User:Gooniepunk/essay

According to the GLSEN 2013 National School Climate Survey, 61.6% of LGBTQ+ youth who reported incidents of bullying said that school staff did nothing. 61.6%! Man, this statistic brings me to tears and here's why.

Few people who know me now know that, when I was a kid, I made the innocent mistake of revealing to some "friends" that I was bisexual (mind you, I didn't even know what that was, I was 11 years old at the time, for crying out loud). My "reward" for this was that one of my closest friends betrayed me and organized a group of bullies to attack me; physically and verbally abusing me for the next year-and-a-half. When I suffered the most, though, was in 6th grade, when the abuse from my peers was at its peak and essentially occurred daily. Getting beat up, made fun of, humiliated in front of my peers (the details of which still haunt me like you have no idea). Among the shit I had to put up with, there are some examples I remember vividly:
 * I was no longer referred to as "Gabe" in my school. My name now was "fag," "queer," "gay," "gayfag," or "faggot."
 * Each week, after the spelling test, we'd play a game of silent ball. The balls were foam coated in rubber. One of the rules was you couldn't whip the ball really hard at people. Numerous times, I had it whipped at my head/face/crotch with such force that it would leave bruises. The teacher (acting as official), called me out instead of the offending player. Nobody else had this happen.
 * The school was a three story building. This one time, my class was heading down to the first floor from the third floor. I heard somebody hiss "lookout faggot!" and then I was shoved down the flight of stairs. I didn't break anything, but I did sprain my arm.

Those are just a tiny few of the examples I remember. Back then, I complained to teachers and my parents. My homeroom teacher, who was aware of what was going down and probably knew through the grapevine about my sexual preference, not only did nothing, HE FUCKING ENABLED that shit to happen right in front of him with no consequences. I told my parents about the harassment (though not about where it stemmed from), and they went to the principal of the school. She informed them that harassment based on sexual orientation was NOT covered under their policy on harassment, so there was nothing they would do (note the terminology there) unless my parents went to my teacher for help who, as I said, knew about it, enabled it, and even sometimes passively encouraged it (again, I remember those incidents vividly). So there I was, 12 years old and going through shit I wish upon nobody. Day after day for nine horrible months. By the time Junior High hit, of course, I had had a few growth spurts and learned that, while violence as a solution wasn't pretty (my parents always taught me to eschew fighting people), it was the only way to stop it (I did, in fact, beat up a couple of people). To this day, I can only wonder what my life would've turned out like if they, the school, had lifted a goddamn finger to stop it. Maybe it wouldn't have taken until my late 20's (I'm 30 at the time of writing this) to fully be comfortable with my sexuality. Who knows? Maybe I wouldn't be as strong as I am today, but maybe I also wouldn't be so protective of letting people get to know me and, yes, I might even be less cynical than I am. Maybe I wouldn't have been so susceptible to thinking that violence is was acceptable solution to problems and had a propensity towards aggressiveness thereafter (and, indeed, my single greatest regrets was that, after I finally started fighting back against the bullies, I solidified a defense by becoming a bully myself, because being known as an asshole was far better than being treated like shit.) Maybe I wouldn't always struggle with anxiety and depression. Maybe I would've actually tried harder to give a damn about myself instead of drinking and getting high in my teen years, and then I wouldn't have tried to drop out of society and live as a train-hopping freegan for two years.

Who knows? My point here is that I wish like no tomorrow that the hell I had to go through when I was 12 years old wouldn't ever have to happen to another kid again. But this statistic clearly means that that's the case. I don't care who you are, but if you think turning a blind eye to some kid getting bullied (almost to suicide/homicide in my case) is something you should turn a blind eye to, then you can certainly expect that I have no respect for you and, indeed, will do everything I can to ensure you have no oversight over my kids/nephews/nieces/friends/loved ones. We're not talking about isolated incidents here of some kid getting pushed down a hill. No. If not for the fact that I was in school when this shit went down, it would've been called emotional/verbal/physical abuse and assault. Thousands of other kids have to go through this same shit because teachers/faculty/staff as schools think that “it's just a little harmless bullying.” And so they are fed to the wolves. Day after day for months. Just because nobody at the school gave a goddamn.

Goddamn, it felt great to get this off my chest. Thank you so much for reading and caring. - Gabe “the Gooniepunk”