Mike Cernovich

Going to the gym to train legs with sex and period juice all over you from last night leads to an interesting aromatic bouquet. I won't apologize for being laughed at recognized worldwide, altering the course of human history, and spreading a positive message to the world.

Mike Cernovich, also known as "Weird Mike" or "Juicebro", is an alt-right talker with a plethora of stupid views. He has two main gigs: promoting conspiracy theories and whining about "weak" liberals. Before he became famous, Cernovich was a First Amendment lawyer who spent his time promoting MRA / internet tough guy views. Cernovich said many, many crazy things about women, rape, and transgender people which he has since attempted to delete. Fortunately, we've archived all of his often-sexually-explicit insanity for your viewing displeasure. Not surprisingly, Cernovich was an early member of the Proud Boys.

Since then, Cernovich has become famous for promoting conspiracy theories, often working with Alex Jones or Paul Joseph Watson. Ironically, Cernovich's lifestyle is only possible because he's supported by alimony from his rich ex-wife. How's that for an alpha male?

Cernovich has a YouTube channel that has managed to snare over 80,000 subscribers and three million views.

Arrest for rape
Cernovich was arrested for and charged with rape in 2003 but continues to deny the allegations, claiming he was "falsely accused." The charge related to this incident was later dropped in favor of a charge for misdemeanor battery of a woman, for which he performed community service. His record has since been expunged.

Conspiracy theories
You’ve got to be kidding me. He’s a nutcase. Recently, Cernovich has become a notable conspiracy theory popularizer; he helped make "Hillary Clinton is dying" into a mainstream issue of "concern", and was also the leading promoter of Pizzagate and related pedophilia-baiting.

Pedophiles, pedophiles everywhere
Cernovich particularly likes to paint his opponents as pedophiles, perverts, or sexual harassers. We have prepared a partial list of those Cernovich has labelled as pedophiles or connected to pedophiles:

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Given the copious material Cernovich has written about his own questionable sexual exploits (below), this can best be described as some combination of projection and clickbait. It is also odd that Cernovich reveres Donald Trump, when Trump is an admitted sexual assaulter.

60 Minutes interview
When questioned about his conspiracist beliefs, Cernovich stated that "I will not say anything that I do not sincerely believe is true." When pressed, he doubled down and Gish Galloped as hard as possible (transcript from Cernovich himself):

He omitted to mention in this exchange that Donald Trump was a friend of Epstein. Trump also hired as his Labor Secretary a prosecutor who illegally signed a concealed plea deal with billionaire Epstein over his alleged pedophile crimes and backed him after the scandal came out.

Minor conspiracies
Cernovich has also promoted numerous other conspiratorial beliefs. For example, Cernovich believes (or professes to believe):


 * False flag conspiracy theories:
 * "The Orlando shooter did not act alone"


 * Alt-right conspiracy theories:
 * South African whites are being exterminated and the media is covering it up. He claims that whites in South Africa "are being raped and slaughtered by blacks" but are being denied from coming to the United States.
 * "South African Whites have more of a claim to being "native born" than the black majority. This is not taught in schools".


 * Obama-era political conspiracy theories:
 * Obama is not a Muslim, but an atheist and the media is covering it up.
 * Obama is gay and the media is covering it up.


 * Trump-era political conspiracy theories:
 * Cernovich claims that Clinton paid people to attend rallies. More absurd, he believes that the Democrats are literally buying votes: "Felons vote Dem. Liberals killed party going all in with SJW/BLM, so the only way to win elections is buying votes."
 * Hillary Clinton wanted war with Russia.
 * Bill Clinton has an "abandoned black son".


 * Pro-Russia posturing:
 * Cernovich really likes Putin, putting him on a heroic pedestal: "Putin is a larger than life alpha male who loves his country and will fight to defend it. Why *don't* you admire him? Brainwashing." "Although I do not work for Russia or anyone, Putin and I think alike. We love our countries and want to protect them."
 * Cernovich really likes Russian media. "Russian media tells the truth about America and lies about Russia. American media just lies. Hard to find truth about Russia." He has further stated: "American Media (terrorist organization) v. Putin. I believe Putin!" In fact, Cernovich actually gave an interview to RT.

Fitting with his "fake news" vibe, Cernovich promised that should he become press secretary  his first act would be to "disband the hoaxing White House Press corps". This is, of course, because he supports free speech.

Anti-women bigotry
Roosh V: Met a cute Polish girl who lived in the USA. Well-traveled, interesting, knows about art, funny.... but not feminine at all. Pass. Cernovich: @rooshv Girls don't get it. If an interesting man is looking for good conversation, he'd rather talk to a man. Cernovich adopts MRA views of women and rape, in which women are manipulators who use sexual harassment cases (ie, false rape accusations) for personal gain:

Cernovich also authored a guide for avoiding "false rape accusations", which he has since deleted. The guide's key points were: Film your sexual encounters; "take the whore out to breakfast"; and "if the police call, don’t answer". Right.

Sex and rape
You can't rape the willing. The hotter the sex, the more closely it resembles rape. In line with the above views on women, Cernovich partially denies the possibility of rape and is apathetic towards its occurrence:

We've excluded his creepy rape fantasy tweets.

Cernovich also denies Western rape culture and claims that it is just a feminist talking point. In the same breath, he uses alleged rape among immigrants as a pro-nationalist talking point:

On raping a woman: When in Doubt, Whip It Out
Don't forget, @Cernovich did *exactly* what Louis CK did. No wonder he's so quiet about it. Cernovich wrote an article for his blog titled "When in Doubt, Whip it Out". Cernovich tells a story in which he forced his dick onto a non-consenting woman in order to try to fuck her. Cernovich has since deleted the article. Unfortunately for Cernovich, the Internet never forgets:

Anti-trans bigotry
Surprising nobody, Cernovich really doesn't like trans people:

Cernovich has also felt it worthwhile to share his views on trans sex workers:

Fortunately, in case you were worried that he is a bigot, Cernovich has clarified that he, too, is transgender: "male-to-male transgender".

"What Is Sex with a Tranny Like?"
Cernovich decided to publish a story entitled "What is Sex with a Tranny Like?" on his website. It's exactly as bad as you think it is. So bad, in fact, that Cernovich deleted the story. Fortunately, again, the Internet never forgets:

Cernovich later claimed that this story was submitted by a reader. This story was also told years previously, almost word for word, on a message board for MMA fans by a user named "Kinkle", widely believed to be Mike Cernovich himself.

Semen, the "life force"
Cernovich literally thinks semen has addictive properties, cures depression, and prevents women from cheating:

Unsurprisingly, Cernovich's treatment of his "super serum" has failed to take off in alternative medicine markets (though in fairness, there does seem to be some evidence that semen carries antidepressant properties).

Primal instincts, porn, and Cultural Marxism
He also blames porn and masturbation upon the Cultural Marxists:

Defeating STDs with coconut oil and slut-hate
Cernovich's beliefs about STDs fall squarely into alternative medicine territory(and racism):

Religion
When you think of what's truly ugly in our culture (feminism, abortion, political correctness), you'll see atheists behind it.

While Cernovich's parents are devout Christians, he doesn't believe in Jesus. That hasn't stopped Cernovich from being a maximum asshole. In 2014, Cernovich wrote an obnoxious tract about his experiences with the divine. We have included a relevant section:

He also enjoyed mocking atheists   and talking about "militant atheist" terrorism. However, in 2017, Cernovich claimed to be an agnostic. However, he adopts what is essentially a Cultural Christian worldview:

Pivot to Islam
In late January 2019, Cernovich published several tweets denouncing Christianity, and promoting "a moderated form of Islam." Naturally, his followers were not pleased. He also mentions about how he's learned that Islamophobia is real and how it affects a close friend of his, which is... something certainly very unexpected given his past views. Given that his second wife is of Middle Eastern ancestry and they share a child, this becomes less of a surprise.

Unsurprisingly, Cernovich has also made statements like "the moderated form of Islam is probably the West's only hope", viewing Islamism as natural allies against "wokeness".

Ego
Cernovich will continue breaking stories while everyone else talks about the same basic b*tch stories. We present a delectable selection of headlines from Cernovich's Medium account:


 * "Audacity: How to Go from Nobody to Somebody" (take one guess who it's about)
 * "Trump Supporters Favor Julian Assange, Marijuana Decriminalization, Major Survey Reveals" (his "major survey" was polls on his Twitter)
 * "Journalism Takes WILL and Courage, Not Fancy Offices" (Cernovich works from home in a house he bought with his ex-wife's money)
 * "How I Forced the Entire Mainstream Media to Admit they are Hypocrites" (TLDR: "I re-publish their Tweets, which is something I get pissed about when people do to me")
 * "Deep State’s latest Smear — They Falsely Claim Mike Cernovich was Not in Military" (when Cernovich farts, he blames it on the shadow government)
 * "Haters Wail as Cernovich Hits 300K" (Cernovich's Twitter is his life's high point)

Bullying
Never show weakness, always attack, there is no redemption in this post-Christian world. Cernovich who is secretly just a 12-year-old masquerading as a 50-year-old lawyer  really likes to bully people, particularly women.

Political pundit career
To beat a person, you lower his or her social status. Logic is pointless. To destroy an institution, you lower its social status. Cernovich was born in the Gamergate swamp and never really left. His politics is highly based on opposition to feminists, "SJW"s, and liberals.

Gamergator
I had never heard of "gaming media" until recently. Jesus Christ, guys, put down the fucking video games and stop reading retarded sites. Gamergate was the turning point in Cernovich's career, shifting his attention from whining about demolishing feminism to more political concerns. After Gamergate, Cernovich's tweets took a notably more political turn. Cernovich spent his time attacking Black Lives Matter, Obama / Clinton, and "the Media". In the process, he grew a substantial following.

Cernovich gave informal legal counsel to Eron Gjoni after Zoe Quinn took Gjoni to court for a restraining order to prevent him from goading Gamergate on. Cernovich determined it was unconstitutional, and somehow this justified sending a private investigator to stalk Quinn while she was homeless.

Cernovich also offered legal counsel to 8chan's founder Fredrick Brennan after Patreon banned 8chan from using their services after they updated their terms of use to ban funding for projects that promote harassment, self-harm, and child sex abuse. It was to be a disability discrimination case.

Alt-right
I went from libertarian to alt-right after realizing tolerance only went one way and diversity is code for white genocide. Cernovich doesn't consider himself a member of the alt-right. In particular, he hopes to draw a distinction between a "new right" and the alt-right. For example, he disinvited Baked Alaska from the alt-right/Trump supporter "Deploraball" conference for being too openly Nazi &mdash; i.e., talking about the Jewish Question  (Cernovich failed to disinvite noted non-Nazi Richard Spencer). He also stated:

Despite that, as we document above, his views are virtually all in line with those of the alt-right.

Anti-liberal vendettas
In 2018, Cernovich discovered a new tactic to annoy liberals and Trump opponents: going through decade-old tweets and publicizing anything offensive he found. This led to film director, known for his public opposition to Trump, being temporarily sacked by Disney for ten-year-old rape jokes. He also publicised old material by Trevor Noah, host of satirical US TV program The Daily Show which is frequently critical of right-wingers, and by Rick and Morty creator, unearthing an old sketch about child-rape. In some ways, this mirrors tactics used by rightwingers against those like Roseanne Barr, the right-wing actor who was sacked after a series of offensive tweets, but each case must be judged separately, and the things Cernovich unearthed were far older than Roseanne's tweets; also they were in the public domain for years, which is odd for a corporation to sack somebody after all that time.

Forgery
In Mid-December 2017, Cernovich tried shopping a poorly-forged document to various news outlets; the document alleged various sexual harassment claims against Senate Minority leader Chuck Schumer. Only professional internet troll was interested. As of December 2017, both Cernovich and Johnson are reportedly under investigation by the Capital Police.