Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/March 2009

Andy gets so excited over a headline mentioning Obama, ACORN, and the census all together that he slaps it on the mainpage raw. Never mind that according to his cited source, all ACORN will do is encourage people to mail in their census forms so that the Census Bureau will not have to pay house calls... Extra: User: Actually, ACORN had employees that committed voter registration fraud, not election fraud. TK:[http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Main_Page&diff=next&oldid=649221 You are wrong, lib'rul. Final Warning to you!] User: ...but all the evidence, including factcheck.org say otherwise. Please show me the error of my ways with a source? TK: Ha! Don't you know that it is YOUR responsibility to find sources for my argument against yourself?! Conclusion: User appeals once more to rational thought, only to have TK remove the entire discussion with the edit summary, Get out of here with that Euro nonsense! TK continues being a Poe (and Andy refuses to acknowledge): [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk%3ALiberal&diff=648967&oldid=648958 Only those outside the US believe liberals are good people. Americans know liberals are evil!] Completely unrelated: TK, please learn not to separate the subject from the predicate with a comma! President Barack Obama spends all Sunday at the gym rather than Church! Unsourced, but he's so damn chiselled, it's probably true! Gentlemen, I bring you I can't wait to see which article will get this... KENDATE: More info! "Evolutionist ladies and gentlemen at a rather liberal website, Operation Hasenpfeffer will be sprung at time of my choosing. It will soon be time to flush that atheist/evolutionist rabbit out of his hole or have him shamefully burrow himself in deeper." Too many Bugs Bunny cartoons, 🇰🇪? New user: [http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:World_History_Lecture_Nine&diff=648291&oldid=648208 You have a couple of errors in your lecture. Can I help?] Andy: [http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:World_History_Lecture_Nine&diff=next&oldid=648291 If you think you're so smart, I dare you to take my exam! We don't like know-it-alls here, and I know you're wrong!] New user: I would do your exam if I thought you could give a good exam. 'Nother user: You're wrong, Andy. Andy: "I'd too see if either you could even score 50% on the World History Midterm Exam. Looks like both you won't dare display your real knowledge." New user: [http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:World_History_Lecture_Nine&diff=next&oldid=648328 Here you go. And here's some facts. And I'm still willing to help.] Aside: New user has decided to put facts into Andy's lectures... Will there be a ban brewing? TEACAKED: Banned! UPDATE: Block challenged! MOAR UPDATE: I'm sorry, did you say something? ANDEEEEE: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:World_History_Lecture_Nine&curid=32413&diff=649006&oldid=648811 He got second place in the exams. But he's still wrong!] Why won't the Brits just admit Andy's truth? And Prussia is still the former name of Germany. TK: unblock of JosephMac only six hours after TK dragged the discussion behind closed doors... and now, the former name of Germany is Waldeck. MORRRRRREEEEEE: Slap! BACK!!! [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:World_History_Lecture_Nine&curid=32413&diff=649269&oldid=649263 Mr. Schlafly, sorry I got banned. But many of us Brits have told you you're wrong. Allow me to edit your lectures now.] Countdown to ban... Ed reflects on his boot-licking of Andy and TK. Now he understands why he didn't regain adminship at WP. Same-sex marriage coming to Iowa is down to the Iowa Supreme Court overruling the will of the people. For some reason unknown to the rest of us, this makes the whole state lib-burr-ull. Ed continues creating one-sentence stubs of whatever pops into his head. Does this one contain a message from Ed's own subconscious mind?  &#9815; x &#9819; ! Andy refuses to give in.... You can't see it, but it's everywhere. It's as deadly as a lion and as stealthy as a snake. It promises to wreak untold, ghastly destruction. It's ... SOCIALIZED MEDICINE! (Now where have we heard this before?) Ed helpfully removes some gossip from the news column. The deletion of most of the news items there is expected to follow. Ed creates a fine new article...copied entirely from here. But he linked it at the bottom, so that's okay, right? Right? A user who would google the phrase "unintended consequences" on the internet machine would CLEARLY be looking for this article. My new favorite euphemism for sex, courtesy of CP: "addiction to unchastity." CP logic condensed into one sentence: "The individual examples are powerful and just as compelling as more-difficult-to-find statistics." Yeah, Andy! You forget those hard-to-find "facts!" What?! America interfered in Chile's politics? Ed can't have that! <vote poll=wigo1646 closed="yes" img="expanded">More unhinged antics from lulzmaster Ken. 🇰🇪 believes that Richard Dawkins has shown up on CP, calls his argument about the Boteach/Dawkins slight "Vandalism," then wants to know why the person he believes is Dawkins won't debate Boteach, because "Conservapedians would truly love to see Rabbi Boteach pummel you a second time in a public debate!" Calm down, 🇰🇪, and clean off your monitor; Dawkins doesn't care about CP, nor you. <vote poll=wigo1645 closed="yes" img="expanded">Ed Poor gives us a largely incomprehensible "thought of the day". It's something to do with Black Beauty I think... <vote poll=wigo1644 closed="yes" img="expanded">Joaquín Martínez posts a news item from, of all sources, Al Jazeera. <vote poll=wigo1643 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy seems a little confused... No more of that pro-life crap around here! Blocked! <vote poll=wigo1642 closed="yes" img="expanded">Gentlemen, I'll let you in on a secret... My plan all along is for CP's evolution article to be in the top ten of a Google search! Ole! Ole! Oh who gives a shit? <vote poll=wigo1641 closed="yes" img="expanded">TK once again proves Poe's Law with this gem: "Something that is a truism (Obama's terrorist sympathies) shouldn't have to have evidence." <vote poll=wigo1640 closed="yes" img="expanded">Really?....That's the only thing you think could be improved? <vote poll=wigo1639 closed="yes" img="expanded">CUR leaves a lame Parthian shot. Really lame. World+dog doesn't care. <vote poll=wigo1638 closed="yes" img="expanded">Ken, a good player never plays against himself, especially when the user is blocked. Did you take that as a resignation from the liberal opponent? <vote poll=wigo1637 closed="yes" img="expanded">[http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:World_History_Midterm_Exam&diff=prev&oldid=647143 Homeskollers never cheat! I mean, they could, since the answers are posted on a talk page where everybody goes, but why should they? They aren't evil LIEBRULES!] <vote poll=wigo1636 closed="yes" img="expanded">NEW WORD!!!! <vote poll=wigo1635 closed="yes" img="expanded">Karajou breaks an irony meter: Duh, them universities are dumb; they don't even know how to use these here electronic computers. UPDATE: Karajou retracts his earlier statement. They did it on purpose instead. <vote poll=wigo1634 closed="yes" img="expanded">Jpatt's Obama-boner becomes even harder: "Muslim agenda of the Obama administration" - Step One of The Muslim Agenda: Obama used his full name! <vote poll=wigo1633 closed="yes" img="expanded">Karajou is in a panic because Barney Frank wants the government to regulate your salary! Karajou didn't read his own link where it says the bill applies to companies that "have received a capital investment from the U.S. government", or, in other words, companies where the government has invested bailout money. <vote poll=wigo1632 closed="yes" img="expanded">Our man in the moon: Only Andy can falsify the unfalsifiable! BREAKING NEWS: An extremely rare occurrence: Andy concedes a point, albeit a "semantic" one. For extra fun, read the entire page where this issue has been brought up two years ago by various users... including Roger Schlafly! <vote poll=wigo1631 closed="yes" img="expanded">Go tell it on the mountain, that Andy has some Good News for us: Handguns are on the rise (in one small town in Minnesota, anyway). <vote poll=wigo1630 closed="yes" img="expanded">Ken deletes, then renews the cheetah article (probably to mess up our links), complete with parody content and an inane edit comment! GENTLEMEN! MOAR: TK restores the rest of the edits. <vote poll=wigo1629 closed="yes" img="expanded">It is anti-American for the government to keep newspapers afloat. But it is, of course, perfectly all right for the government to keep churches afloat. <vote poll=wigo1628 closed="yes" img="expanded">Jpatt: Conservapedia's parodists are obviously being bankrolled by, you guessed it, Barack ("Hussein") Obama. <vote poll=wigo1627 closed="yes" img="expanded">How could a collection of good, Christian nations fight each other during the Second First World War, asks Professor Teacher Andy? Evolutionists and that gosh-darned survival of the fittest, that's why! <vote poll=wigo1626 closed="yes" img="expanded">Just when you think that the bottle's empty there's always one more drop at the bottom. <vote poll=wigo1625 closed="yes" img="expanded">Ed Poor knows someone who knows the "leader of the Washington Times!" (Which makes sense, as the Times is owned by the Reverend Moon.) <vote poll=wigo1624 closed="yes" img="expanded">Acionyx jubatus my kitten drowning ass!. We don't need this Creationist crap here! <vote poll=wigo1623 closed="yes" img="expanded">Welcome to Bizarro-CP: Andy: "George W. Bush shouldn't be called a conservative." - Ed Poor: "Liberals don't deserve all the blame for something." <vote poll=wigo1622 closed="yes" img="expanded">Congratulations to homeschool instructor Andy Schlafly, whose managed to have two thirds of his class score a D or F (i.e. 30 or less correct out of 44) on his Bible Study World History Midterm exam. Money well spent, parents. <vote poll=wigo1621 closed="yes" img="expanded">The Schlafly way: "Ah thanks for your service, Lib'rul. Funny though, you must have decided to leave because my awesome midterm shows how awesome and superior conservative learning is." <vote poll=wigo1620 closed="yes" img="expanded">The quality of feedback from "Amateur-fessor" Andy: "Great score, 33 out of 37! But don't be optimistic, I grade the weaker students' papers first!" "Wait, no, 32. You had another mistake I didn't catch!" "Someone's scored higher than you!" "Nope, 31! Found another mistake you made." GOAT: How does he get 37 points, when the exam is 35 questions, with 9 honors questions and an extra credit question? Update the results are back and the winner got 42 out of 37. <vote poll=wigo1619 closed="yes" img="expanded">Hello new user! Goodbye! <vote poll=wigo1618 closed="yes" img="expanded">WesleyS runs for the hills. Andy's circle grows smaller by the day. <vote poll=wigo1617 closed="yes" img="expanded">Another educational and high quality entry! <vote poll=wigo1616 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy identifies the problem of "high word:substance ratio"... CP-speak: the only language in the world whose vocabulary gets smaller every year. Soon there will be only simple dichotomies and Big Brother's Andy's new Conservative words left. <vote poll=wigo1615 closed="yes" img="expanded">Discussing pro-abstinence, conservative VP candidate's unwed daughter's actual pregnancy = gossip. Discussing an unseen video of liberal VP's daughter allegedly using cocaine = Front Page News <vote poll=wigo1614 closed="yes" img="expanded">ThomasW expresses his amazement that anyone thinks TK is for real. Andy disagrees with the suggestion that he cannot tell people's motives with his claimed 95% accuracy. Thomas says the B word and gets banned, of course. <vote poll=wigo1613 closed="yes" img="expanded">Namby-pamby 'energy saving' is for FAGS!      Efficiency is an anti-American UN plot!. Pffft, Earth Hour is just an excuse for liberals to be lazy. <vote poll=wigo1612 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy tosses down the gauntlet to the dum librulz ... safe in the knowledge that they - and often their entire neighbourhoods - are permabanned from CP anyway. <vote poll=wigo1611 closed="yes" img="expanded">Dandy Andy tries for his own Edgar Award by clarifying pre-Christ Romans did not know absolute truth, not truth truth; and when did "regret" become so selfish? <vote poll=wigo1610 closed="yes" img="expanded">Yet another user quits Coservapedia. Will more follow? Will more RW users lern how to spel "Conservapedia" at least? <vote poll=wigo1609 closed="yes" img="expanded">TK proves the media is deceitful, by arguing that CNN, Time Magazine and the Los Angeles Times report the story. Where's the deceit? Apparently, the organization providing the figures is labeled "advancing women's reproductive rights." Bad media! Bad! <vote poll=wigo1608 closed="yes" img="expanded">Classic deranged Schlafly: Andy versus a good natured user, who is on the same side and agrees with Andy. How dare he make a friendly suggestion to add a link to a charity and not mention LIBRULS?! Contribute more! Liberal deceit! We won't have charities around here! Defeating liberals is more important than supporting charities! *BANNED!* <vote poll=wigo1607 closed="yes" img="expanded">"Conservapedia has more fans of its evolution article among YouTube video producers!" It certainly does.

<vote poll=wigo1605 closed="yes" img="expanded">Irony meters all over the world detect the powerful blast that occurred at Conservapedia. <vote poll=wigo1604 closed="yes" img="expanded">Another editor flees the toxic dump CP has become, leaving a a final note. This site is failing rapidly!

<vote poll=wigo1602 closed="yes" img="expanded">Another valid query with a misinformed response, followed by a block. <vote poll=wigo1601 closed="yes" img="expanded">PJR tells all! (Linked from here.) <vote poll=wigo1600 closed="yes" img="expanded">Probably, Andy. Because you don't know how many students are actually in your class, nor do you remember where you stopped your lecture. And you are the teacher. <vote poll=wigo1599 closed="yes" img="expanded">People "must be ready to defy the President when they disagree with his policies." Irony meters overload. UPDATE:Find the word "defy" that isn't a headline nor a commentary on CP's link. For ref. the complete text of Jindal's speech <vote poll=wigo1598 closed="yes" img="expanded">Ed: Mental health problems are a matter of choice. Now pull your socks up and stop acting so depressed! <vote poll=wigo1597 closed="yes" img="expanded">Ed: "We follow the Principle of Least Surprise here... and no surprise! here's the article". <vote poll=wigo1596 closed="yes" img="expanded">Please Sir, may I have some more ... block rights, so I too can torment the few editors we have left. <vote poll=wigo1595 closed="yes" img="expanded">China is part of Europe, according to DeanS. Did they move, or did Belgium launch a leveraged buyout? UPDATE Hello, Dean! <vote poll=wigo1594 closed="yes" img="expanded">CP takes issue with WP's "entry on 'Gun Politics in the United States' that falsely claims that 'Gun politics as a political issue dates to the earliest days of the United States.' To be fair, the 2nd Amendment is pretty far down to read. <vote poll=wigo1593 closed="yes" img="expanded">🇰🇪 and aSK: Q: Are you conservative at aSK? A: No! Q: Are you Ruylopez? A: I plead a grammatically awkward Fifth! UPDATE: Burnt. Ken sucks. MOAR: Screen cap of what Ken burned. MOAR! well, someone was bound to do it...

<vote poll=wigo1590 closed="yes" img="expanded">Bad Jessica! You don't fuck with 🇰🇪's SMEAR OF THE FOREVER! <vote poll=wigo1589 closed="yes" img="expanded">Monet can only be fully appreciated printed out on a laser printer from a (37kb!!) JPEG rather than on the wall in art museums. <vote poll=wigo1588 closed="yes" img="expanded">PJR starts his own wiki in response to all the crap he's received at CP. Is this the beginning of a long and beautiful fiendship? <vote poll=wigo1587 closed="yes" img="expanded">TK: Don't add things from Media Matters for America, since they're biased. Before adding negative comments, back them up! Glenn's own words, TK. <vote poll=wigo1586 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy the Linguist votes in "assimilate," out "me-too." But Andy, that word is from the 16th century, and "desired" may be pushing it. [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Essay:Best_New_Conservative_Words&diff=prev&oldid=644184 Twofer, "smoke and mirrors" is now a conservative word. Maybe?] <vote poll=wigo1585 closed="yes" img="expanded">Ed Poor, scientist: "Anyway, science is not about authority or polls: it's the search for cause and effect. A theory makes predictions. If the predictions don't come true, a true scientists (sic) junks the theory and starts over." Funny, that's not the Conservapedia way. <vote poll=wigo1584 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy somehow manages to dip a little further, claiming the English language is growing more conservative and so is the United States. Why is Obama president you ask? "Simple, actually I've made up another new term for it- it's smoke and mirrors!  Aren't I great?!" UPDATE:It just gets better: My list of less than 100 "words" most of which are actually phrases is undeniable proof that English is growing more conservative. <vote poll=wigo1583 closed="yes" img="expanded">TK shines again: "Good Christians are suddenly labeled 'right-wing' by the media! How dare they brand people like that? I mean, all they did was standing up against anti-Catholic leftists!" <vote poll=wigo1582 closed="yes" img="expanded">TK points out that "Many are thinking it is high time to remove the special rights the media is granted in the Constitution, because they have long ago forsworn their duty to the public." Like maybe, oh, I don't know... a Fairness Doctrine? MOAR: Lets just edit that silly old Constitution, huh? Its only four little words. <vote poll=wigo1581 closed="yes" img="expanded">According to TK, who manages to come up with two different spellings of Fannie Mae, both wrong, the fact Barney Frank's ex-lover ran a call boy service makes him ineligible to comment on the Supreme Court. (Oh, and Frank is about to turn <font size=-2>(hee-hee-hee) 69. We get the joke, TK.) <vote poll=wigo1580 closed="yes" img="expanded">Projection 101: TK lets loose: "Conservatives intrinsically reject Ad hominem," but liberals and atheists are moral relativists, Richard Dawkins is immoral and deceitful, and if you don't agree with TK, you're a deceitful person. All in the same short post, folks! <vote poll=wigo1579 closed="yes" img="expanded">Funny, you'd think that 'ol assfly wouldn't criticize his fellow idiots... <vote poll=wigo1578 closed="yes" img="expanded">Pepperlynn packs it in, with a succinct <vote poll=wigo1577 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy thinks the Associated Press use Conservapedia to do their factchecking. However, a careful reader might have inferred it from where it is clearly stated in the original article, which was posted at least four hours before Andy's claim. "Cody? Cody?". <vote poll=wigo1576 closed="yes" img="expanded">All in favor of kicking JM out of the Featured Article Committee for repeatedly moving the Featured Article under Ken's Article Of Eternity and the Masterpiece? Update(?): Knowing that Philip is gone and JM is working for him, Ken once again tests just how much he can get away with by also moving the Article Of The Year to the top. <vote poll=wigo1575 closed="yes" img="expanded">In life, you win some and you lose some, but it's always nice to know that Ed Poor can see the good side of everything. <vote poll=wigo1574 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy asks the hard-hitting questions...The Head of Special Olympics accepts Obama's apology, but did Obama apologize? No. The liberal bias of reality is alive and kicking. UPDATE: woo, Pepperlynn really understood Andy want concise answers. Moar: Pepperlynn also understood that it's better to leave on your own terms instead of waiting for the Goon Squad to kick in your door. Takes all the fun out of being a goon, doesn't it, JY23? <vote poll=wigo1573 closed="yes" img="expanded">Ed "Permaban for saying 'Your opinion sucks!' in jest" Poor catches somebody who said "to revert that moron's edits" and lays down the law: "May I edit your comment, Terry?" UPDATE Ok, I won't call that moron a moron, if you don't like it <vote poll=wigo1572 closed="yes" img="expanded">The racist vibes are true in this one. UPDATE For you the war is over, Yankee dog! <vote poll=wigo1571 closed="yes" img="expanded">Lord Voldemort works in concert with CP to catch vandals. <vote poll=wigo1570 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy turns Best New Conservative Words into a century by century footrace.

<vote poll=wigo1568 closed="yes" img="expanded">CP: We don't like none of them WORDS things in our arguments! If you have a point, quote verse; if you have something to hide, be technical! UPDATE: User blocked (TK IP insanity, apparently not because of this), and page burned. <vote poll=wigo1567 closed="yes" img="expanded">Youtube creationism nutter Venomfangx signs up for CP... and lasts 4 minutes. <vote poll=wigo1566 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy "The Dude" Schlafly to JoshuaZ: "You had potential, but atheism made you dumb." <vote poll=wigo1565 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy revisits his childhood. 0 in mental problems, indeed. <vote poll=wigo1564 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy's logic: If I do something, that means it's spreading like wildfire! <vote poll=wigo1563 closed="yes" img="expanded">Eugh! Science! <vote poll=wigo1562 closed="yes" img="expanded">TK: "Jefferson wrote that bit about the separation between Church and State only once, for crying out loud! That doesn't mean anything! The man likely didn't even mean it!" <vote poll=wigo1561 closed="yes" img="expanded">BREAKING NEWS: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Niccol%C3%B2_Machiavelli&diff=next&oldid=643049. Freezes. Over!] UPDATE Thaws, then re-freezes! <vote poll=wigo1560 closed="yes" img="expanded">Joaquín Martínez: Somehow this constitutes a "masterpiece." Conservapedia's standards must be slipping... <vote poll=wigo1559 closed="yes" img="expanded">Better late than never. Or maybe... not: December 28: A user asks for help/clarification. February 13: TK bans the user. March 21: TK is happy to help! <vote poll=wigo1558 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy admits he likes the British National Party, except where they're too liberal. This is what happens when you think education comes from pontificating before doing the requisite reading, even at your own blog. <vote poll=wigo1557 closed="yes" img="expanded">Corrupted by Hollywood Values: Ayn Rand? <vote poll=wigo1556 closed="yes" img="expanded">Ed "Math Teacher" Poor: "Obama was born in August 1961, now it's March 2009, so Obama is 48." - Andy "Obama lies about everything" Schlafly: "You're wrong, Obama is 47... according to his published birthday, at least..." <vote poll=wigo1555 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy quotes from this completely unbiased 'source' written by someone called 'Schlafly', even if he can't even spell the title properly <vote poll=wigo1554 closed="yes" img="expanded">Schlafly Skimming at its best: The Telegraph laughs at Conservapedia for "hav[ing] no time for reality's liberal bias." Andy, in his infinite illiteracy, brags about being in the news. UPDATE: "Conservative" and "UK" don't belong in the same sentence. <vote poll=wigo1553 closed="yes" img="expanded">PJR throws in the towel and decides to make a much-anticipated PJR Wiki. Will Andy beg him to stay, or wave goodbye to another librull? <vote poll=wigo1552 closed="yes" img="expanded">Apparently, steering away from incredible liberal sources and keeping it family-friendly doesn't apply when you're Ed Poor being creepy. <vote poll=wigo1551 closed="yes" img="expanded">...or just email me your phone number if you are. <vote poll=wigo1550 closed="yes" img="expanded">While Fred Phelps says, "Thank God for IEDs," Jpatt says, There are no IEDs. (Or any instability in Iraq, for that matter.) <vote poll=wigo1549 closed="yes" img="expanded">Ed Poor gets creepier and creepier. <vote poll=wigo1548 closed="yes" img="expanded">Mild jokes at a sysop's expense? We can't have that!UPDATE JY23 moves with the times and breaks off all ties. <vote poll=wigo1547 closed="yes" img="expanded">A bombardment of questions leaves ASchlafly with little choice but to curl up into a ball and roll away. EXTRA LULZ: The questioner (whom Andy told to "Contribute more, and more substantively") had already been banned. <vote poll=wigo1546 closed="yes" img="expanded">Foxtrot warns of T3H Eebil Librul Deseats! Bonus points for his assertation that "echo chambers" actually ARE a bad thing.

<vote poll=wigo1543 closed="yes" img="expanded">Jpatt pens a new masterpiece, because, after all, whatever opinion you write is true as long as you quote the Bible. <vote poll=wigo1542 closed="yes" img="expanded">"How different their example is from the Internet Trolls and vandals (they mentioned us on the telly!) most of us must interact with daily, who claim to be rational, yet seek to deny those who disagree with them (come talk to us here, idiots! We won't let cuR anyone block you!) the right to their own voice." Real subtle, TK; one would never guess to whom you are referring. <vote poll=wigo1541 closed="yes" img="expanded">The right-wingers are getting their knickers in a twist at the prospect of reinstituting the draft. Why? Because the inductees would be sent to help people rather than blow them up. <vote poll=wigo1540 closed="yes" img="expanded">Irony Meter ASPLODE! Andy explains the "mental problems" statement. Quoth the Assfly himself: "...Public school students have high percentages of mental problems. I doubt that's a coincidence, given what they are taught and told to repeat.  Free yourself from that here..." DIPSHIT. <vote poll=wigo1539 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy's newest historical insight: Galileo's house arrest was like the internment of Japanese Americans during the Second World War. <vote poll=wigo1538 closed="yes" img="expanded">Our favorite xenophobe's latest newsbite: Nancy Pelosi expresses an opinion about immigrants. This makes her guilty of disagreeing with him "endless liberal ignorance." <vote poll=wigo1537 closed="yes" img="expanded">ENorman leaves Conservapedia with a parthian shot, a threat regarding a high-level sock, and a friendly offer to some of Conservapedia's more moderate users.

<vote poll=wigo1535 closed="yes" img="expanded">According to Andy, the words "Good Samaritan" were not available to the translators of the King James Bible, not even when they wrote about the... er... good Samaritan? But at least now we know why the KJV didn't mention the War On Terror or the American Dream. <vote poll=wigo1534 closed="yes" img="expanded">CP's quest to erase any feeling of a community goes on: First, Ed declared that not everybody is an "editor", but rather a "contributor", and now Andy points out that even "contributor" is a title to be earned - all to defend his "Zero Mental Illnesses Among CP Contributors!" claim. <vote poll=wigo1533 closed="yes" img="expanded">Our obsession with homosexuality? You mean librul homosexual obsession? Sure, Foxtrot. You don't have any obsession with homosexuality at all. Nope, not at all <vote poll=wigo1532 closed="yes" img="expanded">Oh, sweet merciful crap -- Ken Conservapedia has launched a YouTube channel. UPDATE: Apparently, comments are now moderated. Surprise, surprise. <vote poll=wigo1531 closed="yes" img="expanded">Conservative consistency on the News page. TK complains that a low rate of condom use is contributing to an AIDS "epidemic" in D.C. Six items above, Dean reinterprets the Pope's statement that condoms are "not the answer" to mean that "Condoms 'Increase' AIDS Epidemic in Africa". <vote poll=wigo1530 closed="yes" img="expanded">How to be a douche, TK-style: 1) User raises concern 2) Let them know that you can see their personal info, so they don't try to raise concern again 3) Another user questions your move 4) Attack with "LIBERAL," "AD HOMINEM," "DECEIT," "MENTAL ILLNESS," "FRAUD," and anything else you can. 5) User concedes defeat 6) In an act of stupendous self-contradiction, deny that the user could have been mistaken and GODSPEED. MOAR: Accuse banned user of deceit for refusing to acknowledge they are wrong <vote poll=wigo1529 closed="yes" img="expanded">PJR claims that "NIV is not 'liberal'" - but surely, Philip, you admit that NIV is a disputed (and thus at least more liberal) translation since it only has 14 references to Hell, 35 references to the Devil, and watered down "Holy Ghost" to "Holy Spirit", right? <vote poll=wigo1528 closed="yes" img="expanded">Sourcing made easy: Ken re-uploads a and now gives Flickr as a source. Said Flickr photo was uploaded today by a completely new user and just happens to link back to his pet article. Hmmmmmmm... <vote poll=wigo1527 closed="yes" img="expanded">TK has obviously been taking Andy's history course. He claims entrepreneurship is a conservative value and blames the current economic downfall on Government "stifling it for dozens of years" Maybe he should be reminded who has been in charge for 20 of the last 28 years. <vote poll=wigo1526 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy confirms that "no Conservapedia contributors have mental problems!" <vote poll=wigo1525 closed="yes" img="expanded">TK breathlessly reports that Washington DC has higher Aids infection rates than West Africa, pointing out that black men are most likely to be infected, and that only 3 in 10 use condoms. TK blames the "liberal government," and not the previous administration that worked on the principle of "keep it in your pants." <vote poll=wigo1524 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy says 'its a scandal, its an outrage' that a man was arrested for trying to hand Bill Ayers a Bible and a copy of Atlas Shrugged. Without mentioning, of course, that the article he uses as a citation says the man fully intended to disrupt Ayers' speech, made a "rude gesture" involving his middle finger, resisted arrest, and had previously caused problems at every one of the 4 speeches by Ayers at the same institution. <vote poll=wigo1523 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy, again, makes up some utter bullshit and sells it as "CONSERVATIVE TRIUMPH!" <vote poll=wigo1522 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy - doing his best at "teaching". Bonus lulz for Andy stating that "two" is equal to "several". <vote poll=wigo1521 closed="yes" img="expanded">FredFerguson departs with a Parthian Shot and a warning for parents. JY23 preserves the best bits in Conservapedia's Museum of Good Sense. Fred gets blocked for use of an ad hominem argument. (Full text here) <vote poll=wigo1520 closed="yes" img="expanded">Following last week's standoff between RW and JessicaT, perhaps realising the hypocrisy of the situation (see WIGO's below) the kitten retracts her claws. Domou arigatou gozaimasu! <vote poll=wigo1519 closed="yes" img="expanded">Joaquín makes a proposal. Does he have anyone in mind? <vote poll=wigo1518 closed="yes" img="expanded">Conservapedia 101: make up the conclusion, then pick and choose the evidence Update: Explicitly approved by senior sysop TK. <vote poll=wigo1517 closed="yes" img="expanded">TK shows that perspective is everything as he grabs LArron's rangeblock summary table to demonstrate how CP only blocked 0.328% of the entire Internet: 10,513,786 IPs on a site with 28,132 users and 607,279 edits. "Proof of hysterical, deceit-filled caterwauling by vandal sites" indeed. <vote poll=wigo1516 closed="yes" img="expanded">TK (who regularly deletes his talkpage or has it deleted by request) forbids a user from nominating the user's own talkpage for deletion by reverting the request and then protecting the page. Oh, and then he bans the user for requesting this. And then deletes it anyway. <vote poll=wigo1515 closed="yes" img="expanded">The WHO reports that the British health care system is better than the U.S.'s? A liberal view, irrelevant and not credible. The lib-burr-rul New York Times, well known for being unable to tell a news article from a cowpat, digs up dirt on a Democrat? Flash it all over the main page. <vote poll=wigo1514 closed="yes" img="expanded">MikeSalter goes out in a blaze of glory. MOAR: He's not just a vandal, he's a traitor! <vote poll=wigo1513 closed="yes" img="expanded">Was this obvious enough? Perhaps not, but with our help, even TK has a slight chance to see the evidence. We'll miss him, another musician down. <vote poll=wigo1512 closed="yes" img="expanded">Jpatt is veering dangerously toward word salad territory. <vote poll=wigo1511 closed="yes" img="expanded">Karajou tries to lighten things up a bit. <vote poll=wigo1510 closed="yes" img="expanded">Is it doublethink or just plain idiocy? Jessica: "Members of vandal sites will be blocked." - Jimmy: "But... you're a member there, too, so you should also be blocked!" (*blocked*) - Jessica: "Nuh-uh! Only those who vandalize and brag will be blocked." - John: "So what about the guy who made no edits here and didn't brag there?" (*blocked*) - Jessica: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:JessicaT&diff=638293&oldid=638290 "He's a member of a vandal site! Guilty by association, duh!"] <vote poll=wigo1509 closed="yes" img="expanded">TK: Police union accuses Bill Ayers of murder. He does not bother to mention that, according to his own source, the accusation rests solely on the word of a confirmed wingnut who is affiliated with these people. <vote poll=wigo1508 closed="yes" img="expanded">Because you support A museum construction that brings in jobs, you're a liberal according to Saxplayer. <vote poll=wigo1507 closed="yes" img="expanded">UN diplomats in New York don't pay parking tickets? Outrageous! US diplomats in London don't pay parking tickets? [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk%3AMain_Page&diff=638226&oldid=638186 La la la la! I can't hear you!] Update: As always, TK wins the argument. <vote poll=wigo1506 closed="yes" img="expanded">No matter how hard parodists might try, they will never reach TK's level of creepiness/WTF: "The clock has been started, AndyJM. When you hear the bell, please don't ask for whom it is tolling. It will be tolling for you." The reason for the message: AndyJM didn't mind his own business. UPDATE! AndyJM jumps! To AndyJM: the communist liberal fascist trolls of RW invite you to join them in destroying all hope for humanity. Bring your own goat. THE END! banned (with several IP range blocks), burned, and salted! Damnatio Memoriae!

<vote poll=wigo1504 closed="yes" img="expanded"> Say it aint so! He must be one of them dangerous atheists! <vote poll=wigo1503 closed="yes" img="expanded">The Democrats are trying to attack Rush Limbaugh! How petty and stupid can you get? (It is, of course, perfectly all right for Mr. Limbaugh to attack Joe Biden by claiming he has an I.Q. of 32%, since when was I.Q. a percentage point, though?) <vote poll=wigo1502 closed="yes" img="expanded">Joaquín is either very clueless, or very cruel, but either way, it's a bit harsh to tell somebody to recreate their account, with account creation disabled. <vote poll=wigo1501 closed="yes" img="expanded">In-depth news analysis, Schlafly style: A man who dresses in black must be an atheist. Maybe Andy should double check his sources. UPDATE: This issue is raised; Andy responds, "Liberal denier! Intent does matter!" Someone should change the newsbite to read, "Wearing all black with anti-Christian intent is characteristic of anti-Christian belief systems." More, More: You dare to point out the hypocrisy of the great and powerful OZ Schlafly? Away you go! <vote poll=wigo1500 closed="yes" img="expanded"> The corruption of JessicaT begins. Blocks of TK, conservative, Iduan, Ed Poor, and CPalmer expected to follow (some help for you Jess). UPDATE! I found another one! MOAR: We still love you, Jess, but could you "un-TK" that post? <vote poll=wigo1499 closed="yes" img="expanded">Template:Pascal on depravity: Quick, who do you think came up with this one? I'll give you a hint: It's a two-sentence quotation linked from exactly one other article. If you guessed User #188, you're right! <vote poll=wigo1498 closed="yes" img="expanded">JM completely gives in to Ken's will and now also moves the Masterpiece under "Ken's Article of the Year" and "Article of However Damn Long I Wish". Update: So who is left to oppose the seemingly unstoppable force that is Ken? Why, the one truly unstoppable force on CP: TK! <vote poll=wigo1497 closed="yes" img="expanded">Obama's acting stupid when he unbans funding for embryonic stem cell research right after a major breakthrough with the adult ones. Conservapedia probably would have thought this of that stupid man who invented the light bulb right after a major breakthrough in gas lighting technology. <vote poll=wigo1496 closed="yes" img="expanded">Al Gore has the "closed-minded dogmatism of a religious zealot". Well, if there's one thing Andy knows... (Note his bolding for emphasis.) <vote poll=wigo1495 closed="yes" img="expanded">Per Andy, genocide didn't occur until the 20th Century Oh, really? Of course, Israelites killing every man, woman, and child in the city of Jericho wouldn't count, presumably because they didn't have any notion of "survival of the fittest", only "survival of the divinely favored". <vote poll=wigo1494 closed="yes" img="expanded">Psst! Andy! Want to know the real reason gun control would have been impossible in feudal times? They didn't have guns. <vote poll=wigo1493 closed="yes" img="expanded">FredFerguson fires off a logical answer to Andy's taunts. We know how this will end, right. MO': ArthurA has the audacity to present a fact from a book of facts. How will Andy respond to this incursion? MOAR: Andy has determined that CIA is part of the Government and therefore not a "Trusworthy" source unlike the FBI. He follows that up with something straight out of the quote generator <vote poll=wigo1492 closed="yes" img="expanded">Senior Sysop and Schlafly's right hand TK: "Oops! *giggle* I seem to have deleted the Main Page talkpage - again - and I don't know how to undelete it! Silly me! But it's not like anybody will miss the talk page history, anyway! Transparency!" <vote poll=wigo1491 closed="yes" img="expanded">Our Glorious Leader hard at work. Despite being busy writing his lectures, comrade Assfly still finds time to joke with one of his men and compliment him on that dissenter he executed last week. <vote poll=wigo1490 closed="yes" img="expanded">Following up on his declaration that opposing classroom prayer makes you Anti-Christian, Andy defines "moderate" as "someone who favors abortion and/or supports censorship of Christianity in some ways" <vote poll=wigo1489 closed="yes" img="expanded">Sorry, Ed, but in the few days between his post and your reply, your new best friend ShawnJ got banhammered by TK for complaining about his user page deletion. <vote poll=wigo1488 closed="yes" img="expanded">Ed Poor (aka Wikipedia User #188) creates a new article by copypasting a sentence from the organization's completely unbiased mission statement - and manages to get their name wrong on both occurrences. <vote poll=wigo1487 closed="yes" img="expanded">School textbooks are flawed and distort religion. By which DeanS obviously means that they don't conform to Conservapedia's exacting standards in these matters. <vote poll=wigo1486 closed="yes" img="expanded">Jpatt, waxing lyrical on the "strength's" of "school book curriculum," forgot to turn the grammar checker on. <vote poll=wigo1485 closed="yes" img="expanded">It's Andy Insight Time! We can never prove whether God exists or not. (Obviously Andy should read his own blog encyclopedia occasionally.) Also, atheists only exist because God was a dick and didn't reveal himself to them, and "real atheists" won't oppose classroom prayer.

<vote poll=wigo1483 closed="yes" img="expanded">TK: Admitting legal immigrants to the United States somehow constitutes levying War against them, or adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. Now if only we could find the people who let TK's forebears through and lock them up for treason... <vote poll=wigo1482 closed="yes" img="expanded">READ ALL ABOUT IT: OBAMA PREPARED TO ISSUE EXECUTIVE ORDER TO LIFT BAN ON FEDERAL FUNDING OF STEM CELL RESEARCH. Clearly Conservapedia is so excited about all the lives that could be saved with the new research, they wanted to shout it so loud that Bush could hear it all the way in Crawford! (and cry afterwards). <vote poll=wigo1481 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy: Kathleen Sebelius didn't show up at a health care summit (because she is still doing her job prior to confirmation), therefore Obama's pulling a fast one! <vote poll=wigo1480 closed="yes" img="expanded">Reason #832 why TK is Andy's favorite: TK: "ShawnJ, your userpage violates the 'You must only say positive things about CP and its sysops' commandment!" ShawnJ: "Dude, overkill much?" TK: "You're lucky that I didn't ban you! ...on second thought, that gave me an idea..." EXTRA LULZ: TK's comment, before blocking with email disabled, was "If you want to be unblocked, you can ask Andy to do so." In any case, Andy doesn't receive email. <vote poll=wigo1479 closed="yes" img="expanded">Well-documented statistics expert Andy Schlafly questions the statistical knowledge of Richard Lenski. <vote poll=wigo1478 closed="yes" img="expanded">Pointing out that Conservapedia lies, misquotes and is utterly clueless about material it posts on its Main Page with your well-cited evidence gets you absolutely nowhere. Of course. Plus ça change? <vote poll=wigo1477 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy: Obama's a dirty liar. He pledged transparency, but keeps his summit shrouded in secrecy Anyone could have missed the White House sponsored live blog and streaming video They were only linked from the main page of Whitehouse.gov Update: Hsmom points this out. (WIGO much?) Andy: Live streaming!? Maybe good enough for a libelous liberal, but I want MOAR! <vote poll=wigo1476 closed="yes" img="expanded">Irony or futility? <vote poll=wigo1475 closed="yes" img="expanded">Silly troll, CP doesn't want to hear your opinion, even though it's a debate! The answer "no" is unacceptable. <vote poll=wigo1474 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy doesn't want the US healthcare system to become as 'bad' as the UK's....that's right, the one that's ranked 19 places above the US by the WHO! <vote poll=wigo1473 closed="yes" img="expanded">Giving his best to prevent non-sysops from feeling like a part of CP, TK has decreed that only Higher Beings may actually vote on Featured Articles. The lower class can post on the talk page (where sysops can easily ignore them). <vote poll=wigo1472 closed="yes" img="expanded">Horsey DEAD? I beat it!!! Update: Hsmom realizes that she is now the sole voice of sanity on the Main Page talk page, to which TK says [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:TK&diff=634546&oldid=634347 "Too bad!" ] "I have sent you a very important message." Because the natural place to discuss on-wiki issues... is off-wiki. <vote poll=wigo1471 closed="yes" img="expanded">SJohnson pokes Andy. <vote poll=wigo1470 closed="yes" img="expanded">Jpatt tries to argue about the science...to say he gets it completely and humiliatingly wrong would be an understatement... <vote poll=wigo1469 closed="yes" img="expanded">Jpatt tries to link the Chinese year of the Ox with tax avoidance...and fails...who would have thought it <vote poll=wigo1468 closed="yes" img="expanded"> Do not think! Conform to the Lecture! Conservative Grading, perhaps? <vote poll=wigo1467 closed="yes" img="expanded">Professor Dandy Andy employs Conservapedian mathematics while grading Student 8's homework to prove that 60/70 = 100%. Or are boy answers worth more points than girl answers because girls are bad at math and won't recognize that they're getting shafted in the work = score department? <vote poll=wigo1466 closed="yes" img="expanded">Jpatt, in the midst of wikilinking almost every word in his newsbite that is an article title, links to an article about the wrong Duluth. <vote poll=wigo1465 closed="yes" img="expanded">🇰🇪 breaks out the thesaurus and takes 14 edits playing with the big words. <vote poll=wigo1464 closed="yes" img="expanded">🇰🇪 wonders if God is popular at CP.. Nahhh! Well fine, he is.. he's even more popular than homosexuality! (and we all know how 🇰🇪 loooves his homosexuality). <vote poll=wigo1463 closed="yes" img="expanded">Meet Sjay, spin doctor for college dropout Sean Hannity and against college-educated Jimmy Wales. <vote poll=wigo1462 closed="yes" img="expanded">What took you, TK? After making a few too many rational edits to "Global Warming", RobertWDP gets a 1-month block for "adding Euro-Socialist group think to this encyclopedia." UPDATE: Your talk page is your castle unless TK decides otherwise. <vote poll=wigo1461 closed="yes" img="expanded">TK seems to be about to deep-burn some comments about whether edits to Conservapedia constitute a violation of federal law 18 USC 1030. There's been quite a dust-up on the Commandments talk page about this issue, and it may become the next FBI incident. The burned material has been saved here. UPDATE: PJR has restored it. PJR, you know that TK has de-sysop'ed more powerful people than yourself, don't you? There's MOER: TK reverts PJR's reversion. - EDIT WAR? MOAR: Hsmom joins in. <vote poll=wigo1460 closed="yes" img="expanded">Jpatt: "Dear Robert, you are obviously not aware that our Global Warming page is really the Anti-Global Warming page, so please stop inserting inconvenient facts into it. However, you can create an Anti-Anti-Global Warming page." <vote poll=wigo1459 closed="yes" img="expanded">March 1: The day JM became Ken's bitch and moved the community's (sort of) "Weekly Featured Article" under Ken's "Article of the Year" and "Article of However Long I Want". <vote poll=wigo1458 closed="yes" img="expanded">After Ed Poor opens a comment with a vague criticism of Dear Leader, TK decides that new user Umlaut wrote it, and makes a thinly-veiled threat to ban him in the same edit. Update: One comment later, the guy gets a 3 month block despite PJR's best efforts. Update of Doom: TK removes Ieuan's analysis and then declares the discussion to be over by archiving the rest of the page, leaving nothing behind. Mandatory update: Wheel War with quality edit comments like "the comments were removed because they were trolling, and offered by a non lawyer on a technical matter, so therefore gibberish". A cookie to the brave soul who tells Andy that during the next Lenski Incident. <vote poll=wigo1457 closed="yes" img="expanded">Etiquette Guideline: "If in doubt, discuss before editing! 90/10 Rule: "Discussing is talking; talking is bad!" So does it really surprise anybody that you can get a 90/10 ban for pointing out flaws of Ken's pet article? <vote poll=wigo1456 closed="yes" img="expanded">TK shows his community-building skills: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:TK&diff=633148&oldid=633131 "Oh noes! People are trying to participate! How can we fix that?"] <vote poll=wigo1455 closed="yes" img="expanded">We found a witch! May we burn her? <vote poll=wigo1454 closed="yes" img="expanded">Andy fixes liberal placement bias - which was introduced by liberal... Ed Poor?