Fun:Republican Party Satanism conspiracy

The Republican Party Satanism conspiracy is a conspiracy involving the Republican Party's secretive ties to Satanism. Despite being considered the party of Bible-loving Christians, Republicans regularly partake in Satanic rituals affirming their devotion to Satan.

When the Republicans adopted the elephant as their animal of choice over 100 years ago, they knew clever like  would realize that the tusks are a tribute to goat horns, often associated with Satan worship. But knowing that these liberal Ivy tower academics like to hoard all secretive knowledge, they said "screw it" and, for the first time, brought their Satanism into public.

The party chooses to host its headquarters and events in places of Satanic importance. The RNC headquarters, for example, the biggest presumed hot-spot of Republican Satanic activity, is in Washington, D.C., whose streets specifically got designed by likely Satanist to form a pentagram like the ones on the elephant symbol.

The Republicans are also the party of the rich. Jesus hated rich folks, and you know who's pretty much the opposite of Jesus? The devil. Why would supposed Jesus-loving Republicans ignore the guy's prejudices if they didn't worship his nemesis? Exactly.

List of proofs that support the conspiracy

 * The pentagrams on the elephant symbol; especially disturbing is the fact that they are upside-down stars. A definitive satanic symbol. They go unnoticed evidently by the so-called Christian Republican voting block, who are ignorant as hell. The goat horns up.
 * The resemblance between elephant tusks and goat horns
 * John Boehner's skin color
 * Caring only for life before birth; not caring about post-natal children is vital for sacrificing them.
 * Dick Cheney
 * Conservatives like Larry Craig and Ted Haggard turning out to be gay, a prominent symptom of Satanism.