Very Serious People
|One of the|
|And a dirty dozen more|
“”One reason that propaganda often works better on the educated than on the uneducated is that educated people read more, so they receive more propaganda. Another is that they're the commissars. They have jobs as agents of propaganda, and they believe it. By and large, they're part of the privileged elite, and share their interests and perceptions.
- being dishonest and self-serving,
- presenting facile "common sense" analyses as Great Wisdom, and
- consistently getting political predictions or policy recommendations wrong.
 Characteristics of Very Serious People
“”We last met in Chicago on a television talk show. A third-rate woman writer went on and on about how blacks had nothing to complain of in the American paradise. Finally, the Bird leaned back in his chair and shut his eyes. Nervously, the host asked, "Tennessee? Are you asleep?" "No," the Bird responded, eyes still shut. "I am not asleep, but sometimes I shut my eyes when I am bored."
|—Gore Vidal on Tennessee Williams|
- They identify with upper middle class, respectable person values and culture to a man, regardless of original background. Tends to wear white-collar clothing at all times. Public policy discussions are filtered via a parochial, gated community lens.
- They value common sense over scientific consensus when there is a conflict. When pushed far enough, VSPs will eventually err on the side of science, but will hold a candle for pseudoscience as long as it has a veneer of respectability. (Not having expertise of any kind is a feature of a VSP, not a defect.)
- They love the hell out of the balance fallacy and the misapplication of the horseshoe theory. They feel uncomfortable pointing out flaws concentrated in one end of the political spectrum without pointing to an opposite example so that they can say "both sides do it!"
- They are reluctant to identify their exact politics, but if they do, they usually identify themselves as something uncontroversial such as "moderately conservative," "classically liberal", "center-left", "center-right", "traditionalist," or "radically centrist." Be wary when using this standard to judge politicians outside the American sphere of influence, though. David Cameron and Nick Clegg would fit in the exact mold, but they're not this stupid.
- They consistently take the moderate positions of their time. Very rarely will an individual Very Serious Person have an opinion that is too far out of the mainstream. This also leads to VSPs being reflexively dismissive of alternate political perspectives, such as libertarianism and socialism, regardless of the truth value of individual claims.
- They overemphasize civility and niceness in public discourse. The Tea Party movement and Donald Trump on the right, and the Occupy Wall Street and Black Lives Matter movements on the left, are looked down upon not because of their aims, but because their tactics are too "disruptive" and "mean".
- As long as the previous caveat is satisfied, they have a fondness for the style over substance fallacy when evaluating political positions. Bullshit wrapped in a folksy anecdote and a G-rated zinger is more worthy of praise than the sober counter-point.
- Many (but not all) are overtly optimistic about the nature of politics, to the point of idealism. Oh, one party is willingly prepared to hijack the world economy because a law they don't like got passed? Oh, stop complaining and compromise like a Clinton. It's all good.
- They get bored examining proxy causes or causal chains with more than two links. They love the abuse of Occam's Razor.
- They are hegemonic. The government, regardless of ideology, is given the benefit of the doubt. This is especially true of the U.S. military.
- They have an odd fascination with/admiration of the "Real America," usually meaning small towns in the Midwest and/or New England. (Rarely the South, due to its association with Christian fundamentalism and racism, or the Western US, due to its association with the militia movement and the lawless pop culture image of the "Wild West".) They are very protective of these areas from what they considered negative forms of elitism, such as Hollywood values and "liberal elites", though suburbia and corporations that disturb "traditional" small town/city life (e.g. Wal-Mart) may also be met with hostility. Ironically, they themselves are usually city-dwellers and members of the elite; see the very first bullet point on this list.
- They get hysterical at generalized criticisms of Christianity, heteronormativity, privilege, and Western history or foreign policy. Criticizing excesses is on the table as long as it's made out to be a unique event. Don't you dare suggest that Abu Ghraib was caused by a toxic culture of Islamophobia and authoritarianism in the military; it was just lone American-hating perverts! And everything's fine now!
- This courtesy is not extended to subcultures at large. Muslims, pacifists, female public figures, campus activists, and French politics can be and are slammed without reciprocity being extended, and before the mainstream successes of the civil rights and gay rights movements, non-white and LGBT people were often treated the same way. In the '60s, they were the "white moderates" that Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke of as being greater obstacles to civil rights than overt segregationists, more committed to maintaining order and not rocking the boat than anything even if it meant blocking pushes for justice.
But most importantly:
- They face no punishment, ridicule, or loss of status for incorrect or mistaken opinions, as long as the opinions were mainstream when they were made.
 Typical policies
- "All Lives Matter" (translation: cop lives matter more than black lives do).
- American exceptionalism in the case of American VSPs, or "whig history" in the case of British VSPs.
- Austerity. Countries like Greece, Spain, and Portugal should be forced to impose large budget cuts or else face sanctions. VSPs love the International Monetary Fund keeping the world on the hook with insupportable debt, and call it democracy.
- Consumerism, except when it is perceived to challenge traditional values.
- Deficit hawkery, placing an emphasis on budget deficits over and beyond what both left and right-wing economists do.
- Enthusiastic support for wars as long as they're not too messy. The Gulf War is a darling of the VSP because it had all of the excitement of war with none of the messy (read: American) casualties or length. The Falklands War has a similar status for equivalent types in Britain, for those reasons but also because it gave Margaret Thatcher the political strength to take on and defeat the trade unions at home.
- An extremely reflexive support for Free Trade, supporting all trade deals while often not going into detail about why they actually support them just... because. Hardline support for TPP and dismissive of anyone (even actual economists) who disagree. The European Union and NAFTA are sacrosanct and must never be questioned. Very hostile to Euroskepticism and the Brexit which they blame on ignorance and consider blasphemy of the worst order.
- Live and let-live viewpoint on subcultures, with some mild disdain at worst. Laudable, but this often dovetails into being tolerant of intolerance, as long as it's quiet. (The exception is hippies, but everybody makes fun of hippies.)
- #NeverTrump, but for all the wrong reasons. Instead of opposing the Donald Trump candidacy for its racist dog whistling,
brownshirtsred hatted vigilante biker thugs, and obvious resemblance to classic fascism, they oppose him because of their knee-jerk support for NATO and NAFTA.
- Non-interventionist on civil rights. While VSP are strongly against rolling back civil rights that are already in place or fighting against long-term viewpoints on civil rights (such as an acceptance of women in the workforce), they prefer quieter "middle-ground" solutions like civil unions or Don't ask, don't tell. VSPs are eager to co-opt issues like LGBT rights and "diversity", but only after those gains became a fait accompli without the VSPs lifting a finger to help.
- Sunday school environmentalism. Environmentalism is another issue VSPs eagerly co-opted once it became a fait accompli without their help, but they tend to limit it to things like banning incandescent light bulbs. Whatever you do, don't mention overpopulation.
- Skepticism towards social safety nets, not because of economic concerns, but moral ones. (VSPs love them some welfare queen memes.)
- Support for the War on Drugs and any policies that purport to be "tough on crime."
 In summary
While Very Serious People are mostly harmless insofar that they allow the country they reside in to bumble along inefficiently, the insistence on respectability and consensus over the more important concern of being correct can have disastrous consequences. The Iraq War was one such example, and if they don't show some spine really quickly, climate change may be another.
The 2012 US Presidential Election was a great example of observing VSP mentality. In the single vice-presidential debate, you had Joe Biden, a flippant, buffoonish, smirking incumbent, up against Paul Ryan, a calm, charming, and attractive challenger. It's quite obvious who got the benefit of the doubt, despite the latter being the one consistently talking out of his ass. For historical examples, the Nixon-Kennedy and Carter-Reagan debates went along much the same route — VSPs were more impressed by the charisma, likability, and swift comebacks and zingers of Kennedy and Reagan, while judging Nixon as stiff and unlikable and Carter as a poor communicator.
That said, the existence and historical failures of Very Serious People should not be evidence of useful idiots propping up some sinister government agenda. Rather, it's a result of insular groupthink and the need to appeal to as broad of an audience as possible. Very Serious People have existed throughout history. The truth hurts and confrontation is offensive, but pablum is a warm puppy. Paul Krugman also refers to this as "Serious Person Syndrome," which states "it’s better to have been conventionally wrong than unconventionally right."
 Very Serious Pundits
- John Avlon
- Wolf Blitzer
- Max Boot (that is somebody's real name?)
- David Broder
- David Brooks
- Peter Daou
- Ross Douthat
- The Economist — A major home for the British version of this as a whole.
- Ron Fournier
- Thomas Friedman — Possibly the VSP, if it's not Brooks.
- David Frum
- Richard Haass
- Morton Kondrake
- Charles Krauthammer
- William Kristol
- Art "That's So Funny I Forgot To" Laffer
- Chris Matthews - MSNBC's resident Blue Dog Democrat
- Megan McArdle
- Matt Miller
- Peggy Noonan
- Kathleen Parker
- Joe Scarborough
- Chuck Todd
- Joan Walsh
- Washington Post - their editorial section is VSP Central Headquarters
- George Will
- Matt Ygelsias
 Very Serious Politicians
- Erskine Bowles
- Dianne Feinstein
- Alan Greenspan
- Hillary Clinton
- Barack Obama (sometimes)
- Marco Rubio
- Paul Ryan
- Larry Summers
 See also
- Americans Elect
- Epistemic closure
- Igon Value Problem
- Pluralistic ignorance
- Proll — The opposite since they usually cater to extremists and are purposely controversial.
- Rockefeller Republican
- Tone troll
- Wingnut welfare
- An example of a VSP site.
- How to Write Love Letters to America's Nonexistent Political Middle, Gawker
- ↑ Chomsky, Noam, "Propaganda Systems: Orwell's World and Ours", Propaganda Review no. 1 (Winter 1987-88).
- ↑ This is a phrase that refers to Washington D.C., the capital of the United States, to whose politics and policy this article mostly confines itself.
- ↑ Ironically, Krugman is considered a Very Serious Person by MMTers, but tu quoque aside, the underlying concept has some merit insofar as skepticism is concerned.
- ↑ Vidal, Palimpsest, p.406, Literary Creation Enterprises (1995).
- ↑ "Letter from Birmingham Jail"
- ↑ Serious Person Syndrome, The New York Times