Fun:Andy's Evening
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Andy's Evening[edit]
The summer air wafted in, frustratingly undermining free market principles by providing warmth at no cost. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. The day had been long and tedious, all day Andy had been focusing on an upcoming event, his riches to riches story. The stress of the long day seemed to evaporate as Andy lowered himself into his chair, the burdens of the day had finally lifted.
Clutching his treasured lock of Reagan's hair,
Andy's thoughts turned to the recent
mention Conservapedia has had in the media, which he confirmed with a quick skim was glowing positive!
As he
fondly reminisced of the years George W. Bush was president,
Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep.
Andy's dreams of white clouds and warm, loving light evaporated as he woke suddenly.
Pulling his pants on as he ran toward his study and the ringing phone, Andy swayed dangerously as his hangover took full effect.
Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation.
Andy felt his grip on the phone tighten as the moment he had been dreading unfolded before him. With a loud crack, the phone had snapped in half under Andy's grip. With no hesitation, Andy dashed to his computer.
The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles.
"
Son of a lamprey!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.
His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from
Fox News and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article.
As the article loaded,
Andy was appalled at the sources cited for the new information added to the article, the list of university sites clearly shows status worship contamination.
After immediately
reverting the changes, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.
After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:
- ' "Anonymous User" (you can't even post in your own real name), you have free will and can laugh at anything that you can persuade yourself to be funny. I've managed to read your rants and noticed you draw a silly distinction between sheep and goats (which I've reverted), so my confidence is over three standard deviations away from the mean that you're a second generation atheist. Furthermore, you are in denial that creationism prevents research into gravitons. As I've said before, animals don't dress themselves. They really don't. Stop wasting my time. Contribute to this encyclopedia, or move on.--Andy Schlafly 23:48, 30 June 2025 (UTC)'
Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:
- Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of 394200000 sec. (5 years) (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Moronic vandalism)
Conservapedia was safe for another night.
Chuckling to himself, Andy knew it was safe to sleep once again. He knew he'd earned it.
The End