Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/October 2009

User: Andy, I think your blog is broken. JPratt: SILENCE, PEON! BANHAMM-... [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:DevenG&diff=715557&oldid=584896 No, wait... that actually looked like a valid question..."] Economics student answers question 6 so badly it's almost funny. Andy: 8/10. Economics student: Competition can be defined as the free market. Andy: Good new definition. Wow! In one of the rarest occasions,  Andy cites a liberal blog in the Conservapedia news. Oh, by the way Andy, if you actually looked the charts VERY carefully about the gay marriage, the results show that people are split even (although the support for gay marriage is a TAD higher than opposition). Andy: The Biblical account [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Essay:Noah's_Ark_Was_Real&curid=96328&diff=715190&oldid=715187 cannot be disproved. Let's be clear about that.] Good? Okay, we know that the Deluge happened, and since it's easier to save animals from a flood with God's help than without, the theory of evolution is false. LATER Andy adds this to his list of evolution counterexamples.

Heads-up, Jpatt: Ann Coulter has already said all this.

Remember, you're only allowed to whine about something being detrimental to America if Conservapedia disapproves of it.

Jpatt on violence against women in movies: Conservatives fight for women, liberals exploit them. Susie Bright on wingnuts who talk like that: "Tell them to send a royalty check to Andrea and ask them what they’ve done lately to empower female sexual authority." 

Conservapedia the Candidate-Picker, Part 2: Andy plays up the conservative endorsements rolling in for "maverick" Congressional candidate Doug Hoffman, who chickened out of the latest debate campaigns his own way, because he's apparently clueless his own man.

The only non-sysop edit to an article that had been unprotected for a mere 9 hours and 16 minutes since its creation more than one year ago leads to another month-long protection. But what if some pesky non-sysops still want to edit it? Please do all the work in the talk-talk-talk space, I'll take credit for inserting it into the article.

A user wants to put up a banner on Conservapedia's mainpage so as to "welcome students, readers, editors and the likes." To prevent unnecessary destruction of irony meters they should delay this until after they turn account creation on again.

Conservapedia, June 4: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template:Mainpageright&diff=670404&oldid=670248 Yippee! Chris Christie's on his way to trouncing his lib-burr-rul opponent!] Conservapedia, October 28: Christie's a dirty RINO and that's why he's getting creamed by said opponent!

Has the world gone mad? Andy accepts a user's apology.

OscarJ: A statement that "lycanthropy" is derived from Latin rather than Greek is parody.

According to Andy's new translation of Luke 2:36, "prophetess" is a "feminist rendition". Yep, Andy, just like when all those awful feminists made the airlines quit saying "flight attendant" and use the more politically correct "stewardess" instead.

User removes some blatant plagiarism that had been surgically altered with engineered MemeShock language. Jpatt rewards him with a revert and block.

<votecp poll=wigo2648 closed="yes">Andy ("Liberals Deny the Power of Ideas") Schlafly has now got it into his head that whoever spends the most money will win an election.

<votecp poll=wigo2647 closed="yes">RobS: Obama administration criticised over domestic spying program!.....in a report dated: 2007 UPDATE: Removed by Karajou after all of 16 hours.

<votecp poll=wigo2646 closed="yes">Andy: Inherit the Wind is being palmed off as an accurate historical record. Perhaps Andy also thinks Shakespeare's Macbeth is an accurate historical record.

<votecp poll=wigo2645 closed="yes">Andy, being thoroughly flattened in the Ida debate, tries for a save: The British Museum knew from the start that Piltdown Man was a fraud.

<votecp poll=wigo2644 closed="yes">A wingnut can't understand Obama's economic policy. Therefore, Jeremiah Wright taught Obama to hate America.

<votecp poll=wigo2643 closed="yes">TerryH rolls up his sleeves.

<votecp poll=wigo2642 closed="yes">Andy: The New Living Translation of the Bible is rarely used. Uh, right; so rarely used that it's been known to outsell the NIV.

<votecp poll=wigo2641 closed="yes">Andy: Those lib-burr-rul professors who translated the NIV appeased pro-choicers by removing several references to "unborn child." He of course fails to provide specific verse numbers, due to the claim's likely origin.

<votecp poll=wigo2640 closed="yes">Andy explains agnosticism. Apparently, a fair-minded agnostic is a Christian on Monday, Wednesday, Sunday, and every other Saturday.

<votecp poll=wigo2639 closed="yes">Andy: Catholics and Protestants haven't fought in centuries. The Trusworthy Encyclopedia disagrees

<votecp poll=wigo2638 closed="yes">According to Andy, its been a bad year for the liberal media reporting hoaxes. Why, yes, Andy, indeed, it has been a bad year for reporting hoaxes. <votecp poll=wigo2637 closed="yes">Indeed, Andy, it doesn't get better than this. The prodigal son went out on the piss boozing, a thought that Andy's clearly proud of. With one minor discrepancy What next - the 5,000 being fed on fish fingers and buns?

<votecp poll=wigo2636 closed="yes">Andy: the Bible Retranslation Project will help unite Christian denominations. Yes, unite them into thinking you're completely insane.

<votecp poll=wigo2635 closed="yes">To "avoid repetition," Andy favors translating the same Greek word three different ways in the same verse.

<votecp poll=wigo2634 closed="yes">Andy showcases for us his ignorance of mathematics. Heard of polar coordinates, Andy?

<votecp poll=wigo2633 closed="yes">The biased liberal media networks continue their campaign to silence conservative opinion by refusing to participate in a White House press conference unless Fox News is let in as well. Andy, failing to see the irony, puts the story up as a news item.

<votecp poll=wigo2632 closed="yes">"Mom, he punched me." "Yeah, but he called me an idiot". Will it ever end?

<votecp poll=wigo2631 closed="yes">BertSchlossberg, forgetting his writing skills for a moment, posts some word salad about the CBP. Andy replies: [http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Conservative_Bible_Project&curid=94139&diff=713167&oldid=713164 Well put, Bert! Modern translations cannot be left to the modern equivalent of the Pharisees: liberal professors.]

<votecp poll=wigo2630 closed="yes">Joseph Farah of WorldNutDaily rips the Conservative Bible Project a new one: "Basically, those 'conservatives' participating in this idea weren't really upset when liberals messed with the Holy Scriptures. They were upset only with how they messed with them." Andy: WHAAAAA! HE PLAINLY MISUNDERSTAND US! [sic]

<votecp poll=wigo2629 closed="yes">Michigan, with the Democrats and lib-burr-rul union people in charge, is going down the tubes. But North Dakota, a conservative state that's had a solidly Democratic congressional delegation for the last 20 years, is, of course, doing fine.

<votecp poll=wigo2628 closed="yes">The "Ida" disputes continue. User: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Main_Page&diff=prev&oldid=712999 "Ida" is more a media issue than an evolutionary biology issue. The media overhyped everything, not scientists.] Andy: That proves my point: Evilutionists mislead the public and should refund the taxpayers' money. UPDATE: User: Try reading the links I gave you. Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Main_Page&curid=87913&diff=713273&oldid=713161 Scientists announced the finding of the fossil. Therefore, they were lying.] Oh, and evilutionists never learn about the Most Logical Book Ever, the Bible.

<votecp poll=wigo2627 closed="yes">Abortion and breast cancer are linked! And to prove it, Susan G. Komen for the Cure gave some money to Planned Parenthood!

<votecp poll=wigo2626 closed="yes">Another claim of evolution is shown to be false by evolutionists. Therefore, evilutionists should apologize for their hearty skepticism about the claim deceit.

<votecp poll=wigo2625 closed="yes">Ed creates yet another stub. This time, it's about credit for invention, which Ed says goes unfairly to "the last link in the chain". Presumably he's feeling bitter about lack of recognition for all the worthless stub articles he created and left for others to work into a decent state.

<votecp poll=wigo2624 closed="yes">TerryH gives an exhaustive rundown of his lack of Bible scholarship skills: "I can read ancient Greek almost as quickly as I can run it through Google Translate read modern English. Better yet, I have a pocket-size dictionary of modern Greek three lexicons available to me!"

<votecp poll=wigo2623 closed="yes">Ed helpfully deletes a news bite with a bad reference — a mere eight days after it went up.

<votecp poll=wigo2622 closed="yes">JPatt can't tell myth from legend or one misquotation and one unfulfilled campaign promise from 7 lies <votecp poll=wigo2621 closed="yes">Andy:"The Holy Spirit guides me!" <votecp poll=wigo2620 closed="yes">According to the beloved leader Andy, Conservapedia isn't a dictatorship but the public schools are. <votecp poll=wigo2619 closed="yes">Andy deludes himself that he is competing with serious Bible scholars.

<votecp poll=wigo2618 closed="yes">Jpatt performs some, um, unusual pagemoves. Among other changes, Rush Limbaugh is now a gay bomb and Ronald Reagan a gay cupid.

<votecp poll=wigo2617 closed="yes">User: The theory of relativity has been useful in the past. Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Theory_of_relativity&diff=prev&oldid=710631 You're clueless. Relativity hasn't done anything useful, because I say so.] Having won this debate, he proceeds to ask, Why should taxpayers be forced to pay for this scientific unproductive work? UPDATE: HERESY! Andy's response? La-la-la; I can't hear you! MORE: Roger makes the mistake of bringing facts to a debate with Andy. EVEN MORE: Andy tries to win with a Bible reference. Roger responds by making Andy into his bitch. STILL MORE: Andy claims big brother is "ranting"  WHEN WILL IT END? Roger fights back, so Andy calls him absurd. Roger replies yet again. Will Andy insist on last wordism, or let it slide? AND ON WE GO! Sorry "bro" but this discussion, like relativity, yields nothing productive. '''AND THE WINNER IS...ANDY!!!

<votecp poll=wigo2616 closed="yes">Somebody finally calls Andy out on his railing against elites. MORE: Andy responds by changing the definition of "elite," of course failing to note how the Nobel Prize people fall under his new definition (or how he does not).

<votecp poll=wigo2615 closed="yes">Andy sez that the Nobel Prize is given by liberals to other liberals. Like that noted icon of liberalism, Henry Kissinger. And flaming leftist Andrei Sakharov. And commie-lover F.W. deKlerk. And Soviet stooge Lech Walesa. And that dangerous radical, Mother Teresa. And (according to numerous conservative "thinkers"), famed Republican Martin Luther King.

<votecp poll=wigo2614 closed="yes">Andy fails to see any difference between Norway and Sweden (or between a parliament and an academy of science).

<votecp poll=wigo2613 closed="yes">Some people at the NSF are accustomed to browsing smut on the Internet. Andy: This somehow makes the entire foundation deceitful and eager to throw money at evilutionist junk science.

<votecp poll=wigo2612 closed="yes">Andy values logic at work: an article about the private Yale University demonstrates something about professor values at public universities.

<votecp poll=wigo2611 closed="yes">Roger jumps to defend Mommy: Wikipedia says she supported segregation but the book review they cite doesn't say that! The book review in fact says that she "revolted at the 1960 Republican convention after Richard Nixon supported a civil rights plank ... demanding aggressive action against segregation." (Oh, and Wikipedia fails to mention the completely inconsequential essential fact that the book reviewer is a Jew.)

<votecp poll=wigo2610 closed="yes">Andy cleans out "atheistic bias" from the starlight problem article by removing a quote from a creationist.

<votecp poll=wigo2609 closed="yes">Irony meter alert: Kettle Karajou is upset that Wikipedia editors are attempting to remove false information from Wikipedia burn evidence. <votecp poll=wigo2608 closed="yes">Is there a darker side to someone fantasizing about assassinating Rush Limbaugh? Well, we don't know. Is there a darker side to a bunch of wingnuts fantasizing about the sudden death of a Democratic senator?

<votecp poll=wigo2607 closed="yes">: Look, master; these large areas that tend to vote Republican have higher volunteer percentages than places that tend to vote Democrat. That proves that conservatives volunteer more than liberals. Andy: "This is just the kind of substance that makes our site so informative." But poor Jinx still doesn't get all his rights back.

<votecp poll=wigo2606 closed="yes">Eek! Hollywood is poisoning your kids' minds with a lib-burr-rul commie cartoon! Watch out; they'll be fluoridating the water next!

<votecp poll=wigo2605 closed="yes">Andy blows off some more Bible commentary by stating that he wants Conservapedia to be, not a "chat site," but a chat site where he's the only one allowed to chat an encyclopedia.

<votecp poll=wigo2604 closed="yes">Andy apparently mistakes a joke for serious news, which is understandable, since the source seems more credible than most of the others he uses.

<votecp poll=wigo2603 closed="yes">Schlafly Statistics revealed in their true colours: A user adds some new reasons why liberals are liberals. Andy promptly juggles a few percentages so the proportions attached to said reasons do not add up to 120%.

<votecp poll=wigo2602 closed="yes">Andy: "Crackpot, this site is not for you." News to us...

<votecp poll=wigo2601 closed="yes">The First Amendment to the United States Constitution: now also applicable in the United Kingdom, apparently.

<votecp poll=wigo2600 closed="yes">"Those lib-rul professors can't stomach the fact that Columbus discovered America!" Obviously Andy still thinks that Leif Ericsson was a myth, probably invented by Charles Darwin.

<votecp poll=wigo2599 closed="yes">How dare those lib-burr-ruls make a partisan display of anti-democracy by objecting to Rush Limbaugh's plans to buy their football team! (It isn't actually about party at all; the newsbite should read, "Surprise, anti-racist union opposes racist owners in a partisan display of anti-democracy.")

<votecp poll=wigo2598 closed="yes">Andy illustrates his pedagogical philosophy perfectly by viewing ignorance as a sign of intelligence.

<votecp poll=wigo2597 closed="yes">Andy to Student A:"On question 3, you might give the order of the activities. But never mind, full marks!" Andy to Student B:"On question 3 you gave the order but you got it wrong. Minus 1!"

<votecp poll=wigo2596 closed="yes">Something straight from the quote generator.

<votecp poll=wigo2595 closed="yes">Economics student: A free market is essential to charity. There was no charity in Nazi Germany because Hitler was a communist. Andy: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Economics_Homework_Four_Answers_-_Student_Four&curid=95651&diff=708915&oldid=707759 EGGSELLENT! Full marks!]

<votecp poll=wigo2594 closed="yes">The Bible Corruption Project continues apace. Today's problem: how to translate "disciple". Ah, but of course! "Homeschooler"! UPDATE: Andy: "Homeschooler" wouldn't work. Make some substantive contributions. Godspeed.

<votecp poll=wigo2593 closed="yes">DonaldM: Let there be forbidden words Newspeak. JFrasier: Newspeak is good. Andy: Newspeak is doubleplusgood

<votecp poll=wigo2592 closed="yes">Andy confirms it: "closed-mindedness" is a synonym for "atheism," and suitable to replace "unbelief" in the Bible.

<votecp poll=wigo2591 closed="yes">Andy shows his delusions of grandeur again: William Tyndale would have finished his Bible translation if only he had had Conservapedia.

Mark: Lightning has struck the creature, master! Andy: It's alive! It's ALIVE! Flip the switch! Mark: Yes, master! Andy:I shall name it... AlFrankensteinBot! Mark: Our success is great, master! Townsfolk: Ummm... your abomination stitched from the body parts of dead liberals will be easily defeated. UPDATE: The first victim!

<votecp poll=wigo2589 closed="yes">User: Really, you should not twist the Bible Jinxmchue: [http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Conservative_Bible_Project&curid=94139&diff=708493&oldid=708478 Sir, let me assume you also hold these unrelated opinions. Ergo, your argument is invalid!] <votecp poll=wigo2588 closed="yes">It was bound to happen. Of all the scathing ridicule of CP in the media of late, Andy takes one example and puts it on the front page. They're making fun of you Andy. The whole world is. The other kids in elementary school were making fun of you too, and you didn't get it then either, did you? <votecp poll=wigo2587 closed="yes">Daniel1212 tries to insert a little balance into the monologue dialogue on the Adulteress Story. Pope Andy, disliking reading more than a sentence the idea that conservatives disagree with him, denies it the imprimatur. <votecp poll=wigo2586 closed="yes">A blogger writes a column urging moderation in the global warming debate. This blogger happens to blog for a newspaper. Conservapedia: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template%3AMainpageright&diff=708377&oldid=708305 LOOK! LOOK! THE LIB-BURR-RUL MEDIA ARE ALL ADMITTING THAT GLOBAL WARMING'S A FRAUD!] <votecp poll=wigo2585 closed="yes">Andy makes a non sequitur statement in regards to Colbert's recent satire on their Conservative Bible Project: Public school kids watch repeats, therefore watching TV and repeats is the life of millions of teenagers! UPDATE: Andy thinks that Colbert exploits an audience made up of public school children. Really Andy, do you think 7-year-olds would watch a TV-14 satirical "news" show? <votecp poll=wigo2584 closed="yes">MarkGall breaks every irony meter from here to Jerusalem: "Careful scholarship is required to reconstruct the text from extant early sources." <votecp poll=wigo2583 closed="yes">Andy, noting that the phrase unclean spirits "seems archaic," helpfully fine-tunes it by replacing it with "the Devil." <votecp poll=wigo2582 closed="yes">Andy: Leaving in "liberal vandalism such as the Adulteress Story" is contrary to all scholarship. Except, of course, that of insignificant evilutionist hacks like St. Augustine, but let's not quibble here... <votecp poll=wigo2581 closed="yes">Andy, master of the vacuous recursive definition: Conservatism is freedom from liberal bias. <votecp poll=wigo2580 closed="yes">A climate research center runs out of disk space to store climate data. Conservapedia: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template%3AMainpageright&diff=708261&oldid=708191 They're liars! They aren't out of space at all! The data proves that global warming is a scam and they're burning the evidence!] <votecp poll=wigo2579 closed="yes">Commencing countdown to Conservapedia meltdown over this...3...2...1.... Update: Bam! But the article on Barack Hussein Obama will ignore the news as long as possible. <votecp poll=wigo2578 closed="yes">Daniel1212 makes a rather titanic effort to convince Andy that he is on the wrong track with the Conservative Bible Project. Andy responds tersely: [http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Conservative_Bible_Project&curid=94139&diff=708052&oldid=708047 Current translations are liberal. Case closed. Quit talk, talk, talking and resisting logic. We welcome your concise contributions. Godspeed.] UPDATE: LA-LA-LA-LA-LA; I CAN'T HEAR YOU! <votecp poll=wigo2577 closed="yes">User suggests some improvements to the Counterexamples to Evolution page. Andy responds: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Counterexamples_to_Evolution&diff=next&oldid=707992 Open your mind and quit nitpicking. Godspeed.] User then rushes toward a block by asking for a substantive response. <votecp poll=wigo2576 closed="yes">Lib'ruls got your goat? TK knows what to do! <votecp poll=wigo2575 closed="yes">The Washington Post doesn't know Andy's name. Schlafly jumps on it and declares epic winz!!! <votecp poll=wigo2574 closed="yes">A brave insertion of some reasons why the Conservative Bible Project may not be the best thing to happen since Jesus was warm. Karajou: Your point? <votecp poll=wigo2573 closed="yes">Our favorite quote hoover Bible scholar, Daniel1212, contributes a nice little word-salad to the Conservative Bible Project. <votecp poll=wigo2572 closed="yes">Andy: Replacing "Pharisees" with "liberals" in the Bible is a good suggestion. Uh-oh! Quick revert is quick! <votecp poll=wigo2571 closed="yes">Here is wisdom. Let him that hath few enough marbles to think the Conservative Bible Project in any way credible, count the number of the beast bytes added in this contribution to the project. <votecp poll=wigo2570 closed="yes">Breaking news: CNN has been nationalized without anyone knowing about it, as evidenced by its >gasp!< supporting a government proposal. Conservapedia, obviously, has been privatized since the days of the Bush administration. <votecp poll=wigo2569 closed="yes">Irony meter shatters: To avoid being suckered by television, Conservapedia advises that you should stop watching TV and put your head in the clouds a Bible. But when Faux News makes an ad that tees off the lib-burr-rul media, there is no trickery at all, and you should watch it over and over again! <votecp poll=wigo2568 closed="yes">After six months' delay a speedy inquiry, gets a shiny new banhammer! (He still is not trusted enough to edit at night or to upload images, although the latter mistrust might be somewhat justified.) <votecp poll=wigo2567 closed="yes"> The Gauntlet has been thrown: Stephen Colbert's The Colbert Report demands that viewers add him to the Conservative Bible. Update: Ask and ye shall receive. <votecp poll=wigo2566 closed="yes">Oh noes! Lots and lots of Muslims! Shockingly, large countries have more Muslims than small ones! <font size=-3>(Oh, there's still about 600 million more Christians.) <votecp poll=wigo2565 closed="yes">You aint no conservative! No real conservative would use a capital "C"! <votecp poll=wigo2564 closed="yes">Andy: The Atheists have taken over the NFL!!! Reality: Try reading the rules of the game (3rd bullet point) ...or for that matter even the rest of the article you cited...

<votecp poll=wigo2563 closed="yes">TK: "Bit by bit, slowly but surely, I will be increasing my presence back to normal." And if you strike him down, he shall become MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE!

<votecp poll=wigo2562 closed="yes">For extra credit in your homework for Economics Lecture 5, discuss whether or not the Conservative Bible Project is a good thing For a lot of extra credit, explain why it's the most significant event in Bible publishing since the invention of movable type Jesus. UPDATE: Teh Assfly has deleted the question and locked the page, declaring the lecture complete. <votecp poll=wigo2561 closed="yes">Bible translations can not be trusted, the Bible has been tampered with, the Apostles themselves are unreliable. Who can we trust? Andy: ME Jesus. Also, my ten guidelines will henceforth be referred to as Commandments

<votecp poll=wigo2560 closed="yes">Karajou starts a page on the Jesus Seminar, adding that its a radical, liberal organization that (gasp) tried to decide what Jesus did and didn't say. Pot, meet kettle. He then twice removes a very helpful 'see also' link.

<votecp poll=wigo2559 closed="yes"> Andy's Insane Conservative Bible Project worms its way up to the Digg Top Ten! Conservapedia's sudden popularity causes a temporary breakdown. UPDATE: The liberal radio talk show, The Young Turks also talks about CP's project. UPDATE:The Huffington Post and USNews join the party! UPDATE: The New Republic, Harper's Boing Boing and NYDailyNews pick up the story! And many more!

<votecp poll=wigo2558 closed="yes"> User: I can detect liberal style using a robot! This way, we'll be able to detect parodists! Andy: BRILLIANT! UPDATE: User creates mathematical formula for liberalism.

<votecp poll=wigo2557 closed="yes"> doesn't want his rights back. Nope. Not in the least. But he's very sorry. But we knew that already. Andy: [http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Aschlafly&diff=next&oldid=706813 Ah, that's alright Jinx. I'm a conservative, and we say forgive and forget!] (That's, forget about giving you your rights back.)

<votecp poll=wigo2556 closed="yes">Those nasty Dems play the blame game. How foolish of them! Everyone knows Chicago lost because of the deceptive Michelle Obama!

<votecp poll=wigo2555 closed="yes">Chicago lost because Michelle Obama LIED User: Well not really Karajou: Obama communist cronies NAMBLA terrorists murder messiah Jesus Christ! A classic conservapedian "debate" ensues, which Caribou and Andy neatly wrap up. Jinxmunx proceeds to declare victory over the banned user and finishes with a nice incest allusion.

<votecp poll=wigo2554 closed="yes">"The original language of the Bible sucks, old English sucks, modern English sucks, translation bias sucks." - Andy sure has a... unique way of justifying his "Original language to old English to modern English with translation bias" project.

<votecp poll=wigo2553 closed="yes">🇰🇪 beautifully illustrates Poe's Law by quoting obvious satire to discuss penguin sexuality

<votecp poll=wigo2552 closed="yes">"We cannot emphasize enough that Chicago didn't get the Olympics! Really- we mean it!"

<votecp poll=wigo2551 closed="yes">As usual, Godwin's Law at work in regards to the evolutionary paradigm on the internet!1!! Note to 🇰🇪, come back with a more valid argument without bringing up Hitler.

<votecp poll=wigo2550 closed="yes">Conservapedia celebrates the Agony Thrill of Defeat for Chicago's bid to host the 2016 Olympic games, which is suddenly an Obama-related failure.

<votecp poll=wigo2549 closed="yes">User 1: I believe in gravity! Andy:I'm not so sure... User 2:Here's an explanation of why gravity works the way it does! User 1: Here's another one! Andy:Math and physics don't actually have anything to do with each other. Everybody knows that God hates math and that he probably doesn't like the number 2 as much as he does 2.01. Not to mention, I've actually been proven right, scientists just won't admit it because they're all relativity-loving liberals!

<votecp poll=wigo2548 closed="yes">Andy: In the UK, Australia and Canada, freedom of speech does not exist. UPDATE: RJJ attempts to save the article from absurdity, but Andy decides he's had enough factual insertions and re-inserts the "economical" line. <votecp poll=wigo2547 closed="yes">Andy: Vaccine kills! User: Not according to the people who actually know what they're talking about. Andy: Yeah, ummm...well...Conspiracy!!! <votecp poll=wigo2546 closed="yes">What's a better way to say "damsel"? When translating the Bible from English to worse English? Bimbo!