Fun:Oenological argument

The oenological argument has two parts, the particular and the universal:


 * The particular argument, which proves the existence of oneself, runs thusly: "I drink, therefore I am." (As reproduced from early drafts of Descartes' )


 * The universal argument, which proves the existence of God, runs thusly: "When I drink, I hear voices. Since I am not insane, they must be God. QED."

History
Benjamin Franklin, an early proponent of the oenological argument, wrote in his first formulation: "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Evilutionists have contested this claim, arguing that renal failure outweighs any alleged "buzz". (Whether evilutionists are just total fucking killjoys remains to be seen. Check back in July next year.)

However, the original rendition predates Franklin by 17 centuries. Noted scholar J. H. Christ proved his own existence by transmuting water to wine (see "I drink, therefore I am") and thus proved that God lives in wine. However, the proof did not come without controversy: Oenological extremists (known as "alcoholists") have distorted Christ's wine-favoritism into proof that Germans (who prefer beer to wine) are unloved by God.

Criticism
All versions of the oenological argument are intrinsically coupled with the oenological problem, which can be briefly stated as: "What problem? I drink, I fall down. I get up. No problem."

Summary
It is worth mentioning that the oenological argument is the only proof of God's existence which contains no logical fallacies, or non-alcoholic content whatsoever.