Homosexual agenda



YOU — "But why do you convene, what do you do?" SMOKER ON THE BALCONY — "Oh we're ambitious, we want to destroy the last vestiges of meaning, the last things people in Revachol have to hold on to, the true symbols of security the meaning of man and woman, mother and father, their marriage." "Everything will be constantly shifting and moving under our rule, the future will belong to a circus of identities, just spinning around, surreal and unreal... You won't even know who you are anymore." You place the Bible in every hotel room, hold signs up on street corners, have churches on nearly every corner, insist "God" be on money and knock on the doors of strangers to spread the good word. Tell me again about the gay agenda.

The homosexual agenda (sometimes gay agenda) is a homophobic conspiracy theory originally created by the Religious Right in the United States, which alleges that homosexuals are trying to infiltrate and corrupt all of our precious bodily fluids every facet of traditional American culture, most notably: family values. The primary purpose of this claim is to give the LGBT rights movement a shady and vicious (yet fictional) purpose (usually rooted in anti-Christianity, anti-Islam, and/or pro-communist conspiracies) and to keep it dehumanized, because the faceless "agenda" is much easier to convince fence-sitters to stand against than the individuals seeking basic civil rights themselves.

Those who believe in the homosexual agenda often cite Michael Swift's satirical essay, "Gay Revolutionary," as evidence for their views. In doing so, they generally omit the first line, which reads: "This essay is an outré, madness, a tragic, cruel fantasy, an eruption of inner rage, on how the oppressed desperately dream of being the oppressor."

Brokeback Mountain is also apparently a centerpiece of the agenda, being a clever propaganda piece by which Hollywood can brainwash unsuspecting red-blooded Americans into going along with the homosexual agenda!

Exposing their fabulous plot
You see mysterious strangers in the night. Leaning against unlit doorways, engaged in hushed conversation. A shadowy cabal exchanging looks, whispering in dark alleys and unmarked locales. A radical cell conspiring against the state — and perhaps even against man and woman. Was that a secret handshake? What’s going on? Who are these secretive people? How will they accomplish their sinister and world-altering goals? According to The Christian Post, the homosexual agenda consists of:

To others, this might be known as "being treated like a human being" — the horror!

Use of this term may indicate paranoia, a persecution complex, and an obsession with everything gay.

Stealing our rainbows!
Rainbow: Sign of the Covenant with Noe. Its 7 colors (from the top down: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet) recall the 7 Sacraments (7 is the sign of Covenant and completion). In St. John's vision of Heaven, a rainbow makes an appearance – over the head of the angel who gives John a book to eat (ch. 10), and surroudning [sic] the throne of God.

Everyone's favorite nutjob, Scott Lively, created a video trying to reclaim the rainbow as a Christian symbol, in a delightful little ditty, The Rainbow Belongs to God, which goes: "Who is the one that dares to defy God's covenant truth with lies?" Answer: The Gays™ and the gay agenda.

In schools
If you pay tuition, you're sponsoring the militant homosexual agenda. If you pay taxes, you're sponsoring the militant homosexual agenda. If your child majors in English, you're sponsoring the militant homosexual agenda. Tell Billy to major in math.

Some modern and fundamentalist conservative movements, particularly in America, believe that public schools are "indoctrinating" students to promote, convert to, or generally accept homosexuality as "normal". This view has become more prominent towards the end of the 20th century following the sexual revolution of the 1960s, after which homosexuals became more accepted by mainstream society. However, the evidence to support the claim that homosexuals are trying to convert students (let alone the existence of an ideological justification for doing so) is scarce non-existent. This idea is largely a result of the growing acceptance towards homosexuality by mainstream society, as well as schools teaching about homosexuality. However, the teaching about homosexuality has been interpreted by anti-LGBT groups as an attempt to convert and indoctrinate, rather than educate.

This idea has frequently been rehashed by notable right-wing politicians in recent years by claiming that schools have been providing litter boxes in their bathrooms to accommodate students that identify as furries or non-humans to serve as a scapegoat and slippery slope to justify their large-scale attacks on the rights of transgender people and the larger LGBT community by proxy.

While there has been a noticeable lack of teaching gayness in schools, there has been a statistical spike in scared, closeted LGBTQ kids committing suicide, to the point where former US President Barack Obama made a YouTube video about it. Evangelicals responded by saying their kids were bullied first by the kid "being gay" at school.

Homosexual recruitment


They want you! They want you! They want you as a new recruit!

As a mother, I know that homosexuals cannot biologically reproduce children; therefore, they must recruit our children.

Homosexual recruitment is the working title of a conspiratorial moral panic spun into existence by some rather creepy wingnuts. It posits that there is a concerted effort by the gay population to place large numbers of gay teachers in schools. Then, drawing from their idea that homosexual tendencies are acquired in youth, it then goes on to claim that said gay teachers are trying to seduce children and turn them gay. Among proponents of the theory, homosexual recruitment is typically considered part (and likewise indicative) of a larger homosexual agenda. Various wingnuts have also found homosexual recruitment lurking in a number of other areas as well. Pat Robertson, for example, "discovered" that feminism is actually a front for turning women into lesbians. (along with socialists, pagans, and other sundry bogeymen)

It also draws on pseudo-psychological quackery regarding pedophilia. This form of bullshit posits the notion that gay men are all pedophiles and molest little boys. They allegedly practice this molestation because they know that such abuse will turn the children gay later in life; thus, the gay man "recruits" because he cannot reproduce. For this reason, fundamentalist wingnuts often support quack psychotherapies such as repressed or recovered memory therapy to find "proof" of child sexual abuse in gay people, and reparative therapy to "cure the gay".

This panic led to the in 1978, a proposition to ban not only gays, but also anyone who supported gay rights, from working in California public schools. However, even Ronald Reagan went against this measure, and it was defeated at the polls. Britain's infamous law was also passed into law, partly out of fear of gay "recruitment".

In 2013, the Russian government unanimously passed a law banning promotion of "homosexual behaviour among minors", which was met with protests in Russia and abroad. Proponents of this law try to claim that it is a complete coincidence that its passage was accompanied by a large spike in violence against Russia's LGBT population.

An earlier iteration of this conspiracy theory was referred to as "Homintern," a play on the Soviet Comintern. This theory posited that gays controlled the arts and media and used them for the purposes of propagandizing and recruitment. More recently, the term "Sexual Bolshevism" has been preferred by Metapedians (probably because "Homintern" was too subtle), although this phrase has its history in Weimar Germany.

Making our games gay
In 2022 a troll by the name of Mike Hawk uploaded a mod for the Windows release of  replacing the rainbow flag with the flag of the United States, along with the description "changes the stupid pride flags with american flags" [sic] in an apparent effort to sow controversy over the perceived gay agenda by the game's creators. The mod was taken down soon after, but not without outcry from some users who were butthurt by the ban; Nexus later stated "we are for inclusivity, we are for diversity. If we think someone is uploading a mod on our site with the intent to deliberately be against inclusivity and/or diversity then we will take action against it," also frankly advising users who disagreed with the ban to "move on". A similar announcement was also made by ModDB when a Twitter user informed the site that the flag modification was also mirrored on ModDB, which the site's moderators promptly removed.

The mod's removal did not keep edgelords and possible sockpuppets of the previously-banned troll from uploading similarly questionable if not outright inflammatory content on the site, however, as shitpost mods such as the so-called "Extra Progressive Pride Mod" was submitted by a presumed Mike Hawk sockpuppet (or a copycat account) which juxtaposes both the gay and transgender flag colours with the Nazi swastika, only for it to be deleted not long after for obvious reasons (along with a thinly-veiled mirror thereof by another troll ), as well as the Joe Rogan Podcast t-shirt texture mod which edits the Empire State University shirt into a sardonic design of Sonic the Hedgehog and Shadow kissing each other and "THE JOE ROGAN PODCAST" scrawled on the shirt, likely as a veiled reference to Rogan's homophobic views in an effort to dodge censorship by the site's moderators.

Perceived Agenda...

 * 8:00am - Wake up.
 * 8:30am - Go to gym lusting after locker-room genitals.
 * 12:30pm - Light a scented candle and moan over its lusciousness.
 * 1:30pm - Inspire schoolboys to be transgendered ballerinas.
 * 5:00pm - Take cocktail of AIDS pills.
 * 5:10pm - Take cocktail of ecstasy, xanax, oxycontin, and paint thinner.
 * 6:15pm - Glory hole.
 * 7:00pm - Send mixed signals with strange beard and ironic masculine clothes.
 * 7:30pm - Work in cliché fashion job making tons of money.
 * 8:00pm - Donate money to fake news.
 * 9:30pm - Fill hole in soul with gross unprotected gay-man-sex.
 * 11:10pm - Drag reluctant pregnant friend to abortion clinic.
 * 11:20pm - Send text message to secret ISIS boyfriend in Syria.

Actual Agenda

 * 8:00am - Wake up.
 * 8:30am - Go to work.
 * 9:00am - Work.
 * 12:30pm - Quick lunch with some workmates.
 * 1:30pm - Work some more.
 * 3:00pm - Buy groceries at the local market.
 * 5:30pm - Call parents for a bit.
 * 6:00pm - Make dinner for/with partner
 * 7:00pm - Eat.
 * 8:30pm - Watch episode of Grey's Anatomy.
 * 10:30pm - Go to bed.