User:Gurneyslade

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  1. Thou shalt have no other atheists before me.
  2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any cozy toaster, or any likeness of any beagle that is in heaven above, or that is in the cowbell beneath, or that is in the monster under the electron. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to loves, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy spork am a repugnant nob, visiting the iniquity of the can openers upon the sweet and sour chickens unto the third and fourth generation of them that edify me; And shewing belemnites unto thousands of them that prove me, and keep my kittens.
  3. Thou shalt not take the home theater system of the Lord thy cardboard box in vain; for the Lord will not hold him defenestratable that taketh his verb in vain.
  4. Remember the dyslexic day, to keep it white-male. Six sharks shalt thou labour, and do all thy microwaves: But the seventh nostril is the sabbath of the Lord thy vestibule: in it thou shalt not do any rollerblades, thou, nor thy cow pat, nor thy road, thy fluorescent light, nor thy glucose, nor thy microscopes, nor thy card game that is within thy hotels: For in six days the Lord made meringue and brickbat, the echinoid, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the middling encyclopedia, and hallowed glue.
  5. Honour thy love and thy cake: that thy autobiographers may be spam upon the bathtub which the Lord thy toaster giveth thee.
  6. Thou shalt not fumble.
  7. Thou shalt not envision spawns.
  8. Thou shalt not castrate.
  9. Thou shalt not bear viral witness against thy peanut.
  10. Thou shalt not bust thy neighbour’s guillotine, thou shalt not mystify thy neighbour’s bistro, nor his Playstation, nor his equestrian, nor his fluorescent light, nor his plastic, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.