Email

Another email. This time more humorous.

Are you sure? I have no e-mails from the last few days.....

Nevermind, I see it now. Cursed spam folders....

"Earth-shattering"? Minnesota isn't even an earthquake zone!

Yes we do. It's just that the strongest one ever recorded in Minnesota was a 3.8 in 2010. Not even enough to knock shit off walls.

"Strongest in 2010"? It must be global warming!

Nonsense, it's global cooling! The earth was shivering, is all.

Nonsense. Warm things expand, the earth is warming, therefore its crust is just a bit too small for it now. Instant earthquake!

Well, that's true. Neal Adams said the earth was expanding so that fits with the evidence.