Najib Razak

Dato' Sri Haji Mohammad Najib bin Tun Haji Abdul Razak (Jibby to his buddies) was the Prime Minister of Malaysia from 2009 to 2018.

His father was Malaysia's second Prime Minister and his uncle the third, and his path to Mordor the corridors of power was well mapped out by the age of 23 when he was first elected to the Malaysian parliament.

Jibby's reign was characterised by a series of high profile controversies.

Jail the opposition
He presided over the jailing of former colleague and political heavyweight on sodomy charges, a decision which prompted severe criticism and allegations of political interference in the judicial process from human rights organisations. Anwar was initially acquitted but the decision was then over-turned upon appeal.

In terms of the popular vote, Najib actually lost the 2013 Malaysian general election to Anwar with the latter securing 51% of the votes cast. However gerrymandering ensured that Najib's party secured 133 of the 222 parliamentary seats with only 47% of the national vote. . Only in Malaysia (or perhaps ) could 47% = 133 and 51% = 89.

Of submarines and C4
Whilst Jibby was defence minister in 2002, Malaysia purchased two French Scorpène submarines. There is a still-ongoing French corruption inquiry into this purchase with a focus on the payment of a 114 million Euro "commission" to Perimekar, a Malaysian company controlled by an aide of Razak's.

Related to the Scorpène affair was the assassination of a Mongolian woman,. Altantuyaa's remains were discovered in Malaysia in October 2006. Bizarrely, Altantuyaa had been blown up by C4 explosives and only DNA analysis could confirm the identity of her remains. A letter came to light that Altantuyaa was blackmailing Abdul Razak Baginda, the owner of Perimekar, to the tune of US$ 500,000 to keep quiet her knowledge of the Scorpène affair. . It was alleged that Jibby was both the former lover of Altantuyaa and introduced her to Abdul Razak Baginda but those allegations were later withdrawn.

In 2015, two elite military officers were eventually convicted of murdering Altantuyaa and both were previously assigned as bodyguards to Jibby's office. One has since claimed that he murdered Altantuyaa and then blew her up with C4 but was acting "under orders".

Also in 2015, former Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamed broke years of silence on the Scorpène/Altantuyaa affair and launched a vitriolic attack on Jibby: "People are asking who gave the orders. Apart from Najib dismissing the claims as rubbish, there was no investigation."

1MDB
In July 2015, the Wall Street Journal published a story alleging that MYR 2.672 billion had been channeled from 1MDB (a Malaysian government-owned, debt-ridden, investment vehicle) into Jibby's personal bank accounts. Jibby has denied any wrongdoing and has announced plans to sue the newspaper for libel (but has conspicuously not yet done so). The same newspaper later released a batch of partially redacted documents that purportedly show the detail of how this money found its eventual home in Jibby's personal bank accounts.

The fallout from this affair was substantial. The Malaysian Deputy Prime Minister was fired for mildly suggesting that Jibby might find it advantageous to speed up his response to the Wall Street Journal allegations.

And then, in an affair which became eerily reminiscent of the Night of the Long Knives, the Attorney General and a series of other senior officials were also fired. Just a few days after this, it was reported that the dismissed AG was about to present an arrest warrant for Jibby, and an alleged draft of that warrant was unearthed. To the delight of conspiracy theorists the world over, this all coincided with a fire at police headquarters in Kuala Lumpur. Befitting an affair which had become a veritable clown show of mismanagement, Jibby continued to contend that the alleged draft warrant was forged while his officials ran around trying to find people to arrest for leaking it. After the purge of officials, and some four weeks after the initial Wall Street Journal allegations, Jibby announced that the huge funds which arrived in his personal bank accounts were in fact a political donation from an unnamed benefactor.

An increasingly desperate sounding Jibby made a crude populist (and more than a little racist) appeal to a crowd of the already converted when shouting in reference to the 1MDB scandal: "Ladies and gentlemen, I cannot allow this to continue. I cannot allow the white people to determine our future.” It's the whites I tell ya, the whites.

The whole shabby affair took a new twist in August 2015 when one of Jibby's lieutenants claimed that the RM 2.6 billion donation came from Saudi Arabia as thanks for fighting ISIS and that since the donations were made to the Jib-man personally as opposed to his political party, the funds were deposited into his personal accounts. All of this despite Jibby indicating he was somewhat smitten by the brave fellows at ISIS as recently as June 2014: "... the group ISIL with the strength of just 1,300 people, can defeat an Iraqi army of 30,000 soldiers, until four, five generals with three, four stars run for their lives, jump out the window at night. Why? Because they are afraid of those who are brave".

Family values
Jibby's second (and currently intact) marriage is to Imelda Marcos, a favourite subject of the Malaysian blogosphere. Her alleged love of over-priced vulgarity designer handbags, jewellery and frocks has become legendary.

Despite Malaysia not being a republic, Rosmah assumed the title of Lady Macbeth First Lady of Malaysia, and a whole new government unit was created within hubby's department with the acronym F.L.O.M. (yes, seriously, FLOM).

Rosmah's credentials as a warm and fluffy social commentator were enhanced enormously by her proclamation that Japan's earthquake/tsunami disaster in 2011 was a result of negligence in addressing environmental-friendly developments: "To me, this is a lesson to other countries, that in everything they do or in whatever development they plan, they should study the surrounding environment and connect it with climate change and green technology." There was though something of a green-FLOM failure when it was revealed that Rosmah and her FLOM-groupies entourage used a government-funded private jet for four days when visiting Qatar.