Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/August 2009

 Without a hint of irony, TK posts a front page warning to "internet creeps". 🇰🇪 dribbles all over the mainpage about something relating to pecan pie. (in a mere 19 edits). The lib-burr-ruls  Reds Nazis are trying to take over America again. Yawn. Andy improves his Bible translation by having Jesus say "Shut up" instead of "Hold your peace." Without a hint of irony, Conservapedia reveals that the Jokebama poster was made by "just another" lib-burr-rul, despite having drooled all over it before. May the Holy Ghost Holy Force Divine Force be with you. (Because, as Andy says, physics-students-headed-for-atheism might be more appealed to by the phrase "Divine Force" than "Holy shit Ghost".)

 is not responsible for genocidal exterminations of millions of people. But we doubt that'll stop Rob hurling it onto the Main Page of the well known hate site Conservapedia. Now that's Fair Use.

In a free market there is no limit to the number of times you can say "free market" in one paragraph.  Even Conservapedia thinks that the King James Bible version is too liberal for them! Part of their "Conservative Bible project" maybe?

A copious outpouring of crazy: not only would repealing a possibly unconstitutional federal law make a communist state out of America, but Obama is a Red, a Nazi, a heathen, and a supporter of Gestapo-Care besides. (For once, they forgot to add Muslim to the list.)

Ding Ding! Seconds out! It's fair, it's balanced, its... The Bible vs. the Qur'an

What's wrong with reforming health care? We'll have to expend medical resources on everyone, not just the über wealthy.

Andy: Disagree with me on health care? It's because you're a lib-burr-rul gun-control-supporting fascist!

Ed naysays yet another scientific consensus: Second-hand smoke doesn't cause lung cancer.

Ed shows his bitterness over being desysoped at Wikipedia by comparing it to a totalitarian state.

 This'll be fun. <votecp poll=wigo2404 closed="yes">Forget translating the bible, how about translating TK's latest word salad into something that makes sense <votecp poll=wigo2403 closed="yes">Gosh Andy, did you really think the Coalition on Abortion/Breast Cancer would publish a finding that said otherwise? Oh, and this is the link you should use in your broken news item. <votecp poll=wigo2402 closed="yes">This information has been hidden from the public!....unless you just so happened to look elsewhere...like Wikipedia where it's been since April <votecp poll=wigo2401 closed="yes">Ed Poor gets oversight. <votecp poll=wigo2400 closed="yes">4 verses an hour, 40 hours a week equals a year to conservatise the New Testament. More like 2 weeks, until Andy's ADD kicks in and he moves onto his next project. <votecp poll=wigo2399 closed="yes">Ah, the 1950s, that new Eden; all that needs to be said about childhood apparently happened on television in that decade. <votecp poll=wigo2398 closed="yes">America is the One True Superpower; get that through your heads, you lib-burr-rul vandals! <votecp poll=wigo2397 closed="yes">Andy enumerates the benefits of participation in his new Conservative Bible Project. Specifically, if public schools don't allow it, it's beneficial. <votecp poll=wigo2396 closed="yes">"I" is avoided in modern style. Also, grammatically correct sentences are avoided in Andy style. <votecp poll=wigo2395 closed="yes">It's official: <votecp poll=wigo2394 closed="yes">🇰🇪 shows off obsession with long, um, noses. Then, feeling that this ripped-off hack-job image is not netting him enough attention, he moves it to the mainpage. <votecp poll=wigo2393 closed="yes">Andy takes the Coase theorem where it's never gone before <votecp poll=wigo2392 closed="yes">More news from Andy! The bible has lots of "socialist words". Words like "fellow" and "labored". If unchecked, this could lead to a "'social justice' movement". <votecp poll=wigo2391 closed="yes">Surely Uncle Ed is just taking the piss now? <votecp poll=wigo2390 closed="yes">Astrologers are popular among liberals? Tell that to Nancy Reagan. <votecp poll=wigo2389 closed="yes">Boycotting products is now fascist. In response, CP wants you to boycott the boycotters. P.S. All those French products that were boycotted six years ago are now back on the menu, as are McDonald's hamburgers, Pepsi Cola and Ford cars (..three companies boycotted for supporting gay rights). <votecp poll=wigo2388 closed="yes">When writing an article on a country at CP, please stick to our Manual of Style and make sure to include an image of the Leader of the country. For example, here are some despotic demagogic totalitarian dictators one might list.

<votecp poll=wigo2387 closed="yes">Karajou, you may be interested in this article <votecp poll=wigo2386 closed="yes">RJJensen flies his filthy atheistic colours. Update: Andy is not amused. <votecp poll=wigo2385 closed="yes">Jpatt: Oh noes!! Four Christians got decapitated by Moo-slems! What to do? I know! blame Obama! Welcome to Jpatt's world. <votecp poll=wigo2384 closed="yes">Andy stares from the edge, into the abyss of his own insanity, and leaps over the brink. <votecp poll=wigo2383 closed="yes">Even the Bible's too liberal for Andy <votecp poll=wigo2382 closed="yes">Mommie Dearest sez: “Anybody who thinks that health care is going to cost less if the government runs it must believe in the tooth fairy." Replace less with more in that sentence and you've got it. <votecp poll=wigo2381 closed="yes">More reasonable, well-worded opposition to Obamacare: note the Yu vil hab heilth inschuranz! in the caption. <votecp poll=wigo2380 closed="yes">Jpatt: "Hoomschooling way better than public school on academic achievements." On the other hand if you gave them a geology test instead of a standardized test, the average would probably be close to nil; the same goes for Jpatt and a spelling test. <votecp poll=wigo2379 closed="yes">Andy must be easy to live with. Where's my credit card? Have you got my black hat? Who did I lend my Bible to? Oh, I don't give a fuck. <votecp poll=wigo2378 closed="yes">RJJensen makes a substantive contribution to an article on Herbert David Croly. reverts. RJJensen tries again. once again makes clear that only two things are allowed to be said about this fellow: he was a eugenicist and a lib-burr-rul. Update: 's tabula rasa New Battlefield: Margaret Sanger <votecp poll=wigo2377 closed="yes">The Gospel of Mark was most likely written by child as it talks very little about economics. Andy: "The evidence is overwhelming if you have an open mind! See, just look at my wild assertions!" <votecp poll=wigo2376 closed="yes">Andy: "Oh, the Triangle Trade? Just some liberal inventing things for shits'n'giggles." <votecp poll=wigo2375 closed="yes">Among the lib-burr-rul belief systems are now included racism and Darwinism. UPDATE: Add Nazism to that mix. <votecp poll=wigo2374 closed="yes">Andy continues developing his pro-life rants economics lectures: Used car dealers want to hide the mechanical flaws in their lemons; food manufacturers want to hide the fat in their slumgullion; abortion doctors want to hide the murder in their operations. <votecp poll=wigo2373 closed="yes">A totally reasonable question to ask on an economics quiz. <votecp poll=wigo2372 closed="yes">Andy wins the Non Sequitur of the Week award: "A spiral galaxy is suggestive of a young universe." <votecp poll=wigo2371 closed="yes">aSK user LowKey calls TK out on his blatant hypocrisy, a message of truth that survived CP's persistent burning rash a mere 18 minutes. UPDATE Jpatt, with a typical ejaculation of poor grammar, wields the banhammer and the "retired" template. Note the delightful xenophobia in the block comment. UPDATE: Wait for it: 's cowardly but obligatory rangeblock for being "sock of vandal site admin" (which vandal site and which admin, we're wondering). <votecp poll=wigo2370 closed="yes">Mom! Mom! Guess what mommy! Didn't you know?! What? No, I didn't get a job. No, she's not pregnant again. Mom! Listen mom! It's only just the LARGEST ECONOMICS COURSE FOR TEENAGERS IN THE WORLD!!1! (Except for any freshman-level college economics class, of course...) <votecp poll=wigo2369 closed="yes">Andy extrapolates from a single word in the King James Version and comes up with the conclusion that John Mark, the author of the Gospel of Mark, was an eyewitness to Jesus's arrest.UPDATE: This qualifies him for a spot as a high-achieving teenager. Even though he was only ten. <votecp poll=wigo2368 closed="yes">The Associated Press puts forth an article on the current state of the Manson Family. RobS immediately concludes that the lib-burr-rul media are nostalgic about the Manson murders. <votecp poll=wigo2367 closed="yes">Daniel1212's latest insight: The Qur'an commands violence against non-believers, while "Such commands and exhortations are shown to be radically contrary to the teaching of the Bible."

<votecp poll=wigo2365 closed="yes">TK deletes the category Jewish People because "we don't identify by religion unless complellng [sic] reason to do so." Like if they're Muslims, for example. <votecp poll=wigo2364 closed="yes">Wikipedia is in a terrible state, with just 146,000 active users. If only they were a Trusworthy Encyclopedia, with nearly 100 users. <votecp poll=wigo2363 closed="yes">If Democrats don't like astroturfed GOP plants their own constituents asking them questions, they'll go down "that slope to totalitarianism" by >gasp!< criticizing them. <votecp poll=wigo2362 closed="yes">Sarah Palin: It's EVIL to have to stand in front of Obama's bureaucrats and have them decide whether you get money for health care or not. But of course she has no problem with the insurance company bureaucrats deciding the same thing. <votecp poll=wigo2361 closed="yes">A bill to make illegal drug users eligible for federal student aid "should pass quickly" because Obama used illegal drugs at one point. Never mind that this is also true of the President who was in office when the drug users were made ineligible... and that the intervening President also had a "history" of being "young and irresponsible". <votecp poll=wigo2360 closed="yes">🇰🇪, who thinks the White House sets the money supply, wants to get teh homskollars more involved with his pet article. They did abandon the SES application, right?

<votecp poll=wigo2359 closed="yes">🇰🇪: [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template%3AMainpageright&diff=690274&oldid=690259 'Ha! Let's all make fun of the guy with a stutter!']

<votecp poll=wigo2358 closed="yes">Breaking news: An obscure ever-more-popular blog had 348 visitors the day before yesterday! UPDATE: burns the news item.

<votecp poll=wigo2357 closed="yes">: We can't have the suggestion that conservatism causes mental illness! Conservapedia: zero in mental problems!

<votecp poll=wigo2356 closed="yes">Jpatt: Look, the liberals say that conservatism is dead, but in fact, 3 of the top four books debunk liberalism! His source? Why, the conservative New York Times, of course!

<votecp poll=wigo2355 closed="yes">OMG! Lil Phyl steps in: "Relativity has been met with much resistance in the scientific world." Right, Phyllis; of a surety your physics professors at Princeton would be happy to hear about that resistance.

<votecp poll=wigo2354 closed="yes">Rush Limbaugh compares Obama to the Nazis simply for disagreeing with him; Nancy Pelosi makes a true factual claim about people who disrupt a democratic process. Conservapedia apparently thinks these incidents are comparable.

<votecp poll=wigo2353 closed="yes">Apparently, it's ok to use those nasty 'ACORN tactics'....so long as you're a conservative <votecp poll=wigo2352 closed="yes">Andy on wormholes: "Its relatively unattractive name has probably hurt its popularity and interest level among the general public" <votecp poll=wigo2351 closed="yes">The family feud heats up! Several weeks ago Andy put in this inane drivel about how black holes are not falsifiable and thus fail a requirement to be science. Today Roger removed it, and Andy put it back in. C'mon, Andy! You're not going to be pushed around by a Ph.D. math/science expert, are you? <votecp poll=wigo2350 closed="yes">How many little lies does it take to build a trusworthy encyclopedia? TK: aSK and CP are trading IP addresses. PJR: No TK: listing your email is mandatory when signing up Sign-up dialog: No <votecp poll=wigo2349 closed="yes">Lib-burr-rul thuggery from the White House, as Obama >gasp!< objects to the activities of astroturfed Republican gate-crashers grassroots conservative activists. <votecp poll=wigo2348 closed="yes">Conservapedia publishes its hit naughty list... UPDATE: Oh dear, did we stir up some memories you'd rather forget?... <votecp poll=wigo2347 closed="yes">In a startling role-reversal, TK is the reasonable guy who asks fellow sysop Addison for his opinion on an article... and less than ten minutes later, Ed rushes in and deletes the entire article because it's Evil Pop Culture. <votecp poll=wigo2346 closed="yes">Jpatt: "Everyone is a sinner," so it is inappropriate and unencyclopedic to have an article on conservative hypocrisy. But it is, of course, perfectly all right to have one on. <votecp poll=wigo2345 closed="yes">Gasp! The center-right, Iraq-War-supporting Liberal-Whacky Washington Post publishes a column from an art-critic who dares to criticize the Jokebama poster! <votecp poll=wigo2344 closed="yes">New user requests mentoring and meets the usual half-baked indifference and unprovoked hostility. Until... the perfect man for the job volunteers himself! SEE: Ed's great with the new guys. <votecp poll=wigo2343 closed="yes">Andy proves his complete illiteracy, saying that Wikipedia conceals and omits how Riemann tried to prove Genesis mathematically. He obviously read "To this end, he even tried to prove mathematically the correctness of the Book of Genesis" as "Riemann was an atheist and an evilutionist." <votecp poll=wigo2342 closed="yes">Conservapedia shatters another irony meter! This time, they defend illegal immigrants who were victims of sexual assault from a cop. Possibly one of the rarest things ever (despite their political agenda)! But that doesn't stop them from doing their usual gay-bashing. <votecp poll=wigo2341 closed="yes">[http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Template%3AMainpageright&diff=689362&oldid=689361 People getting involved in debates?! We can't have that!] <votecp poll=wigo2340 closed="yes">There's malicious material on social networking sites!? You know what...you could be right... <votecp poll=wigo2339 closed="yes">You know, for a map, this is incredibly good work, Karajou! You should do this professionally! <votecp poll=wigo2338 closed="yes">RobS shows his politically-correct side. <votecp poll=wigo2337 closed="yes">Anecdotal vs. scientific evidence, part umpteen; it is particularly ironic that to make this point, Andy should rely on data that is untrusworthy. <votecp poll=wigo2336 closed="yes">RJJensen notes that J. Edgar Hoover was a criminal. RobS removes this piece of propaganda pushed by Reds, hippies, and the KGB (not to mention the U.S. Senate). <votecp poll=wigo2335 closed="yes">News Update! Bill Clinton gets North Korea to release two reporters. Conservapedia's Response: Complain about giving North Korea Czechoslovakia Appeasement! UPDATE: Conservapedia is apparently unable to tell the difference between North Korea and South Korea. <votecp poll=wigo2334 closed="yes">Now that the "Democarts" are giving Cash for Clunkers cutting taxes for the rich, RobS is suddenly opposed to such tax cuts. <votecp poll=wigo2333 closed="yes">The gossip-free encyclopedia adds a report about the most significant event in the life of a lib-burr-rul journalist (or the only one in the article on her, anyway). <votecp poll=wigo2332 closed="yes">RobS improves the Obamunism article with links to some conspiracy-theoretic blather trusworthy reports, which include an hilarious disclaimer, "Nothing in this report shall be construed as an attempt to influence any political campaign on behalf of any candidate for public office or any political party." <votecp poll=wigo2331 closed="yes">🇰🇪 winds up the irony knob: Bush's and Obama's corporate bailouts are "fascist policies." UPDATE: Does RJJensen read WIGO? UPDATE: 🇰🇪 deletes any mention of Bush. <votecp poll=wigo2330 closed="yes">🇰🇪 adds a new word: Obamunism! Which then is made into breaking news! UPDATE: 🇰🇪 throws in a for the heck of it. <votecp poll=wigo2329 closed="yes">User: You're damaging your credibility by displaying a forged birth certificate. : [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Main_Page&diff=next&oldid=688656 We display credible news stories. We are at war with Eastasia.] (And you're probably affiliated with the Vandal/Parodist Site.) <votecp poll=wigo2328 closed="yes">Andy: Moral relativity undermines self-defense, thus leading to gun control and psychiatric problems. <votecp poll=wigo2327 closed="yes">Ed shatters most irony meters on Manhattan Island: "Occam's razor could use a good stropping here;" let's just admit that the Soviet Union conspired to murder JFK. <votecp poll=wigo2326 closed="yes">Ed on subatomic physics: The Designer is cool and can get really intricate with his legos. Also, we apparently have a "pantheon" of subatomic particles. <votecp poll=wigo2325 closed="yes">It's Andy Insight Time, as he provides us with a handy list of Concepts Invented By Religions. The accuracy is astounding for an Andy essay, with only an 80% error rate. <votecp poll=wigo2324 closed="yes"> waxes all offended as Muslim fundamentalist whackjobs execute eight Christians by fire, apparently forgetting about the European witch-hunts, and also how the civilian death count from the Iraq War is now in the six figures. <votecp poll=wigo2323 closed="yes">Ed helpfully improves Conservapedia's mainpage by fleshing out a two-day-old newsbite. <votecp poll=wigo2322 closed="yes">Andy: "No one had zero until the (Asian) Indians invented it many centuries after Christ." Sure, Andy; let's not mention that the American ones had zero in their calendar in 500 B.C. UPDATE: A user points out this fun fact; replies with a jab at science, while Andy replies in the usual manner, viz., LA-LA-LA-LA-LA; I CAN'T HEAR YOU! UPDATE: User responds: Here's your source: Conservapedia! <votecp poll=wigo2321 closed="yes"> sez: Hawaii won't confirm the Prez's birth certificate is real!!! Hawaii sez: "...they have once again checked and confirmed that President Barack Obama was born in Hawaii and is a natural-born American citizen, and therefore meets a key constitutional requirement for being president." Probably accompanied by a deep sigh. <votecp poll=wigo2320 closed="yes"> asks: "Is this smoking gun?" Why, thank you for asking, TK. No, it is in fact another tedious iteration in WND's long-running series, "Why the Nigger Islamic Socialist Ain't My President." <votecp poll=wigo2319 closed="yes">🇰🇪 posts drawing a comparison that is, um, sort of out of la-la land left field. <votecp poll=wigo2318 closed="yes"> Hey, everybody, check it out! A Christian rock band is marginally successful! The triumph of Christianity is imminent! <votecp poll=wigo2317 closed="yes">A new mystery! <votecp poll=wigo2316 closed="yes">TK criticises the low standards of an article. Obviously the work of an incompetent editor. BONUS LULZ: TK adds a Wikipedia-style <votecp poll=wigo2315 closed="yes">In a mere 39 edits, 🇰🇪 updates us on the day's events spouts some of his patented meaningless drivel <votecp poll=wigo2314 closed="yes">Ed Poornography tells it like it is: "CP wants high encyclopedic standards, but admins will delete entries they don't like, without checking the facts first... even if they are correct." (Oh, and disagreeing with an admin is, of course, a blockable offence.) <votecp poll=wigo2313 closed="yes">Karajou posts more birther propaganda (taking a blog post as fact) dating back a year, before the election even occurred. <votecp poll=wigo2312 closed="yes">Quick as a flash, Ed Poornography begins cleaning up the "mess" left behind by Tolkiendil... a mere 8 months after blocking him for "Inserting nonsense or gibberish into pages." <votecp poll=wigo2311 closed="yes">Ed Poor creates an article about scientific fraud, then creates an article about the American Association for the Advancement of Science and begins to watch the watchdog, creating a conspiracy theory alleging that the organization was involved in scientific fraud itself. This would have every AAAS scientist facepalming by now (if they read CP...)! <votecp poll=wigo2310 closed="yes">Kendoll: I'll stick a fake ciggy in his mouth, no one ... <votecp poll=wigo2309 closed="yes">Jpatt wants to blatantly deny the existence of Log Cabin Republicans by vaporizing a user's comment.