Fun:Derp web adventure

This page serves as an "adventure" HTML game. Just click links and have fun! Keep in mind that the whole adventure is on one page so avoid scrolling too far — bars like the one below indicate to stop scrolling. Click here to start.

Start
You are on you YouTube and you stumble across the video titled Derp web: How to Access a Hidden World on the Internet''. Should you bother clicking this video? Action prompt:
 * Sure, why not?
 * Nah, looks like stupid clickbait.

''

Nah
''A life with little curiosity leads to a life missed opportunities, for better or for worse. But in this case, did you really miss something worth experiencing — or does curiosity really kill the cat? Return to the starting point to see an alternate fate that had awaited you.''


 * Return to the beginning
 * Get me outta here.

Welcome
"You click the thumbnail of the video and the page loads. Inside the video frame, you see a young teenager with an energetic voice who says:"

Hey, you. Yes, you. You a gullible person? Do you have an Internet connection? Do you like to explore? Do you have money to blow? If you answered yes, no, or maybe to any of those questions, then the DERP WEB is for you, bro! What's that? Welp, I guess I, Take Down Mahn, need to explain it to you then.

The Derp Web is a hidden society of illegal activity. It's the censored part of the interwerbz because it's censored by the government. No one knows the true size of the dark net, but it's speculated to be 10 times larger than the surface web.


 * Drugz
 * An Artificial intelligence called CAIMEO
 * Cheese pizza and pepperoni pizza
 * Secret of Atlantis
 * Illuminati / Freemasonry infoz
 * Nudez
 * Hitmenz 4 hire
 * Hackz and info to become a hacker.
 * Legit red roomz (can confirm they are real) (don't ask what the black roomz are, that's racist)
 * Mind control information / MKULTRA

As you can see, the derp web is a scary place filled with crime, hackers, and pados. I mahself seek out these sick pablos with permission of da FBI, the Flower Bed Incorprashun. Are you MAN enough to *click* go on the derp webz? Well my website in the description will help you out with navigating so check it out. If you want to see me surf that danke werb wave then check out my vydahs. If ya wanna access this derp web then go on mah webshit.

"The description reads the following:"

Infoz on the derp web in my webshit: goatse.fuck If ya wanna see my fayce while surfin check out a vydah like meTu.be/v?=s2d$g^b

Should you click one of the links?


 * Check the other video out.
 * Check the comments.
 * Go on his website.
 * This is stupid, bye.
 * No, go to goatse.info instead.

Surfin The Derp Web
"The page loads and a video appears to be buffering as indicated by a loading animation inside the video's boundaries. The loading animation fades and you are greeted with a familiar, energetic, and confident face inside a small box in the upper right hand corner. The rest of the screen is dominated by what appears to be a browser page in fullscreen. The familiar face initiates the video with a boisterous introduction:"

Alright bros, I'm Take Dern Mahn and today, we're gonna check out *click* a website I found on the derp web. Keep in my the derp web is really big so I had to go through a lot for you. It's larger than mah nuts so it's really big, amrite.

The website we have here is a red room. "We will be streaming this astounding event via the TOR network with our high capacity servers in 1080P. High-fidelity sound will also be included in this stream." I can confirm this is legit 'cause I spent money on this and got trauma after seein' da stream for a couple seconds. I did this for YOU ALL, mah brahs.

...

Yeah this is all really messed up. Can't belive the gummit *click* allows this... Yeah you can sign up if you waanna...

"The screen haphazardly changes to a black screen with the video of the host jumping to a different shot."

Alight so that's it today. Tune in for mah next vydah. Remember to like, comment, and subscybe! *click*

"The description reads the following:"

Infoz on the derp web in my webshit: goatse.fuck If ya wanna see the intro to derp web meTu.be/v?=-+2#2$bv

Should you click one of the links?


 * Check the other video out.
 * Check the comments.
 * Go on his website.
 * This is stupid, bye.
 * No, go to goatse.info instead.

Surfin The Derp Web-Comments
What do you do now?


 * Scoll up.
 * This is stupid, bye.

Surfin The Derp Web-pause
''The video has reached the end while you were reading the comments and as a result the video is currently paused. You notice that reccomended videos are now displayed that includes the duck song video.''

The description for the video reads the following:

Infoz on the derp web in my webshit: goatse.fuck If ya wanna see the intro to derp web meTu.be/v?=-+2#2$bv

Should you click one of the link?


 * Check the other video out.
 * Check the comments.
 * Go on his website.
 * This is stupid, bye.
 * No, go to goatse.info instead.
 * DUCK SONG DUCK SONG DUCK SONG.

Welcome-video-pause
''The video has reached the end while you were reading the comments and as a result the video is currently paused. You notice that reccomended videos are now displayed that includes the duck song video.''

The description for the video reads the following:

Infoz on the derp web in my webshit: goatse.fuck If ya wanna see my fayce while surfin check out a video like meTu.be/v?=s2d$g^b

Should you click one of the link?


 * Check the other video out.
 * Check the comments.
 * Go on his website.
 * This is stupid, bye.
 * No, go to goatse.info instead.
 * DUCK SONG DUCK SONG DUCK SONG.

Duck Song
You click the recommended video and forget all about the derp web...

''A life with little curiosity leads to a life missed opportunities, for better or for worse. But in this case, did you really miss something worth experiencing — or does curiosity really kill the cat? Return to the starting point to see an alternate fate that had awaited you.''


 * Return to the beginning
 * Get me outta here.

Welcome-Comments
What do you do now?


 * Scoll up.
 * This is stupid, bye.

goat.se
"You type the URL goatse.info into the navigation bar and press enter" Some things are best left unseen.


 * Scrub your eyes with soap and try again
 * Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope

Goatse.fuck
Hello everyone my name is Take Dern Mahn. My website is about the derp webz and therefore contains some nasty stuff not suitable for pizza. Are you 18 minutes or older?

Well are you?
 * Sure am
 * Am not

Am not
''The link leads you out of the site to goggle.com. Apparently, someone's never heard of lying about their age on a website before.''


 * Return to the beginning
 * Get me outta here.

18
Let's go brah. What type of operating are you going to start out with to surf the derp web wave????


 * Windows
 * Hardened gentoo
 * Mac
 * Linux/debian (these are the same thing according to pro computer reserch)
 * Tails

Operating System Windows
Excellent choice. No one can hacks windows because it's really bruh secure. Let's continue and download Tor Bowser.

Operating System Mac
Rad choice. Macs never get viruses. I'm ex-FBI so I know. lol. Let's continue and download Tor Bowser.

Operating System Linux
Gnarly choice. Using Linux means you are a computer pro, they are 100% secure. Source: I'm a computer scientist. Let's continue and download Tor Bowser.

Operating System2
Whoa, whoa whoa, bundle of sticks. Those operating systems are like, not cool and not usable, bro. Try something usable like windowz to surf that wave. Click here to go back.

Tor Bowser


Tor Browser is the tool to access thi hidden internet. Anyone can download this.

Now that you have Tor Browser you can now explore teh derp webz!!!!111 Click here to start surfin!

"Guess you're on you're own now, there's no turning back now. Hopefully, the sound information will help you on your quest. Go! Start your derp web adventure!"

Webshits
''As you look at the collection of links, you are filled with wonderment of what they hold. Remember to use your browser's back arrow to return to this page if you want to go return here.''

This is a website full of derp web pages. I use my onion crawler to find these ultra secret webshits. Click on one.


 * http://1111111111hldsq4k.oniony/ ⓘ lol first
 * http://222222222hldsq4k.oniony/ ⓘ 100x Your Coins in 24 Hours - Officially Hidden Service Anonymous
 * http://222222442hldsq4k.oniony/ ⓘ 100x Your Coins in 24 Hours - Officially Hidden Service Anonymous
 * http://22222222ghldsq4k.oniony/ ⓘ 100x Your Coins in 24 Hours - Officially Hidden Service Anonymous
 * http://222211222hldsq4k.oniony/ ⓘ 100x Your Coins in 24 Hours - Officially Hidden Service Anonymous
 * http://222211222hldsfed.oniony/ ⓘ 100x Your Coins in 24 Hours - Officially Hidden Service Anonymous
 * http://222211222hldfsdf.oniony/ ⓘ 100x Your Coins in 24 Hours - Officially Hidden Service Anonymous
 * http://222211222dfsdfsd.oniony/ ⓘ 100x Your Coins in 24 Hours - Officially Hidden Service Anonymous
 * http://222211222efdfdff.oniony/ ⓘ 100x Your Coins in 24 Hours - Officially Hidden Service Anonymous
 * http://222211222fertert.oniony/ ⓘ 100x Your Coins in 24 Hours - Officially Hidden Service Anonymous
 * http://222211222gg3fg2g.oniony/ ⓘ 100x Your Coins in 24 Hours - Officially Hidden Service Anonymous
 * http://222211222hrt4ty8.oniony/ ⓘ A 100x Your Bitcoins in 24 Hours, Invest Bitcoin Get Rich Quickly Return in Max 24 hours
 * http://222211222irt5rtt.oniony/ ⓘ 100x Your Coins in 24 Hours - Officially Hidden Service Anonymous
 * http://222211222j2df5d4.oniony/ ⓘ 100x Your Coins in 24 Hours - Officially Hidden Service Anonymous
 * http://222211222k2d34d4.oniony/ ⓘ 100x Your Coins in 24 Hours - Officially Hidden Service Anonymous
 * http://222211222t233gt4.oniony/ ⓘ 100x Your Coins in 24 Hours - Officially Hidden Service Anonymous
 * http://451t2wwvj5c45agi.oniony/ ⓘ You are in Tor
 * http://711qugq4d142l3wx.oniony/ ⓘ *** Deep Web Radio ***
 * http://711qugq43142l3wx.oniony/ ⓘ *** Deep Web Radio ***
 * http://6i35kgos66vs6f44.oniony/ ⓘ Russian Hackers
 * http://6i35kgos66vv5678.oniony/ ⓘ Russian Hackers


 * http://bloodredv1Qv4vky.oniony/ ⓘ Red Room
 * http://blendd3fbeg5h4q7.oniony/ ⓘ Bitcoin Blender, anonymous bitcoin mixer
 * http://hfmfst17edhgfndk.oniony/ ⓘ
 * http://hotcheesekevq1dz.oniony/ ⓘ Hot cheese pizza images
 * http://rentahaxclcux2wq.oniony/ ⓘ Rent-A-Hacker
 * http://rentahaxcl441111.oniony/ ⓘ Rent-A-Hacker
 * http://secretsxsrvlpawm.oniony/ ⓘ Time to Confess

http://rentahaxclcux2wq.oniony/
Rent-A-Hacker

Experienced hacker offering his services! (Illegal) Hacking and social engineering is my bussiness since i was 16 years old, never had a real job so i had the time to get really good at hacking and i made a good amount of money last +-20 years. I have worked for other people before, now im also offering my services for everyone with enough cash here. Prices: Im not doing this to make a few bucks here and there, im not from some crappy eastern europe country and happy to scam people for 50 euro. Im a proffessional computer expert who could earn 50-100 euro an hour with a legal job. So stop reading if you dont have a serious problem worth spending some cash at. Prices depend alot on the problem you want me to solve, but minimum amount for smaller jobs is 200 euro. You can pay me anonymously using Bitcoin. Technical skills: - Web (HTML, PHP, SQL, APACHE) - C/C++, Assembler, Delphi - 0day Exploits, Highly personalized trojans, Bots, DDOS - Spear Phishing Attacks to get accounts from selected targets - Basically anything a hacker needs to be successfull, if i dont know it, ill learn it very fast - Anonymity: noone will ever find out who i am specially in mid-day Social Engineering skills: - Very good written and spoken (phone calls) english and german. - If i cant hack something technically ill make phone calls or write emails to the target to get the needed information, i have had people make things you wouldnt belive really often. - Alot of experience with security penetration testing inside big corporations. What ill do: Ill do anything for money, im not a pussy :) if you want me to destroy some bussiness or a persons life, ill do it! Some examples: Simply hacking something technically Causing alot of technical trouble on websites / networks to disrupt their service with DDOS and other methods. Economic espionage Getting private information from someone Ruining your opponents, bussiness or private persons you dont like, i can ruin them financially and or get them arrested, whatever you like. If you want someone to get known as a corn porn user, no problem.

Email me at sdfsdf@sigaint.org for an offer.

http://6i35kgos66vs6f44.oniony/
We are a group of russian hackers based in Russia We offer the following services: Hacking services, 0.5 BTC per account hacked (we will get you the password to access the account) Facebook account hacking Twitter account hacking Linkedin account hacking Hotmail account hacking Instagram account hacking Yahoo mail account hacking Gmail account hacking Etc. Contact us for specifics requests. School, University, College Grade change service. Contact us to get a quote. Custom Ransomware Virus, 2 BTC each.

We will customize CTB-Locker virus to your specifications. Distributed denial of service (DDoS) attacks 400 Gbps, 24 hours, 3 BTC. We will get down any website for 24 hours using our worldwide botnet. Contact us at russiahackers@sigaint.org and describe which service you need. All services are executed within 24 hours.

-BEGIN PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK- Version: GnuPG v2

1337 -END PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK -

http://711qugq4d142l3wx.oniony/
Deep Web Radio

 Mount Point /AnonyJazz -- M3U XSPF Stream Title: 	Anony JaZZ Stream Description: 	Really a lot of jazz... Content Type: 	audio/mpeg Bitrate: 	32 Current Listeners: 	4 Peak Listeners: 	11 Stream Genre: 	Jazz and Latin Stream URL: 	http://711qugq4d142l3wx.oniony/AnonyJazz Current Song: 	Miles Davis - Hannibal

 Mount Point /AnonyJazz -- M3U XSPF Stream Title: 	DarkRet Stream Description: 	Vulgar display of... what? Content Type: 	audio/mpeg Bitrate: 	48 Current Listeners: 	0 Peak Listeners: 	17 Stream Genre: 	Hard & Heavy Stream URL: 	http://711qugq4d142l3wx.oniony/DarkRet Current Song: Support Deep Web Radio - ฿itcoin donation: 1bHgdBxL1ubvepnf6ez44ijuviP5p9Pp2#QGrmh

502 Proxy Error
Proxy Error

The proxy server received an invalid response from an upstream server. The proxy server could not handle the request GET /AnonyJazz.m3u.

Reason: DNS lookup failure for: 711qugq4d142l3wx.oniony

http://451t2wwvj5c45agi.oniony/
Ola, seja bem vindo a um site acessivel apenas pela rede do Tor.

http://1111111111hldsq4k.oniony/
!!You Are Retarded!!



" *sigh* "

http://222222222hldsq4k.oniony/
How to multiply your Bitcoins hundredfold in a day?

Hey there, N00b. Please give me money in my bitcoin wallet:

11oXzjNSE8wgdn59D3gyN48bm9IZ2JgQQ What will you do?
 * Donate
 * Don't and leave

Donate
''You donate some bitcoins from your bitcoin wallet. After 24 hours you never get your bitcoins multiplied. Then you realize that website gave you information on how to multiply your bitcoins: set up a website telling users that you will multiply their bitcoins.''

Go back

http://hotcheesekevq1dz.oniony
" WHOOooooooooooooooooooOOAAAAA! "



What will you do?
 * Omg so hot. Explore and download all that hot cheese pizza
 * Go back, this is so sick — they haven't even been in the oven for at least 18 minutes yet...

Stay
"Wow the website is so great. All the cheese pizza you ever wanted but then you get the message:"

"If you want some even naughtier pics, we got cheese pizza with sausage for you naughty people out there. Contact us to be a premium pizza eater at cheeser@hotcheesekevq1dz.oniony"

''Sounds like a meaty deal. Take them up on the offer?''


 * YES PLEASE
 * Nah, screw buying stuff online

Buy
''They didn't lie, you got pics of pepperoni pizza, more than you could ever need. Eventually the site gets taken down due to the Italian Law Enforcement claiming it was their stolen pizza... Hope you enjoyed yourself, sicko.''

"They didn't lie, you got pics of pepperoni pizza, more than you could ever need. The site was legit, but opsec was shit. The Italian Law Enforcement found you and put you in a place for degenerates like you — jail. A suitable fate for someone like you."
 * Back to the archive

GAME OVER

''Well well well, curiosity can kill the cat. Be careful where you click and you will live without a nick!''
 * Get me outta here.
 * Get me outta here.

http://hfmfst17edhgfndk.oniony/
"You encounter a forum that appears dubious in quality."

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http://secretsxsrvlpawm.oniony/
Confess Your Secrets  Everyone has secrets - Time to tell the world about yours.

Add a Secret • View a Secret

Add a Secret
Error. Something went wrong. Try again next time.

http://bloodredv1Qv4vky.oniony/
Welcome, Red Room enthusiasts! You have finally reached the darknet's darkest and greatest Red Room. Very soon, we will bring our "roomie" into this red room, and even though she has at this time not the first idea yet of what is going to happen to her, she will be tortured, and then she will die.

And You Could Be A Spectator!
We will be streaming this astounding event via the TOR network with our high capacity servers in 1080P. High-fidelity sound will also be included in this stream.

Take Part In This Once-in-a-Lifetime Experience
To be present at this incredible, never to be repeated event, you need to pay 0.5 BTC. Yes, you read that right: for a mere 0.5 BTC, you can be there, and enjoy the spectacle and you will already be in your front row seat.

This memorable event will last approximately one hour, and will begin at 00:00 UTC, on Saturday Oct 15th.

Applications for entry to the Oct 1st event are now closed. Our next event will be held Oct 8th.

Applications for entry to the Oct 8th event are now closed. Application is however now open for the next event which will be on Oct 15th.

Applications for entry to the Oct 15th event are currently open.

Pro Rata Viewing
If you are unable or unwilling to deposit 0.5 BTC, you can send any other reasonable amount. Your viewing time will be restricted in accordance. Of course we recommend that you stay til the bitter end!

Interested?
Apply on this page, indicating your computer's Operating System and an email address at which you can be reached.

You will receive a unique bitcoin wallet address, to which you will send 0.5 BTC, or any other amount as explained above.

After your payment has been finalised, you will receive an email with the personalised software required to access the Red Room server. Please make sure you specify the correct Operating System in your email, as you will only be sent this software once. After you install this program, a countdown timer will appear, indicating when the streaming will begin.

When the program starts, it will allow your computer to acquire a class E IP address in our subnet and thus become a node on our private local net, which functions as a low-latency overlay through the Tor network. This will shield the data stream from any kind of inspection.

Once the streaming completes, this software will automatically remove itself from you computer, deleting every last trace of itself.

Approximately 24 hours before the start of the stream, you will receive another email alerting you to this fact. After this time, new users will no longer be able to apply for the upcoming stream.

We promise you an unforgettable experience!

Review One of the guests to our Sep 24th event, whose demand to remain anomymous[sic] we gladly submit to, has graciously agreed for the following review to be published here.

"The girl was led into the room with a blindfold on. I think she must have been told to expect something good, because she was smiling and giggling. When the blindfold came off, she observed her surroundings, and when she noticed the power tools on the workbench next to the gynecologist's chair, her smile disappeared. When the one of the masked men grabbed her and dragged her to the chair, she became more or less hysterical. I have to admit to having my hand over my eyes for the most part after that, but her screaming did not really stop until about three quarters of an hour later. By the way, don't let that put you off, the audio in the stream never did sound distorted. The video was very high resolution and didn't buffer at any time. Also, I noticed there was plenty of evidence to reassure the viewer that it was live and not prerecorded: in the background were a clock, some current newspapers, a screen showing a live news feed, and so on. It was like you said, pretty well unforgettable. I'm also just going to throw this out here: there weren't any clowns present. Anyway, thanks for letting me have a discount on the next event in return for me writing this review." § or murder plain and simple, if that's more your thing

Sign Up
Email us to express your interest in attending the Red Room.

Please indicate your Operating System and its version (eg. "Windows XP x64", "OS X v.10.3").

Please indicate an email address at which you can be reached.

After we receive your payment we will contact you via your supplied email address with the necessary details.

Submit your payment of 0.5 BTC to the following deposit address:

137DqzZLvs5pYYkQzNGKUZfGKQLPcKoFwr


 * Email and send bitcoins to the address.
 * Go back to the main page.

Buy buy buy
"A couple days later:"

To whom this may concern,

Thank you for your transaction. As promised, here is your customized program for the next red room event. We are glad you have taken interest in our event and we appreciate your acquired taste. We will email you to remind you when the event occurs.

We promise you an unforgettable experience, Red Room Team


 * Day of the event

Day of the event
"We promise you an unforgettable experience!"

''They were sure right. You looked at the stone room displayed in front of you. It's rather seedy, has moss growing on one of the walls, and trash on the ground. In this scenario it was jail and you're in it. It wouldn't be to farfetched to say that the supposed program to view the red room video had code to exploit your computer, no? It's not like you could view the source code or anything! You learned a valuable lesson on being less gullible but at what cost? Return to the starting point to see an alternate fate that had awaited you.''


 * Return to the beginning
 * Get me outta here.

http://blendd3fbeg5h4q7.oniony/
Welcome to Bitcoin Blender!

We are a hidden service that mixes your Bitcoins to remove the link between you and your transactions. This adds an essential layer of anonymity to your online activity to protect you against 'Blockchain Analysis'.

Enter the wallets below and separate them by spaces. The first should contain the money you want cleaned and the other ones (a max of 5) that you want the clean bitcoins to be collected into. This process will take a couple hours.