Essay:Why Marriage is an Elaborate Scam

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Marriage has become a staple in Western culture. In the USA, nearly half of all people over 15 are married [1]. The idea of marriage originated in good faith, and was seen as a strategic alliance between families. [2] Religion is a huge part of marriage, and most weddings have priests or other religious entities make the wedding official. In some religions, mainly Judaism and Christianity, sex before marriage is generally forbidden or strongly discouraged, providing another incentive to get married. [3] Marriage is systemically encouraged by society. However, there are many issues with marriage, and I believe it needs to be radically reformed, if not completely eliminated.

Marriage and religion[edit]

Religion is one of the biggest driving factors in the marriage industry. However, there are serious issues with this. For a lighter example, Christianity states that women should be submissive to men in a marriage. It also highly frowns upon divorce, suggesting divorcing and remarrying is equivalent to adultery, and the only exception is if their spouse dies. [4]

Marry-your-rapist lawWikipedias are a far worse example of systemic oppression via marriage. The Hebrew bible has multiple verses saying if a man rapes a woman, they must pay the father 50 shekels, and be forced to marry her and never divorce her. This not only implies that women are property of their fathers, it essentially allows a man to rape a woman, and then purchase her, to be used as a sex slave forever. It is one of the more blatant examples of misogyny in the Bible.

Even worse still, is the Qur'an's views on marriage. The Qur'an allows for up to 4 wives. In addition, it allows for marriage as early as the age of puberty.[5] Women are generally treated as property in Islamic states, and while some other religions have distanced themselves from blatant misogyny, the sentiment is still present in modern culture, even in secular settings.

Marriage, Inc.[edit]

In modern times, marriage has been ridiculously commercialized. Elaborate and extremely expensive weddings are common. Rings can cost thousands of dollars. And honeymoons are even more expensive. In total, the average couple spends $45,000 on a wedding and honeymoon, and $6,163 on a wedding ring. [6]. In contrast, the actual cost of legally getting married is thirty dollars.[7]. Cheap rings can be under $100. Even if you want a wedding, there is no reason to spend that much.

The idea of a diamond ring all comes from an elaborate marketing scheme. There is no reason to buy a diamond ring under any circumstances. However, the diamond ring has been systemically drilled into our minds, from marketing, to popular media, and stores. [8] The value of rings, from the second you walk out of the shop, drops to less than 25% of the original price. They can be found in pawn shops for a fraction of the price, and they are selling them for twice what they bought them for.

Weddings are completely useless and are another marketing scheme. Do you really need 1,000 people that vaguely know you present? Do you really need to make a public announcement of your marriage for when everyone that is there already knows? Even small weddings are a complete waste of money. Parties themselves are not very expensive. You can hold a party for a price less than an average bachelor's degree. It's just another way to make people spend more money. Also, with 1,000 people involved, and many of them getting drunk, there are a lot of variables. Drunk people tend to mess up weddings. Confessions of love to one of the engaged parties are not uncommon, as are angry parents, disapproving friends, and other types of public freakouts. The spouse themselves could break under the pressure.

Due to this, Marriage, Inc will try and hammer in the message that marriage is the only way to be happy. Conservatives have become shills for them. They are the cause of arranged marriage being so widespread and accepted, and 20+ year age gaps are common, even in the USA. Valentine's day is a prime example of that. It indoctrinates children via the school system into believing that marriage is the only way. It gets people to propose. It gets people to buy gifts at absurd markups. It gets people to ask others out. The one good thing about Valentine's day is getting candy for pennies on the dollar a few days after.

Abuse[edit]

Marriages are highly vulnerable to abuse from either party. Rape, domestic abuse, adultery, and other crimes are commonplace. It is very difficult to get a divorce in these circumstances. The legal process will take years, and you can’t even kick out your abusive spouse due to eviction laws, especially due to COVID-19. Marital rape is laughed at, especially if the man is the victim. Domestic violence is still not grounds for eviction, and it’s still hard to get a divorce, if the abused party is even able to due to the abuser’s control over them. Because of Christian and conservative corruption of the legal system, they will try everything they can and make you spend many thousands of dollars to even get your case heard. This is another reason why religion is a plague on society.

Every relationship has an intrinsic value. The majority of people would accept a million dollars to leave their partner. So if it’s offered, say by your spouse coming into a lot of money, like an inheritance, winning the lottery, or $GME, they can steal 50% legally by filing for divorce. They can also take the kids and make them pay $5,000 a month in child support, or if there are no kids, alimony. All they need is a good story.

Systemic misandry and racism[edit]

While marriages could go either way, there is no doubt that the American legal system is extremely misandrist. Men get nearly twice as long sentences as women, and the gap is 6 times larger than the racial gap (however systemic racism is still a huge issue, unlike conservatives like to admit)[9] Sometimes, women can even get away with murder. [10]

While extremists such as the alt-right and incels like to blame women, it’s mostly traditionalist (read: Christan) views. In these views, the woman is the homemaker and raises the children. The man is supposed to provide for the woman. So in divorce proceedings, the judge will heavily favor the woman. Men will usually be forced to give up 50% of their assets. They will usually get minimal custody in disputes involving children, and be forced to pay child support regardless of income. Even with no kids, there is still alimony, which is one of the most horrific things you can do to someone. Forcing a man to pay a large portion of their earnings to the person they hate the most just for being a man in 2021. If they run out of money, they will be put in prison. Some will even commit suicide, or kill their ex in a fit of rage.

Systemic racism can become a part too. Conservative judges tend to buy into the ‘black fathers always run’ stereotype and the 13/50 ‘statistic’. They will punish them even if they did nothing wrong. Black men are treated horribly in life generally, and this is another way to attack them for being black. They will be treated even worse than white men, and that’s saying something.

Even if you win, you will have to pay for the lawyer fees, and spend 3+ years in court facing the person who is trying to ruin your life and take your kids. Lawyer fees can be upwards of $100,000.

Conclusion[edit]

DON’T. GET. MARRIED. Please. Do not support the corruption and commercialization of love. And if you do, don’t have a wedding or get a pricey ring. If you want a long term relationship, don’t get married. Just stay together. There is no need for it. Even without all the issues, it needs to go in favor of progress and radical secularization.

We must secularize society to ensure a future for humanity. Marriage is first.