson, and Campbell to push off, though.)

Green Party of England and Wales
Due to the Green Party's dislike of singular leaders, it is represented by two.

Liberal Democrats
Lib Dem MPs could fit inside a Smart Car. They collapsed at the 2015 general election, in part thanks to their coalition with the Conservatives. (see Top 10 Anime Betrayals)

Plaid Cymru
Plaid is egalitarian, distancing themselves from Tory-Labour "working-class" rhetoric. Funnily, Lib Dems are not as popular in Wales.

Sinn Féin
Being Irish, a lot of lefties feel trepidacious about voting Sinn Féin due to their history with the IRA.

Social Democratic and Labour Party
The left-wing party in Northern Ireland whose baggage don't tick.

UK Independence Party
UKIP is anti-immigrant, anti-trade union, and more countryside conservative. Anti-immigration appeals to unemployed people and some unions, though.

This lady's not for turning up
UK debates are a fairly recent thing, and May was far from the first candidate to run a "doorstep" campaign. Overall it's a different, and often much more opaque, political culture. All she needed to do is not talk.

There was one between various party leaders. Corbyn turned up at the last moment, unprepared (perhaps thinking the other lefties would give him an easy ride), and May sent over her Home Secretary, Amber Rudd; which just made her look worse. (Rudd's father died just 48 hours prior.)

They we had a… well, not a debate, but a thing… It was two Jeremy Paxman interviews back-to-back, rather than a head-to-head debate. Paxman focused on personal attacks on Corbyn—none of which were new, and none of which he answered differently (and Corbyn rekt him a few times too) —and very little on policy. They also avoided NHS and social care for May, and instead played a round of Deal or No Deal. The audience laughed at May a few times. A clear win for... Andrew Neil over Paxman.

Her charm, if we can call it that, did more to whittle down the Tories' lead from 20-25% to single figures in a matter of weeks. Even hapless performances from Labour politicians like Diane Abbott had little effect. Remember, Clinton '16 was never at any point that far ahead nationwide as the Tories were when the snap election was called.

The absolute madman
The Conservative Party has two states: complacency and panic.

What should have been the biggest electoral washout for the Conservatives since Margaret Thatcher became one of the most pyrrhic victories for the Tories ever recorded in modern history, single-handedly setting them back seven years. Many are now questioning why May even bothered to call for a snap election. Her 24-point lead dwindled into single digits within two weeks, leading to a Brexit trainwreck and a zombie Prime Minister. Meanwhile, the "unelectable" Corbyn demolished all expectations and got a net gain of seats, in some seats that were deep blue for decades, even in one case a century. The 2017 snap election marked the first election in twenty years since Labour made a net gain in terms of seats.

Sad to see the back of Clegg (in favor of a wingnut). Lib Dems ran on being the ones who would undo, or redo, the EU referendum, and they've only gotten 6 seats for their troubles. Delightful to see the back of Alex Salmond, less sop that it was (again, to another wingnut). Everyone knew the SNP were going to lose seats, but none of the polls predicted them losing 22 seats. Labour cannibalised their votes and let the Tories in. (Thanks, FPTP.) Not good for Indy...but maybe good for the UK.

This remains a huge cock-up by the Tories: the whole point of a snap election was to "crush the saboteurs" and deliver the overwhelming mandate they supposedly need to push through Brexit. Instead the country will be every bit as divided as before.

The Tories and DUP combined will have a majority if they form a coalition together. DUP are already outlining terms for soft Brexit as price for propping up the enfeebled Tories. A ~10 seat party. Let that sink in. DUP likes Boris Johnson, so one wagers he'll be vying for leadership.

Implications
May now has to govern in a confidence-and-supply deal with the Democratic Unionist Party. Remember all that worry about Ulster breaking away from the UK because of Brexit? Now that she's in a coalition with a Northern Irish party, her "red, white and blue" Brexit looks a little less secure. And the best part? Her own Cabinet is threatening mutiny if she waters down Brexit, which is what DUP wants. If she wants to govern, she needs to have the Unionists' MPs, which means watering down Brexit. If she wants to stay in office, she needs the support of her Cabinet and Party, which means staying the course. Both of those possibilities assume, of course, that she doesn't resign in disgrace, tail between her legs.

A mandate from the people would have convinced the Europeans that Brexit is inevitable. Now the Europeans have reason to doubt May's resolve, not to mention her ability as a politician. May still wanted access to the European market while contributing nothing to the Union. After the results, the Europeans are unlikely to give this to her. If her own Party starts revolting, why should Donald Tusk listen to her?