Template:Random Jack Bauer Facts

Most people would need months to recover from 20 months of Chinese interrogation. Jack Bauer needs a shower, a shave and a change of clothes. On Jack Bauer's Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependents. If Jack Bauer shoots at you and misses, it's because he just killed a terrorist 2 miles away. "You don't know Jack" is a blessing among terrorists. If Jack Bauer was president, he would protect the secret service. On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence. The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives. Jack Bauer quit for just five minutes, and a nuclear bomb went off. This template randomly presents a Jack Bauer facts.