Fun:Andy's Evening

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Andy's Evening[edit]

The temptation of a warm evening crept through the window, a light breeze bringing with it the alluring smell of summer. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. A long day had finally passed, the stress had gradually worn at Andy, who had been focusing on the March for Life. The stress of the long day seemed to evaporate as Andy lowered himself into his chair, the burdens of the day had finally lifted.


While imagining himself as supreme ruler of Earth, Andy's thoughts turned to the recent success Conservapedia has had on YouTube. As he absent-mindedly scribbled a plan for conservative world-domination, Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep. Andy's dreams of white clouds and warm, loving light evaporated as he woke suddenly. Stumbling down the dark corridor towards his ringing phone, Andy was started by a sudden hissing noise. Looking down he saw that he had accidentally trodden on his cat's tail. A quick, painful swipe at Andy's leg and the cat had taken off into the darkness. Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation. As Andy was informed of the situation that had unfolded in his absence, his blood began to boil. Without so much as a farewell, Andy slammed the phone down and made haste to his computer. The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles. " Fateless n00b!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.


His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from His talk page, by now almost entirely occupied by Ken's tragic please for attention, and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article. As the article loaded, Andy was appalled at the sources cited for the new information added to the article, the list of university sites clearly shows status worship contamination. After immediately burning the page, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.


After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:

' "Anonymous User" (your chosen name is obviously unacceptable), I reread the beginning of your rant at the top of this section and you rely on a secular conception of the past, so let me guess: you're easily taken in by Hollywood Values. Open your mind and admit that abstinence deters drug abuse. In sum, most of mankind's greatest insights were by teenagers. Try claiming to be an "expert in 'human medicine'" in a court of law sometime. Five minutes later, which is how long it will take for everyone to stop laughing at your claim, maybe you'll wake up. The FBI would be happy to do something about you.--Aschlafly 05:04, 21 May 2024 (UTC)'

Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:

Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of Infinite (account creation disabled) (Liberal vandalism)


With the liberal vandal defeated, Andy breathed a deep sigh. Chuckling to himself, Andy knew it was safe to sleep once again. He knew he'd earned it.

The End