Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/December 2009

TK:Isn't it funny that Obama is in Hawaii as Rush Limbaugh has a heart attack there. We can place you at the scene of the crime, Mr. Obama... Conservapedia announces its "Conservatives of the Decade!" Who took the top spot? Who made the waves? Who represented conservatism the best? A sexual harasser who supported expansive executive power and unreasonable police searches, who barely asks questions during his job. This is the best conservative from 2000 to 2009? Congress is safely held by Democrats. Obama handily won the election. But DMorris dreams of an Obama impeachment in the next decade. Is it really Obama who's bitter about not being president of the Harvard Law Review, not being successeful in politics , not winning a Nobel Prize er... not winning all the Nobel Prizes? User: The decade won't end for a year, so you shouldn't be doing "Conservatives of the Decade" just yet. Andy: Jesus wasn't born in A.D. 1. Buzz off. Why not, ? He accomplished more this decade than most of the other picks. User: "Your speculation about Castro's death is violating the rules." - TK: "Impossible. We are the rules." Yipe! According to TerryH's own blog a very reliable source, cap-and-trade isn't anything to do with the environment at all; it's a conspiracy to reduce American agricultural productivity!

When an intelligence failure in 2001 cleared the way for 9/11, President Bush said nothing. When a similar intelligence failure occurred in 2009, President Obama announced intent to improve the system to stop further failures. Instead of commending Obama for being tough on terrorism, Andy concludes that Obama is to blame for something-or-other and is trying to palm it off on somebody else. Also, despite not linking to the full text of Obama's speech, Andy magically knows what Obama did not say in it.

Uncle Ed bans a user for asking for Ed's email. Update: User's banishment over with due to "personal email." The debate on Fidel won't die!

User: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Fidel_Castro&diff=prev&oldid=739570 Other countries' leaders say he's alive. Do they lie, too?]

Karajou: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Fidel_Castro&diff=next&oldid=739570 If you think he's alive, go there to see for yourself. While you're there, try to criticize him or attend the church you want.]

Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Fidel_Castro&diff=next&oldid=739572 Castro wrote articles? Proves NOTHING! Each day he lives, the chance he's still alive shrinks. It's amazing liberals deny he's dead! Liberals won't deny it if the NYT runs a front page article about it! THEN Cuba will announce he's dead!]

User: I was just asking questions about why you think he's dead.

Karajou: If you don't care, then ARGUMENT OVER!

User: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Fidel_Castro&diff=next&oldid=739580 I'm sorry. I just wanted the truth, not speculation.]

Karajou: You should read the Bible more, especially the part about churches who "don't care one way or the other," like you.

JDW: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Fidel_Castro&curid=14458&diff=739586&oldid=739585 What motivation do liberals have for denying Fidel's death? It sounds like you're just picking a useless fight, Andy.]

User 3: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Fidel_Castro&curid=14458&diff=739591&oldid=739588 Andy, you don't make sense. You're breaking Conservapedia commandment 5, no personal opinion. I'm going to change the article to reflect this is only speculation.]

Ed: Fidel Castro is "missing and assumed dead c. 2009." He didn't "serve" his posts but "held" the posts, since he wasn't honestly elected. Rev. Moon Fidel reveled in worship of him by the public (and kissing up to Andy by directly copying his statement).

Wheel: Ed, User 3, Ed protects, Ed!

Uncle Ed adds to the requirements to edit on CP: "Refusal to submit a writing plan is grounds for dismissal from the project." Uncle Ed to JDW: "Get a clue!" Communists lie about everything! They have to conceal Fidel's death until they come up with a new dictator! Uncle Ed hasn't read CP's article where it states, "On February 18, 2008, Fidel Castro resigned as President of the State Council and Commander in Chief. He was succeeded by his brother, Raul Castro." Andy: Superwoman from Minnesota "exposed the attempt at a global currency; led the conservative fight against the govt takeover of health care; opposed the gay agenda, and beat back the liberals who targeted her seat." We just can't be bothered to spell her name correctly. Ben: I think Limbaugh is a good choice. Andy: I have an open mind about this, but STFU!!l Ben: I see your point, and raise you clear and concise reasons for inclusion. Igor Ben: Yes master!. User: Endogenous retroviruses put the theory of evolution beyond reasonable doubt. 🇰🇪: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Evolution&curid=9588&diff=739409&oldid=738494 Um ... er ... HEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!! Quick! Before I run out of Bible verses to quote!] UPDATE: User: What are these "creation scientists" of which you speak? 🇰🇪: Look it up ... no wait, don't!! <votecp poll=wigo2970 closed="yes">What will be the most influential trends of the coming decade? Andy: Whatever I'm obsessed with this week. <votecp poll=wigo2969 closed="yes"> nominates Andy as conservative of the decade, admitting he does it largely to drive us into some sort of uncontrollable rage. Apparently he's unaware he's already been repeatedly beat to the punch, and the nomination has been removed each time by Andy. (And no, Jinx, we're not in some sort of frenzy, but it's hard to pass up another chance to display your idiocy.) <votecp poll=wigo2968 closed="yes">Andy: Fidel Castro has not been seen in public for a while. Therefore, Fidel Castro is dead and writing newspaper columns from the grave. NAO: Is Andy reading RW? <votecp poll=wigo2967 closed="yes">This will never get old will it Karajou.

<votecp poll=wigo2966 closed="yes">Choice of the choiciest, Andy asks for contributions to "Conservatives of the Decade." They should measure up to Ronald Reagan, Andy explains. NAO with "quotes of the decade," including one from Juno to nominate an "unborn child." <votecp poll=wigo2965 closed="yes">Jpatt asks the question we all ask ourselves: Would anyone be surprised that a conservative think-tank named nine of its ten "most corrupt politicians" as Democrats? <votecp poll=wigo2964 closed="yes">And what picture does 🇰🇪 think best illustrates the concept of evolution? Why, Michelle Obama, of course! BONUS: Hitler's back! <votecp poll=wigo2963 closed="yes">The encyclopedia that does not engage in gossip wonders whether a Democratic senator is drunk during a speech? <votecp poll=wigo2962 closed="yes">Andy can't get over the butthurt of the Lenski affair. <votecp poll=wigo2961 closed="yes">Uncle Ed projects, "If it were proved to your satisfaction that some idea you've been using to bolster a political argument was false, would you keep using that idea in your argument?" Would you, Ed?

<votecp poll=wigo2960 closed="yes">Karajou and Philip J. Rayment: "The Scientific Method is the process used by scientists to conduct experiments." - Ed Poor: (almost two years later, even) "No, it's about italic, bold and colouring in scientific papers" <votecp poll=wigo2959 closed="yes">"A clearer, simpler introduction"! Maybe Andy was having a very merry Christmas. <votecp poll=wigo2958 closed="yes">Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Smart1993&oldid=737969 HEY! I'M A LIBERAL! CALL ME ON IT!!!] <votecp poll=wigo2957 closed="yes">Jpatt: A news story from the previous day posted to Wikipedia includes the words "al-Qaeda," "Taliban," "extremist" and "terrorist," but not "Muslim terrorist." This proves that liberals want to hide the truth. CP's page on the terrorist claims that Wikipedia's page never mentions "terrorist," if one ignores the seven times the term appears in the main article. <votecp poll=wigo2956 closed="yes">The greatest Ed stub of all time. <votecp poll=wigo2955 closed="yes">Ed's rampage causes some friendly fire: "Kill! Kill! Kill! ... Shit! Shit! Shit!" (Plus one he forgot to clean up...) <votecp poll=wigo2954 closed="yes">User: "I think the intro sentence is missing a word." Ed: Begone, time-waster! <votecp poll=wigo2953 closed="yes">Ed just realized that he hasn't fulfilled his yearly bullying quota and now has to catch up: "Dear Evelyn, please use your real name. Also, I just deleted your article, so now you violate our 90/10 policy. Oh, and show me a Writing Plan." <votecp poll=wigo2952 closed="yes">How DARE they? They are showing Jesus with a PENIS <votecp poll=wigo2951 closed="yes">The wiki that doesn't accept British spelling is thinking of being multicultural. <votecp poll=wigo2950 closed="yes">Benp's AABB rhyme scheme lands a fatal blow to Xmas secularism! Only fitting, since true poetry did not exist before Christ. <votecp poll=wigo2941 closed="yes">: Well, TerryKake, you'd better sue these people for copyright infringement.  Update: Karagoogoo questions why someone would be reading CP, and JacobB steps in to defend TK's plagiarism; "If TK said he made it, then he made it" Update 2: Now "Fair use" rather than "Self-made"; which is at least nice since the pictures are pixel-perfectly identical. UPDATE 3: burns the talk page for "lying." MORE: How long until this and this gets burned? FFS: You do not talk about TK's plagiarism. MORE: Here's hoping!

<votecp poll=wigo2948 closed="yes">Ed Poor puts some "tough love" in a new user's stocking. Merry Christmas, bitch! <votecp poll=wigo2947 closed="yes">Andy: Washington's Farewell Address proves that America is not an empire!And, for extra hilarity (and, were this anyone but Andy, a surefire Poe marker) the Monroe Doctrine proves the same. <votecp poll=wigo2946 closed="yes">JacobB: Hollywood hurts conservative kids by saying intelligent design is not a science and that smart people believe evolution to be true. Why won't Hollywood think of the children??? <votecp poll=wigo2945 closed="yes">Andy gives everyone early Christmas gifts by trying to rationalize his BotP with more articles.

<votecp poll=wigo2944 closed="yes">Another swing and a miss. Galois was known in his lifetime and published several papers before his death; he also earned a degree and even offered classes in advanced algebra. His ideas were accepted almost immediately in mathematics. <votecp poll=wigo2943 closed="yes">Karajou: "Damn the evidence, I'm still not convinced!" <votecp poll=wigo2942 closed="yes">How low can you go? If you're Jpatt, "combining prescription drugs," all legally prescribed, which caused Brittany Murphy's death, is further evidence of "Hollywood Values." <votecp poll=wigo2940 closed="yes">Andy: "The Beatles were experts, yet no song they produced was as good or as appreciated as the one-hit wonders." Nuff said.

<votecp poll=wigo2939 closed="yes">JacobB is reading a book about liberal denials to add to Conservapedia. One of the first "denials" in this book is that history books include photos of the Ku Klux Klan in the 1920s! Could it be because the Klan's resurgence and peak popularity occurred in the '10s and '20s, due to anti-immigration fears and southerners still segregating blacks? <votecp poll=wigo2938 closed="yes">Uncle Ed weighs in again: "Liburls muddy waters with context and meanings. We mean 'established experts' or 'acknowledged experts'. Only a fool (or an enemy) would think (or suggest) that we meant that having expert knowledge was useless." Funny, Ed, the page has a large quote, "The best of the public is better than a group of experts." Only fools or enemies would assume you meant experts? <votecp poll=wigo2937 closed="yes">The "public" encompasses more and more people; now even starting pitchers for the New York Yankees are not considered experts in their field. <votecp poll=wigo2936 closed="yes">, wearing his illiteracy on his sleeve, cites a study showing that pet dogs leave a carbon footprint basically equivalent to that of a car, and has decided that it means liberals want to ban pets

<votecp poll=wigo2935 closed="yes">Andy hates It's a Wonderful Life because it portrays humanism and not Christian truths. The movie shows George Bailey doing good deeds; apparently, to show Christian values, he should have been a complete asshole. Next on the cutting block, Bambi and its environmentalist message. <votecp poll=wigo2934 closed="yes">Liberals hate the baby Jesus! Conservatives hate fire safety! <votecp poll=wigo2933 closed="yes">Ed: 'I tried to update Wikipedia with useful information, but they took it out because they hate useful information'. Reality: 'Ed tried to update Wikipedia with confusing information that suggests he doesn't really know what he's talking about'. More So he adds a new(pisspoor) article on the same lines. <votecp poll=wigo2932 closed="yes">New user sucks up to Andy. Andy, being a douche: Nice try, but you should agree with me more! <votecp poll=wigo2931 closed="yes">Andy believes that Conservapedia offers nothing fake. He should read his site more often. <votecp poll=wigo2930 closed="yes">Conservapedia, the site that thinks doctors should be forced to tell patients imaginary risks relating to abortion and vaccines, thinks making cell phone manufacturers report the levels of radiation emitted by their products is "nanny-statism". Remember this simple rule, folks: it's only nanny-statism if a lib-burr-rul proposes it! <votecp poll=wigo2929 closed="yes">🇰🇪, showing typical conservative confusion, manages to decorate the main page with several examples of climate change, during a garbled attack on Obama. <votecp poll=wigo2928 closed="yes">Only in conservaland: Obama wins a Nobel peace prize when he wants to continue a war, but it should have gone to a man who had his own incursions.

<votecp poll=wigo2927 closed="yes">🇰🇪 polishes the crown jewels. For an hour. <votecp poll=wigo2926 closed="yes">Another hour, another attempt to justify the meme: "Being 'the best of the public' and not an 'expert' means you can break a record that lasts 30 years (ed. Bob Beamon won 22 of 23 track and field events prior to the Olympics where he broke the record, and whose record only stood for 23 years), or a broken clock is right more often than a working clock (ed. except for any atomic or digitally-synced clocks), or a musician who created a great song but nothing else worth mentioning (ed. except Don McLean made more than twenty albums, almost all after his best song was released)." And the best ending to an Andy insight: "Whether you understand occasional insights as inspired achievement, the work of the Spirit, or simply luck, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that greatness often comes from outside of the recognized experts." Still waiting for yours, Andy. <votecp poll=wigo2925 closed="yes">FrankC: "But the examples you use are experts! The public wouldn't understand questions about high-level math or physics." Andy: "Many of the public can understand higher math. You show the harm of 'experts only' mentality. By pretending that only experts can understand something, you destroy my pet project. Arrogant pricks like you force Perelman into hiding." FrankC: "Perelman fits your definition of an expert to a T. And he chose to be a recluse because of his eccentricity. Also, people who understand higher math are experts in math." Memory holing in 3... 2... Update 1: Andy can't be wrong. "You're simply redefining 'expert.' Since Perelman didn't have a math job, he wasn't an expert. Perelman rejected the experts in math, so he wasn't an expert himself!"

Another Sunday, another "insight". Now Testing Bias discriminates against conservatives who think there's a big invisible guy in the sky watching them all the time using "reason". <votecp poll=wigo2923 closed="yes">🇰🇪 finds an unbiased USA Today survey of happiness in each state and draws a conclusion, "Democrat and liberal states are the least happiest states." Careful now, Hawaii is mostly a Democrat state that voted for Obama in 2008 presidential election (which is ranked the second happiest state).

<votecp poll=wigo2922 closed="yes">Andy admits error, promises to fix the error, all while admitting he used a liberal source and with heavy amounts of snark. <votecp poll=wigo2921 closed="yes">Andy: "Galileo's contributions were not substantial." UPDATE: User: Surely you're joking!!! Andy (whose insights into physics cause merriment to scientists everywhere): Sure I'm serious, now go away. <votecp poll=wigo2920 closed="yes">Karajou's new cartoon shows "the typical environmentalist at Copenhagen": Red on the inside, black and white green on the outside. Obviously Karajou lost the green crayon. (Careful, there; your color scheme is a little too Battleship Potemkin for comfort.)

<votecp poll=wigo2919 closed="yes">To save his meme, Andy points to another example. Andy says this "unknown", who was well known in mathematical circles, provided the solution to one of the "greatest unsolved math problems of the 20th century," but that "a leading expert was accused of improperly trying to take credit for Perelman's work," without citation or naming the expert. Apparently the "best of the public" is almost entirely made up of experts in his examples. <votecp poll=wigo2918 closed="yes">How do you start your day? If you're Andy, you make the Bible sound like a first-grader were describing what happened. "A fantastic way to start the day" indeed! <votecp poll=wigo2917 closed="yes">Andy tries for another Lenski. [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Counterexamples_to_Relativity&curid=97238&diff=734885&oldid=727080 This pulsar disproves relativity! That's why no one's published any data about it for five years.] Science: Thirty years of data for Andy. Why did the data stop? Scientists found another binary pulsar where both stars' energy reaches the earth. With PSR B1913+16, only one star of the binary system had energy which reached the earth. Why study an incomplete source of data when a new one is revealed? When will the "coverup" end?

<votecp poll=wigo2915 closed="yes">User: The "Liberal denials about history" article has got to be a joke. Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Essay:Liberal_Denials_about_History&diff=728986&oldid=728984 You're in absurd denial. Invention is an American thing and Americans work harder than anyone else.] User: What about the Malaysian work camps where you work 12 hours a day and barely get anything to eat? Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Essay:Liberal_Denials_about_History&diff=733828&oldid=733390 You have free will to deny basic facts. I'll bet you spend more time trying to reject the Bible than reading it.] User: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Essay:Liberal_Denials_about_History&diff=734863&oldid=733834 I'm a member of the Plymouth Brethren, actually. Rejecting the Bible isn't in my modus operandi.] Andy: um, TL;DR, um... <votecp poll=wigo2914 closed="yes">The psychological projection knob is wound up as it is announced that when President Obama says, "meaningful and unprecedented breakthrough," he is speaking in code and means "failure." Of course, a right-winger would never do anything like that!

<votecp poll=wigo2913 closed="yes">In Andyland, Conservatives can be a little liberal because it's "educational, effective and appropriate." <votecp poll=wigo2912 closed="yes"> In Ed's world, both atheists and Moonies are considered "Jewish".

<votecp poll=wigo2911 closed="yes">Get out your translation dictionaries. Cover-up now means "not to listen to a suggestion." The Rogers Commission found no evidence of any cover-ups, just management not listening to engineers about a design flaw. [http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Best_of_the_public&curid=97773&diff=734691&oldid=734674 And Ed? He's still an expert, not "the public."] <votecp poll=wigo2910 closed="yes">JDW: [http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Best_of_the_public&diff=prev&oldid=734564 Experience helps with talent. Even common sense can't defeat a talented, experienced person.] Uncle Ed: [http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Best_of_the_public&diff=next&oldid=734564 Yeah, expertise is experience, where being an expert is only political. Al Gore got a Nobel even though he's only an expert! Encyclopedias should be about expertise, not experts.] Oi... Andy weighs in: "An expert is a particular type of person who pursued a particular credentialing path. It usually entails years of specialized learning from ages 16 to 25, at the sacrifice of other activities or pursuits.  Typically experts are from middle or upper class families that value credentials.  Women who have children during those ages -- the most natural ages for childbearing, are disqualified.  Also, criticizing the mainstream or saying something politically incorrect is a disqualification.  Only a tiny percentage of the public fits this narrow track of an 'expert'." At least we know what Andy considers an expert in his rants. <votecp poll=wigo2909 closed="yes">Andy, gushing about the CBP: Wow!!!! The whole KJV is up on Conservapedia now!!! A huge amount of credit is due to the man who performed a job so simple regexes could do it a spectacular feat of programming!!! <votecp poll=wigo2908 closed="yes">We are challenged to a game of chess <votecp poll=wigo2907 closed="yes">Andy tries to salvage his "best of the public": If Conservapedia's rules governed it, the public could collectively beat Kasparov at chess, instead of one expert. Plus, if the public could use computers, Kasparov would lose! Andy ignores Kasparov's history against computers, and even against the world. <votecp poll=wigo2906 closed="yes">Now what is Ed live blogging? <votecp poll=wigo2905 closed="yes">Andy and his pet idea of "best of the public" hits another snag. I didn't realize the Boston Marathon had a new, strict qualification. A new thing? And it appears his new choice also has requirements for entry. <votecp poll=wigo2904 closed="yes">Valid Debate, a play in three parts with intermission

NP: "Was Jesus liberal or conservative?"

Andy: "There's no debate, because I translate the Bible, and there's nothing liberal in my version."

NP: "If helping the poor is a choice, why shouldn't abortion be a choice?"

Andy: "You're illogical. I just don't want to respond to your questions. You'd know the answer if you'd translate the Bible like I do."

JAiken: "Government's only good if it enforces the Bible's rules."

Andy: "That's not logical. Like my suggestion for NP, Like my suggestion for NP, read the Bible at least 5% of your life."

JAiken: "I read and discuss the Bible regularly. It's wonderful."

Andy: "Everyone says they read the Bible growing up. But do you eat vegetables or exercise regularly now? Because that's like reading the Bible. Besides, Bible discussion groups never translate the Bible. Just talking about the Bible can't reveal how logical it is."

<votecp poll=wigo2903 closed="yes">Pointing out errors in the Conservative Bible Project translation gets you banhammered for pulling things out of your large intestine. <votecp poll=wigo2902 closed="yes">Careful, there, Andy; you might be giving a hint to your underlings that you are in desperate need of a good banhammering.

<votecp poll=wigo2901 closed="yes">Freudian slip alert: Ed, urging the Wiki not to perpetuate "feminist hype," notes that womon didn't bring down the Fort Hood shooter. <votecp poll=wigo2900 closed="yes">On the repeat of the Schlafly interview episode of The Colbert Report, Professor Schlafly instructs his class: "Stephen Colbert may have liked the high quality of this particular show and chose to replay it for that reason, or perhaps he selected it again for its educational value." <votecp poll=wigo2899 closed="yes">A moment of rationality hits CP. Will Andy understand? Will banhammer? These and other important questions will be answered on the next episode of Soap. <votecp poll=wigo2898 closed="yes">Chippeterson tries hard to come up with twenty... A bomb that "satirizes liberalism" like Mallard Fillmore satirizes Democrats, any movie (Apollo 13, Signs, Dawn of the Dead (2004)) that he can try to find a conservative message somewhere in it, and missing some obvious titles. Note: Forest Gump is now a Greatest Conservative Movie. [http://www.conservapedia.com/Talk:Essay:Greatest_Conservative_Movies#Forrest_Gump National Review is clueless. Forrest Gump, featuring liberal Tom Hanks, is liberal claptrap.--Aschlafly 21:19, 19 July 2007] and should be removed there too.

<votecp poll=wigo2897 closed="yes">Credit where due: Andy makes a funny. <votecp poll=wigo2896 closed="yes">The neophyte might think that Jpatt was trying to be funny here. <votecp poll=wigo2895 closed="yes">Parodist exposed: Father Joseph, supposedly having been a priest since 1949, states that he has said "very few" Latin masses on account of Vatican II. Andy calls him on it. And laughs his Schlafly laugh at him! <votecp poll=wigo2894 closed="yes">Andy pleads for someone to out him as a closet liberal. <votecp poll=wigo2893 closed="yes">A long-serving conservative lib-burr-rul Democratic congressman announces that he is retiring to spend more time with his family. But Andy has it from a very reliable source that this is "liberal claptrap" and that the man is simply afraid he'll be voted out of office. <votecp poll=wigo2892 closed="yes">Uh, Ed, you're editing a Wiki here, not programming a database. <votecp poll=wigo2891 closed="yes">New study: More Democrats than Republicans believe in ghosts. On the other hand more Republicans than Democrats believe in a certain holy ghost who burped the world into existence 6,000 years ago, but this escapes mention. BONUS: 🇰🇪 chimes in: Only people who are gullible enough to believe in evolution would believe in ghosts! <votecp poll=wigo2890 closed="yes">Another weakly toon. Sigh... <votecp poll=wigo2889 closed="yes">It's Andy Insight Time: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Colbert_Report_Viewers&curid=97615&diff=732800&oldid=732757 Reading the Bible is like a diet. It must be done daily. Not reading the Bible is censoring it.] Update: Andy hasn't caught on how funny this is to us: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Colbert_Report_Viewers&curid=97615&diff=732862&oldid=732827 You're in denial that not devoting 5% of your time to the Bible is censoring it. You also deny Hell exists.] [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Liberal_denial&curid=53486&diff=732867&oldid=729373 See? They're examples of liberal deceit!] <votecp poll=wigo2888 closed="yes">How To Be a Prick 101, in a play of five acts. User: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk%3AAschlafly&diff=728330&oldid=728221 This site seems more biased and less honest than Wikipedia. Any thoughts?]

Andy: You're a liberal who hates the truth.

User: This is what I expected based on edits here...

Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Aschlafly&diff=728896&oldid=728874 You just want to censor classroom prayer! Would you like it if liberals were never allowed to speak in public?]

User: You're creating straw men instead of discussing the bias and dishonesty here.

Andy: How about we allow liberals to have thoughts in school but never speak?

User: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Aschlafly&diff=732773&oldid=732659 I would have replied earlier, but I got banned. Andy, you never addressed my concerns.]

Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Aschlafly&diff=732776&oldid=732773 Hah! You made a typo! And how about you make some edits here before I bother responding?]

User: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Aschlafly&diff=next&oldid=732776 What I would want to edit is locked. I don't want to just talk, talk, talk, but what can be done?]

Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Aschlafly&diff=next&oldid=732791 The typo was intentional. You're closed-minded. Until you open your mind, I will ignore you.]

User: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Aschlafly&diff=next&oldid=732797 You lack an open mind, insult me, and refuse to discuss my original statements. If you want contributions, stop locking pages.]

User: P.S. Don't you censor by blocking people from contributing here?

Andy: Yes I do. Godspeed.

<votecp poll=wigo2887 closed="yes">Great new philosophy from Andy: "politics transcends all categories and all disciplines." <votecp poll=wigo2886 closed="yes">Bert, rightly skeptical that any actual minister would ever use Conservapedia's translation of the Bible, subtly asks for some verification that the good father is who he claims to be. However, after being given a specific answer, but one difficult to verify, Bert is clearly still uncertain of this parodist, and administers in his typical incoherent, rambling fashion, his own version of an Uncle Ed writing assignment. <votecp poll=wigo2885 closed="yes">Benp points out that the phrase "Thank you Conservapedia" yields nearly 900 google hits, stating that's pretty good for such a small wiki. It would be, if the number weren't actually 32 unique hits all of them sarcastic (except the first, which was the talk page discussion in which the search was brought up), the ninth being an unmentionable vandal site. <votecp poll=wigo2884 closed="yes">Andy: What?! There's nothing illogical about a talking bush. <votecp poll=wigo2883 closed="yes">Except, Andy, no one is basing their worldviews off eyewitness accounts from yesterday. If people dismissed science, other religions, politics, economics, and other aspects of reality based on eyewitness accounts, then you'd have a point.

<votecp poll=wigo2882 closed="yes">Geo.plrd deletes "Template:Stub" for being "stupid." Two weeks later, over 800 pages still have a red link to the template at the top. <votecp poll=wigo2881 closed="yes">Ed Poor defines science. Goto 10: Andy, why don't liberals agree with us on science? Come see my ideas, let me know what you think. <votecp poll=wigo2880 closed="yes">DouglasA: Denying that the Tower of Babel's destruction created the world languages is spreading evolutionist lies. Remember that DouglasA hates rudeness. <votecp poll=wigo2879 closed="yes">The Riverfront Times: "Colbert, as he is wont to do to his more loony GOP guests, mocked Schlafy mercilessly. And it was awesome." Andy, gleeful: " My Conservapedia's interview on the Colbert Report has been called a banner moment in Comedy Central history!"

<votecp poll=wigo2878 closed="yes">WTF Andy? Tighten that tin foil hat of yours. Do you really mean to say that spending less than 5% of your life reading the Bible (equal to approximately 4 years of nonstop reading) is censorship? <votecp poll=wigo2877 closed="yes">Andy: "Liberal deceit has suspended the Copenhagen talks!" Reality: African nations walk out due to issues of richer nations demanding more money of poorer nations, and fears that the Kyoto Protocol will be overturned. <votecp poll=wigo2876 closed="yes">Conservapedia is sane, no straight-jackets (sic) needed — December 9: Keynesian economic policies are destroying America! Conservapedia, December 13: Keynesian ideas form the basis of modern economics! <votecp poll=wigo2875 closed="yes">🇰🇪, the Austrian School economist. <votecp poll=wigo2874 closed="yes">Andy wonders why Wikipedia doesn't mindlessly repeat everything he says about abortion. <votecp poll=wigo2873 closed="yes">User: Why not confirm accounts individually? Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Main_Page&diff=next&oldid=730683 That would compromise our mission of full and easy public access and contributions, as summarized in this page I created about myself. Godspeed!] <votecp poll=wigo2872 closed="yes">Andy: Editorializing in mainspace about how Mormons are not True Christians is Wikipedia style. <votecp poll=wigo2871 closed="yes">It is an "evolutionist lie" to point out that brothers share more than 50% of their genes. <votecp poll=wigo2870 closed="yes">The best example of Andy's Law since "Muslims don't dance": "An intelligent designer is not constrained by an idiotic straight-jacket of consistency." <votecp poll=wigo2869 closed="yes">Andy gives us a link to a professor damning his "translation" of the Bible. The professor "James F. McGrath is an associate professor of religion at Butler University in Indianapolis". Andy:  "His one-sided article illustrates why liberals should no longer be trusted to translate the Bible in secret." Those professor values get everywhere, don't they? UPDATE: Andy realizes that he is getting too close to a libel suit. <votecp poll=wigo2868 closed="yes">Andy: Wikipedia's math articles "merely try to show off." (For completeness, note that Wikipedia is an encyclopedia and a repository of knowledge. The learning resource is Wikiversity.) <votecp poll=wigo2867 closed="yes">DWiggins: Andy, your anecdotal global warming evidence is bunk. Andy: Global warming is an unfalsifiable lib-burr-rul theory and is not science. DWiggins: I'm just saying you're giving bad evidence. Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Main_Page&diff=729615&oldid=729579 Be more logical. Reading the Bible would help.] DWiggins: This is about climatology, not theology. BMcP: DWiggins isn't arguing for global warming. Andy, starting to splutter: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Main_Page&diff=729687&oldid=729666 You're going against logic now. You have free will to be illogical.] DWiggins: Learn some statistics, Andy. Andy winds up the psychological projection knob: DWiggins, you're babbling nonsense in defense of proven fraudsters who irrationally refuse to read the Bible. GRAND FINALE: User is "Politely removed" from site. <votecp poll=wigo2866 closed="yes">Andy is sore because the SAT II asks a question about "one of the homosexual movement's favorite pop artists." DouglasA: Tellmewhoitisandycomeonpleasepleaseplease! Andy: Does the name "Andy Schlafly Warhol" ring a bell? <votecp poll=wigo2865 closed="yes">User: Can we use the dictionary definition of "liberal"? Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Liberal&curid=6745&diff=729429&oldid=729417 The dictionary definition is false. Liberals are people who favor taxpayer-funded abortion, censorship of classroom prayer, and just about anything that is anti-Christian.] <votecp poll=wigo2864 closed="yes">Karajou thinks people in 1491 held the earth to be flat. A user sets him straight and is duly rewarded.. But Andy himself disagrees. <votecp poll=wigo2863 closed="yes">User: Andy, how many of your students did well on AP history? Andy (four minutes later after some serious research): All of them. <votecp poll=wigo2862 closed="yes">User: Andy, I work in a scientific field and I've never met a biologist who denies evolution. Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Colbert_Report_Viewers&curid=97615&diff=729187&oldid=729182 You need to get out more, then. And I bet you don't read the most logical book ever, the Bible.] <votecp poll=wigo2861 closed="yes">User: Hitler twisted both evolution and Christianity. Andy: Do you deny that Josef Mengele was an evolutionist? <votecp poll=wigo2860 closed="yes">Andy: "Logic prevails. That's why the American voters continue to move to the right." Andy apparently missed the last two elections. <votecp poll=wigo2859 closed="yes">Bert is thankful that Conservapedia censors opposing views while embracing crazy far-right ideology without a need for citations. <votecp poll=wigo2858 closed="yes">Andy: Wikipedia is asic like a 3rd grade essay contest that gives points for more words. Psychological projection much? Furthermore, Wikipedia is an encyclopedia without lectures and model answers. Who ever heard of such a thing? This just in: Wikipedia has never helped a student like Conservapedia has! If only there were evidence... <votecp poll=wigo2857 closed="yes">: Obama's Nobel Peace Prize is a sloppy wet kiss from socialists. A greater man would've turned it down. BMcP: Uh, Jinx, the only man who ever turned the prize down was a Red. Colbert viewer: Andy, your blog is more biased than Wikipedia. Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Aschlafly&diff=728486&oldid=728468 We shock liberals with startling new information at which they pretend to be offended. That's how they argue for censoring school prayer.] Colbert viewer: I wasn't surprised, and prayer wasn't censored in my public high school. Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Aschlafly&diff=728896&oldid=728874 You must support censoring conservative speech. Let's banhammer liberals allow liberals only to "silently" express themselves in a moment of silence for them.] <votecp poll=wigo2855 closed="yes">Ed apparently missed Andy's memo about there being no conservatives in Europe at all, let alone on the university faculties there. <votecp poll=wigo2854 closed="yes">Jpatt: Jimmy Carter is a "racist Jew-basher". <votecp poll=wigo2853 closed="yes">Stephen Colbert has taught Jpatt some fancy new words. <votecp poll=wigo2852 closed="yes">It seems that Andy has no hard feelings toward Colbert What was that again about liberal friendship, Andy?

<votecp poll=wigo2851 closed="yes">And the site has crashed. Colbert Nation must have been a bit too much... <votecp poll=wigo2850 closed="yes">The first of the Colbert visitors is blocked politely removed.

<votecp poll=wigo2849 closed="yes">Andy on his Conservapedia's upcoming Colbert Report appearance: Hopefully we won't have to explain what the Bible is! Stephen Colbert teaches Sunday school. Tonight, who will be schooling whom? <votecp poll=wigo2848 closed="yes">The weeks get shorter and the toons get weaker.UPDATE:and weaker <votecp poll=wigo2847 closed="yes">Economics student: The answer is 1000 divided by 1.12. Andy: Incorrect. The answer is actually 1000 divided by 1.12. The next day: Andy: "I don't why I mis-graded this the first time." [sic]

<votecp poll=wigo2846 closed="yes">Andy is going to be on the Colbert Report. <votecp poll=wigo2845 closed="yes">Andy arms his troops with hollow-point soundbites for the upcoming Conservapedia media onslaught. In other news, Andy sits nervously by the phone waiting for Rupert Murdoch's purchase offer.

<votecp poll=wigo2844 closed="yes">The weakest of the weakly toons so far Although quim-free this time!

<votecp poll=wigo2843 closed="yes">Bert adds his rejected Chick tract script to Conservapedia. <votecp poll=wigo2842 closed="yes">Parodist: I am a pastor, and I will use your conservative Bible to lead my flock. Andy: You will have the honour to be the first of the "not unexpected" many!

<votecp poll=wigo2840 closed="yes">"It was intended that when Newspeak had been adopted once and for all and Oldspeak forgotten, a heretical thought—that is, a thought diverging from the principles of Ingsoc—should be literally unthinkable, at least so far as thought is dependent on words." <votecp poll=wigo2841 closed="yes">TK: This is an encyclopedia, dammit, so we don't have to explain our viewpoints to you dirty liberals! UPDATE: Block of Infinite ain't enough...INFINITE x2! <votecp poll=wigo2839 closed="yes">Ed, whose brain is obviously stuck circa 1991, makes a stub with more red links than actual text.

<votecp poll=wigo2838 closed="yes">Andy gets help from an unlikely source. It's sad how wrong they are. <votecp poll=wigo2837 closed="yes">Jesus taketh the stretcher, perceiveth the closed-mindedness, and reason is a synonym for doubt. He doth decree it. <votecp poll=wigo2836 closed="yes">Andy: We here at CP embrace "open minds" and "free speech," just don't use them here.