List of actions prohibited by the Bible

I'm not a bad man. I don't drink or dance or swear. I've done everything the Bible says, even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! I've even kept kosher, just to stay on the safe side. There are a lot of actions prohibited by the Bible. How many have you done? Can you count them all?

Vote up if you've done the thing in question and vote down if you haven't. Vote neutral where the question doesn't apply to you (e.g., posed to any gender you don't identify as, posed to a slave and you live outside of North Korea, unsure if you've sacrificed to Baal, etc.).

Overview
The biggest single set of crimes are sexual in nature, usually punishable by the death penalty, followed by a whole set of religious prohibitions. Things we consider sexual crimes (like rape and child abuse) are not what the Old Testament is talking about. Sexual transgressions typically relate to a failure to comport oneself (sexually) in a manner that the Israelites approved of. Adultery and masturbation were regarded as worse than modern crimes such as molestation or rape — arguably because they challenged such moral issues as "Which of my children is really mine, so gets my land?" and "The more sons I have the more land I can work, so the more money I own." Taken by the word of God alone, however, one just has to assume that God cares if you touch yourself or find someone sexy before you are married.

Though exactly why God should have such a deep and abiding interest in the sexual and marital predilections of his creations is not clear. The religious laws describe the various rituals and taboos involved in the proper way of worshiping the Israelite God, and also seek to prevent apostasy. At least in this case, the reasoning behind assassinating anybody who stepped out of line is clear.

There are also a few fundamentalist Christians such as the followers of Dominionism who feel that the death penalties as described should to be enforced today.

Old Testament
The Hebrew Bible, or Tanakh (the source for the Christian Old Testament), which forms the core texts of the Halakha, or corpus of Jewish divine law, includes a surprising number of crimes that merit the death penalty as punishment. These laws were believed to form an integral part of the overall "Covenant" between the Israelites and YHWH. When the Christians adopted the Old Testament as their canon, neither they as a body, nor Jesus as the Messiah, revised or redacted any of these laws, for all they edited was the Hebrew texts. Many of the following belong to the ceremonial and civil categories of the Mosaic Law, which Christians regard as defunct and Jews regard as binding on themselves only.

Sexual acts
All of these used to merit death in ancient times; however, with the destruction of the second Jewish temple, the Jewish Sanhedrin courts all but abolished the death penalty. In Israel (where Judaic religious courts still exist), capital punishment is allowed only during wartime and only for genocide, crimes against humanity, war crimes, and treason (and has been employed only twice: against who was later found out to be innocent, and against  who deserved it). Having homosexual intercourse between men. Committing adultery between a man and a woman. Lying about virginity. Being one of the majority of women who don’t bleed when losing their virginity (–21). Being the daughter of a priest and practicing prostitution. Raping an engaged female virgin. If an engaged female virgin, being raped in a city. Being male and practicing bestiality. Being female and practicing bestiality. Having sex with your father’s wife. Having sex with your daughter-in-law. Having incestual sex. Marrying a woman and her daughter. Having sex with a woman who is menstruating.

A few of these crimes demand that the "sinners" be burned to death rather than stoned to death, the more usual form of capital punishment. One can wonder why these crimes in particular merit this especially horrible fate.

Food and drink
Consuming blood. Eating a cheeseburger or anything that mixes meat and dairy. Sacrificing anything with yeast or honey. Eating leavened bread (bread with yeast) during the Feast of Unleavened Bread. Eating fat. Eating pork (–8). Waiting too long before consuming sacrifices (–8). Eating aquatic creatures lacking fins or scales. Eating any meat not killed according to the Kosher practice. Eating peace offerings while ritually unclean.

Religious
Being a male who is not circumcised. Trying to convert people to another religion. Worshiping idols. Practicing magic. Blaspheming. Breaking the Sabbath. Consulting a psychic or spiritualist. Being a psychic, medium, or spiritualist. Astrology or astrolatry.

Being a town that believes in another, non-YHWH god. Giving one of your descendants to Molech. Not being a priest and going near the when it is being moved. Being a false prophet. Performing any work on the Sabbath. Going to the temple in an unclean state. Engaging in ritual animal sacrifices other than at the temple. Manufacturing anointing oil.

Violent and legal crimes
Murdering a slave. Kidnapping and selling a man. Perjuring yourself (in certain cases). Ignoring the judgment of a judge or a priest. Not constraining a known dangerous bull, if the bull subsequently kills a man or a woman.

Parenting
Striking your parents. Cursing your parents. Being a stubborn, rebellious, profligate, and drunkard son.

Daily life
Planting more than one kind of seed in a field. Wearing clothing woven of more than one kind of cloth. Cutting the hair on the sides of your head or clipping of the edges of your beard. Touching the dead carcass of a pig. Dressing across gender lines. Cutting your bodies for the dead or putting tattoo marks on yourself.

Things that don’t go anywhere else
Living in a city that failed to surrender to the Israelites.

New Testament
Although many &mdash; probably most &mdash; Christians maintain the New Testament ultimately served as an abrogation of the stricter forms and practices of the Mosaic Law, it did codify a few new prohibitions unstated in the text of the Old Testament.

Note that none of these can be demonstrated to have been said by Jesus himself &mdash; indeed, as nobody was taking notes when Jesus was speaking, we have no real way of knowing what Jesus may have said about these things. For that matter, there is even debate about whether Jesus even existed. However, it is also worth noting that, notwithstanding certain episodes where he is claimed to have interpreted laws in a relaxed way (e.g., the Sabbath working law), Jesus did not explicitly say the old laws were now invalid, and dispensations from following them largely came as a result of the spread of Christianity to non-Jews by Paul of Tarsus. On the contrary, Jesus endorses Mosaic Law in, where he says, "For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished."

Food and drink
Consuming strangled things and blood.

Slaves
Disobedience.

Women
Speaking in church (if also a woman). Homosexual intercourse between women. For a woman to pray without covering her head. Teach (or possibly only teaching men).

Men
Homosexual intercourse between men. Praying with their head covered.