User:Arthropleura/Anti-Stupidity Suit

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An Anti-Stupidity Suit (or ASS), known to conservapedians as the Another Stupid Suit is a full body suit worn by RationalWikians when in combat in order to protect them from utter stupidity.

Each suit is hand-made by Nx.

Features of the suit[edit]

The Anti-Stupidity Suit:

  • Covers the whole body in the same way that outer-space astronaut suits do.
  • Is airtight with an oxygen supply capable of supplying up to six hours of oxygen.
  • Has a built-in system for communicating with other ASS suit wearers.
  • Has an built-in computer system and integrated audio player further detailed below.
  • Is customizable. For example, Arthropleura's suit gives him the appearance of a millipede.

Attack and Defence[edit]

The ASS is equipped with several security features for use in combat. The suit:

  • Is armoured and capable of withstanding physical strikes against it as well as small fires.
  • Has liquidized pepper to spray on homophobics, conservatives and fundies in self-defense.
  • Has a concealed shotgun underneath each sleeve of the arm. The shotguns can be fired by making a fist. The shotguns can fire a variety of ordinance, including traquilizers, armor-piercing bullets, and buckshot.

Several features are currently undergoing development by Nx. The new suits:

  • Will have more stable reactor cores
  • Shoulder-mounted rockets
  • A magnetic field to deflect incoming bullets
  • A computerized library
  • Hard-sound guns mounted next to the shotguns

Computer[edit]

Each Anti-Stupidity Suit is equipped with a voice-activated computer. The computer is equipped with:

  • An external cellular telephone system.
  • A high-speed broadband connection for accessing the databases of several sources of peer-reviewed papers.
  • An audio player for playing dramatic music.
  • A dictionary so one can use terms a creationist will not understand.
  • A translator of gibberish into something understandable.[1]

Specific suits[edit]

Unlike the LPS, ASSs are often customized. For example:

  • Nx's suit has a direct interface to Capturetron 2000.
  • K61824's suit has idiocy generator, amplifier and reflector, because he knows idiocy is it's own worst enemy.
  • Arthropleura's suit is different enough to warrant it's own sub-article, so see: The Millipede Machine.
  • Theemperor is the only RationWikian who does not wear one, preferring his standard hooded black Sith cloak.
  • SuperJosh's suit is a black, skin-tight suit equipped with a Purple Cape allowing him the ability of flight. It also has the SuperJosh SuperSplat logo on the front.

Footnotes and references[edit]

  1. This does not work for anything said by  K e n  D o l l