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Difference between revisions of "Bill Clinton"

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'''William "Bill" Jefferson Clinton''' was the 42nd president of the [[United States]].
 
'''William "Bill" Jefferson Clinton''' was the 42nd president of the [[United States]].
  
Clinton was a [[conservative]] [[Democrat]] from a traditon [[bluedog]] state, a Southern Baptist, and advocate of classroom prayer in America's public school systems,<ref>http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1P2-919460.html</ref> thus tearing down the [[Constitution]]al wall of [[separation of church and state]].  Who else has given them ''so many'' excuses to act like [[deceit]]ful scumballs, and then yell "Clinton Did  Worse!!!!" when called on it?  Luckily for them, getting a [[fellatio|blow job]] is the very worst thing a man can do.<ref>Some conservatives used to claim that lying and/or perjury were the Very Worst Things, but their reaction to the [[scoundrel]] [[Scooter Libby]] have made it clear that that feeling is no longer operative. That just leaves the blow job.</ref>  Clinton argued that Monica Lewinsky had engaged in sexual relations, whereas he did not.<ref>http://ejournalofpoliticalscience.org/indexstarr6.html</ref>  {{Cquote|[I]f the deponent is the person who has oral sex performed on him, then the contact is with -- not with anything on that list, but with the lips of another person. It seems to be self-evident that that's what it is. . . .Let me remind you, sir, I read this carefully.<ref>Clinton 8/17/98 GJ at 151.</ref>}}
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He is every [[conservative]]'s favorite president (after all, he is a Southern Baptist), although they'd rather die than admit it.  Who else has given them ''so many'' excuses to act like [[deceit]]ful scumballs, and then yell "Clinton Did  Worse!!!!" when called on it?  Luckily for them, getting a [[fellatio|blow job]] is the very worst thing a man can do.<ref>Some conservatives used to claim that lying and/or perjury were the Very Worst Things, but their reaction to the [[scoundrel]] [[Scooter Libby]] have made it clear that that feeling is no longer operative. That just leaves the blow job.</ref>  Clinton argued that Monica Lewinsky had engaged in sexual relations, whereas he did not.<ref>http://ejournalofpoliticalscience.org/indexstarr6.html</ref>  {{Cquote|[I]f the deponent is the person who has oral sex performed on him, then the contact is with -- not with anything on that list, but with the lips of another person. It seems to be self-evident that that's what it is. . . .Let me remind you, sir, I read this carefully.<ref>Clinton 8/17/98 GJ at 151.</ref>}}
  
 
Clinton "ended welfare as we know it" and achieved a balanced federal budget in his last three years of office.
 
Clinton "ended welfare as we know it" and achieved a balanced federal budget in his last three years of office.

Revision as of 04:15, 23 November 2009

William "Bill" Jefferson Clinton was the 42nd president of the United States.

He is every conservative's favorite president (after all, he is a Southern Baptist), although they'd rather die than admit it. Who else has given them so many excuses to act like deceitful scumballs, and then yell "Clinton Did Worse!!!!" when called on it? Luckily for them, getting a blow job is the very worst thing a man can do.[1] Clinton argued that Monica Lewinsky had engaged in sexual relations, whereas he did not.[2]

[I]f the deponent is the person who has oral sex performed on him, then the contact is with -- not with anything on that list, but with the lips of another person. It seems to be self-evident that that's what it is. . . .Let me remind you, sir, I read this carefully.[3]

Clinton "ended welfare as we know it" and achieved a balanced federal budget in his last three years of office.

He is married to former presidential candidate Senator Hillary "Hills" Rodham Clinton.

Straight from the White House biography page

During the administration of William Jefferson Clinton, the U.S. enjoyed more peace and economic well being than at any time in its history. He was the first Democratic president since Franklin D. Roosevelt to serve two full terms. He could point to the lowest unemployment rate in modern times, the lowest inflation in 30 years, the highest home ownership in the country's history, dropping crime rates in many places, and reduced welfare rolls. He proposed the first balanced budget in decades and achieved a budget surplus. As part of a plan to celebrate the millennium in 2000, Clinton called for a great national initiative to end racial discrimination. [4]

It's also commonly assumed that Bill Clinton was the first black affirmative action president.[5] However, this is not the case.

"It's the economy, stupid!"

The above section title was James Carville's primary advice to Bill Clinton during the 1992 Presidential campaign. The advice seemed to resonate with the to be future President. During Bill Clinton's eight years as President of the United States the Dow Jones Industrial Average gained approximately 8,000 points. In contrast, Clinton's successor, George W. Bush, has been hoping to break even during his eight year tenure. However, as of October 6, 2008, the DJIA is approximately 2,000 points lower than it was on Governor Bush's first day on the job.

Famous Clinton quotes

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."

"It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is." –Bill Clinton, during his 1998 grand jury testimony on the Monica Lewinsky affair.

"When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn't like it. I didn't inhale and never tried it again." –Bill Clinton

"It depends on how you define alone…" –Bill Clinton, in his grand jury testimony.

"There were a lot of times when we were alone, but I never really thought we were." –Bill Clinton, in his grand jury testimony

"What's a man got to do to get in the top fifty?" –Bill Clinton, reacting to a survey of journalists that ranked the Monica Lewinsky scandal as the 53rd most significant story of the century.

"Being president is like running a cemetery: you've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening." –Bill Clinton

"I asked him to do it because he was the only person that I could trust to read all 150,000 pages in the Code of Federal Regulations." –Bill Clinton, on asking Vice President Al Gore to tackle federal regulatory reform.

"Well, I don't have much job security." –Bill Clinton, in 1992, on why he still plays the saxophone.

"If President Reagan could be an actor and become president, maybe I could become an actor. I've got a good pension. I can work for cheap." -Bill Clinton, at a Hollywood fundraiser.

"I may not have been the greatest president, but I've had the most fun eight years." –Bill Clinton

See also

Footnotes

  1. Some conservatives used to claim that lying and/or perjury were the Very Worst Things, but their reaction to the scoundrel Scooter Libby have made it clear that that feeling is no longer operative. That just leaves the blow job.
  2. http://ejournalofpoliticalscience.org/indexstarr6.html
  3. Clinton 8/17/98 GJ at 151.
  4. http://www.whitehouse.gov/history/presidents/bc42.html
  5. http://ontology.buffalo.edu./smith/clinton/morrison.html