Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/October 2010

Ken's World: Obama is giving welfare cases taxpayer-funded cellphones! Reality: The cell phone subsidy program was created under President George W. Bush, not Obama, and isn't taxpayer funded. Bonus points for diligent scholarship: Gentleman Ken fails to even read his own source. The Rally to Restore Sanity didn't quite get its message across to everyone... It can't not be true! "Obama Disapproval Hits Lowest Low Ever"

Ed hits the ground running in a three-year-old conversation, correcting the good doctor on the point that his observations of morphing vestigial structures are not incredible, they're unbelievable. Welcome to Conservapedia's guide to defending the indefensible

Andy: 'Atheist-led Microsoft is a dying brand!' The death throes speak for themselves A son of Phyllis "You can't rape a wife" Schlafly - Roger, not Andy - begins to water down the Marital Rape article. Quelle surprise.

JPatt has entered the final level of Schlaflyism, using his grandmother as a source. Eek! Those creepy liberals at Google are at it again, trying to sell some dumb terminals stab your hard drive in its sleep and view all your smut files! A particularly ironic specimen of an Ed stub.

Ed: It is "leftist propaganda" to suggest that Benito Mussolini had some sort of falling out with socialism. Why? Because Jonah Goldberg called him a "lifelong socialist." UPDATE: Now energized, Ed goes on a Ken-like editing binge, noting that Mussolini wasn't a journalist, he was and he created Fascism, he didn't Fairly consistent line of CP boilerplate: More Americans are turning conservative because liberal claptrap doesn't work. Andy: Liberal claptrap doesn't work because more Americans are turning conservative. With no sense of irony, Andy proclaims "Blogs are written by fools..." UPDATE: Who's the more foolish: the blogging fool, or the fool who follows quotes the blogger? Driven by his Global Warming agenda, Ed briefly forgets that CP tends to frown on sources that assume evolution and an old Earth to be true. Andy puts up a stat about Bible sales on 10/24 and it takes one day for him to decide against using a source whose entire point is that niche Bible translations (like the Conservapedia Bible Project) are eroding the Bible as the "authoritative word of God" and making it "something trivial": "It is in effect moving away from a common membership in the body of Christ into disparate, confusing misrepresentations of the rich wisdom of Scripture, which ought to unify us." | Diplomacy, that evil atheist weapon. <votecp poll=wigo3825 closed="yes">Well, it was only a matter of time <votecp poll=wigo3824 closed="yes">The Schlafly brothers are at it again! <votecp poll=wigo3823 closed="yes">Gentlemen. Are we absolutely certain Schlafly isn't a parodist? <votecp poll=wigo3822 closed="yes">Where will it end? "Obama's a Muslim... Atheist... Communist.... No! He's Hitler!" <votecp poll=wigo3821 closed="yes">Mr DeMyer, the reason DebbieT can't respond to your obfuscation is not that the "cat has gotten her tongue", rather that she's blocked for five years, you cretinous, deceitful moron. <votecp poll=wigo3820 closed="yes">Wiki expert user 188 creates a top notch date-related template. Completely unrelated: #188 seeks help regarding date-related templates on Wikipedia. <votecp poll=wigo3819 closed="yes">Andy takes a leaf out of Ed Poor's book with the newest stub in his family-friendly encyclopedia. Update: Still a stub, but thanks to we know about another anti-American characteristic. Expect the application of a liberal x category in 3, 2, 1... <votecp poll=wigo3818 closed="yes">No, Roger, just no. There is no sensible formulation of mechanics that makes Geocentrism and Heliocentrism (with center-of-mass correction) equivalent formulations for the solar system. There are inertial frames and non-inertial frames, and they are different. It's true that the "covariant equations" you are so fond of let you use any coordinates you want, but the Christoffel symbols can distinguish inertial (e.g. Heliocentric) and non-inertial (e.g. Geocentric) frames. And, by the way, none of this requires relativity, which is a good thing, since relativity is debunked 32 times over at CP. Geocentrism is OK for Google maps, but not for describing the solar system. <votecp poll=wigo3817 closed="yes">Canada, deviating slightly from its big-government, pork-barrel policies, refuses "Fox News North" access to public funding (although it could still operate with its own money, if enough Canadians were willing to pay for it). To Jpatt, this constitutes a Commie wall of liberal censorship. <votecp poll=wigo3816 closed="yes">Juan Williams makes insensitive comments about Muslims and he loses his job for "Freedom of Speech"; Helen Thomas makes insensitive comments about Israelis and she loses her job for "ignorance and racism" <votecp poll=wigo3815 closed="yes">Jpatt crows that homeschooling is moving into the mainstream. Irony: it is doing so because creationist kooks are becoming less and less relevant in the homeschooling scene. <votecp poll=wigo3814 closed="yes">Andy: "Of course Jesus was pro-life! Most of his miracles were life-saving." Which makes a nice change from that vicious sadist in the Old Testament. <votecp poll=wigo3813 closed="yes">A shaft of red smoke shoots to the sky and marks the end of the Bible course, as TeacherEd declares it temporarily suspended. <votecp poll=wigo3812 closed="yes">JPratt, with no sense of irony, updates "Obama's Muslim agenda" with the fact that he's planning to sell billions of dollars worth of weapons to Saudi Arabia. So, would that make George W. a Muslim too, seeing as he sold $20bn worth to the Saudis? <votecp poll=wigo3811 closed="yes">Fresh off his success in the recall of Senator Robert Menendez our intrepid attorney hero Andy Schlafly heads to North Dakota for a redux. (Transcript) <votecp poll=wigo3810 closed="yes">Roger the Dodger returns, on some weird liberal quest for facts, it seems. <votecp poll=wigo3809 closed="yes">Conservapedia describes Margaret Thatcher with the very Orwellian sounding epithet "Freedom Patriot" doubleplusungood. <votecp poll=wigo3808 closed="yes">Jpatt proves that Conservative has nomachismo <votecp poll=wigo3807 closed="yes">Conservapedia: Less than four years after starting the conservative alternative to Wikipedia, Senior Administrators are reduced to blogging about Obama's recent meals. <votecp poll=wigo3806 closed="yes">'Conservatism is sweeping the nation!' What's that? Something bad has happened? 'The progressives are taking over!' <votecp poll=wigo3805 closed="yes">What kind of people would stoop so low as to attack another person's religious beliefs!? Oh... <votecp poll=wigo3804 closed="yes"> Atheists are white, unmarried, socially challenged nerds. A perfect quote for the main page of an encyclopedia from a white, unmarried, socially-challenged nerd. <votecp poll=wigo3803 closed="yes">TK, apparently oblivious to the irony: That nanny state shouldn't be doing that! <votecp poll=wigo3802 closed="yes">🇰🇪: Hispanic men live longer because there are fewer feminists in their families to cause stress. <votecp poll=wigo3801 closed="yes">Daniel1212 has switched topics. Instead of the Seven Plagues, he is discussing the bloody plague of bedbugs. <votecp poll=wigo3800 closed="yes">Atheism: the silent killer (so silent only Andy has heard about it) <votecp poll=wigo3799 closed="yes">Imagine being 12 years old and told, "you're unnatural and immoral and your god hates you" <votecp poll=wigo3798 closed="yes">Andy: Baseball player Cal Ripken's hair started to turn gray in his mid 30's. This is proof of a young Earth. <votecp poll=wigo3797 closed="yes">'God saved the miners!' 'No, capitalism saved the miners!' (Never mind that the higher safety standards in Chile's state-owned mines would likely have prevented the mine collapse.) <votecp poll=wigo3796 closed="yes">TK: 'Did Michelle Obama engage in unlawful electioneering?!' Well, if you had been bothered to finish reading the article you'd have discovered the answer...no <votecp poll=wigo3795 closed="yes">What's in the News? "A humorous political cartoon on Obama administration staff members fleeing his administration." It's not as if there's anything more important going on in the world... <votecp poll=wigo3794 closed="yes">Andy: "How do liberals manage to get by avoiding conservative words?" You know, words like "transistor" and "schlockumentary." <votecp poll=wigo3793 closed="yes">Bringing balance to the Trusworthy Encyclopedia, BishoiH deletes everything about the Muhammad-wife-age debate and unilaterally decides the prophet Muhammad was a paedophile. <votecp poll=wigo3792 closed="yes">It appears that the Director of counter intelligence has been advising the Redneck of severely limited intelligence; the result? [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=CommieBlaster.com&oldid=822408 We'll blast them thar commies for y'all! Uh-huck!] <votecp poll=wigo3791 closed="yes">Remember the shit-storm when plagiarised the UCLA article? Well, at least now there's nobody left to call him out, as he does the same for the University of Nevada. UPDATE: It looks as though we hurt his sensitive feelings. He is on a rampage. Oh, Terry, you're so cute when you're angry! MORE: "This definition of plagiarism makes me look bad, so I'm going to delete it and write one that allows me to copy/paste articles." <votecp poll=wigo3790 closed="yes">Once upon a time, the friendly homskoller teacher told his pupils that they could gain extra credit if they translated "at least 5 verses for the Conservapedia Bible Translation project". "That's easy!", exclaimed Andy, the class swot who knew everything. "The whole CBP project was my idea!" The teacher finished his notes on 9 October and waited for his eager pupils to hand in their work. Two by three the responses came, until little Andy handed in his own work. "It... it's not finished yet, sir", said little Andy, and handed in several other lines over the next nine hours. The teacher wondered if little Andy was going to aim for the extra credit, since the CBP was Andy's own project. "Oh! I've got some great ideas for that!", exclaimed little Andy. "Rich people are wonderful!" and he made Jesus say so. "Is there anything else?", asked the teacher. Little Andy thought for an hour. "Well..." he whined, "I could edit what more cleverer people already did?". "I see...", said the teacher. "Anything else?" "Well," said little Andy, "I could make some text written in the 17th century difficult more understand it was than now then to?" "Excellent work!" said the teacher. "I'm sure you want to keep translating more?" "No." said little Andy. "If I did all the work, why would I need so many parodists?" The End <votecp poll=wigo3789 closed="yes">TK: "I took the time to carefully upload so it's my Own Work". Joaquín Martínez: (of all people!). TK:, I tell you!!! ALL MINE!!! TK Hmm... you might. JM:. <votecp poll=wigo3788 closed="yes">Joaquín Martínez adds a quote from the Conservative Bible to the mainpage — from, of all places, the Pericope Adulterae. <votecp poll=wigo3787 closed="yes">Andy, in an attempt to worm his way out of, changes the wording of Matthew 19:24. <votecp poll=wigo3786 closed="yes">A list of evil liberals who refuse to debate! (if by 'refuse' you mean 'agree', and if by 'debate' you mean 'debate with only one other person') <votecp poll=wigo3785 closed="yes">SamHB: "Ed, why did you delete when you could improve? I'm trying to work with you here!" - Ed: "I'm a senior editor and you are just some newbie. While you prepare a Writing Plan for me, why don't you look at my excellent new article to see how it's done?" <votecp poll=wigo3784 closed="yes">Breaking news: In addition to being a Muslim, a socialist, and an America-hater, Obama is an >ugh!< anti-colonialist.

<votecp poll=wigo3782 closed="yes">Andy: "I think I'm going to express the beauty of intelligent design with a blurry, overblown pixelated image." UPDATE TK: The best way to improve this is with a of a GODLESS ATHEIST lane in "Autumn" (whatever that is). <votecp poll=wigo3781 closed="yes">Stop blaming past governments for economic failures... start giving credit to potential future governments for economic successes <votecp poll=wigo3780 closed="yes">A professor no one has heard of resigns from the physical society over global warming? Sounds like important news! <votecp poll=wigo3779 closed="yes">Andy: "Observe! Our new layer is at 0-0-4-9 in perfect fulfill-..." *frowns* ... "Observe! Our new layer is at 0-0-4-8 in perfect fulfillment of Conservapedia's Law!"

<votecp poll=wigo3778 closed="yes">One from the business pages: there's been some Trouble in Tinseltown, leading to a merger and debt refinancing. What caused the bankruptcy and re-emergence of MGM Studios? Why, Hollywood Values, of course! <votecp poll=wigo3777 closed="yes">"Daddy? Daddy? Why are there poor people?" "Because Jesus said so." <votecp poll=wigo3776 closed="yes">Glove slap: tells 🇰🇪 to change his username, since being opposed to what happened at Abu Ghraib makes him like PJR rather than a conservative. <votecp poll=wigo3775 closed="yes">Andy, having decisively trounced relativity, is now eager to see Newtonian mechanics replaced by Biblical scientific foreknowledge.

<votecp poll=wigo3774 closed="yes">Andy insight #35446474: Wikipedia is biased because they don't have an article on my totally made up insights into the Bible foretelling science. <votecp poll=wigo3773 closed="yes"> prevents creation of a page named "Liberal Logic" on the grounds that "there is no such thing." Yeah, about that... <votecp poll=wigo3772 closed="yes">Andy with more Biblical scientific foreknowledge: No one has ever lived past 120 years (except for Jeanne Calment). This apparently confirms a theoretical maximum age set down in the Bible. (Never mind such figures as Abraham, Noah, Shem, Arphaxad, Salah, Eber, etc.) UPDATE: Those men were saints and don't disprove the rule.

<votecp poll=wigo3771 closed="yes">JPratt (Oct): In typical liberal fashion, attendees were bussed in to the One Nation rally. Andy (Jan): In 2009, Conservapedia sent one full bus to the March for Life rally, and in 2010 we're sending two buses! <votecp poll=wigo3770 closed="yes">After Jpatt adds a just facts blurb about CNN firing Rick Sanchez, Andy comes through and "improves" it noting that liberals do not let anyone criticize liberals. It had nothing to do with that whole "Jews are not an oppressed minority" thing. <votecp poll=wigo3769 closed="yes">User: "I have a legitimate question." Ed: "No bitching. Show me your writing plan!"