Fun:Andy's Evening

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[edit] Andy's Evening

A gentle breeze softly caressed his prison sculpted body, leaving him reluctant to tear his gaze away from the handsome brute in the mirror. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. The day had been long and tedious, all day Andy had been focusing on an upcoming event, Ed Poor's parole hearing. As long as the day had been, it seemed worth it for this very moment, the opportunity to relax.


Chuckling to himself, Andy's thoughts turned to the recent success Conservapedia has had on YouTube. As he perused Conservapedia's recent changes, Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep. Andy's dreams of white clouds and warm, loving light evaporated as he woke suddenly. Swearing loudly as he kicked his toe on the edge of the door, Andy stumbled through the darkness toward the sound of the ringing phone. Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation. Andy felt his grip on the phone tighten as the moment he had been dreading unfolded before him. With a loud crack, the phone had snapped in half under Andy's grip. With no hesitation, Andy dashed to his computer. The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles. " Godless butt face!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.


His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from Phelps's site and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article. As the article loaded, Andy was incandescent with rage when he read repeated requests for him to cite the sources of the statistics he'd cleverly developed in support of his claims. After immediately praying for god to smite the author, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.


After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:

' "Anonymous User" (I see you don't use the proper naming convention), I reread the beginning of your rant at the top of this section and found propaganda supporting tax-payer funded abortion and higher taxes, so anyone with an open mind can see that you're here to do harm to family values. You also clearly deny that feudalism helps resist Wikipedia bias. Observation and logic dictate that the notion of God-directed evolution contradicts two of the most fundamental tenets of Christianity: that man was created in God's image, and that Christ redeemed the sign of Adam. Viking men with their superior weapons were destroyed by a few random Indians in Newfoundland? Funny how liberals don't seem to make the Indians the scapegoats when it's to further an absurd claim. And may God help those who deny Christ after what He went through.--Aschlafly 06:56, 26 April 2015 (UTC)'

Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:

Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of 394200000 sec. (5 years) (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Lacks machismo)


Conservapedia was safe for another night. Chuckling to himself, Andy knew it was safe to sleep once again. He knew he'd earned it.

The End

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