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The '''Fox News Channel''' (a.k.a. "''Faux News''", "''Fixed News''", "''Pox News''" or "''Fox Noise''" and rarely "''[[Nineteen Eighty-Four|Minitrue]]''" to its detractors) is a foreign-controlled United States-based cable and satellite "news" channel known for a <s>somewhat</s> blatantly [[right-wing]] presentation of the news.
 
The '''Fox News Channel''' (a.k.a. "''Faux News''", "''Fixed News''", "''Pox News''" or "''Fox Noise''" and rarely "''[[Nineteen Eighty-Four|Minitrue]]''" to its detractors) is a foreign-controlled United States-based cable and satellite "news" channel known for a <s>somewhat</s> blatantly [[right-wing]] presentation of the news.

Revision as of 14:00, 21 October 2009

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For those living in an alternate reality, Conservapedia has an "article" about Fox News

The Fox News Channel (a.k.a. "Faux News", "Fixed News", "Pox News" or "Fox Noise" and rarely "Minitrue" to its detractors) is a foreign-controlled United States-based cable and satellite "news" channel known for a somewhat blatantly right-wing presentation of the news.

Slogan

"Fair & Balanced" (ha ha) is a trademarked slogan of this agency, originally used in conjunction with "Real Journalism"[1].

Slogan also used are:

  • "We Report. You Decide" — Closer to "We Report, You Believe."[2] than you'd like to think.
  • "The Most Powerful Name in News" — You don't need to be trusted, just need to be powerful to have people to believe in you.

Ownership

Fox News is part of Rupert Murdoch's media empire, News Corporation. This empire includes The Sun and The News of the World newspapers in the UK. These papers are well known for high quality and thought-provoking journalism as well as their high level of accuracy in reporting, so makes a great companion to Fox News. The Sun is also noted for its tastefully nekkid Page Three Girls (Warning: NSFW!).

Staffing

Fox News employs people on all parts of the political spectrum, from the far-Right to the ultra-Right. Roger Ailes, the president of Fox News, was Nixon’s media advisor.[3]

Notable (dysfunctional) personalities

Programming

Fox News' usual programming includes anything containing the words: Paris Hilton, Anna Nicole Smith, celebrity, or other such pointless drivel. Occasionally, they let actual news slip by, but it is always quickly removed. They are also Your National Headquarters for uninteresting Southern California car chases.[more detail please]

Mostly, Fox enjoys providing deep shallow discussions shouting matches about anything that bothers them. During the temporary short periods of relaxation to catch your breath, they occasionally mention some real "news", but quickly change the subject.

Fox News was the first to bring us that Barack Obama is a Muslim sleeper, trained in a radical Islamic madrasa, a co-conspirator of terrorist Bill Ayers, and salutes his wife with a "terrorist fist jab". Fox is still awaiting a Pulitzer for these notable revelations.

Covering international affairs, Fox News ensures that there is somehow a reason that the US is involved. Such as: "Lots of murder and genocide is going on in that small African country, but fortunately, the US has no plans to send soldiers there at all," or: "The Asian stockmarket crashed today in a total collapse of their economy, as a result the US stock market will likely suffer slightly until the Asians get their act together."

When a major news story is breaking and the news is injurious to conservatives or Republicans or can't otherwise be avoided, Fox News takes one or more of these strategies:

  1. Remind viewers that President Bill Clinton had fellatio in the White House and damaged the Presidency
  2. Bring in some sort of reminder of 9/11 and emphasize that the nation is safer from terrorism because of what the Republicans are doing
  3. Offer 'proof' President Barack Obama is a radical Muslim / communist / socialist / anti-American / n-n-Negro / terrorist / born in Kenya or somewhere else foreign
  4. Change the subject by presenting celebrity gossip or covering "breaking news" (Fox News Alert), such as an oil refinery fire in Arkansas, far away from the damaging news on Capitol Hill
  5. Blame liberals, leftists, socialists, communists, centrists, progressives, fake Republicans, Democrats, Clintons, France, O.J. Simpson, and/or actual news media
  6. When all of the above fail, just go ahead and change the party affiliation (from R to D) of the person who's in trouble.[4]

Language

Fox News is known to occasionally pervert the English language in order to further its political agenda. Thus, suicide bombers become, in Fox Newspeak, homicide bombers .

Availability

As of January 2005, it is available to 85 million households in the U.S. and to other viewers internationally. Many of the more outragous or potentially controversial clips, particularly those of their opinion pundits are widely available on YouTube.

Critiques

The documentary Outfoxed examines the biases and internal pressures at Fox News and their network outlets.

Quotes about Fox News

You know what a fake news show on Fox News should give you? Real news!
—Lewis Black (speaking about the Half Hour News Hour)
Fox tends to lean more to the right than a man who's just had his right leg blown off.
—Charlie Brooker, Newswipe

See also

External links

Footnotes

  1. And yes, somehow they don't have a problem dropping that phrase (that they admit they are opening the possibility to fake journalism).
  2. Slogan of parody network CNNNN. see wp:CNNNN
  3. Same Old Party
  4. They really have done this - as documented by the Daily Show on October 4, 2006.