Holy Spirit

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Depiction of the Holy Spirit as tongues of flame descending upon the heads of the Apostles and Mary
Christ died so that we may
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Christianity

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A multi-chef broth
Devil's in the details
The pearly gates

The Holy Spirit, sometimes referred to as the Holy Ghost, is a truly divine vodka the Third Part of the Three-for-the-price-of-One Three-in-One Trinity (not to be confused with the nuclear bomb or a chick female character from the Matrix) as featured in the popular "Christian" novels and miniseries, The Bible.

Despite being One Third of the Big Man Himself, it doesn't really seem to do much of anything.[note 1] Many pastors have proclaimed the name of the Holy Spirit to their followers, but nobody has ever really explained what it is.

The other Two Thirds are "God the Father" and "God the Sun Son". This Third is probably the dead part, or, perhaps, The Moon, as featured in many American "coming of age" movies, and late drummer for The Who.

Contents

[edit] People care

For some hereto unknown reason, lots of people care so much about the Holy Spirit and who he (or she) really is (I'm betting on Tom Baker, myself) that lots of blood has been shed. For a ghost, it sure isn't a friendly one.[note 2]

Does the Holy Ghost proceed from the Father only or from the Father and the Son? Christians disagree about that as Christians disagree about so much else. This disagreement was so important it caused the schism between the Roman Catholic and the Eastern Orthodox churches in 1054 CE.[2][3]

[edit] Mrs. Yahweh?

In recent years, the gender of the Holy Spirit has come into question[4], with evidence for male, female, and even neuter. Also, there are indications that early in the history of what would become Judaism, Yahweh once had a wife.

[edit] The unforgivable sin

According to Matthew chapter 12 and Mark chapter 3, you can dis the Father and the Son and it will be forgiven you, but if you blaspheme the Holy Spirit that's all she wrote. Your fate is sealed just like Fredo Corleone in Godfather IIWikipedia's W.svg when he fingered Michael for Johnny Ola and Hyman Roth. It will never be forgiven you.

[edit] See also

[edit] Notes

  1. Unless you're a Pentecostal, in which case the Holy Spirit causes you to speak in tongues, knocks you flat on the church floor to demonstrate the power of God, and sends you messages from God
  2. Though some people were convinced that the Holy Spirit is the patron deity of Ponzi schemes.[1]

[edit] References

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