Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/June 2010

Vandalizing a wiki? Call the FBI! Vandalizing an expensive billboard? Divine intervention!

{|class="collapsible collapsed" !Most welcome news for more than 100 blocked editors Inactivity in editing does not justify being blocked, Aschlafly, 11:54, 30 June 2010 (EDT). (cp:User:CollegeRepublican is safe, too!)
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Lenski Redux : The letter to Douglas Moo will be sent out any day now. Should we expect Andy to be mocked again? UPDATE: There, it's gone! No, hang on I'll change a bit. Another Schlafly gem:Obama has a consumer confidence index that's too low, Saint Ronnie got a 100 in 1985 the source:[http://www.upi.com/Business_News/2010/06/29/Consumer-confidence-dropped-in-June/UPI-42331277835992/ The monthly Consumer Confidence Index... uses 1985 as a base year with an assigned value of 100] People living in glass houses should not throw stones

Well, we can't possibly argue with that, can we? Oh wait... 🇰🇪, CP's resident manly man, points out that Charlotte has machismo, Portland doesn't and helpfully suggests that machismo-less Richard Dawkins would fit in well in Portland. And in a demonstration of CP's dependence upon rigorous statistical analysis, it's from a survey that was sponsored by a snack food, and (surprise) based partly on its sales statistics, and other useful criteria like "number of home improvement stores" and "pick-up trucks per capita". [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk%3AMain_Page&diff=790751&oldid=790745 It's official. Conservapedia has branched off from our reality into a parallel universe.] Meanwhile, back in our world... Blogger: Here's an entirely hypothetical scenario... Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template%3AMainpageright&diff=790669&oldid=790588 So what if it hasn't actually happened? That won't stop me condemning them!]

Andy fails to grasp the nuances of sentence structure and announces with apparent joy that banning the banning of guns has been banned. Or, in other words: The Supreme Court says that you can't ban gun control. ...So does this mean that gun control wins? According to Andy, the US lost to Ghana because of American feminism and Ghanaian prayer. (yet apparently England lost to the US due to atheism). 🇰🇪 to Obama: God's not going to help you with the oil if you keep talking to the atheists, a message atheists would typically agree with. "Conservapedia is the leader in delivering insights." KevinO: McChrystal broke the rules. Karajou: Which one?. RichardTN: This one. Karajou: Erm, doesn't count, that's not a military source. BillDunbar: OK, how about this one? Karajou: Erm, doesn't count, I asked KevinO, not you. KevinO: Here it is. Karajou: So what?! [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template%3AMainpageright&diff=789663&oldid=789635 'Obama sacked someone?! That's worse than the murder, deportation and imprisonment of thousands of people!'] Andy: English Literature is one of the worst college majors; after all, the Virginia Tech killer was studying it! UPDATE: "Garbage in, garbage out." Andy elaborates in his usual measured way. <votecp poll=wigo3520 closed="yes"> More conservative logic brought to you by TK: Rahm Emanuel "expected" to quit is the same as him debunking the rumor as "ludicrous". <votecp poll=wigo3519 closed="yes"> Some delving into the Conservative Bible Project reveals that clearly the word "black" means "brunette", which leads to such interesting phrases as "I am a brunette girl, but I am beautiful" and "Brunette as the tents of Kedar". UPDATE: Resident Parodist JacobB puts the kibosh on the fun Oh also: don't "Stay me with flagons", "Make me strong with raisins.

<votecp poll=wigo3518 closed="yes">Apparently, according to Andy, 'aerobics' is a conservative term. <votecp poll=wigo3517 closed="yes">[http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template:Mainpageright&diff=788846&oldid=788780 Obama's resting! How dare he rest! He said he wouldn't rest!] He's probably sneakily eating and sleeping behind closed doors as well, instead of LITERALLY spending ALL his time PERSONALLY cleaning pelicans. (Even God rested on the seventh day...)

<votecp poll=wigo3516 closed="yes">Andy pulls another conservative parable out of his ass, because only a conservative would be nice to a kid with cerebral palsy. Note that it is neither conservative, nor a parable. <votecp poll=wigo3515 closed="yes">Dive for cover, it's a Media Ambush! Asking Palin about the obscure and little-known "Bush Doctrine" was of course completely unexpected, irrelevant and a trick question. And shame on the interviewer for not explaining to her what the term means! Except that he totally did. <votecp poll=wigo3514 closed="yes"> Thunderf00t slams NephilimFree and Conservapedia at the same time, challenging Nephy to display his MACHISMO.

<votecp poll=wigo3513 closed="yes">🇰🇪 shamelessly puts a picture of Stalin in CP's article on PZ Myers. Way to hold a grudge. UPDATE: "Um, Ken, he's probably not writing any scholarly work on history because he's a biologist". <votecp poll=wigo3512 closed="yes">Barack Obama lacks machismo, just like Richard Dawkins! <votecp poll=wigo3511 closed="yes">User: The claim that one gets 33 million hits on a Google search for "anti-Christian" is 32 million too high. (The article had originally said 1 million, raised to 33 million.) Andy: That's an interesting observation ... (and) begs the question of why.. <votecp poll=wigo3510 closed="yes">Go ahead and add cumulative voting to the list of things Karajou doesn't understand.

<votecp poll=wigo3509 closed="yes">'What Do ObamaCare, Atheism and the U.K.'s National Health Have In Common? We have no idea, but here's a tragic non sequitur' <votecp poll=wigo3508 closed="yes">Enabled women to see, required women to see, Andy shows he isn't one to quibble over those little differences. Late update: saying the spill is 'like an epidemic' really means you think it is an epidemic. <votecp poll=wigo3507 closed="yes">🇰🇪 explores the causal relationship between increasing waistlines and national debts. No news yet, alas, of which nation is the most obese and therefore faces the biggest problem. <votecp poll=wigo3506 closed="yes"> Ed Poor plumbs the great depths of a romantic comedy and comes up with a typical eloquent and totally nonsensical conclusion

<votecp poll=wigo3505 closed="yes">Oh noes! A US politician is claiming to be on a divine mission! We can't have that, can we? <votecp poll=wigo3504 closed="yes">The Bible is correct (to 1 s.f.). <votecp poll=wigo3503 closed="yes">Andy: "Yup...If there were more cookie-baking going on and less pants-wearing, the Mighty Christian Americans woulda beat them Godless Limeys in that so-called 'football' game." <votecp poll=wigo3502 closed="yes">Part #8925 of the ongoing Conservapedia exposé of appalling bias in the left-leaning mainstream media. <votecp poll=wigo3501 closed="yes">Barloq logs into CP and explains he is a Socialist and will most likely be banned. How long before he is? Update: Soon after, oversight! <votecp poll=wigo3500 closed="yes">Because as we all know, those evil atheists from Canada didn't do too well, did they? UPDATE: Way to move those goalposts Andy <votecp poll=wigo3499 closed="yes">The Huffington Post have tried to hide the fact that a reporter used the term 'whack job' first!...by putting the reporter's exact words in a highlighted text box, in a larger font, near the start of the article. <votecp poll=wigo3498 closed="yes">Andy: Who even cares about the "soccer"? ...well, you apparently. <votecp poll=wigo3497 closed="yes">Karajerk seems to think that a "copyleft" licence implies "leftist" politics. A user then points out the ongoing conservapiracy, only for Jpratt  to jump in heroically stating that as the Assfly is a first-rate lawyer, everything is above board here! UPDATE: Karajou adds "extortion" to the list of concepts he doesn't understand. <votecp poll=wigo3496 closed="yes">Karajou: "The effects of liberalism on California: Lack of proper parenting and the allowing of an "anything goes" attitude may have resulted in a minor being lost at sea." NPR: "They are deeply religious people. They describe themselves as born-again Christians". <votecp poll=wigo3495 closed="yes">"Everything you post must be true and verifiable ." If there's no citation for it, that's because of liberal censorship. <votecp poll=wigo3494 closed="yes">Across the world, machismo-lacking rationalists tremble in their Godless boots as 🇰🇪 announces he plans to launch another devastating blow against atheism by writing Women's views of Richard Dawkins. <votecp poll=wigo3493 closed="yes">🇰🇪 suggests that Dawkins lacks an understanding of "manhood". Bold words for a single man who has spent the past three years obsessively editing homosexuality-related articles at Conservapedia. <votecp poll=wigo3492 closed="yes">Conservapedia hails Australia's economic credentials. Pity about the regulated banking industry, socialised health care, liberal government and increasing atheism. <votecp poll=wigo3491 closed="yes">Pointing out that the Constitution allowed slavery and counted enslaved Blacks as 3/5 of a human being? Liberal pre-conditioning. <votecp poll=wigo3490 closed="yes">The epic of 🇰🇪 continues: "I am deciding when and if I will publish a followup work of: Essay: Richard Dawkins still has no machismo!" However, Ken is fair enough to give Dawkins a month to develop machismo. Very considerate. <votecp poll=wigo3489 closed="yes">With a that makes one suspect Steve McGarrett is going to shut down Wo Fat's pro-choice web site, Ken announces a <font size=-2>possible massive internet crusade against abortion. <votecp poll=wigo3488 closed="yes">Andy's new "American Government" class breaks new intellectual ground, coattails! and promises to cover vital topics such as court cases that, quite by coincidence naturally, involve Andy. <votecp poll=wigo3487 closed="yes">Andy can't get enough of displaying his ignorance about foreign politics, stating that because no Catholic has even been PM of the UK it is "untested" and probably not legal. One must suppose the same holds true for a Jewish, Asian, female, Muslim etc. president, as there has never been one of those either. <votecp poll=wigo3486 closed="yes">TK removes obvious parody - inserted by Aschlafly. It's hard to keep track today, isn't it? Update: TK no longer thinks (and never has thought) that Aschlafly's insight was silly stuff, needing citations... <votecp poll=wigo3485 closed="yes">ReligiousRight explains that some pages and edits like this one can't just be edited by anyone and new members aren't allowed to  here. <votecp poll=wigo3484 closed="yes">JacobB shows that being a run-of-the-mill suck-up/minion/lackey/sysop isn't enough for him. He wants to be a Ken DeMeyer-grade insane suck-up jerk. It's good to know that the multivariable calculus course is in the hands of such a level-headed person. UPDATE: Reverted by TK, who is, on occasion, capable of mature judgment. <votecp poll=wigo3483 closed="yes">Now we know what separates the men from the boys: correct use of Unicode! Worried doctors are on standby to deal with the testosterone poisoning that would undoubtedly be triggered by discovery of the correct spelling of 'über'. <votecp poll=wigo3482 closed="yes">Public schools give credit to students who don't even answer the question!. No reputable educational institution would possibly stoop to such methods: "though declaring war outright may caused us to be defeated outright!" Yeah, how to teach Inglisch. <votecp poll=wigo3481 closed="yes">Karajou seems incredulous that someone wants to fix errors in a Conservapedia article. Though he has a point. After 3 1/2 years, why start now? <votecp poll=wigo3480 closed="yes">Andy, January, reverting parody: "[The notion that the Banach-Tarski paradox] confirms the multiplication of the loaves is over-the-top, though funny." Andy, June, inserting parody: "this paradox -- or insight -- bears a striking resemblance to the multiplication of the loaves, which is the only miracle described in all four Gospels." UPDATE Jacob does what he can. <votecp poll=wigo3479 closed="yes">Ed Poor has gotten so bad at writing articles that he doesn't even research the subjects; he'll ask his questions on the article page. <votecp poll=wigo3478 closed="yes">Obvious parodist ReligiousRight suggests that Andy's students scrawling bible verses on their face before tests to improve their performance. JLatt comments on the post, pointing out the obvious parody, but TK objects, and warns him not to make any more personal attacks on ReligiousRight. <votecp poll=wigo3477 closed="yes">Andy wastes the time of yet another expert. <votecp poll=wigo3476 closed="yes">'When I break the five loaves among five thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up?' They said unto him, 'Twelve.' 'And when the seven among four thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up?' And they said, 'Seven.' 'And He said unto them, 'How is it that ye do not understand?' And they replied, 'Perhaps we need a lesson in multivariable calculus?' <votecp poll=wigo3475 closed="yes">Comparing the eleven starting positions in football "soccer" against each other, the US may have a better player in one of them. That makes England the underdogs! The only logical conclusion is that this is the result of rampant atheism. UPDATE Apparently, "soccer" isn't really a sport suited to TV. Tell that to the 715 million people who watched the 2006 World Cup final, Andy <votecp poll=wigo3474 closed="yes">The latest Conservative Parable is from the prophet Reagan on the protestant work ethic. One well paid professional to another: "How come you finish the day looking so fresh and bright?" The other: "Because I don't do my job!". <votecp poll=wigo3473 closed="yes">Andy is either really dishonest, or just really stupid; The epic debate on freshwater lakes: "You keep using that source. I do not think it means what you think it means." <votecp poll=wigo3472 closed="yes">Jinx quits, says he has a "strong desire" to "minister to men". Also something about sore needs, a firm hand, coming to fruition, and removing certain unspecified "things". Not that there's anything wrong with that... <votecp poll=wigo3471 closed="yes">BREAKING NEWS! 'The BBC reports that Barack Obama's brother was denied entry to the UK'...in a story dated 12th April 2009. <votecp poll=wigo3470 closed="yes">You've got to be shitting me - Ed Poor decides to highlight a wonderful ID-backer, and removes that pesky little nugget of information that this "scientist" questions the link between HIV and AIDS. <votecp poll=wigo3469 closed="yes">Unimpressed with Ed's formidable start on Conservapedia's latest entry, our favourite parodist jumps in to flesh out the budding article. But after switching a few words around in the first couple of paragraphs in an attempt to hide his blatant plagiarism, JacobB gets bored and just pastes the rest. Update: user calls out the total bullshit, but in TK's little world, "I don't see anything identical!"Another update: JacobB trashes the evidence! and makes another half-assed attempt to cover up his plagiarism! Only one more paragraph to go!

<votecp poll=wigo3466 closed="yes">So if anybody was wondering why it took so long for Conservapedia to defend Israel's killing of civilians in International Waters, they had to find conclusive proof that It's all Obama's fault. <votecp poll=wigo3465 closed="yes">Black holes are unfalsifiable? Obvious parody! I mean, nobody would seriously suggest that, right? Right. Update: A parodist helps the parodist and smacks Jinx around.

<votecp poll=wigo3464 closed="yes">User: "The founding fathers were deists and the like." Karajou: "Name the deists who were Founding Fathers; I'd love to see it." User: Okay... Karajou: How dare you give me the facts that I've asked for! <votecp poll=wigo3463 closed="yes"> Ed Poor makes another brilliant, detailed contribution. <votecp poll=wigo3462 closed="yes">Andy: "if the press had publicized the possibility that Gary Coleman died from an alcohol-induced fall, then Ted Koppel's son (who surely follows the media) may have curbed his drinking and saved his life"

<votecp poll=wigo3461 closed="yes">Good thing Conservapedia has a policy forbidding gossip, or they might be tempted to gloat about the Gores' divorce. Twice Thrice.