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Draft:Hypothesis of Chinese origin of the English language

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The hypothesis of Chinese origin of the English language is a bizarre pseudolinguistic theory that claims that the English language is, in fact, a dialect of Chinese. Its proponents also claim that the history of Western Civilization was entirely fabricated; that Ancient Rome, Ancient Greece, and other Ancient Western cultures did not really exist; and that European civilization was imported from China.

There isn't really much evidence for this hypothesis beyond what could be expected from nationalist pseudolinguistics, a fact that surprises precisely nobody. This hypothesis is, shall we say, not supported by credible linguistic scholarship, and makes the scholarship of Mormons trying to prove an ancient origin for the Book of Mormon sound credible by comparison — at least Brigham Young University does peer review and acknowledges the existence of the ancient world. Netizens on the Chinese intranet have refused to take this theory seriously, laughing it off as the work of the various "叫兽" and "砖家" (corruptions of "professor" and "expert" meant to mock quacks, cranks, and experts for hire) that roam Chinese academia today.


The hypothesis in question was cooked up by a group of nationalistic Chinese scholars, presumably by stewing an English dictionary in an electric soy milk blender bought off of Alibaba for two hours. One such scholar, Professor Du Gangjian from the University of Hunan Law School, claims that the Angles and Saxons that went to England actually originate from the western part of the province of Hunan. [1] For some reason, White British people do not look very much like Chinese people, a phenomenon that remains unexplained.

If true, this claim would overturn all known historical study about Classical-Era Europe, Ancient Greece, and Ancient Rome. Thankfully for all the scholars whose work this would overturn, the claim is not true.