User:John the Wolf

I am here to tell the truth about the zombie birds.

In May 2016, zombie birds first appeared in Southwestern Wisconsin. Nearly all of them were made purely of skeleton, though some were sighted that still had bits of rotting flesh. Most of them looked like flightless emus, but with the heads of eagles, while a minority of them were almost exactly like eagles and could fly. They do not appear to need water or food to survive, but love to eat livestock and children. They can only be killed by tearing apart their body or otherwise destroying it. It is unknown how they reproduce, but it is clear that it has something to do with eating their live victims.

They ravage entire fields and towns and spread very quickly. They spread all over Wisconsin first while mysteriously never crossing the state border. In October 2016, a few of them flew into the lower peninsula Michigan. (As biologists discovered, their youths (teenager-equivalents) are able to fly, but mature into flightless adults.) They quickly ravaged that state too. The government and the media suppressed the story, claiming "hoax" and "pseudoscience". Donald Trump promised to send the army to finally kill the zombies at one rally, causing Wisconsin and Michigan to vote for him in a miracle.

In 2017, the zombie birds started spreading into other states: Iowa, Illinois, Indiana and Ohio. In another mystery, Minnesota was spared. They caused waves of panic among the locals. The zombie birds are the reason why Midwesterners are fleeing in droves to the Sun Belt. Trump mistakenly sent the army into Texas to kill the zombie birds. Everyone in the former city of Austin was slaughtered. We do not understand how they could mistake live humans for zombie birds.

The zombie birds finally spread all over the Midwest in 2019 and headed for the Mountain West. All the governments, political parties and media continue to deny the existence of the zombie birds in spite of overwhelming evidence. In 2021, the birds are still ravaging the land. The population of my state, Michigan, has decreased by 30%.

It is very painful to live with the birds. They indiscriminately attack little children outside. All of us regularly see children being eaten outside, and I myself have lost relatives. They have evolved to smash windows and doors, and to be immune to gunfire. There must be 50 million of these monsters alive. All of us are very frightened. The zombie birds must be stopped! The truth must be revealed!