User:Javascap/Rant 2

Background: Last year I was in a debate club, and I challanged one member to a debate on global warming, which he frequently brushed off as a "hoax". What followed was a complete and epic pwnage, one that, rereading the transcript, I could not help but repost. Enjoy! =)

Essay #2, my Verbal Pwnage of a Global Warming Denier

Javascap: Look, whether we like it or not, global temperatures are rising at a rate that should be every bit as alarming as Enron's profits were. Global warming has, in recent years, become more than just an enviromental issue. It has, recently, become a political issue, a moral issue, a social issue, and with the upcoming weather changes, it just might become a fashion issue.

Jason: Right off the bat, there is no conclusive evidence global warming is occuring at all. Global temperatures have gone up a measley one degree, and frankly, the air temperature outside went up by around 10 degrees today. 1 degree is nothing to worry about.

Javascap: True, the air temperatures went up 10 degrees today, but what you failed to consider is the effect of that 1 degree average global temperature. Under the watch of that single degree, glaciers are melting, hurricanes are getting stronger, and global rainfall patterns are shifting...

Jason (cuts me off): All of which are natural climate variations, hurricanes have gotten stronger, and then they have gotten weaker, rainfall has shifted before, and here in North America, we are not covered in glaciers.

Javascap: And that noticiable absence of Glaciers was caused by a six degree rise in temperature. Think about it, six degrees average was enough to melt away a mile thick glacier. What would prevent a single degree from melting away mountain glaciers and ice caps?

Jason: The glaciers are not melting, they are spreading further...

Javascap (me cuts Jason off): They are not spreading. If you can find an honest source not funded by oil coorporations to back that claim up, then I might consider buying that fact. Untill then, how about you go to a neutral scientific organisation and look at what is happening to ice all around the world.

Jason: I do not buy facts from "Neutral" scientific organisations involved in a conspiriacy to benefit from something that does not exist.

Javascap: But yet you buy facts from oil coorporations who profit from denying something that is happening.

Jason: (long pause) Oil companies have nothing to do with this.

Javascap: Sadly, oil companies have almost everything to do with global warming. Between them and automobiles, we can play "pin the tail on the donkey" as much as we want.

Jason: I have read plenty of research from groups that have found minimal evidence for global warming.

Javascap: That is very interisting. Would you care to name one organisation that isn't funded by the companies we just discussed?

Jason: Erm... (long silence)

Javascap: To be extremly frank, not one legitimate scientific organisation disputes the fact that global warming is occuring. The only "Scientific Groups" that dispute global warming are the "biosintutes" funded by companies to say up is down, black is white, and SUV fumes are fun to inhale.

Jason: (speechless, 30 second pause)

Javascap: Well... is there anything you are trying to say, or are you willing to concede your complete lack of reality-based facts and information?

Jason: There is still one huge problem you run into trying to pretend global warming is a problem. Temperatures are increasing only by a tiny fraction each year, not to mention the earth is 4.5 billion years old, and we humans have only had an enviromental impact for the last 100 years, so we can't be doing anything. Also, Ozone is a greenhouse gas, and it has decreased. This more than makes up for the carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Plus, more carbon dioxide (Note: Prepare to slam your head on the keyboard!) is a good thing, as plants need CO2 to survive! (Go ahead, groan loudly)

Javascap: I find this interisting, Jason, that you just provided proof humans do have an impact. Ozone was almost decimated by CFC's and, despite your erroneous claim, Ozone has been increasing. This entire ozone problem started in the 30's, and in only 30 years, we had a huge hole over both of the poles, 70 years less than your "timeframe of influence". There once was a point where we did not have a global impact, that time is now past. Whether you want to admit it or not, earth is undergoing a time of change, and people like you seeking to undermine the severity of its impact are, frankly, not helping one bit. On the side note... plants do need CO2 to survive, but your statement practically made my brain cells wither away and die.

Jason: Yet global temperatures have not increased

Javascap (right now, I was resisting temptation to lunge over and throttle him... probabally would not have looked good for a debate) Didn't you say just earlier, "Global temperatures have gone up a measley one degree"?

Jason: (very red shade on his face right now) If global warming is real, try to explain to me how Europe just had one of its coldest winters on record?!

Javascap: I will bring up what you said earlier, climate variation. Global warming was, untill recently, dismissiable as natural climate variation. Only in the last 10 or so years has global warming finially emerged from the background noise...

Jason: (cuts in again) Stop rambling and get to the point

Javascap: It generally is not polite to interrupt people (Dirty glance from Jason). As I was saying, assuming you will allow me to finish, global warming is emerging from the background noise for climate variation. For that percise reason, freak climate variations, in this case, a cold winter, can still occur. What you fail to recognise is that a dip in temperature in one part does not undermine the increase in GLOBAL average temperature.

Jason: (Incoherant babbling, stuttering to find words)

Javacap: Are you quite done? If you can't think of anything to say, I would strongly reccomend tat you concede this debate. After all, my water bottle (refilled, by the way! =D) is starting to run low, and I am sure you have noticed how opressivly hot this room is, just like what the world is becoming.

Jason: (Loses all self controll and starts running at me, spits on my shirt, and claims I just insulted him.)

(End of debate.)

Above dialouge provided by my High School Debate Club advisor. I did not obtain the records untill she was kind enough to mail them to me, and I recieved them yesterday.

All the information added in 's are my input and retrospects.