Number nine. Number nine. Number nine.

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Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Those who can't do or teach become politicians.


"I'm so horny."
—Siri[1], to Freethought Blogs' Mano Singham, in response to a completely innocent question it was asked (on his daughter's iPhone) due to it mishearing it with his Sri Lankan accent
"Rove was this supposed political genius, the one-time boy wonder who was credited with engineering George W. Bush’s two successful runs for the presidency and was known as ‘Bush’s brain’, as if that were a compliment."
—The aforementioned Mano Singham on Karl Rove, as well as Bush's "brain"
"RationalWiki is like coffee. It's addictive and makes your breath smell bad."
Me
"RationalWiki is like asterisk. It's hopeless and makes your asterisk pass explosively."
Not me

AKA Evice on Wikipedia and a few other sites, most of which are Wikimedia projects. Same great taste, now with more goat and less explosively hopeless asterisk![2]

I signed up after reading about Conservapedia, the trusworthy trustworthy goat-free encyclopedia, its founder Assfly, and his gay brother.[3]

I do not have an account on Conservapedia due to the fact that I am a deceitful liberal who dislikes the idea of not being able to talk about goats.[4]

I do, however, have an account on Uncyclopedia, but I haven't used it much lately.[5]

Now I have registered the username Agahnim on FSTDT.[6] I'm everywhere now. (Including on the wiki I just linked to.)

Most of my editing on wikis in general (including this one and the one more people are familiar with) involves fixing minor errors (I do correcting writing) and sometimes making my own errors (this especially happens when I'm multitasking using the computer and either watching TV or playing video games). I rarely contribute anything major. Anything other than copyediting probably involves adding links (to RationalWiki for subjects that belong on RationalWiki and Wikipedia for subjects that don't), snark, or bad jokes.

For the vast majority of my life I've had video games as a hobby. In fact, my username came from the video game series Animal Crossing. Gaston is a non-player character in the game (a rabbit, obviously; the yellow rabbit on the cover of the GameCube game, to be exact). It's the only game I'm aware of where the goats will respond to letters you give to them instead of eating said letters. My Wikipedia username came from Pokémon Colosseum and my FSTDT username comes from The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.[7]

Unlike a lot of users here, I do not have any scientific expertise aside from college-level knowledge of applied science as a microcomputer support specialist (complete with an Associate's Degree that's worth more than Kent Hovind's fake PhD, but a lot less than a real PhD), and am merely a college-leve enthusiast who likes wikis and dislikes pseudoscience and fundamentalism, but has nothing against Canada (I went to Nova Scotia when I was a teenager — it was awesome, albeit cold, there). I'm pretty good at working with computer hardware and even better at working with computer software, but I'm not so good at making computer software. though I would like to eventually learn how to use C# so I can finish a simple adventure game I was making it called Shaggy Frog Story, which I designed the interface for using MonoDevelop using some basic C# to make it work. I still need to program in more locations and learn how to save files to allow saving progress, which I would probably upload on a wiki for easy access (I was planning to use the FreeBSD License, which allows people do do about anything with them as long as credit is given and copyright notices are not removed; Wikipedia allows uploading free software so I could put it on the Wikimedia Commons).[8] I took a couple C++ classes in college and it's tedious and annoying to work with, but I have taken a liking to Visual Basic and C#, which fortunately both have a Linux implementation in the form of Mono, and the former is more typo-friendly than C or C++ (it isn't case sensitive like C/C++ and doesn't require everything to end with a semicolon; it doesn't require statements to end with any punctuation).

In terms of digital demographics (a neologism I made up), I use Mozilla Firefox on Ubuntu (64-bit version) and Windows 7 Ultimate (64-bit version) and I've also messed around with several other operating systems using VirtualBox. In May 2011 (the month containing the end of the world), I replaced my BlackBerry[9] with a Droid[10] and due to the latter's (unsurprising) use of Android as its OS, I run Firefox on my cell phone as well since the mobile version of Firefox has an Android version.

In terms of real demographics, I come from the southeastern part of Illinois.[11] The wildlife tends to consist a lot of things, such as raccoons who steal my cats' food, deer who after about a century still don't know what a car is and to get out of the way at one instead of staring at it (though fortunately after I moved the new neighborhood didn't have any), rabbits that just kind of hop around and stuff, groundhogs that stand on their hind legs and stare blankly, several different insects (including moths that lose their sense of direction in the presence of artificial light and dragonflies that don't seem to have one to begin with), and several birds, mostly the typical American Robin, Common Grackles, House Sparrows that are extremely common despite their non-native status, European Starlings (same as with the sparrows), fat Mourning Doves, Wild Turkeys that are also fat, American Kestrels (in the past I had a female diving at prey that looked like she was skydiving), Red-tailed Hawks, Turkey Vultures that clean up the stuff the human population runs over with cars, Brown-headed Cowbirds, and Chipping Sparrows (a sparrow species native to the United States; it's in the same family as Old World buntings and not Old World sparrows).

I invented the act of sporking.

I have a mild form of the already mild Asperger's syndrome (which for some odd reason took until 2011 to actually get diagnosed). In contrast to more severe autism spectrum disorders, it's just "kind of there" and doesn't cause many problems As a result of having an autism spectrum disorder, I don't think highly of anti-vaccination cranks.[12]

I also have a banana allergy.[13] They make my throat itchy and puffy (though it isn't very severe or long-lasting). So much for being intelligently designed, Bananaman.

Thanks for reading my user page. (Why did you do that? It's boring.) I bid you goatspeed.

[edit] Extended rambling

  1. iPhone-based voice-operated Internet search app, for other non-Apple people (I use Android)
  2. Whatever that means.
  3. The title of FSTDT should explain why I read them in the first place.
  4. Actually, it's because I don't want to join a site run by delusional morons, for delusional morons (and people who pretend to be one).
  5. Nothing against the site; it's just that anything funny I say is generally made up on the spot and I'm better with wikis that specialize in storing information instead of humor.
  6. I am not actually an evil wizard.
  7. The last two are villains. The first one is just grumpy (and old).
  8. It's the typos, no doubt.
  9. Specifically, a BlackBerry Storm (original version).
  10. Specifically, a Droid 2 Global, though I don't use the global feature, nor do I have any need for it thanks to passports' high costs and the recent need for one to go to Canada.
  11. I put the part on the Illinois article about people in this part of the state sounding vaguely Southern. My family was mistaken for being from the Carolinas when I was in northeastern Massachusetts (I've only been to the Carolinas once that I'm aware of).
  12. Not that anyone else, autistic or otherwise, has any reason to think highly of them.
  13. According to Wikipedia, my walnut allergy is related.
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