RationalWiki:Annotated Qur'an/The Overwhelming Calamity

Annotated Qur'an
Sura 88: The Overwhelming Calamity
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Qur'an 88:1 Has there come to you the news of the overwhelming?	Qur'an 88:1 Notes Yes. I remember the Y2K bug scare predicted a calamity at the stroke of mellenial midnight.

Qur'an 88:2 Faces on that Day will be shamed.	Qur'an 88:2 Notes Nope. In the end it was a pretty fun time for all.

Qur'an 88:3 Laboring and exhausted.	Qur'an 88:3 Notes Nope. People worked hard leading up to the year 2000 and smoothed out all the computer bugs that was supposed to wreak havoc.

Qur'an 88:4 Roasting in a scorching Fire.	Qur'an 88:4 Notes Yes, some said nuclear missiles might be launched (they weren't) but there were fireworks.

Qur'an 88:5 Given to drink from a flaming spring.	Qur'an 88:5 Notes At the party I went to there was a bubbling Jacuzzi outside but we didn't drink from it, we drank for the cold punch bowl.

Qur'an 88:6 They will have no food except thorns.	Qur'an 88:6 Notes I don't remember being served apples with razors in it. You're thinking of Halloween not New Years.

Qur'an 88:7 That neither nourishes, nor satisfies hunger.	Qur'an 88:7 Notes I suppose at most parties we aren't served very nutritious food.

Qur'an 88:8 Faces on that Day will be joyful.	Qur'an 88:8 Notes Nope again. Once the countdown is over, the real fun partying begins!

Qur'an 88:9 Satisfied with their endeavor.	Qur'an 88:9 Notes Yes, all that work preparing food and mixing drinks was worth it.

Qur'an 88:10 In a lofty Garden.	Qur'an 88:10 Notes Yeah, we took the party out into the back garden, how did you know?

Qur'an 88:11 In it you will hear no nonsense.	Qur'an 88:11 Notes Nope. I wouldn't care to repeat some of the raunchy things my friends said that night.

Qur'an 88:12 In it is a flowing spring.	Qur'an 88:12 Notes More like a splash than a gush. Someone fell into the swimming pool.

Qur'an 88:13 In it are raised beds.	Qur'an 88:13 Notes Yes there was a blow up air mattress floating on the pool.

Qur'an 88:14 And cups set in place.	Qur'an 88:14 Notes We were actually drinking out of plastic champagne goblets.

Qur'an 88:15 And cushions set in rows.	Qur'an 88:15 Notes But not enough as several people passed out on the ground and slept the whole night without even a pillow.

Qur'an 88:16 And carpets spread around.	Qur'an 88:16 Notes We have money but we aren't that rich.

Qur'an 88:17 Do they not look at the camels—how they are created?	Qur'an 88:17 Notes I remember a goat kind of showing up out of nowhere, but I'm sure there was no camel.

Qur'an 88:18 And at the sky—how it is raised?	Qur'an 88:18 Notes I couldn't tell you. Few of us remember a thing after one in the morning.

Qur'an 88:19 And at the mountains—how they are installed?	Qur'an 88:19 Notes I...I don't know what hills you're talking about.

Qur'an 88:20 And at the earth—how it is spread out?	Qur'an 88:20 Notes You mean the soil? In my garden. I don't understand.

Qur'an 88:21 So remind. You are only a reminder.	Qur'an 88:21 Notes Me? I'm a remembrancer? What is that?

Qur'an 88:22 You have no control over them.	Qur'an 88:22 Notes I beg your pardon? I am too a warder!

Qur'an 88:23 But whoever turns away and disbelieves.	Qur'an 88:23 Notes You mean us?

Qur'an 88:24 God will punish him with the greatest punishment.	Qur'an 88:24 Notes Oh no. Whatever can we do?

Qur'an 88:25 To Us is their return.	Qur'an 88:25 Notes Okay. I'll return the lawnmower I borrowed from you last month.

Qur'an 88:26 Then upon Us rests their reckoning.	Qur'an 88:26 Notes Why are you guys being such dicks about this? Okay, you've condemned most of humanity to cruel horror...do you really have to go "ha ha...now you are burning...nah nah nah?"