User:Xena/sandbox


 * If the hayseeds in Iowa legalize same-sex marriage, it will shame the "cosmopolitan sophisticates" in Oregon and Washington into doing it.
 * God made conservative women more attractive to compensate for Republican "I Love Lucy" habit of sleeping in separate beds.
 * China was feudal until 50 years ago. In feudalism it's your Count that votes.
 * A new study says masturbation is a better cure for sinus trouble than medication. That might come in handy
 * Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]. Math and Alcohol don't mix: please don't drink and derive.
 * Men's name for their clothing is "That Shit On The Floor" as in "Honey, I done told you to pick up That Shit On The Floor!"
 * I decided that I was a Taoist after everyone kept telling me that I was in the Way
 * What's the difference between the social life of a RationalWikian and garbage? Garbage goes out once a week.
 * Go to church and they say "Stand up for Jesus!" Go to the final game of the World Series and everyone yells, "For Christ's sake, sit down!"
 * I just tested out my pit bull. Ever hear a mime scream?
 * Q: What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today? A: Clawing at the top of his coffin
 * Never criticize a woman until you've walked a mile in her shoes. That way, when you do, you'll be a mile away...and you'll have her shoes!
 * Oprah Winfrey virus : Your 200GB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80GB, and then slowly expands back to 200GB
 * Sixty-five million (32%) of American women are overweight. These are round figures
 * There is no more "Global War on Terror". Obama now calls it "human caused disaster" allowing for climate change to fall under the same umbrella.
 * Sex is a misdemeanor - The more you miss de meaner you get.
 * The Japanese say we Americans are lazy? Hah! We cook our fish!
 * Lucy Lawless turned 41 on March 29th. She will star in a new show playing the girl who buys Spartacus to be her slave. I just got one thing to say: "I AM SPARTACUS!!!!!"
 * Conference on Multiple Personality Disorder? I've half a mind to attend.
 * The difference between the Amazon village and a circus is that the circus is filled with cunning stunts.
 * Just what the Global War on Terrorism needed. Extra innings in Afghanistan.
 * Becoming informed without Faux Noise Channel is like attending an important foreign film without five screaming babies.
 * Rachel Maddow for the conversation, Tina Fey for the wankable Vanity Fair cover
 * Pope goes to Mount Olive. Popeye vows revenge.
 * A kiss is an application for a better position.
 * The Federal government shifts wealth from taxpayers to farmers NOT to grow potatoes, but the farmers are worried about the "socialism" of General Motors being nationalized
 * Why don't Fundies ban that one book where a male character named David proclaims that his love for Jonathan surpasses his love for women?
 * Never criticize a woman until you've walked a mile in her shoes. That way, when you do, you'll be a mile away...and you'll have her shoes!
 * Oprah Winfrey virus : Your 200GB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80GB, and then slowly expands back to 200GB
 * Sixty-five million (32%) of American women are overweight. These are round figures
 * There is no more "Global War on Terror". Obama now calls it "human caused disaster" allowing for climate change to fall under the same umbrella.
 * Sex is a misdemeanor - The more you miss de meaner you get.
 * The Japanese say we Americans are lazy? Hah! We cook our fish!