Conservapedia:Best of Conservapedia/0801

January 2008

 * In answer to OurMike's compelling request, Andy's final reply: call Richard Dawkins and tell him that he is not a professor.
 * Andy moves the goalposts yet again. The best editor will be promoted to sysop when CP achieves 14,000, 15,000 , 17,000 , 18,000 , 21,000 , 25,000 new articles.
 * The irony is so thick you have to cut it with a chain saw.
 * Toujours Pur: Andy is busy alienating several users these days, giving ban threats just because he disagreed with these edits
 * Just what the fuck is this?  Well, it's one of these.
 * Andy brings use of the post hoc fallacy to new heights, somehow believing that JK Rowling was invited to speak at Harvard because one of her characters is gay, not for being, you know, just about the most successful author in history or anything.
 * Leave it to Andy to cram so much idiocy into two short paragraphs. Their edits "are span the political spectrum", you know. (Yeah, from Far-Right to Ultra-Right. And while "Liberals try to smear people they don't like", mention of Conservatives doing similar is conspicuous by its absence...)
 * Liberals - especially of the Hollywood variety - value disease.
 * Well, it "isn't news", but the death of actor Heath Ledger is worth making a cheap political slur...UPDATE: Schlafly darest not speak his name for some reason. FURTHER UPDATE: According to self-proclaimed medical expert Andy Schlafly, "28-year-olds do not just die naked on the floor of natural causes." I guess that's one less thing to worry about, then.Update: Pwned!
 * For sheer bloody nonsense it's hard to beat Andy,and it's all his own work. You gotta admit, though, this response by Andy is pretty funny.
 * Wikipedia's liberal bias is censoring a bigoted neologism
 * Ed Poor makes a plea for sources and references - that will be a first!
 * Andy, when does a massacre become statistically significant? Maybe deaths as a result of massacres need to be 95% of all deaths in a year before they become significant?  As an added bonus, Andy explains why all real Conseratives agree with him about everything.
 * Despite Andy himself being an editor of the Harvard Law Review, when Barack was president, it was a liberal rag.
 * RIP Iduan.
 * TK's triumphant return to Conservapedia will be postponed for at least one more month. Maybe there's hope for accountability after all... UPDATE: The recidivist gets a reminder. Do I hear "Proposition 184", anybody?
 * Sometimes, a single edit would be enough for two or more WIGO entries: Case in point. Liberals almost got Ed's friend killed! They are the "party of death"! And it's a darn shame that we aren't allowed to discriminate against non-white people just because we got a "funny feeling" about them.
 * Computers - not used in business, science, industry or the Arts.  Not really used for anything much since 1833 when they were invented.
 * More CP what-the-fuckery. Assfly and the Trusworthy Conservative Encyclopedia come to the rescue of baby shakers. What's next? Bunny stompers? Update: Sergeant Schultz, the voice of reason. Any bets as to how long his edits to the Assfly's latest cause celebre last? Update: his edits were up there for about one hour, before Aschlafly improved perverted the content. Next up "Digested Baby Syndrome" to be proven a hoax.


 * Admins Fox and Ed Poor getting on like a house on fire!
 * More CP what-the-fuckery. Assfly and the Trusworthy Conservative Encyclopedia come to the rescue of baby shakers. What's next? Bunny stompers? Update: Sergeant Schultz, the voice of reason. Any bets as to how long his edits to the Assfly's latest cause celebre last? Update:' his edits were up there for about one hour, before Aschlafly improved perverted the content. Next up "Digested Baby Syndrome" to be proven a hoax.
 * Top Causes of Rejecting Conservativism will soon become a classic, won't it? Update TK makes his first mark this year!
 * According to Andy, if Obama becomes president, it'll only be because of his skin color. Source for this Breaking News piece? None, just Andy's opinion. And oh yeah, Obama is the "least qualified" candidate since, I don't know, Lincoln? Goldwater? Bush? (How about Willkie?)
 * This "reference" doesn't make much sense. 4.5 what ... kids, million kids? and 100,000 out of how many ... 200,000?  Looks like someone might be skewing the facts to make their point valid.  Also how many teachers vs how many priests are responsible for all these abuse cases?
 * A major medical study shows that autism isn't caused by vaccination, which isn't good for Schlafly as a lawyer for the vaccine hysteria crowd. So, what is his reasoned considered response? "It's flat-out wrong"
 * Did you know that successful democracy is a result of Christianity? No? Well, then Andy better repeat it a few times
 * More Schlafly maths: How qualified you are depends entirely on how many PhD's you hold, regardless of the field of study. Because the number is more important than the relevance. P.S. The article itself is an irony goldmine.
 * Andy really can't accept that there were "prominent Americans" who started their school days without prayer.
 * How to win an argument, by Aschlafly. Pointer #1: When in doubt, make up statistics. (Quasi-)Update: Pointer #2: When challenged, claim that those statistics are "obvious and indisputable statements of fact". Update again: Pointer #3: Declare that it's Liberal Bias to think otherwise.
 * News Flash: Shots Hurt Kids. When will liberals learn to stop hurting children just to save them from cancer and disease?  Apparently only 3% of a group of people getting a horrifying disease is within the acceptability margin.  I wonder at what percent it is no longer acceptable?  Knowing Andy, it's probably 95%.  Does anyone know what percentage of kids got polio prior to the Salk vaccine?  Less than 3%?  Not worth it.
 * It's "invent a rule" time again: Userboxes aren't allowed "until you establish a track record" - but good news for Walker: Permission officially granted.
 * A new year and Andy carries on grooming Beth after her block for this piece of wanton vandalism. Excuse me while I puke. Even though he also thanks HelpJazz, Fox, Dan, and Taj, here at RW we only focus on Bethany. And Andy's the creepy one. Yup. -->
 * JakeC discovers that Andy is completely unable to discuss content questions like an adult. Update: Sourcing numerous articles that have been fact-tagged for months is not regarded as making "substantive edits"; but after the attack, Andy finally tells us that he doesn't even see the point raised pretty much every other post by Jake or PJR. Moar update: This exchange is priceless, especially since it's followed by a 90/10 1-day block. (JakeC's actual ratio: 155 mainspace out of 234 total = 66% mainspace)
 * While in secular, I once heard that a man in a secular pool was arrested for secular nudity. The story was made secular in secular-access television and it attracted a lot of secularity. That's almost how Andy would say it. Andy also misses what the meaning of the word actually is.  It's not "public/public beliefs", it's "non-religious".
 * Did you know it is impossible to be a "good person" without reading the bible?