Fun:How to store your Bitcoin private key

Follow this very simple guide to safely store your private key away from gubmint thugs! So easy, even your grandma can do it!

Generating your key

 * Generate your keys on a computer without internal storage and without Internet connection booting from live media.
 * Divide your private key in more than 4 parts.
 * Manually write each of these parts on different stone tablets, assuring that the tablets do not resemble the Georgia Guidestones
 * Destroy the computer and boot media used to generate the key, just in case.

Safely storing it
That's it! Your private key is now safely away from gubmint thugs! What can go wrong?
 * Dig holes all around your country.
 * Store the stone tablets in these holes. Make sure that no 2 of them are in the same area, leave at least 15 km of distance between them!
 * Remember: Never write down where the stone tablets are, and definitely NEVER tell anyone where they are! Hopefully you have photographic memory!

FAQ
What if I forget where the stone tablets are?

SFYL. Your fault for not having photographic memory/aging/etc.

If even I don't have access to the private key, how do I use Bitcoin?

You don't. You're supposed to wait until the collapse of civilization, when fiat becomes worthless and Bitcoin becomes the currency of the wasteland, making you the new overlord of humanity! We're early!

How will I use Bitcoin if the Internet doesn't exist without the civilization that maintains it?

Silly, obviously when civilization collapses there will still be Internet access.

'''What if I want to leave my Bitcoins for my children/grandchildren/whoever? Won't I have to tell them where the key is?'''

Think about it: what will they do with your hard-earned Bitcoins? Probably cash out to filthy oppressive gubmint fiat. It is better to die without ever revealing your key. Consider it a donation to the Bitcoin community! As those Bitcoins become inaccessible, it will increase scarcity of this very valuable digital currency store of value  asset currency for everyone else, obviously increasing the value!

'''Help! I've been kidnapped by some criminals and they want my Bitcoins or else will drill holes in me until I die!'''

See above.