Kissing Hank's Ass

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Kissing Hank's Ass is an analogy highlighting the absurdities of blind faith in general and some of the basic tenets of Christianity in specific. The story was written by James Huger and is viewable at his website as a transcript and as a downloadable pamphlet.[1] The story has become quite popular in atheist circles, and of course there are the obligatory adaptations posted to YouTube and similar video services.

Plot summary[edit]

The story is a conversation between two adherents of Hank and a stranger whose door they knocked on. The "Hankites" explain that Hank is a philanthropist who wants to give everyone one million dollars, but as the story unfolds it becomes clear that there are many conditions attached. The basic requirements are that everyone must kiss the ass of Hank, and must live according to Hank's rules. The rules are a mixture of common sense and esoteric dietary guidance, and of course no-one is actually allowed to see Hank. Furthermore, people only get the million dollars after they have left town and Hank's rules forbid people who have left town from communicating with those in town so people still in town must take everything on trust. People who decline Hank's generous offer will get the shit kicked out of them by Hank, while his loyal followers laugh and enjoy the spectacle.

See also[edit]

External links[edit]


  1. Kissing Hank's Ass by James Huber