Fun:Andy's Evening

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Andy's Evening[edit]

Andy nodded smugly as a fine heterosexual conservative breeze blew through the open window. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. He was used to receiving hourly requests for attention from Ken, but in this one instance he smiled as he read Ken's latest article suggestion: Richard Dawkins and his riches to riches story. With no thought for his personal safety, he allowed himself to sink in to his chair.


With a gleam in his eye and a spring in his step, Andy's thoughts turned to the recent mention Conservapedia has had in the media, which he confirmed with a quick skim was glowing positive! As he demanded his wife make him a ham and swiss cheese sandwich, to fulfill her duty as his 'helpmeet', Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep. Grappling in the darkness for his glasses, Andy grumbled as his sleep was cut short. Pulling his pants on as he ran toward his study and the ringing phone, Andy swayed dangerously as his hangover took full effect. Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation. Andy felt his grip on the phone tighten as the moment he had been dreading unfolded before him. With a loud crack, the phone had snapped in half under Andy's grip. With no hesitation, Andy dashed to his computer. The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles. " Filthy librulz!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.


His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from His talk page, by now almost entirely occupied by Ken's tragic please for attention, and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article. As the article loaded, Andy's pupils shrank to specks, his glasses started to fog up as pure rage shows on his face. After immediately engaging in a polite and reasoned discussion with his critics, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.


After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:

' "Anonymous User" (obviously not your real name), people who thumb their noses at God are sent to Hell. I've managed to read your rants and you are unlike 99% of evolutionists, who avoid the Bible like the plague and even discourage others from reading it, so anyone with an open mind can see that you're a homosexual. Denying this calls into question all of your credibility on the fact that Conservapedia deters Hollywood values. In sum, Carl Sagan was the public spokesmen for liberal scientists in the 1970s and 1980s, and an informal adviser to Jimmy Carter and other Democratic leaders. Parroting what you perceive to be an "expert" view might help you win the favor of some liberals, but our project is at a higher level than that. Study the Bible and follow its commandments.--Aschlafly 08:00, 19 April 2024 (UTC)'

Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:

Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of Until the rapture (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Moronic vandalism)


With the liberal vandal defeated, Andy breathed a deep sigh. Thanks to Andy's vigilant efforts, Conservapedians continued to wallow in their ignorance. Things were back to normal.

The End