Fun talk:Jesus

OK, it may be a little too tongue in cheek. But it's mostly accurate, right? human be in 14:40, 3 June 2007 (CDT)

Merge
with Jesus?--Bob_M (talk) 16:22, 6 July 2007 (CDT)
 * I'd argue no, the two articles are quite different. The other one is fact-based and boring.  This one tells the real truth and is funny.  But, who am I to say, I wrote most of it. human be in
 * OK - I take your point, but it's arguably a bit confusing. A link between the two - saying a more serious/more facetious version can be found here? (or there)?--Bob_M (talk) 01:47, 7 July 2007 (CDT)
 * I think are linked, but you're right, the link should say what you said. Esp. so people don't think this one is all we have to say about JC!  The link on this one should go at the top, on the other article, at the bottom. human be in 12:19, 7 July 2007 (CDT)
 * OK, I did the link here. Oh, and a note to any future editor trying to clean up the mainspace, I would not be offended at all if this was moved to essay:, or even ACD:. human be in 12:23, 7 July 2007 (CDT)

RET4W65
jeejus crist is c00l lol StupidIdiot 02:41, 1 November 2007 (EDT) ````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Article swap
Why was that done, again? human  12:11, 8 April 2008 (ED

Inclusion of implications of Nicene Creed?
The followers of Jesus, many years later, comes up with a more complicated lineage of Jesus (the Nicene Creed), that either Jesus is His own father (If the 3 entity of Trinity is each other) or God the Father isn't exactly the father of Jesus(If the 3 entity of Trinity is not each other).

Shall a rewrite of that be included? Thieh 01:51, 6 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Not in this article, no. This one is "silly". Perhaps at the mainspace article?  02:56, 6 May 2009 (UTC)

New Section
Added a new section that I believe should be in the main article. Put it here for now.--Brendiggg (talk) 15:30, 2 June 2010 (UTC)


 * Pasting it here, it really doesn't fit the tone. Might need to simply be its own article somewhere?  22:17, 2 June 2010 (UTC)

But He Was Right Up There With Gandhi and The Buddha, Right?
OK, Jesus might not have been the Son of God but he was one of history's nicest guys, surely! Following are a few quotes from the Lamb of God, Prince of Peace:

Spoiler alert: lots of wailing and gnashing of teeth


 * But the children of the kingdom [Jews] shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. - Matt 8:12
 * Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. - Matt 25:41
 * Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace but a sword. - Matt 10:34
 * But Jesus said unto him [a disciple whose father just died], Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead. - Matt 8:22
 * I have come to bring fire to the earth. And how I wish it were blazing already! - Luke 12:49
 * Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell? - Matt 23:33
 * The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity;And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth. - Matt 13:42
 * So shall it be at the end of the world: the angels shall come forth, and sever the wicked from among the just, And shall cast them into the furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth. - Matt 13:50
 * For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death. - Matt 15:4
 * Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness, there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. - Matt 22:13
 * But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be. - Matt 24:37
 * The lord of that servant shall come in a day when he looketh not for him, and in an hour that he is not aware of,And shall cut him asunder, and appoint him his portion with the hypocrites: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. - Matt 24:51
 * And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. - Matt 25:30
 * But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him. - Luke 12:5
 * If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. - Luke 14:26
 * But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me. - Luke 19:27 (!!!)
 * He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him. - John 3:36
 * If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned. - John 15:6

Jesus did have a cameo appearance in Revelations also:


 * I...have the keys of hell and of death. - Rev 1:18
 * And I will kill her children with death [just after I eat my dinner with food and write a poem with poetry]. - Rev 2:23

(end of cut and paste referred to in previous section) 22:17, 2 June 2010 (UTC)