Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/February 2011

According to CP, Perversion=Diversity. According to Commissioner Bill James, a longtime supporter of a ban on gay marriage, "The public in my opinion knows the difference between perversity and diversity." Are you wondering why you haven't read anything about The King's Speech winning at the Oscars? Then it's probably because you can't read Update: this just in: Facebook crushed by "The King's Speech" ... so Sarah Palin won't be President.

Shorter Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template:Mainpageleft&curid=104388&diff=852798&oldid=852629 Science? BOO! Bible? YAY!] Global warming denial? Check. Liberals? Check. Hollywood values? Check! A Conservapedia mad-lib trifecta is now in play. (Note that Andy accepted our recommendation he post this Front Page item.) Says the guy who rewrote the Bible to get rid of all the parts that offended him.

Now all that's needed is a good lawyer with a track-record of success in these cases. Andy...could you recommend anyone?

In AndyLand cutting grants for poorer students is worthy of celebration

Even "secularized language" is secularized language!

CP in a nutshell: "This article is too short to worry about facts." Mere words cannot describe such stupidity

We don't normally say things like "Andy has become unhinged" or "Andy has really gone off the deep end this time", because we all know that. But you have to see this to believe it! George Washington a saint? Of the church of Satan? This is not the work of some vandal or parodist. This is Andy himself. Andy, after creating an "insightful" article on a term that no one uses, brags about how his article is the first result on Google a certain search engine whose name begins with "G".

I don't know about you, Ed, but I wouldn't want to be playing hockey with hockey sticks that look like. Yeah, good luck with that, Ed. A short and sweet CP favourite: Please recreate your account with your real first name and last initial (in six months' time when your account creation block expires.)

After being spurred on by Benp, Andy starts work on "Secularized Language". Bring on the laughs insights! <votecp poll=wigo4064 closed="yes">Riots and death in Libya, Egypt overthrows its own government: gossipy, overly hyped and not "real" news JDW returns: "By your logic, Andy, the Deceleration of Independence was over-hypedAndy: "The Egyptians haven't displayed a commitment to religious, political and economic freedom" WTF, Andy? <votecp poll=wigo4063 closed="yes">Andy once again displays his wanton ignorance by not realising that the date of a word in a dictionary is the oldest known written citation not the year a word was 'invented'. <votecp poll=wigo4062 closed="yes">Greatest teenage achievements strike back! Andy finally removes that pesky 16 year old Roger Mason. With typical Schlafly deceit, he sneaks this in under cover of adding a 20 year old racing driver. Update: Rodge finds himself back in.  But for how long? 19 minutes. And he's back in again, with a lovely best of the public edit comment for good measure. Grand finale: Rodge is removed, and the troublesome editor is banned for five years for, erm, being from the UK. <votecp poll=wigo4061 closed="yes">No, Andy, what baffles liberals is how you continue to believe that your unscientific, cobbled list of random words, selected and massaged to suit your own narrow preconceptions and hosted on a second rate blog, actually has any meaning. <votecp poll=wigo4060 closed="yes">Andy's nonsensical mainpageright news entry #4031: 62-year-old college fan arrested for allegedly poisoning historic trees on the campus of the national champion Auburn, which had defeated his team. "How about allocating some time to the Bible for a change?" <votecp poll=wigo4059 closed="yes">Oh my ! Now even saying "gesundheit" when someone sneezes is liberal and atheist. You're supposed to say "God bless you." Even "Bless you." isn't enough. UPDATE: Rob returns from Area 51 vacation and deep sixes it. Seems "gesundheit" is just more "commie agitprop." <votecp poll=wigo4058 closed="yes">Bible denier Uncle Ed prefers 'historical facts'. <votecp poll=wigo4057 closed="yes">DavidE breaks his own parody record by brilliantly summarizing Andy's entire worldview in one short article, the fallacy of invincible ignorance. <votecp poll=wigo4056 closed="yes">The wise one hath spoketh: "There were more atheists (or Bible deniers) in 1859 than there are today. Darwin, for example." <votecp poll=wigo4055 closed="yes">The Headline: Rational translation: "Lamestream media is too sissified to make hay over tragedy!...But CP is a Trus[t]worthy Encyclopedia manly blog!"

<votecp poll=wigo4054 closed="yes">Does 🇰🇪 know what irony is? After starting his much-promised 90-day sabbatical he returns to tweak his Essay:Conservapedia obsessive compulsive disorder. <votecp poll=wigo4053 closed="yes">Unmeasurable but thought to be in the tens of TeraPoes long time parodist CP contributor creates No true Scotsman. <votecp poll=wigo4052 closed="yes">Andy has discovered that England (by which he probably means the whole United Kingdom) changed its government from a Constitutional Monarchy without telling anyone. <votecp poll=wigo4051 closed="yes">You cannot argue with his logic, because you will be banhammered. <votecp poll=wigo4050 closed="yes">Andy: 'you'd have to be pretty stupid to make such an elementary spelling mistake'...but even more stupid to promote said mistake in a student's homework to the status of 'model answer'? Bonus pedantry: Never mind, Andy, that Krugman's non-hyphenated usage of a compound adjective is absolutely correct in this case. <votecp poll=wigo4049 closed="yes">Our dear friend Conservative is taking a break. But watch out for cameo appearances as user ! Oops, I didn't mean to say that!. <votecp poll=wigo4048 closed="yes">"...It seems to me that groups typically have an inherent right to decide who can remain in the group. It's an automatically "right" if done in a manner consistent with its authority and without any odious discrimination, isn't it?" Hypocrisy, thy name is Schlafly.

<votecp poll=wigo4047 closed="yes">The death blow to Global warming lands, as Andy discovers that it snows in winter. <votecp poll=wigo4046 closed="yes">Ed sez: "Fabulous" is everything "shitty" is not  "Gay" is everything "conservative" is not <votecp poll=wigo4045 closed="yes">The latest installment in Andy's continuing attempt to divide everything in existence into 'conservative' or 'liberal'. <votecp poll=wigo4044 closed="yes">Happy Valentine's Day good cheer to you too, Andy. <votecp poll=wigo4043 closed="yes">Andy is shocked (SHOCKED) that the country with the fourth-highest gun ownership rate decided not to tighten regulations. <votecp poll=wigo4042 closed="yes">Na, just you Andy. <votecp poll=wigo4041 closed="yes">Andy: Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh are losing fans, because they don't use Conservapedia <votecp poll=wigo4040 closed="yes"> Andy bravely asks the question no one is thinking. <votecp poll=wigo4039 closed="yes">[http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template%3AMainpageright&action=historysubmit&diff=848349&oldid=848340 Ha! Those stupid liberals were fooled by fake Palin quotes.] Conservatives would never be fooled like that... <votecp poll=wigo4038 closed="yes">Schlafly science is on display again. You're right&mdash;the breakup of the continents is a relatively recent event, in geological time. About 200 million years ago. <votecp poll=wigo4037 closed="yes">Andy waxes delusional over proposals to expand school choice in Florida: "How about public schoolers taking classes on Conservapedia?" How about the state's Blaine amendment? <votecp poll=wigo4036 closed="yes">Conservapedia, bringing you the very latest in wrong news <votecp poll=wigo4035 closed="yes">Thank you for your valuable suggestion! We'll get that right up! <votecp poll=wigo4034 closed="yes">CP's version of Name that Tune: "I can create that article with only 23 words!"

<votecp poll=wigo4033 closed="yes">Roger jumps in to the best new conservative words and hits the nail on the head <votecp poll=wigo4032 closed="yes">The CP sysops' behind-the-scenes insanity discussions are leaked again.

<votecp poll=wigo4031 closed="yes">Penn Jillette notices Conservapedia's Atheism and obesity article <votecp poll=wigo4030 closed="yes">How Andy imagines his website works for a new arrival: "I'm a conservative American Christian, and I'm looking for a reliable, trustworthy online encyclopedia.   Oh, look, here's one, it's called Conservapedia, The Trustworthy Encyclopedia.   I must check out some of their articles!   Here's the main article they're suggesting I read - it looks really interesting and sensible!.   Now that's a reliable looking internet encyclopedia if ever I saw one, I'll be returning there often - and what's this?   The owner teaches children?!   Perfect!". <votecp poll=wigo4029 closed="yes">Andy is so confident his blog will convert liberals to conservatives that he's not even going to bother trying <votecp poll=wigo4028 closed="yes">Criticize liberal media and claim a lack of fairness? Check. Ignore the facts on the very page you linked to? Check. Conservapedia is back on form. <votecp poll=wigo4027 closed="yes">Andy: "Roger Mason is non-notable on this list." Benjy: "Let me explain..." Andy: "No references. You lose." Benjy: "Here are a few references." Andy: "Too many references. You lose." Benjy: "Ok, this is why I posted them..." Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Great_Achievements_by_Teenagers&diff=next&oldid=847294 "It is not in the Bible. You lose."] Update: Benjy:"OK Andy, I have jumped through all your hoops, I am re-adding Mason."

<votecp poll=wigo4026 closed="yes" closed="yes">PLEASE HELP ME MAKE CONSERVAPEDIA EVEN CRAPPIER THAN IT ALREADY IS!!!! Update : If no one is listening then I'll have to spam Talk:Main Page. UPDATE: Errrr....no, wait, hang on, scratch that...I.....errrr....uhm

<votecp poll=wigo4025 closed="yes">Two words for 🇰🇪: Fat Chance <votecp poll=wigo4024 closed="yes"> Is Uncle Bad Touch even trying anymore?

<votecp poll=wigo4023 closed="yes">New user: "BARACK OBAMA IS A MARXIST BORN IN KENYA!" "HARRY REID IS A LYING, CHEATING SOCIALIST!" "CHRIS MATTHEWS SUCKS OBAMA'S COCK!" JPratt: Everything you say is Conservative! Oy vey. <votecp poll=wigo4022 closed="yes">What's this? Yet another "Defensive weapon of gun"?: "Predictably, the White House denies responsibility"! The brilliance of Hisself shines as CP is now able to blame Obama for anything! <votecp poll=wigo4021 closed="yes"> asks the burning question: Did Barack Obama have a hand in creating the chaos in Egypt? No. No he didn't. You idiot. Update: Oh, dear; we must issue a retraction. It is now an encyclopaedic fact (attested by that paragon of reason, Dr. Michael Savage) that Obama did have a hand in it, in order to cede the power of the Judaeo-Christian west to Islamic tyrants. <votecp poll=wigo4020 closed="yes">Ed: "By definition, any theory whose backers continue to defend it, no matter what counter-evidence is presented, is pseudoscience. A real scientific theory, on the other hand, is capable of being disproved." <votecp poll=wigo4019 closed="yes">Karajou decides to change things up a bit and stand up for someone reverting a sysop's edit, Must be easier when the sysop is 🇰🇪WAIT, NO: Ken's not taking this lying down!!! Annndddd he's gone. Without a shred of integrity, Ken engages in liberal lastwordism.

<votecp poll=wigo4018 closed="yes">In a classic Schlafly rearguard Captain Nonsequitor Karajou decides on a kitchensink approach. <votecp poll=wigo4017 closed="yes">Is there no one who can do simple math any more? (We know about Ed Poor, but no one else?) A user removes the well-known "add 40 / subtract 40" method for converting between Fahrenheit and Celsius and explains on the talk page why it doesn't work. In his example, he says the rule gives 77.8, whereas the correct answer is 37.8. You dumb shit! You left out the final step, which is subtracting 40. <votecp poll=wigo4016 closed="yes">Andy observes events and data with an open mind: "Snowfall is correlated with cold weather, and much snowfall is a counterexample to the liberal claim of dangerous global warming.

<votecp poll=wigo4015 closed="yes">It's pretty cold right now in an area covering a few states of the US, so clearly that's evidence the Earth's not warming in an overall sense. <votecp poll=wigo4014 closed="yes">Yes, because everyone knows North Carolina is more liberal than Missouri. <votecp poll=wigo4013 closed="yes">Yesterday: [http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template:Mainpageright&diff=845331&oldid=845270 Obama's not asking Mubarak to step down! BOOOO!] Today: Mubarak's opponents are all Islamic extremists and/or Iranian puppets.

<votecp poll=wigo4011 closed="yes">Someone linked to "Atheism and obesity! Perhaps popular YouTube channels will follow suit? This is obviously the natural result of Conservapedia's high-quality content on fat atheists, and has nothing to do with Conservative asking acquaintances to promulgate his material.