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Jesus diet

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The Jesus diet (also Maker's diet) is a fad diet promoted in several different versions by various people. Vague, we know.

WWJD is the name of the game here, with the idea that eating what Jesus ate is the key to staying thin and healthy, cause everyone knows from all the photos of Jesus, that he was thin and healthy. Right?

Presumably, this includes fasting, fish, unleavened bread, and water that has been turned into wine.

For Catholics, the diet presumably includes a strict regimen of divine cannibalism, mediated through the Catholic Church's very own wacky crackers and spooky goblets of blood red wine.

Variations[edit]

Different versions include:

  • Don Colbert's many books in The Bible Cure For… series
  • Gene Wall Cole's Jesus' Diet for the Whole World (2005), claimed to be "from deep inside the Vatican Vaults!"
  • Numerous promoters of raw foodism and macrobiotics using the term "Jesus Diet"
  • Michael H. Brown's The Strength of Samson: How To Attain It (1974), aimed at bodybuilders
  • Rich Tucker's Biblical Nutrition (1973)

Along those same lines, several products have hit the market lately such as:

  • Bible Bar,[1] a Power Bar-like concoction made from the seven ingredients recommended by the LORD in the book of Deuteronomy 8:8}: "a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey;"[2]
  • Ezekiel 4:9 Bread, made from the recipe found in Ezekiel 4:9: "Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself. You are to eat it during the 390 days you lie on your side." (note however that Ezekiel 4:12 adds a really bizarre ingredient to the mix: "Eat the food as you would a barley cake; bake it in the sight of the people, using human excrement for fuel.")[3]

There is no word yet on whether the Jesus Diet includes using human dung as a fuel for baking your bread.

History[edit]

The concept of the Bible as an eating guide is not new. Bible cake used Biblical quotations in its recipe (and sounds pretty tasty), and can be dated back to 1906 (as scripture cake).

Hygiene[edit]

Strict followers of Jesus need not wash their hands before eating, but absolutely must stone naughty children to death. (Mark 7:5-13)[4]

See also[edit]

References[edit]

  1. Archive of Cliff Scott's Bible Bar "The Bible Bar — A Great Source Of Deuteronomy’s Seven Good Foods" Cliff Scott Enterprises
  2. Deuteronomy 8:8 (New International Version). BibleGateway.com
  3. Ezekiel 4:9; Ezekiel 4:12 (New International Version). BibleGateway.com. Admittedly, cow patties and the like have been used for fuel for centuries, but this was a little over the top, which was kind of the point.
  4. http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/mk/7.html