Fun talk:Types of people who go to Hell

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Nice article--however, I suggst it be appended to the Hell article which could do with the extra information.--Remarcsd 17:56, 9 September 2007 (CDT)

Some reference to Dante's coircles of Hell would be good too, although the degrees of heresy discussed there might be a little dated. And the title reminds me of the "five people you meet in Heaven" book. Totnesmartin 07:56, 17 November 2007 (EST)
Dante is also the only human I know who went to Hell and came back to the world of the living. That deserves special mention in the article. Editor at CP 08:48, 17 November 2007 (EST)

Jack Chick[edit]

I am amazed we don't have a Jack Chick article! Totnesmartin 09:17, 17 November 2007 (EST)

But you can't refute Jack Chick! He's right about everything! --Kels 10:57, 17 November 2007 (EST)
I'd never heard of him before. For those like me here's a sample of his errrrr It's a hoot.--Bobbing up 12:30, 17 November 2007 (EST)
You poor, sheltered man! No-one can convey the angry old guy-in-the-sky schmaltz better than Jack Chick, (have they done any animation? I'd like to hear Andy Dick voice Satan.)CЯacke® 12:55, 17 November 2007 (EST)
Actually I'm just working through lots of them now. Please tell me it's not a parody. It's just too good. --Bobbing up 13:05, 17 November 2007 (EST)
Hold the front page. I've just found out that the Gestapo were controlled by the Jesuits! Apparently this is known to key people in Europe but suppressed by the Catholic Church in the US! Hey, I'm from Europe. Nobody told me. Can't be a key person I guess.--Bobbing up 13:28, 17 November 2007 (EST)
Ahh, yes. That's one of the absolute classics you've dug up there. For even more hilarity, you should try and Google for the "Dr. Alberto Rivera" mentioned at the start. --AKjeldsenGodspeed! 13:44, 17 November 2007 (EST)
I guess that would be this one where the Muhammad was acting under secret orders from a Catholic nun and the whole if Islam is secretly controlled by the Pope? It takes a special kind of mind to believe this.--Bobbing up 16:08, 17 November 2007 (EST)
Not forgetting Charles Chiniquy's Fifty Years in the "Church" of Rome - another Chick favourite! Totnesmartin 13:55, 17 November 2007 (EST)
I'm getting some mores stuff now. I'll be sure to check out both of those. This man really should contribute to CP - he'd fit in so well.--Bobbing up 14:03, 17 November 2007 (EST)

<--I do not agree, JC would be sane, (as in "consistent"), compared to "the usual suspects" over to CP. CЯacke® 14:11, 17 November 2007 (EST)

Well, I had a look at their article on this lunatic and I was disappointed to see how moderate it was. I was expecting some ringing endorsement but it wasn't there. :-( --Bobbing up 15:17, 17 November 2007 (EST)

We should have a daily link to a Chick cartoon in Main Page, I say. Editor at CP 15:10, 17 November 2007 (EST)

Sports fans - Hell's Most wanted[edit]

Looking at the list of Hell's most wanted on the article page it's clear where I'm going as I clearly fit into a number of categories, and with a bit of imagination I could fit into a few more. I'm not really a sports fan though. And what I can't understand is why sports fans should necessarily go to hell. Can anybody explain? Why are sports fans going to Hell? --Bobbing up 17:40, 27 September 2008 (EDT)

Because sports are evil. Nerds the world over concur. Star of David.png Radioactive afikomen Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments. 17:37, 27 September 2008 (EDT)
I think it might be related to the scheduling of Church gatherings and ball games at the same time. Although I must admit, this is based purely on an episode of the Simpsons.
And I might add that the Nerds are joined in this conflict by their allies, the Mice. Let battle commence! New3.pngPink(Astronomy Domine) 17:43, 27 September 2008 (EDT)
(Mice- Is that the plural now?)--Bobbing up 17:51, 27 September 2008 (EDT)
As it always has. Where have you been? Star of David.png Radioactive afikomen Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments. 18:13, 27 September 2008 (EDT)
I've been at the bottom of of this discussion. :-) --Bobbing up 04:31, 28 September 2008 (EDT)

Sports fans are going to Hell Because Jack Chick says so! case concluded. I'm not Jesus (talk) 07:07, 13 July 2011 (UTC)

Hell Wants YOU[edit]

I'M going to Hell now? I don't know if this is a compliment or an insult, but I'm going with compliment. SuperJosh 15:08, 4 April 2009 (EDT)

It's a little piece of javascript that inserts your name in there, like this: --  Nx/talk  15:17, 4 April 2009 (EDT)
I've just realised that. And now I feel like a dick. Ha! SuperJosh 15:18, 4 April 2009 (EDT)
Damn, and I was starting to feel special! Four years since your comment, but hey. Sophophobe (talk) 21:36, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

repeated items?[edit]

Is there something I am missing that lesbians separated from homosexuals? Thieh 04:20, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

Yes, sometimes "homosexuals" are boys and "lesbians" are girls in English, even though "homosexuals" covers both genders. ħumanUser talk:Human 04:53, 1 May 2009 (UTC)


I had a couch simonized one time when it was cleaned , does that count ? (no I dont want to look it up, I made that mistake with Goatse (no its nothing to do with goats) Hamster (talk) 19:40, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

Simoniacs are people who committed simony. Clear enough?
Okay, "simony" is the sin of buying or attempting to buy ecclesiastical offices, or, more generally, financially trading in "spiritual things". Basically, if you don't know what simony is, you're unlikely to have committed it. (On the assumption that anyone is a position to sell spirtual things would have received an education as to what it is.) The name comes from Simon Magus, who attempted to bride the Apostles into giving him the power of the Holy Spirit. MDB (talk) 19:53, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

Who wont go to Hell[edit]

Beloved of God, the cute Hamster , because he is so incredibly cute.
Members of Rational Wiki that have annoyed Andy or Phillip, cause God loves them too. (talk) 21:23, 24 February 2010 (UTC)
People that have somehow attained immortality. Though not only is this impossible, its also just plain cheating. IAMELIPHAS (talk) 21:51, 24 February 2010 (UTC)


Whatever is wrong with putting that in the parody list? Pat Robertson all but said it, and we already have "non-Americans" in there. Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 21:41, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

Whatever, its pretty low. Acei9 21:42, 24 February 2010 (UTC)
I fail to see how thats low. For starters, this is a parody list. Secondly, they would think that. Third, how is it low for us to state that fundamentalists think that Haitians are going to hell? Low for the fundies to think that yes. But then again, thats the point of this whole list isn't it? IAMELIPHAS (talk) 21:56, 24 February 2010 (UTC)
It's tacky and will be really dated soon. ħumanUser talk:Human 22:00, 24 February 2010 (UTC)
What Human said. Acei9 22:08, 24 February 2010 (UTC)


People don't go to hell because they did bad things. Well, OK, that's how they are guilty when they stand before the LORD, but ultimately the thing that keeps you from going to heaven is not accepting the sacrifice that Jesus made for your sins on the cross. We've all fapped, lied, stolen or lusted after the jailbait we see on the street. Saying that everyone who is guilty of these things is automatically going straight to hell (which this article implies) is a strawman and gives a skewed view of christian theology. -- (talk)

Note the enormous parody box at the top of the article. CopperheadHisssssss 00:02, 2 February 2012 (UTC)

Communists and Socialists[edit]

Wouldn't commies and socialists be condemned to Hell?Pbrower2a (talk) 02:52, 18 December 2013 (UTC)

Wouldn't they? PowderSmokeAndLeather: Say something once, why say it again?.Moderator 03:05, 18 December 2013 (UTC)

The people who go to hell[edit]

... are the ones who in life as it now is, designate entire groups whom they disapprove of to hell.

There are places beyond hell - including those 'where the Devil doesn't go because of the nettles.' (talk) 22:24, 18 April 2015 (UTC)


What am I doing on this list?Kingdamian1 (talk) 16:13, 3 May 2017 (UTC)

You're not, when I view it I see "RationalWiki users like Christopher". Click edit and see for yourself. Christopher (talk) 16:20, 3 May 2017 (UTC)

Oh... ok--Kingdamian1 (talk) 16:58, 3 May 2017 (UTC)

Given that[edit]

... all the people who have done bad things but repent at the last minute can go to heaven, and all those who live good lives but have the odd 'naughty thought (of whatever kind)' and/or don't belong to the 'right' church go to somewhere in hell (and possibly get sent somewhere where the 'unrepentant bad-doers' are) where would you, dear RW reader, wish to be sent?

What would Heaven be like, with all the 'last moment repenters' who get there and immediately repent of their repenting? (talk) 17:42, 3 May 2017 (UTC)

It's a bit of a but there's good reason to rather go to hell, Satan (PBUH) isn't a mass murderer whilst god is for example. I wouldn't want to spend eternity singing the praises of the guy responsible for Ebola and insects whose entire life cycle consist of burrowing into the eyes of children and turning them blind. Christopher (talk) 17:58, 3 May 2017 (UTC)
Objectively, if one believes in an afterlife that does not involve reincarnation there is a case for Purgatory ('detention writing out lines' for all your minor misdeeds and naughty thoughts' - or even having all your sins burnt off while going through a river) and 'somewhere for all the people who mostly behaved well but did not join (faith X).'
'You have little misdemeanour, and you spend the whole of eternity in hell' seems rather inflexible (especially as God created people with a willingness to explore minor misdeeds and naughty thoughts). (talk) 18:09, 3 May 2017 (UTC)


... should, logically, go to heaven - they disbelieve in God after all. Anna Livia (talk) 09:10, 3 April 2018 (UTC)

@Anna Livia, what does this mean? Most current religions require belief in God to get to a decent afterlife. Christopher (talk) 10:04, 3 April 2018 (UTC)
Meeting God is the probably last thing they want.
And those who considered themselves Valhalla-bound would regard the milk-and-honey Christian heaven doing nothing but praising a different god to theirs as hellishly boring. Anna Livia (talk) 11:55, 3 April 2018 (UTC)


Do pets and 'animals that deliberately choose to associate themselves with humans (as staff) go to heaven then? Anna Livia (talk) 09:14, 3 April 2018 (UTC)


Wait me? — Unsigned, by: Doublethink / talk / contribs

Yes. ikanreed 🐐Bleat at me 19:56, 5 November 2018 (UTC)


Are medieval merchants - hence fishmongers and costermongers.

Hell must be a very busy/over-crowded place what with all the different flavours of non-supporters of the various God-shouters (who are giving God a headache) and unbaptised persons, including babies who insist on either wailing or putting their fingers in inappropriate places/trying to eat unsuitable things (and the devils did not sign up to hell to become nursemaids). Anna Livia (talk) 23:48, 5 November 2018 (UTC)