RationalWiki:What is going on in the world?/0001


 * A little good news for once: Ku Klux Klan Confounded by Clowns
 * Should Dubya ever declare martial law, who will he call on to help mollify the general public? Why, the clergy!  And they'll use scripture -- specifically, Romans 13: 1-7 -- as justification.  So reports the CBS affiliate in Shreveport, Louisiana.
 * This is an example of a good 'ol fashioned conservative political cartoon. So is this, complete with misspellings.  Seriously.  Oh, and Conservapedia approves of it, too.
 * Two thousand years after his execution, will Jesus Christ finally be exonerated?
 * The poor really aren't doing badly at all. In fact not only do 97% of them own their own TVs, 97% of them actually own color TVs! It's the overtaxed rich who are really hurting.
 * Vaccination is a type of witchcraft! Burn, witch, burn!
 * Jesus has risen again! Or is He the Anti-Christ?  Doesn't matter because He claims to be both!  He drinks, He smokes, and He lives in suburban Houston, Texas.  (You knew He had to be one of Dubya's former constituents.)  ABC News story.
 * Geriatric conservative rocker Ted Nugent threatens the lives of two United States Senators, asking Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton to "suck on these" while brandishing a pair of automatic rifles. Yes, we have video.
 * The moon emits no light of its own, and merely reflects light from the sun? Not if you believe in God.
 * Christian Swingers???
 * What do our soldiers need in Iraq? Hint: It's not up-armored Humvees or specialized clothing for the summer heat.  Bibles, proselytizing material in Arabic, and copies of the Left Behind video game are at the top of the list.
 * You all are just a bunch of Slime-Snake-Monkey-People.
 * Is there NOBODY at the Penatagon who has "making sure we don't piss off the Muslims" as part of their job description?
 * Ben Stein, the rebel in shorts, plans to shove it to the "evolutionist" establishment in a new movie, Expelled.
 * Ted Haggard - he's back, he's 'cured', and if you send him cash, you're headed for Heaven Baby!.  Note: just 3 weeks of treament needed to stop being gay.
 * Science blogger P.Z. Myers is being sued by a crackpot pseudo-scientist for giving him a bad book review. Good luck, Dr. Pivar.
 * Don't like being confronted with evidence? Have your government ban a whole domain of blogs
 * Christians should pray for the deaths of Secularist Group leaders.
 * If you ever have a doubt about the literal Biblical story of creation, or its strength as scientific fact, just read the Bible some more. Don't try to think outside the box.  Everything you need is right there.  STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!  Just ask these guys.
 * Colorado Right to Life reminds us all that birth control pills don't work...
 * Huckabee and Brownback trade insults over e-mail, in a petty religious tiff. This is what fundamentalist conservative debates are like: middle school, but without the sex.
 * A group called Family Security Matters wants to nuke Iraq and use the military to make Bush President for life. The essay is pulled but the google cache is here. FSM is a front for the Center for Security Policy, "cream of the crop" Republican security advisers, and Dick Cheney was a member until recently. Read more on it here.
 * Christian boot camp - where the youth of the nation go to learn Christian values like, "Faith," "Love," and "Keep Up With The Group Or You'll Get Dragged Behind My SUV, Bitch!"
 * Don McLeroy, the chairman of the Texas State Board of Education, announces that we must all "keep chipping away at the objective empirical evidence." of evolution.
 * Only Satan and his followers would vote "yes" on allowing alcohol to be sold.
 * Tom Tancredo explains his 'gently-gently' foreign policy strategy
 * According to radio wingnut Michael Savage, Supreme Court Justice John Roberts' recent seizure was because "his health was in some way tampered with by the Democrats".
 * Typical "YEC" reasoning: two German scientists "disprove" global warming. Therefore, it can't be happening.
 * "Daylight [savings time exacerbates warning (sic)"] (This one is a parody, of course.)
 * Universal health care stimulates terrorism.
 * What's the correct Christian response to Evolution? Death Threats!
 * A clean, family-friendly encyclopedia that may be used by children needs to be very careful about discussion of breasts, so it has mammary glands. Complete with "she has been blessed" as a euphemism for development, or "she has been abundantly blessed" in some cases.  I can just imagine the text messaging among boys in high school English class.
 * Assisted suicide is a-ok, but only if it's a Christian "assisting" a nonbeliever.
 * Israel supports Same Sex Marriage? Nope, just the work of Liberal Activist Judges
 * And this just kills me.
 * Emphasis on casualties in Saving Private Ryan is an example of liberal-ness.
 * How could David Vitter's wife not forgive him? God did.
 * Conservapedia keeps dossiers on all presumptive Cabal members, and all trouble-makers. These highly invasive files include personal information such as full name, age, family members, employment, and contact information.  So, we now see what it would be like to live in a world run by Conservapedia: what we would lack in privacy, we would gain in vindictive animosity.
 * Vermont, from the French for green mountain, supported the North in the War of Aggression, oh and QUEER MARRIAGE
 * Yeah, San Francisco is nice, they have the Golden Gate Bridge, Union Square, NO QUEER MARRIAGE, Fisherman's wharf, Alcatraz....
 * In contrast to the Fair and Balanced Fox News, the BBC is just biased!
 * Using presidential pardons to make sure that political allies don't serve time in jail, which they deserve for violating the law, is "fair and balanced." Just ask President Bush.
 * Dick Cheney didn't shoot anyone; his hunting partner just received buck shot to the face and neck after walking into his blind spot. Also, it appears that Cheney moved into Whittington's blind spot rather than vice versa.
 * Christians doing something they shouldn't? Then obviously they aren't Christians, and it's all a liberal conspiracy!
 * Sam Brownback's arguments against evolution fall flat, and prove why he'd be a truly awful President. See our arguments here.
 * RobS claims that every human being is a capitalist, without exception.
 * Entropy is nothing but a public relations campaign of Godless liberals!
 * Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion is an Establishment Clause violation.
 * 65,536 more IPs are banned, nonupling the number of blocks on CP. The number of blocks has octodecupled since the range block of July 9th.
 * Having your founding member in jail for a decade, his wife in jail for a year, your primary business property shut down and being piecemeal auctioned off by the IRS is merely an unfortunate distraction over at Creation Science Evangelism.
 * It was man's sin that turned the cute lap dog that is the T-rex from an efficient vegetarian to a meat eater! How many tubers would it take to fill him up?
 * God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets. . From the same article: Social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal [sic] workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay.
 * The miraculous Orbo! Its a perpetual motion machine that provides free clean and sustainable energy with no need for external power. Don't believe it? Check out their public demonstration....oh wait...
 * Pro-Science its all about the packaging!
 * Science is easier than you thought...all it takes is a poll!
 * The Fourteenth Amendment stands for the separation of church and state, according to Aschlafly. Now, maybe that's what they teach at Harvard Law, but not what the law actually says.  See our Fourteenth Amendment article to see why Andy's wrong about pretty much everything.
 * CP, The trustworthy encyclopedia, embraces the most important issues of the day: to wit: Are Dogs better than Cats? and is it a leftwing conspiracy? CP say "yes" on both counts. And yet they ridicule Wikipedia for having a "silly" entry on the slang expression "duh".
 * Before you complain about anything, you must complain about everything. Don't bother criticizing Andy until you tackle every other problem in the world.
 * CP Unwelcome Mat is Official!: CP Sysops to earn points (and not just brownie points) by blocking editors.
 * "No continents are underwater today for the simple reason that continental crust is composed of lighter minerals than oceanic crust." All this time, I thought continents were not underwater because then they would be called "ocean floor". Don't reinsert since this is true. Sheesh... human be in 22:43, 5 July 2007 (CDT)


 * Deletion can only refer to DNA.
 * Conservapedia weighs in on African Americans: A very brief entry on African Americans in CP includes a section devoted to their "lower than average" intelligence.
 * Terrorism is |hilarious! Thank God Andy understands this.
 * More politicizing of tragedy: More Young Earth Creationist Math. Conservapedia thinks being in a coma for ten days with the likelihood of brain injury is pretty much the same as being in a persistent vegetative state for over a decade.
 * Homopedia: An idea whose time has come!
 * Pat Robertson explains how sweetness and umami (savoriness) are a government conspiracy to kill children.
 * Democrats gain an unfair advantage in elections because dogs can vote.
 * Supreme Court Redemption?: the Supreme Court has agreed to hear testimony & appeals from Guantanamo detainees, in a surprise break with precedent. We should keep our fingers crossed for redemption of an otherwise poor week for liberal lawyers everywhere.
 * The Nobel Prize committee has given little recognition to Relativity, presumably because they doubt it's true; nevertheless, they denied a Nobel Prize to Robert Dicke because of his criticism of Relativity.
 * Conservapedia's founder gives right-thinking Christians carte blanche to judge others citing his considered opinion that some of the teachings of Jesus are too liberal and therefore not part of the real bible.
 * According to Andy, liberals all support the creation of chimera.
 * The sun set on the British Empire because they promoted the Piltdown Man.
 * Chuck Norris works to uncover a vast atheist conspiracy that wants to outlaw Christianity in the United States.
 * Electrons are good, while protons are evil.
 * Geraldo Rivera is a liberal, even though he supports the troops?
 * Elamdri's logic: "If you are Mexican, but you don't live in Mexico, then you aren't really Mexican anymore because you've relinquished your Mexican citizenship"
 * Guess what? Slavery isn't all bad!
 * The Confederate States of America existed until 1870.
 * Leftists [are]...advocates of thought control
 * Authorisation is necessary to be on a public wiki, and only Sysops are allowed to talk to one another.
 * Ashlafly's educational advice to a student - "don't read a book to learn, but write a book to learn". Note: A shortened version of this advice recently became a CP motto.
 * Nothing important happened on June 8 or June 11
 * RobS grumpily accepts that his New Ordeal article is an essay, but still bans user Irat as the door shuts behind him
 * The New Atheism is stronger than ever - The Nation
 * Warm front sweeps through the Great Lakes region, bringing storms. Wild paranoia sweeps through CP, bringing bans.
 * Despite their protestations to the contrary, The Church of Jesus Christ are not Christians.
 * Imaginary numbers are Satanic
 * CP believes that conservatives out grew deceit by age 6. I wonder if they count Tom Delay or Scooter Libby as a conservative?
 * Mirabile dictu! U.S. dollars pre-date the U.S.A.! This is clearly a measure of the strength of our currency.
 * Midnight Cowboy is a "pornographic film" which "has long since been forgotten".
 * Liberals made fun of Jesus Christ in person.
 * This has a pro-evolutionary bias.
 * Creating an account then asking for deletion is a Parthian shot.
 * Polls are important only when the results support your opinion.
 * Sam Brownback clarifies his stance on evolution in the New York Times. Summary, "microevolution" OK, I.D. better.
 * The Kitzmiller case, which dealt a death blow to the intelligent design movement, was biased, activist, etc., etc... See why they're wrong here.
 * The TV Show 24 proves that torture is always needed in the War on Terror.
 * The main reason humans fear death is because they're afraid of God's judgement? See our refutation at Essay:Fear of Death.
 * People are not animals, and there is 'no evidence animals can "think"'.
 * As an award for proving Fermat's Last Theorem, Andrew Wiles was awarded US citizenship; this item was fixed on May 27th.
 * The time period between 1929 and 1949 are known as the New Ordeal or the "Great Ordeal". Also, this 20 year period is entirely covered by 4 4-year terms, and no Republicans held the presidency during this time period.  Also, Harry S. Truman's presidency preceded Franklin Roosevelt's. Note: Some of this has been fixed, but the uncited use of "New Ordeal" remains; see this article for more information.
 * Paula Jones, central figure in the Bill Clinton sex scandals, is the same person as the Stephen E. Jones who sued to prevent the electors from the state of Texas from casting their votes for Dick Cheney in 2000. That paragraph has been edited by two CP sysops  since its May 13th introduction without that being corrected.
 * Writing "Ic3w3dg3 = JESUS" on a website viewed by less than 1/2 of .01% of internet users is an act of terrorism.
 * It is closed-minded to believe that physical constants (speed of light, half-life of carbon) are constant. Even when their modification would cause the universe to implode.  It logically follows that when the laws of physics must bend to allow young-earth creationistm... they do!
 * Legal rules here (search for User:Richard) apply to Conservapedia's block policy... at least, when they result in decreasing annoyance to Andy. When legal conventions like "evidence" and "due process" get in the way of blocking users, they're summarily ignored.
 * Witchcraft exists because God exists.
 * Any kind of website attack, especially those involving being mean to Conservatives, is an act of cyberterrorism, even though that would involve changing the definition of the word.
 * Words must appear in both British English and American English to be considered "legitimate English words". No value is placed upon other dialects of English.
 * Heliocentrism is an Atheist Doctrine
 * CP finally gets to a topic we can all agree on...baseball!
 * Since February of 2007, more than 3000 users have been blocked from this website
 * CP improves clarity, and freshens breath!
 * Plan B is awesome!
 * "Tweaking sysops" is a blockable offence.
 * A toaster works through inexplainable means that only God understands, and to ask how it works is to verge on blasphemy.
 * Being the target of a mocking column equals success. Being the target of a blog that no one has ever heard of is an even greater success!
 * American highschools should teach "Australian" as a foreign language.
 * Users banned for having incorrect musical taste - many songs removed
 * Calling for aggressive scrutiny of SCOTUS nominees is a coup, that is, a change in the constitution!