Dick Morris

I've been thinking about starting a hedge fund, just to invest in whatever Morris says won't happen.

Dick Morris is a conservative pundit and pollster. He worked with Bill Clinton as governor of Arkansas (i.e. ever since 1978, during Clinton's first election ) and as President. After working with the Clinton administration, he went Republican and started appearing on Fox News, and got a regular segment on The O'Reilly Factor. (He was in fact a Republican strategist before 1994, and Clinton started consulting him in secret ever since 1992. It was Morris who put Clinton in the third way triangulation stuff.) He also still polls. He once let a prostitute suck on his toes while he was working for Clinton, and also did an impersonation of Popeye the Sailor Man for her. He doesn't like Clinton anymore, and really dislikes Clinton's wife, Hillary Clinton; this was because the Clintons cast him aside after an alleged dalliance with a call girl.

He was terminated from Fox in 2013, on his own admission for being wrong with his political predictions, and later in 2013 became the "chief political commentator and correspondent" for... get this... the National Enquirer!

Nowadays, he can be found on Newsmax, one of the perpetual fonts of far-right wingnuttery, either as part of his weekly half-hour show or guest-starring on one of several others, yelling about how teaching kids about racism will reinforce the Oedipal complexes that they all have.

Vendetta against Hillary Clinton
Dick Morris is not the first man to feel bitter about his old job, but he has certainly gone the extra mile to make his bitterness known. On The O'Reilly Factor, Morris told Laura Ingraham that his "old friend" Hillary Clinton was conspiring to create a global EPA through the United Nations. Given the UN's record on "getting us to heaven" Mr. Morris and Ms. Ingraham have nothing to fear.

Among other books, he has written Rewriting History, which is largely a rebuttal to Hillary Clinton's self-satisfied autobiography Living History. Dick Morris seems to carry a lot of silly bitterness towards Hillary.

Assorted lies
Perhaps it comes with the profession, but Dick Morris is quite mendacious. As a Republican operative, he has decried Barack Obama as a dictator (doing things for which Bush was praised). He also tends to bullshit about the economy.

As a pollster
Dick Morris anticipated Mitt Romney would win the 2012 U.S. Presidential Election in a landslide. He was wrong.