Essay:Why moral conservatism is good

God created us all. The Earth is flat. Evilution is a lie. None of these facts are in the least bit questionable. So, why do secular progressives insist on destroying our moral fundations? Because they are evil and want all humanity to make the Baby Jesus cry! Their sins of homosexuality, greed, fornication, gluttony, fun, and logic are tearing the America we knew and loved apart!

This is where moral conservatism comes in. Atheists are way more likely to be obese, teenaged folk having moar babies because of secular logic, and stealing is always done by liberal crooks. Books also are undermining our faith in the one true holy God! Screw logic, books, science and all that sinful garbage! Bring us back to the days of horse and buggy, candlelit homes, and God! Revert for the conservative cause!

I believe mom and pop drug stores are best and the most moral because they smell good. Just like Mike Savage! Chalkboards are the most morally effective because Glenn Beck doodles on them!

Excuse me for getting offf topic as most conservatives frequently do. Moral citizenry results in primitive technology, less babies, not coming from monkeys, so why wouldn't anyone want to be morally conservative?

They do because secular liberals wanna see a bunch of depraved people who refuse to open their minds. In summary, OPEN YOUR MIND and see the light!