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{{bronze}}[[Image:Rschlafly.jpg |thumb|right|Tired of being alone, 39, into music, computers, cinema, and WLTM a younger guy 18-26 for fun, friendship, perhaps more...]]
 
{{bronze}}[[Image:Rschlafly.jpg |thumb|right|Tired of being alone, 39, into music, computers, cinema, and WLTM a younger guy 18-26 for fun, friendship, perhaps more...]]
 
[[Image:rashfly.jpg|thumb|Scarier without the whiskers?<BR>With them?<BR>We provide, ''you'' decide!]]
 
[[Image:rashfly.jpg|thumb|Scarier without the whiskers?<BR>With them?<BR>We provide, ''you'' decide!]]
[[Image:Roger_Schlafly_blogger.jpg|thumb|Roger with too short a focal length.]]
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[[Image:Roger_Schlafly_blogger.jpg|thumb|Roger with too short a focal length. He looks like Rowan Atkinson (the actor who plays Mr. Bean) only with curlier hair.]]
  
 
'''Roger Schlafly''' is the hillbilly<ref>[http://meetme.hotornot.com/?mp=1&state=vote&votee=3828553&vt=26&rand=205 Santa Cruz mountains, CA]</ref> brother of [[Conservapedia]] founder [[Andrew Schlafly]] and is a conservative activist in his own right. Among Phyllis Schlafly's brood, Roger ranks third in order of birth and runs a close race with Andy for lack of intelligence.
 
'''Roger Schlafly''' is the hillbilly<ref>[http://meetme.hotornot.com/?mp=1&state=vote&votee=3828553&vt=26&rand=205 Santa Cruz mountains, CA]</ref> brother of [[Conservapedia]] founder [[Andrew Schlafly]] and is a conservative activist in his own right. Among Phyllis Schlafly's brood, Roger ranks third in order of birth and runs a close race with Andy for lack of intelligence.

Revision as of 22:38, 24 October 2010

Tired of being alone, 39, into music, computers, cinema, and WLTM a younger guy 18-26 for fun, friendship, perhaps more...
Scarier without the whiskers?
With them?
We provide, you decide!
Roger with too short a focal length. He looks like Rowan Atkinson (the actor who plays Mr. Bean) only with curlier hair.

Roger Schlafly is the hillbilly[1] brother of Conservapedia founder Andrew Schlafly and is a conservative activist in his own right. Among Phyllis Schlafly's brood, Roger ranks third in order of birth and runs a close race with Andy for lack of intelligence.

Surprisingly, he contests many of Andy's ridiculous claims. Though his motives are unknown, his despicable posting of facts is sure to soon earn him scorn as yet another deceitful liberal (and probably a ban).

Academic career

According to his mommy's newsletter::

In 1979, a handful of students including Roger Schlafly (then studying for his Ph.D. in math) went into the Small Claims Court to challenge the policy of taxing all students and channeling the money into leftwing causes.

After a 30-minute hearing, the handful of students won, based on Thomas Jefferson's dictum: "To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves, is sinful and tyrannical."

The powerful University of California, determined to maintain the flow of the $3-million-a-year student-fee money to leftwing causes, then hired high-priced San Francisco lawyers and moved the case into the regular state courts where the litigation dragged on for 14 years.[2]

Schlafly graduated from St. Louis Priory School in 1973.[3] He received a summa cum laude B.S. in electrical engineering from Princeton University in 1976.[4][5] A year later, he earned his master's degree from University of California, Berkeley. In 1980, he received his Ph.D. in mathematics from the University of California, Berkeley. His dissertation was titled Universal Connections and a Characteristic Class for Euclidean Space, and he studied under the advisory of Isadore Manual Singer.[6] He has been an instructor at the University of Chicago as "an L.E. Dickson Instructor with research interests in differential geometry and mathematical physics"[7] and the University of California, Santa Cruz.[4]

In 1995, he, along with Joel Hass and Micheal Hutching, proved the double bubble conjecture for bubbles of equal volume.[8][9]

Personal life

According to Schlafly's personal site, he is "a mathematician, computer scientist, cryptology consultant, computer programmer, and patent agent" and is "available if you need an expert opinion on a cryptosystem or a patent. Often some money paid for analysis in advance can save a lot of money and trouble later." Roger is a self-confessed Libran and a Rat.[10]

Roger is also a raging paranoiac, which is partly why brother Andrew tried not to let him know about his new blog, "Conservapedia". He found out about it via the news,[11] however, and their mom made Andy let Roger play with him.

Roger apparently thinks he is a pretty bright guy, but so was Ted Kaczinski, his fashion idol. Want to meet him? He's available!

Hi, I live in the Santa Cruz mountains. I like my job, adventures, kids, and intelligent women. I have a PhD in Math and I can discuss many other subjects. I am fit, educated, healthy, addiction-free, sane, divorced, debt-free, and available.[12]

Siblings

Failed cryptographer

Roger is perhaps best remembered for his invention of a bizarre stream cipher for the (then) popular pkzip compression tool. Compared to similar stream ciphers of the day, such as the then still secret RC4 this cipher could at best be described as inefficient and idiosyncratic. It was very quickly proved insecure, with analytical attacks far better than brute force shown to be possible including a known plaintext attack requiring just 13 octets of plaintext.

Going from strength to strength, Roger managed to get himself sued by security giant RSA Data Security for violating their US patents to public key encryption algorithms. He briefly found himself a usenet cause célèbre by filing suit against RSA claiming various of their patents were invalid and $2 million in damages. The suit was dismissed. It is not known if this particular bungle involved his brother, who would have been newly qualified as a lawyer at the time.

Later achievements

Conservlogo late april.png
For those living in an alternate reality, Conservapedia has an "article" about Roger Schlafly

As a blogger

Roger Schlafly writes two blogs. At Dark Buzz, a science-focused blog, he conveys "ideas and information that are essential to understanding our world...ignored by the mainstream media".[13] There, he engages in quite a bit of Einstein-bashing and frequently labels him a plagiarist and fraud. He frequently writes about Henri Poincare, a French physicist who he believes is a victim of underappreciation because of Einstein, despite that everyone seems to know the name. Ironically, a lot of times Roger cites The New York Times and other "mainstream media" sources in Dark Buzz including the BBC. At Singular Values, he expresses his grievances with everything that liberals made wrong with the world.

Regarding Singular Values:

Besides numerical values, there are also the values that represent the qualities or beliefs that people consider important, such as loyalty and respect. Some values are singularly important, and yet are commonly overlooked. One example is the American Patriarchy. I defend it here.[13]

For some time he cross-posted his blogs.

As an eater

On June 28, 2008, Roger became a professional "gurgitator", gulping 11 hot dogs and buns and finishing second at the San Bruno’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. He was right behind Kevin Ross, who managed to eat 17 and 3/4 hot dogs and buns. [14]

Schlafly, a newcomer to competitive eating, was surprised at his capabilities. To achieve his second place finish, "When prompted to eat, [Schlafly] broke a hot dog in half, rammed it into his mouth, chewed and swallowed. Then he dunked the bun in water and crammed it into his mouth." Charming.

San Bruno’s contest is a qualifier for the national round in New York. Ross's win earned him a trip to participate in the 91st Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest on Coney Island, which took place in July, 2008.

Roger stayed at home.

Beliefs

He writes from (as you'd expect) the perspective of a right-wing, white male heterosexual American Christian with libertarian leanings, and has cited the white nationalist[15] website VDARE.[16]

Also, on his blogs, he has expressed that:

  • "There is no reason for educated people to use anything but English"[17]
  • "Soon there will be very little reason for any English-speaker to learn another language."[18]
  • Incompetent pretty boys are more likely than incompetent bimbos to learn the ropes in political office.[19]
  • Eric Rudolph, the Atlanta Olympics bomber, was an atheist (despite being part of the Christian Identity movement)[20]
  • Laws banning use of cell phones while driving are ineffective.[21]
  • It's wrong to have cheerleaders at girls' high school sporting events.[22]
  • There doesn't need to be a Voting Rights Act because: "[n]o ethnic groups face any significant voting burdens anywhere in the US."[23]
  • Kids under 2 should be able to watch TV, despite what the American Academy of Pediatrics thinks.[24] "Pediatricians are experts on child medicine, but have no expertise in TV watching."[25] He also said: "an hour or so of the right TV shows could be beneficial to one-year-olds."[26]
  • Teens involved in sexting shouldn't be prosecuted: it's too draconian! (Hmm, that ain't exactly socially conservative...)[27]

Schlafly only accepts academic studies that fit his pre-existing worldview. For example, he has dismissed a study by the American Psychological Association that concluded that children who were spanked were more likely to engage in aggressive behavior in adulthood,[28] but agreed with a study that concluded that Baby Einstein videos hindered language development in children.[26]

Interests and activities

  • Smiting sodomites
  • Renouncing the Enlightenment
  • Making sure he has the BIGGEST gun possible.
  • Documenting grudges [29]
  • Bashing string theory
  • Optimizing spreadsheet performance [30]
  • Glorifying the English Language[31]

Number 1

This article, like the one on his brother Andy, has the distinction of being number 1 on a Google search.[32].

Roger on Andy?

I keep running into people who seem to think that they have mind reading capabilities. They will confidently state what other people must be thinking, based on the skimpiest of evidence.

I am the sort of man who is not hard to read. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. Nevertheless, I sometimes hear people try to tell me that I am thinking something completely different.

People seem to do this mind reading without even realizing that they are doing it. And they don't seem affected by the contrary evidence.[33]

See also

  • Schlafly; our fork page for Schlafly and eponymous articles.

External links

Footnotes

  1. Santa Cruz mountains, CA
  2. http://www.eagleforum.org/psr/2002/apr02/psrapr02.shtml
  3. The manifold applications of Pascal's Triangle (senior thesis at SLPS)
  4. 4.0 4.1 Official Vaccine Policy Flawed article by Roger Schlafly
  5. Forcing and nilpotent groups (senior thesis at Princeton)
  6. Roger Sherwood Schlafly at Mathematics Genome Project
  7. About page at Information Security Corporation (click on "Management")
  8. How to cut a cake, Ian Stewart, Oxford University Press, 2006
  9. The paper in question.
  10. http://www.blogger.com/profile/01839535941901980008
  11. http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:RSchlafly&diff=39773&oldid=39726img
  12. Roger's perfect mate would almost certainly be a goat. Goats also live in the mountains. They enjoy adventures, they have kids, and are intelligent (for godless beasts, anyway). Goats are fit, healthy, addiction-free, sane, debt-free, and available -- for as little as 150 American dollars.
  13. 13.0 13.1 About Roger's blogs
  14. San Mateo County’s Weekend Roundup. Also see cp:Competitive eating
  15. SPLC said so!
  16. http://schlafly.blogspot.com/2009/10/foreign-born-prize-winners.html
  17. Avoiding goofy character sets (Dec. 22, 2009). This post regards the proposed use of Cyrillic characters in Web domain names. Unamerican movie (Dec. 27, 2009). He criticizes the use of British accents in the movie Sherlock Holmes and appears to have a problem with a character in the TV show House having an...AUSTRALIAN accent of all things!
  18. California gives driving exams in 34 languages... He even promotes cultural ignorance: "Tagalog is so obscure that most people don't even know what it is." So he's among "most people"?
  19. Vote for the good-looking man
  20. Jihad in Fort Hood Texas, Arab Group Has Ties to Terrorists
  21. Cell phone laws failed
  22. Silly Title IX claims
  23. http://schlafly.blogspot.com/2002/08/aclu-thinks-that-forbidding-convicted.html
  24. Pediatricians give bad TV advice
  25. Study on risks of toddlers watching TV
  26. 26.0 26.1 Baby videos may hinder infant language development, Baby Einstein a failure
  27. Teen prankster arrested for racial joke
  28. New bogus spanking study
  29. http://web.archive.org/web/20050420024602/http://www.mindspring.com/~schlafly/kooks.htm
  30. http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect2=PTO1&Sect2=HITOFF&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsearch-bool.html&r=1&f=G&l=50&d=PALL&RefSrch=yes&Query=PN%2F5471612
  31. Roger blogs about language (WARNING: Not for the politically correct/easily offended)
  32. Look it up yourself if you don't believe us.
  33. One of Roger's blogs