Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/January 2011

Ed, perhaps forgetting which Wiki he is editing, states that Herbert Hoover's rugged individualism helped cause the Great Depression. George W. Bush announces that he is through with politics, as he does not want to "criticize his successor." Andy, through some hitherto unknown mind-reading tactic, divines that Bush really means he's giving Jeb the limelight. Ed "Two Meters" Poor presents his greatest masterpiece since Platypus Jokes : Spinoff Update: This is after complaining about vagueness on Wikipedia

A good rule of thumb for Ed Poor and Jpatt to remember is: ''Do not waste your time banhammering them what's got the power to unblock themselves!

Did you know "The Obama's [sic paid visit to Indonesia's largest mosque, the Istiqlal Mosque?]" Know it? I don't even understand it. JPratt: "Leftist" Wash U won't pay Bristol Palin with student-generated funds to speak on campus, being as it is the same institution that had communist Van Jones speak last November. Reality: "Leftist" Wash U is the same institution that gave Phyllis Schlafly an honorary PhD and defended doing so in the face of substantial protest from the student community. The "Trustworthy Encyclopedia" endorses "A free press for a free people". Shame the feeling isn't mutual. Ken says, Conservapedia is not a dictionary.

A researcher discovers a striking new axiom of Andy math: one person equals twenty people, so the March for Life reached five million people. The "family friendly" encyclopedia in general, and CP sysops Conservative, Ed Poor, TK and RobSmith in particular, really want you to know about the North American Man-Boy Love Association. You've got mail!!!

Andy Schlafly declares that pages on religion, businesses, products, groups, artists, bands and politics are  unproductive.  Andy's little brother messes with his favorite toy and adds the Palinism "refudiate" to the list of Best Conservative Words (previously removed with the comment "Only a liberal Palin-hater would add that." Hm...). How about "misunderestimate"? Liberals are stunned that the conservative movie 'The King's Speech' defeated the movie promoting the liberal Facebook ...Sometimes these WIGOs just write themselves

Clearly, liberal claptrap was a big problem in 1659. Jpatt adds a New Conservative Word: It is conservative to be an American. Not to be outdone, Andy completes a new layer: It is conservative to be sane. <votecp poll=wigo3993 closed="yes">Space scientist quoted as saying that global warming deniers are "immediately branded as a climate atheist in an atmosphere of climate evangelists." Jpatt, for some incomprehensible reason, considers this a bad thing.

<votecp poll=wigo3992 closed="yes">Andy makes silly Conservapedia even sillier and takes it further away from being a silly encyclopedia with his silly new article: the ever-so-silly Golden Globes, taking place in the silly Beverly Hills. <votecp poll=wigo3991 closed="yes">There goes astronomy! What's next? Physics? Mathematics? Chemistry? (By the way, there's a hell of a lot of parody in physics and chemistry; we at RW have mostly cleaned up maths.)

<votecp poll=wigo3990 closed="yes">Who needs pundits and forecasters to predict the GOP Presidential candidate, when you have Andy's made-up list to refer to? <votecp poll=wigo3989 closed="yes">Furious that his incompetent spelling gave a red-link, Andy makes sure it never happens again. <votecp poll=wigo3988 closed="yes">Having earlier trumpeted his appearance on CP's mainpage, Andy's foray into constitutional law goes 0-2, as North Dakota's Supreme Court rejects his "but... but... Washington's letter is sincere" defence. CP's mainpage remains silent on the matter.

<votecp poll=wigo3987 closed="yes">Conservative: "It must be frustrating for atheists to read the atheism and obesity article and not be able to find a single factual error." Could the lack of facts in the concerned article possibly be a contributing factor? <votecp poll=wigo3986 closed="yes">User: Hey Andy, d'you reckon this article was written by a parodist? Andy: Perhaps this nonsensical comment using the word "liberals" will answer your question? <votecp poll=wigo3985 closed="yes"> Feel like talking about Obesity? Well, you better include a sentence on how atheists are the cause of it.

<votecp poll=wigo3984 closed="yes">Andy... playing with fire again!

<votecp poll=wigo3983 closed="yes">Andy gushes over a revolutionary figure in physics, years ahead of his time, who was gradually vindicated as "evidence mounted to support his theory." The theory in question is that noted liberal falsehood, the Big Bang.

<votecp poll=wigo3981 closed="yes">9 feared dead in irony meter factory explosion as Moonie Creationist Ed Poor tells us liberals base everything on authority and nothing on observations of reality. <votecp poll=wigo3980 closed="yes">Karajou's not going to let liberal notions of 'making sense' get in the way of a good analogy

<votecp poll=wigo3979 closed="yes">JPatt, without evident irony, fights for the hotly contested title of CP's biggest idiot by deciding that it's a core liberal principle to deny freedom to others. This might have more impact if it didn't come after the laundry list of bad, naughty freedoms that JPatt wants to deny people. <votecp poll=wigo3978 closed="yes">A homeschooler wins a contest that clearly has an intellectual focus. And it looks like she's heading to Creationism U to get her education brainwashing. <votecp poll=wigo3977 closed="yes">On the occasion of Wikipedia's 10th birthday, Conservapedia is the proud winner of Time magazine's coveted Most Amusing Alternative Wiki Award.

<votecp poll=wigo3975 closed="yes">Andy is outraged, because apparently he's in a better position to pass judgement than a family member of the individual in question.

<votecp poll=wigo3974 closed="yes">Andy pontificates: Don't listen to them science eggheads; just open a Bible. Then, suddenly remembering that books are full of liberal claptrap and there is only one correct translation of the Bible: Uh, I mean, click on the Conservative Bible Project! <votecp poll=wigo3973 closed="yes">"Look everyone, more people are laughing at us!", says Conservative, as Wired finds his farcical joke articles wonderfully easy targets to generalize about the lunacy of the Right. UPDATE: handed this perfect opportunity to control the image of his site, The Boss instead decides to promote the item to the No.1 Main Page position. Somewhere in Washington, senior Republicans facepalm. <votecp poll=wigo3972 closed="yes">WIkipedia is so biased! It doesn't even call Jared Loughner a nihilistic atheist! Except for the fact that it calls him a "nihilistic atheist". Meh. Facts Schmatcs. Update OK Fine, Wikipedia does mention his nihilism but the edit comment doesn't say so! Hence Wikipedia is biased.

<votecp poll=wigo3971 closed="yes"> User: erm Hitler and Ayn Rand were not liberal Jpatt: yes they were and since you didn't answer my question.

<votecp poll=wigo3970 closed="yes">CP's question: [http://conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template:Mainpageright&diff=839529&oldid=839528 Outrage! How did the mentally unstable gunman get marijuana and why is nobody else talking about this?] Everyone else: Outrage! How did this mentally unstable gunman have no legal impediment to obtaining a gun?! <votecp poll=wigo3969 closed="yes">Oh no! America is increasing aid to the one Muslim country that pretends to like them. More evidence Obama is a Muslim.

<votecp poll=wigo3968 closed="yes">Andy: Those scientists are trying to flummox people with their stupid materialistic explanations for increased bird deaths. It is, of course, far more reasonable just to conclude that God hates birds and has slaughtered them by miracle. Update: Damn you science!

<votecp poll=wigo3967 closed="yes">Joaquín Martínez: 1 in 6 Americans struggling in poverty due to rising medical care costs. It's almost as if the American healthcare system is only good for those who can afford it and could use reform... Perhaps all those poor folks haven't watched the Donna Reed Show Episode 18 to know how good they've got it. <votecp poll=wigo3966 closed="yes">Conservative Christian editor: Why was my account blocked? Uncle Bad Touch: "For protesting against being blocked!" Oh, and send me a writing plan. <votecp poll=wigo3965 closed="yes">Since when did a terrorist stop being someone whose objective is to cause terror, and start being someone who disagrees with us? <votecp poll=wigo3964 closed="yes">CP: '10 year-old girl discovers 240 million year old supernova.' In other breaking news, a 10 year-old girl undermines Conservapedia's entire understanding of the universe. Update: Andy makes her discovery an official achievement by a "teenager," thus threatening the very fabric of space and time, or at least making TerryH's head explode, and changing the definition of 'teenager' in the process

<votecp poll=wigo3963 closed="yes">Americans are buying fewer books. This is a good thing, according to Andy. <votecp poll=wigo3962 closed="yes">And the next Conservative Word is conniption, as in "Aschlafly had a conniption fit when someone challenged him on his conservative viewpoints". <votecp poll=wigo3961 closed="yes">Just what the Trustworthy Encyclopaedia Blog needs on its Main Page: A moronic attempt at humour, with grammatical errors. <votecp poll=wigo3960 closed="yes">It is proven. It is not a human updating MPR, it's a bot using the name ASchlafly. It picks a headline, and a random anti-liberal statement, with no feasible link whatsoever. <votecp poll=wigo3959 closed="yes">A country on the brink of civil war? Conservapedia's not interested. The man clinging to that country's presidency refuses a phone call from Obama? STOP THE PRESS!