Template:Random Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris has a pet kitten - every night for a snack.

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

Scotty in Star Trek often says “Ye cannae change the laws of physics.” This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.

Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.

The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Chuck Norris threw it.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

Chuck Norris can revert and ban faster than ASchlafly.

ASchlafly once tried to banhammer Chuck Norris from Conservapedia. For revenge, Chuck decided to regularly beat the crap out of CP's servers to take out his frustrations.